Part 2
Part 1
Storytime of Pain: Amazons Attack!
Landon Sullivan
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Christopher Peterson
Oh and we have to see this bit of absolute nonsense again
Camden White
Gavin Rodriguez
Jace Lopez
Tyler Campbell
>Hey Clark, why didn't you knock my mother unconcious with one punch and fly her away too?
>I don't know, Diana, why didn't you use your magic lasso that undoes brainwashing on your brainwashed mother?
Ayden Wilson
Gabriel Rivera
Brayden Nelson
Xavier Wright
This is almost like meta commentary, "remember what Wonder Woman was six months ago?"
Josiah Ramirez
Hudson Moore
Jackson Watson
Yea, I member
Evan Rogers
I swear no-one remembers what powers they have in this event.
Alexander Nelson
Apparently the Amazons were always bloodthirsty monsters just waiting for the chance to commit war crimes and murder civilians.
Grayson Hill
The Amazons have random binary as their PC wallpaper
Parker Cooper
Ryder Barnes
Hal's face is my face
Hunter Murphy
Brandon Parker
The only way this can be salvaged is a reveal that Ares made them all mad or something of this kind. Although even that can't fix the Superman bullshit (and also where's Flash?)
Wyatt Rivera
Juan Taylor
fucking looney tunes shit
Samuel Jackson
It's a gender binary
Joseph Jenkins
I think that Bart Allen had just died and Wally West hadn't returned yet.
Henry Rodriguez
If only
IDK where Flash is but this is all around when Countdown and Final Crisis lead-in shit were ramping up so he probably was doing some speed shit
Jose Cook
HA
Andrew Thomas
Robert Price
LMAO WHAT
Samuel Barnes
Blake Davis
Adam Collins
Ryder Jones
Joseph Jones
Joseph Rivera
Caleb Scott
Same writer man. He murdered that volume
>The same people that ran DC into the ground with these events have now been promoted to the highest ranks of the (sub) company
Ian Rivera
Zachary Jenkins
The fact they can't even get the name of the tribe right is making me angrier than it should
Also
>we're lacking our most powerful operatives
YOU HAVE SUPERMAN, AND SUPERGIRL, AND THEY DID NOTHING FOR 4 ISSUES
David Reed
Charles Hughes
Did Supergirl and Wonder Girl suffer any consequences for their stupid stunt? Like, did anyone try and arrest them?
Luke Hernandez
oh yeah i forgot this was where this was first revealed
Gavin Gonzalez
Nope because Final Crisis happened and everyone tried to forget this did
In fact they start trying to forget this event already in issue #6
Asher King
Isaiah Cruz
>you read Catwoman, right?
FUCK no
Chase Smith
>Welp, the crazy terrorist cult says that I'm related to them, I guess I'll join them
Samuel Brown
Jacob White
By this point, I think Catwoman had just revealed who the babby-daddy of her kid was.
And was in the process of getting rid of the kid. Sending baby Helena off to be adopted, and then abducting Zatanna to mindwipe all memories of the baby (because like Doctor Light and rape, that's all Zatanna is good for now)
Elijah Lee
You'd think they wouldn't work with Circe again considering how badly that went the last time
Nathaniel Collins
Jonathan Bell
Juan Scott
Superman has heat vision why didn't he just melt that shitty sword
Cameron Murphy
identity crisis was the biggest character fuck up of all the crisis's prove me wrong
Brandon Morris
Andrew Evans
Hunter Flores
How did this crazy bitch have time to draw a knife? If she didn't have it drawn beforehand, how did she tackle Grace with one arm?
Zachary Smith
The weird thing is that Circe died IN A TIE-IN, not in the main book, so people who were only reading this would be confused as fuck.
Kevin Kelly
Hey, the Egyptian Bana-Migdhall often wear face paint, right? Oh wait, no they fucking don't!
