HOLY SHIT GUYS! CLARK KENT IS BRUCE WAYNE!

Who the hell is Clark Kent? Google tells me he's just an irrelevant journalist.

He's married to Lois Lane, the far more succesul reporter whose won multiple pulitzer prizes. Lois Lane was recently seen making out with Superman, but Kent is suck a cuck that he hasn't filed for divorce.

I came here to discuss comics & cartoons, not tabloid-tier rubbish.

>look up this Clark Kent
>he's some blue checkmark Twitter ((())) piece of shit ""journalist""
lolfuck off

Is this a variation of the dumb BRUCE WAYNE IS BATMAN meme? Because it is, it's not funny. Clark Kent is just some literal who reporter whose only trending on Twitter because he's a cuck.

Clark Kent is Superman. Bruce Wayne is Batman.

If you don't believe me... good.

I only see a Kansas boy.

Look, I can see why somebody would think that Bruce Wayne is Batman, it requires several leaps in logic and ignoring massive amounts of evidence that prove otherwise, but I understand it.
But Superman has no secret identity, what you see is what you get. He's an alien demigod, he doesn't even wear a mask, there is no way he would waste his time pretending to be some normal guy, especially not a cuck journalist like Kent.

Bullshit, this is blatantly edited

Makes sense.
Working for a newspaper is a pretty good idea to know where your bulletproof ass is needed in the world.
Bruce is Batman makes sense too. I mean, he saw his parents die when he was 8 years old. Not exactly an age known for keeping shit together. Not to mention he was gone for what, a decade? Prolly to get the skills and or gear he needs to punch people really, really hard.

HOLD UP
THATS MATCHES MALONE
LOOK AT THE EYEBROWS JUST GIVE HIM SUNGLASSES AND THE MUSTACHE AND ITS PERFECT

Question is: Why is a reporter from Metropolis moonlighting as a mob boss from Gotham?

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We all know Bruce Wayne went on a sextour around the world to heal the trauma.
If I were rich and young I'd do the same thing.
Those orphans he adopted were probably all the children of the women he banged in those years away

>literal who
A literal who that got exclusive Interviews with supes?

Superman crash-landed on Earth as a newborn baby and was adopted by Jon and Martha Kent and was named Clark. He eventually moved to Metropolis and uses the glasses among other things to disguise himself, and it's the perfect disguise because what you said is exactly why he can get away with just wearing glasses and no one suspects a thing.

Bruce Wayne saw his parents murdered before his eyes, and this basically traumatized him heavily. He eventually embarked on a quest around the world, learning EVERYTHING, and then he came back to Gotham, was inspired by a bat flying through his window, and adopted the symbol of a bat as he began waging war on crime.

I know you won't believe me, because I am from another reality, where Superman and Batman and everyone in your world is just a comic book franchise. A very popular comic book franchise, with tons of movie and cartoon adaptations, so Superman and Batman's secret identities are common knowledge. But in your universe, those identities are secret and no one is supposed to know, so when I tell you all the truth flat-out, you are all pre-written to not believe me, because it's a mandatory rule in how your universe works, that Superman and Batman's identities can never be exposed.

You know that Kent interviewed Wayne right?
Like multiple times, hell, they even got pictures together

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Who the hell is Bruce Wayne?

That was deep man!

>Doubt

Wayne is Batman. He has to be to afford that car/tank thing he drives around in. You can’t exactly get one of those at the dollar shop.

>pic related, you
What's next?
Lex Luthor is actually evil?
Oliver Queen is the Green Arrow?
Oh, Oh and let me guess there are infinte parallel universes, right??
Get real you schmuck

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Yes, all of that is indeed the case. Anything you say in that sarcastic tone is likely to actually be the case as well. Again, you all live in a comic book universe.

>Wayne is Batman
Yeah, nah. We all know Wayne is the ultimate Playboy. As if the motherfucker even knew where the Cauldron is.
But...do you know who Batman might really be?
Lex Luthor.
Ther man has the intellect and the interest in keeping Gotham clean, especially after he invested so much money into the infrastructure

Bruce Wayne is Batman. The whole playboy thing is just an act to distinguish the Bruce Wayne persona from the Batman persona in the public consciousness.

Get some meds my man

Listen to yourself
He can't be Batman, it's like physically impossible. You're basically implying that the guy works on no sleep at all.
Even Superman being Batman makes more sense

LOL
I work for a company that always prepares the banquets and parties for Wayne Corp, and any time anything goes wrong, that jackass Bruce Wayne is the FIRST person to escape because he's such a coward. Like, I think he even made secret exit doors for himself because he's that scared for his own life.
There is no logical reason for him to be Batman.

That theory doesn’t pan out. If it was true, Lex would need a jet or whatever to get from Metropolis to Gotham whenever Gordon lights up the signal, and who knows how many are going to die while he’s in transit.

How can anyone be this retarded. If Bruce Wayne is Batman, then that means in times of crisis, Bruce Wayne has to be the first person to leave so that he can quickly enter the scene as Batman.

