Mike Tyson Mysteries New Episode

IF ONLY I KNEW THEN...

That is the entire story of my life.

Go home

Text forrest

Some bad lip-sync this episode...

catfishers don't kill you, they just rob you

Pigeon you didn't even give us a number

RIGHT
i tried watching this the other day and i thought it aw totally mediocre but ive been told so mcuh stuff abut it
is it actually good because as far as ive seen its mike being stupid some chink being smart some queer being cocky and a pigeon being edgy, maybe im missing the point
does it actually hold up becasue im bored fucking brainless without having a job atm?

>Tyson with a gun

That's like adding -3 to his skill stats.

>texted Home just to troll
>they actually went home

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So I assume Deezy is dead

sodium theopental sounds too close to sodium pentothal to me.

cordovan shoes guy, why is his voice familiar to me?

the stream cut at the worst/best possible spot there during Pigeon's fourthwall break

wait was this a real thing.

>maybe im missing the point
do you ever laugh?

Damn I wanted him to fight the homeless man

FORREST

I think I say this every time but what the fuck are we even doing?

>Atlanta
>First person they run into isn't black

BULLSHIT

Yes, it is.

>They didnt miss Deezy after a fucking month
poor Deezy.
you can text to just words. that's what he told us to do.

giggled at a few moments but its mainly responses from mike when he pronounces the words wrong
and thats about it

>cordovan shoes guy, why is his voice familiar to me?
It's Dave Willis.

Very few cartoons are drawn live. It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.

What has he been doing with her in that cave for the past month?

why oh why.

Dammit Mike

Deezy just can't catch a break

Her dying was so predictable.

This show has good ass plotwists lmao

Normal cave stuff.

Mike's delivery is fucking funny and that most of the humor.

Mike once again killed another person.

>She just runs around in lingerie everywhere.
God it's weird how I never recognize him and yet I always recognize him.

>Warden gave mike a gun with the safety off

FACTS

No, they didn't even give a number.

every time

the cave thing only just now happened

this is an abnormally predictable episode of mike tyson mysteries. I called basically everything. Usually this show takes me for a ride or three.

>>She just runs around in lingerie everywhere.
If you've got it, you can flaunt it

He sounds less enthusiastic this season. He must be getting tired of it.

They got me with the "going home half way through" thing, but you can tell the girl was gonna die.

I haven’t watched in a while, did they cut the live action Mike bit at the end of episodes?

>I made sure to put the thafety off, in cathe I needed it. I can never get that damn thing off when I gotta shoot thomebody. Then I'm just thittin there with my dick in my hand. That'th why I never use condoms.

yes no

He always sounds unenthusiastic. That's what makes his delivery so good.

being a literal joke, it doesnt suprise me

They still happen, but rarely.

holy shit nothing terrifies me as much as these "take a pill so you can have aids and still have gay sex" ads
these are real fucking people who didnt let catching aids turn them celibate.
it's less common but still hadplens
he mentioned in an earlier episode an in-universe excuse, I think he's probably just punch-drunk

They only do it for some episodes.

So I am suppose to be celibate after getting my ass taken by black man with aids in prison.

so is this the last episode now? yet another good show being burned off

>New tits
>Diamond tits

>Not going with the diamond tits

yeah dude, sorry.
if a guy fucks you in the vag, you preserve the life. if he fucks you in the ass you need to stop fucking. That's your lot in life. I'm not saying you need to kill yourself or go live on an island or anything, but keep your fluids to yourself forever.

With money like that, she doesn't need tits. Tits are just a tool for acquiring money anyhow.

what kind of trust fund waits for 21 instead of 18
also why is marquess uptight about the house? it's a mansion

It's a cult isn't it

It's just a big, fancy house, not a REAL mansion.

here is your money sir.

>scientology

aw fuck here we go

Oh my holy God.

uh, we wanted puerto rico to be a state. THEY didn't. because they'd have to do so much new expensive shit.. shit like having parachutes on your planes.

holy shit someone undressed yung

Yup.

Please let this hack die.

Yep

it's a fucking mansion to me. look at their kitchen. look at their living room.

wow Mike's line about KFC is the most enthusiastic he's sounded all season. all SERIES.

Uhh is this nigga in a cult ?

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Interplanetary Travel on DC-10s mind you.

I sure as shit don't want a state riddled with crime and majority of the population not speaking English.

I hope they don't sue Mike Tyson.

Not a cult, THE cult.

>Using the Bermuda Triangle as a way to trap people into your cult forever
Actually a pretty smart idea

>I like when Norm McDonald played you
kek

>Xenu
>also referred to as
>Xemu
i spit out my liquid drink beverage into my nutrition food

So, wait, how did they have ghost clothes for Marquess?

the idea is we could fix them and force regulations on them to get them up to speed, and charge them more taxes.

haha that reference to those shitty colonel commercials

Succ

Maybe everything he wears just eventually loses pigment?

What the fuck just happened.

THE MYSTERY!!

Little on the nose there, guys.

So who did it?

so you can say 'suck off L. Ron Hubbard' but whatever he said next gets bleeped

also just how much can an unladen swallow carry? and what would their airspeed be?

LOL! CHRISTIANITY IS JUST LIKE SCIENTOLOGY! AMIRIGHT? XD!

A bit too on the nose there.

Probably Marquess. Or Pigeon. He's gay now.

Anyone else want some KFC,I wanna try that cheetos thing.

roll my eyes
they just got done saying heaven is real. fuck, we met god earlier in this show.

>christianity
catholicism, user. we had a whole big thing about that. they were charging money for salvation.
Hell, when those televangelists were telling people if they were generous in donation god would bless them with more financial success, they got busted down for that.
Nevermind religion, America takes money very seriously.

That's the joke.
It sounds ludicrous despite, it existing in the show

AS has a limit to how many times they can say certain words uncensored in any given amount of time. For example, I know they can only say "shit" uncensored 3 times every 15 minutes.

I've heard they've gone severely downhill. I wanted to try that boneless breast, and the sandwich using those as the bun. but their prices shot up around when that came out, and locationwise they were nowhere to be found where i live, so

whoa, gotta keep that shitrate down. don't wanna exceed our bandwidth
sounds pretty normal to everyone who ever lived til recently

Asking for donations isn't the same as charging people to get in/stay.

Yeah, but the people who write this show are atheists and they gotta shove their religious ideology in.

KFC is okay. Famous Bowl is what I usually go for.

yeah they learned their lesson about that one. We're still not gonna change the label though.

I just want a Twister but I don't think they even make those anymore

>also just how much can an unladen swallow carry? and what would their airspeed be?

What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

I don't know that
WAAAUGHHHHH!

Mike's right. You should feel ashamed

>You'll never get to see Yung beat the shit out of someone the way Mike can.
>She won't get carried away and bite his ear.

mega friends help a vpn-less scrub out

I'm more interested in Yung fucking than fighting.

>never got around to watching last week's episodes
>watch them plus this week's back to back
>all these episodes end in death
It happens a lot but damn 3 episodes in a row ended with them killing someone? I was shocked Hubbard or the nun didnt meet a horrible end

Ive made my own meal with Flamin Hot Cheetos in a sandwich, the cheetos thing feels like what Ive done except with sauce so it feels like one of their biggest ripoffs