Lincoln Jones
that's an objective fact that can be proven mathematically
Gabriel Gutierrez
David Thompson
It's not tooootal bullshit, since African tribes did it, and passed it down to Voudon, and the Bana-Mighdall were a combination of different African and Middle-Eastern cultures... but it was all in middle and southern Africa where they absolutely did not live
Ryan Garcia
and not even an editor's note saying "check out issue X"
Caleb Moore
It bugs me that both these bitches and the Amazons seem to be all the same age and with the same body type
Isaac Diaz
how the fuck did they not do this the exact second this started
Asher Kelly
Brandon Martinez
Especially since the Bana-Mighdall are just regular ass mortal women so should all look different ages
Alexander Bell
Brody Hall
Really? These are the only heroes that bothered to show up despite the scale of the Amazon invasion?
Julian Evans
This hyperlinked garbage is a big part of why people don't want to read modern comics.
Gold/Silver Age stories were just as retarded as this, but they didn't require you to buy 30 issues from 6 different series to understand the plot.
Ayden Adams
Henry Sanders
Ayden Allen
>What's the next step of your master plan?
Nathaniel Diaz
You know what, at least Diana somehow made it out of this with her character intact without killing anyone
Nathan Collins
Aiden Hernandez
Jackson Brown
>Oh yeah, I remember now, I DON'T commit atrocities, sorry brah
William Gomez
>with her character intact
Diana was in full retard mode for the entirety of this run, what are you talking about?
Julian Bell
John Cox
that's uh some cameltoe
If you wanna know what she's talking about with Ares: it's complicated
Samuel Lopez
Yeah but EVERYONE acted retarded, so we can all just pretend this event never happened, whereas if she killed anyone we'd have to have pages posted from it for the rest of eternity to "prove" that she kills
Matthew Anderson
Evan Fisher
Camden Morales
this is the stupidest explanation ever and it actually gets even stupider
Jacob Russell
Jack Jones
Isaiah Perry
That's one of the shittiest plot devices that one can use. All of the previous events are rendered kind of meaningless when you introduce an all-powerful deity who "planned" it.
Cameron Thomas
I actually can kind of buy that a lot of the Amazons still have a latent distrust and fear of humanity that they pretend not to, and the idea that those latent fears can easily be manipulated into war is an old one.
But if Circe could so easily just cloud everyone's judgment to the point that they could do ALL THIS, why didn't she just do that years ago?
Also lol at "wow you guys are fucked up, I sent these people to slaughter your innocents, conquer your nation and genocide your species and you actually defended yourself with violence!!!!"
Julian Green
Ha! Batman BTFO! Those two panels are the only good part of this godawful event. Circe is really the only character who didn't get shat on.
Then again, she's a classical smarmy asshole supervillain, so you'd have to be a special kind of retarded to somehow fuck her up.
Hudson Rodriguez
Liam Morgan
>YOU ARE ALL EQUALLY AT FAULT. THE GENOCIDAL WAR CRIMINAL INVADERS WERE JUST AS BAD AS THE AMERICAN SOLDIERS DEFENDING THEIR HOMELAND
Her only valid point is that the President was way out of line with the whole "let's imprison all women who've been to women's shelters" thing.
Aaron Gutierrez
And if you thought that explanation was completely stupid, just wait
It's almost as if someone actually said, after reading that page, "wow that's completely stupid, but that was the message this whole thing was predicated on, so we have to do it, so let's just figure out how we can instantly retcon it"
Owen Ramirez
Jaxson Russell
That's right, this whole thing was ACTUALLY just a setup for Final Crisis, where Granny Goodness turned the Amazons into her new Furies!!!
Jace Gutierrez
IT WAS THE SKRULLS, I KNEW IT
Owen Ward
obligatory:
Juan Stewart
One more.
I don't think I've ever seen a story where the ending was so stupid they actually had to include a second ending explaining that the first one was stupid on purpose.
Michael Ross
Colton Nguyen
>That's right, this whole thing was ACTUALLY just a setup for Countdown to Final Crisis
Fix'd. Morrison ignored all this.
Brayden Brooks
OH GOD WHAT
THIS IS EITHER THE BEST OR THE WORST TWIST I'VE EVER SEEN
Isaiah Rivera
>You've been warned!