Bruce Wayne really doesn't get much sleep, that is indeed true. But he doesn't need to sleep much because he's Batman.

>Wayne is Batman
Yes, because his parents got murdered he went to travel the world training in all kinds of black ops and ninja shit + learned multiple languages and detective skills in just 12 years
He then came back and decided to dress himself like a bat(for reasons) and beat up random criminals in Gothams alleys
Because thats what sane people do right?

is right. Wayne is a coward. I wouldn't be suprised if "Batman" is just Waynes personal Merc Army that is cleaning up Gotham in some sort of super righteous brain stroke

That, OR he’s going to get his suit specially made for people punching.

That's EXACTLY what a rich kid who JUST saw his parents murdered before his eyes in an alley would do. Like, seriously, are you hearing yourself?

If Wayne is Batman explain this picture.
Cause if you ask me, thats clearly Batman and Bruce Wayne in one picture

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Haven't you heard about those rich people who play pretend as bums for fun?

I brought this up earlier too. 8 year olds aren’t exactly known for keeping their shit together.

The fuck!?
No!
Kids that see their parents get murked maybe MAYBE get over it in time with a lot of help and counseling or they snap, buy a glock and cap themselves and the guy that had something to do with it
They DO NOT get fucking CIA Blackops training and dress up like a Bat to punch criminals that is fucking insane? The fuck is wrong with you?
Is it "let-the-inmates-on-the-internet-day" at Arkham?

Superheroes do stuff like that all the time to make sure that no one catches on. Stunt doubles or shapeshifters or whatever could come onto the scene specifically so that a person saying "CLARK KENT IS SUPERMAN" would feel stupid, and then later on when no one's looking, Clark will turn to "Superman" and say "Thanks, Martian Manhunter." And then "Superman" changes into Martian Manhunter and says "Anytime, Superman".

You mean to tell me, than an 8 year old kid, that JUST walked out of the theater watching the Mark of Zorro, wouldn't use his insane wealth to travel around the world learning every skill so that he could beat up all the criminals? Cause that's exactly what a kid would do.

The last time I saw this much denial I was in Egypt.

What kind of bonkers fantasy world is your brain stuck in? We don't live in a comicbook, dipshit. Any kid who got traumatized like that would be taken into good care by their new parental guardian.

Bruce's guardian was Alfred Pennyworth, his butler. Alfred takes good care of Bruce as much as he can, but he's never really able to stop Bruce from being Batman. He can only do his best to patch him up every night, and hope he comes back home alive.

And yes, you are living in a comic book world. But I exist beyond your reality. And I know that from the way your world works, you will never ever believe me. Because you are just a background character that doesn't matter at all, because the narrative focus is always on Batman and the other heroes.

So did you forget the Waynes have a butler, or?

They really should lock you up in the Asylum.

>all of this
You need to go back

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Wait a fucking minute...

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I don't fucking know, maybe they do? I don't understand why you're all obsessed with whoever works in that damn wayne mansion, you've poisoned your minds with tabloids.

No one, or almost no one, in Arkham believes Bruce Wayne is Batman, because they're his villains. They, just like you, aren't supposed to know that Bruce Wayne is Batman unless it'll serve some big narrative purpose for a cool plot line.

So even they would think I'm crazy just like you do.

>think I'm crazy
You are crazy
>it'll serve some big narrative purpose for a cool plot line.
This isn't a Marvel comic son, Wayne may be a billionare but he isn't fucking Iron Man if you know what I mean

Oh silly user. I don’t need that tawdry nonsense. I have Yea Forums, which is full of people people who enjoy being wrong, just like you!

Seriously, last time I saw someone being this wrong online it was Matpat.

Marvel Comics is rival universe to this one.

There's been crossovers before but they're not canon anymore, so naturally none of you have any memory of the time the Justice League and the Avengers teamed up, or fought, or whatever.

You are all living in a comic book universe that has been rebooted several times.

>Thinking a rich ass playboy like Bruce fucking Wayne would actually care about the people
I heard he hired the guy who killed his parents so he could have their inheritance

The Earth is regularly invaded by aliens who call themselves gods, there are super A.I.s that go rouge monthly, there's magic bullshit happening all the time (remember when everyone, EVERYONE on the planet except for the kids got sent to that bullshit purgatory dimension for like a day?), a man wearing a clown suit controls a sizable chunk of organized crime, and you question if this isn't a comic book world?

It would certainly explain the amount and frequency of bullshit that happens.

>this bullshit theory again
Oh hush, you. I bet you also believe all the threads on Yea Forums on who are going to be the final two smash bros characters.

This is the last real superman for me. I don't know whos idea it was to make Superman not a boy scout but its fucking awful.

I honestly think D/C guaranteed itself at least a decade of mediocrity when they had Superman take a life in man of steel. And for what? All to fit in with the edgy Nolan movies.

>It's like saying Superman is also Batman during the night.
>implying that's not the perfect secret identity
cope harder superman, we know your secret

WHO THE HELL IS BRUCE WAYNE?