That has to be cheeky
Matthew Gonzalez
>And some became so caught up in battle strategy that you worried only how to fight instead of how not to
I don't get it, what was Batman supposed to have done differently? He didn't start the fight, the war criminals did.
Isaiah Peterson
Tyler Walker
Liam King
Zachary Diaz
This was Didio trying to do another Countdown to Infinite Crisis type deal and build up to the event comic, but the editorial people who did the heavy lifting for that had all left DC because of him. And it pretty much became clusterfuck.
Wyatt Wood
Parker White
... This page. Every time I see this page, I am rendered speechless with what I can only describe as aggressive apathy. Fuck comic books.
Jonathan Morales
I don't even hate Didio really, but like... it's just impossible to ever defend him when he has Countdown on his record and actually literally took credit for every aspect of it, proudly.
Brayden Ross
Jacob Walker
William Davis
Charles James
Lucas Brown
>What gave me away?
Maybe the fact that you literally got sent to hell by a shiny golden goddess
Dylan White
Lucas Rogers
Ayden Martin
Uh... wait a minute... Granny Goodness has the chops to take down the Greek Gods? All of them?
Hudson Butler
Carter Barnes
Thomas Ramirez
to be fair, its not like anyone can talk back to the entity that just vanished an entire island and its people away.
and the plan does make sense to a degree, GG was just acting as a strict goddess, no one would have noticed, and everyone with half a brain knows that the Greek gods are dicks by default, no one would notice the plot.
Tyler Edwards
Jason Campbell
The greek gods bailed around the end of Rucka's run a year before.
This writer was unaware of this.
Evan Gutierrez
Man do I miss her using this
I don't think she even has it in the LEGO games anymore since they replaced all her moves with Taskmaster's sword and shield animations
Levi Clark
That's a good point about the gods always being stupid pricks who teach people "lessons" by ruining their lives
At the same time it was pretty obvious that that was legitimately the "moral" this story was supposed to be heavy handedly preaching from the start
Daniel Cooper
Bentley Ortiz
Ryan Russell
silly texas user, whips are for pussys, real warriors use swords
Brody Gray
There's actually one more dealing with resolving Diana's mommy issues she developed in this story, should we read it?
Jaxson Hall
I always thought Nemesis was a bit of a dick, even when he was being "honorable" back in Ostrander's SS
Leo Martinez
I agree, it's one of those times where you're obviously supposed to find him roguishly charming but he comes off as a douchebag.
He gets a little better in Simone's run and I always liked how she handled their relationship in that.
Grayson Thompson
Doesn't Everyman have to eat something to copycat it? Has he been going through Silver Swan's trash?
Jason Gray
You call that a cameltoe?
THIS is a cameltoe!
Oliver Gonzalez
...
Juan Thompson
HOLY CRAP! ITS BRITNEY SPEARS
Nolan Garcia
lol
Camden Baker
You know, despite it’s many flaws I will credit the current Justice League Dark run with one amazingly simple concept which explains everything: The confusing, vaguely antagonistic mess that is Circe’s various motivations makes perfect sense if you assume she’s mostly just an immortal sorceress who long ago got over all the pitfalls people like Zatanna suffer, is now pretty much untouchable and is just fucking around cosplaying as a supervillain to kill time.
Gavin Ward
That is not right, dude.
Justin Russell
Because the editor was unaware of this. After Infinite Crisis almost all the books switched editors and it left everything a mess. Nobody knew anything. Any sort of coordination went out the window. And editors just plain quit or defected to Marvel over how badly everything was run.
Jaxson Gray
Christ imagine if this was the twist of Heroes in Crisis.
>Wally unzips his meatsuit to reveal he was GRANNY GOODNESS OF APOKALIPS all along
Easton Nguyen
At least it wasn't as bad as the live action Plasticman.
Oliver Cruz
No joke, it would have saved that comic.
Austin Lee
I...I was trying to make HiC worse somehow but shit I can't even deny Apokalips being behind everything would explain A LOT.