>Going to a charity event after winning a ticket from WayneTech Raffle
>Mothafuckin' Bruce Wayne is there
>About to talk to him, shake the man's hand, the works
>Suddenly, The Joker crashes the party, takes some people hostage, threatens to gas everyone unless Batman comes
>Turn to Mr. Wayne, hope he's got a plan
>He's gone
>mfw
thankfully, Batman, an actually BRAVE and COOL person came and stopped the clown. God, and to think I thought Bruce was cool

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>Wayne
That's Black Adam, look at the reciding hairline!

Bruce Wayne was gone because he left to put on his Batsuit.

Wait, what if Bruce Wayne IS the Joker?

>The Earth is regularly invaded by aliens who call themselves gods, there are super A.I.s that go rouge monthly, there's magic bullshit happening all the time (remember when everyone, EVERYONE on the planet except for the kids got sent to that bullshit purgatory dimension for like a day?), a man wearing a clown suit controls a sizable chunk of organized crime, and you question if this isn't a comic book world?
Just because those things have become commonplace now and used to be completely unheard of doesn't mean we live in a fucking comic book.
Airplanes, spaceships, satellites, telephones, television, the internet, women having the right to vote and control their own lives, black people having equal rights under the law... all of those things used to be the thing of fantasies. Or wait, or you saying that all of those things are also part of our "fictional" comic book world and your real world has none of them?

user, the only clown around here is you.

Do you know how little journalists make?
I mean... I dunno why a mob boss would bother being a journalist though... tax fraud?

Don't be stupid.

>Airplanes, spaceships, satellites, telephones, television, the internet, women having the right to vote and control their own lives, black people having equal rights under the law

This is real world stuff.

>The Earth is regularly invaded by aliens who call themselves gods, there are super A.I.s that go rouge monthly, there's magic bullshit happening all the time (remember when everyone, EVERYONE on the planet except for the kids got sent to that bullshit purgatory dimension for like a day?), a man wearing a clown suit controls a sizable chunk of organized crime, and you question if this isn't a comic book world?

This is the comic book events to create exciting stories every month.

Alex Jones, pls go.

Guys just hears me out, but I think Thomas Wayne may have an affair with other Martha.

Who's Alex Jones?

HOLY PENIS, WHAT A SCOOP!

Rich people are weird like that.

Holy shit, some fetish related to the Martha's name?

He was 8. I know he's a boy genius or something but WHAT 8 YEAR OLD HIRE ASSASSIANS?!

>implying it's not advanced space technology
he's an alien. gotta be. probably a black martian or a benevolent alien facehugger or something crazy like that

why would bruce wayne do business with a literal rapist?

Don't you know? Bruce Wayne is raping Barbara Gordon.

I heard she was fucking batmans entire rogue gallery,they occasionally meet up for gang bangs in abandoned warehouses.

mere misogynist propaganda. it's actually gordon himself doing that.

Oh shut up barbara we all know your crush on killer moth and how you constantly try to seduce the poor guy.You probably still schlick to those pictures joker took of you.

please, joker takes those photos of everyone. he's scattered at least seventeen of dick grayson's ass alone in each of his hideouts.

>It's like saying Superman is also Batman during the night.
Well, Superman is powered by the sun.

Dont give me that! You send him nudes every weekend,I checked your phone.

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>Lois Lane was recently seen making out with Superman
Poor fucking guy, not only is he a mediocre journalist forever in the shadow of his wife, he has to live knowing she'll never love him as much as the MOST POWERFUL AND FAMOUS GUY IN THE PLANET

Guys...

(OP)

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How would a journalist afford Batman's tools? Besides, Kent wears glasses, he can't go around beating criminals up at night.

>implying superman is not also fucking clark kent

...Those chins...Hmmm.

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>elseworlds where Clark loses his powers when the sun goes down, but due to being directly solar powered he doesn't need sleep so he's Superman AND Batman
Fund it

These sorts of threads are fun on other boards but Yea Forums takes the roleplaying bit beyond humor and into autism. Go back to tumblr

Why do people keep calling Poison Ivy a villain? She seems nice.

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You would say that, you brotherfucker.

She just wants to grow her plants in peace and maybe scissor some clownpuss, but the Bat keeps fucking around trying to stop her? I don't get it.

>Why is a the notorious bio terrorist who values fucking plants over people a bad guy?
Does Arkham allow internet access or something?

That's Captain Marvel, you dumbass.

Bullshit they both dont have tits

Yes but that's unrelated.
Ivy never bothered me, but one time the Bat launched some fucking grappling hook thing out of that gaudy car of his, hit the side of my building and used it to turn a corner really fast. The damage to the brickwork was a nightmare to get repaired, I'm still digging myself out of the financial hole that put me in.
Fuck Batman, I'll take plant-lady over that nutcase any day, besides who doesn't like a few more plants here and there?

>believing a guy with glasses is superman
You poor ignorant fool...

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