Was he really an an abusive parent?

The more important question: did he wear the hat to cover up premature balding?

Did he abusive Dave so much that he would get Knight of Time as his classpect?

Yeah. He looks like Dr. Wily under there.

He was shitty, but I wouldn't call all of it abuse

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Nothing was better post Act 5, fuck you

He did nothing wrong.

Oh great, what did they do?

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Commentaries confirm he is an abuser.
Grandpa Harley is a fucking idiot
Mom Lalonde and even the Dog Bec were assholes, too.

Bro rigged booby traps around the house and fought Dave over the Sburb beta. Seemed pretty obvious that he was abusive.

>Commentaries confirm he is an abuser.
I mean considering he lived in an apartment with no working fridge and constantly sword fought/trained Dave that's accurate albeit in dave's best interest
>Grandpa Harley is a fucking idiot
Pretty obvious when you get to know Jake, also the whole hunting butterfly with a gun
>Mom Lalonde and even the Dog Bec were assholes, too.
Mom was a train wreck barely functioning alcoholic
and bec knots jade's asshole so that's close enough to make him an asshole

Maybe.

Depends on your defintion of abusive. He seems to have believed he was doing the right thing, at least.

>He seems to have believed he was doing the right thing, at least.
Yeah but that doesn't make it not abusive misguided abuse is still abuse

So basically Dad Egbert is the only good parent?

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He was a shitty parent that was probably affected by demonic dummy.

>So basically Dad Egbert is the only good parent?
Yeah but that was easily apparent in the story

I think they all tried to be good parents, it's just that Dad was the only one who wasn't a clone (or a dog) Bro might have been abusive, but with good intentions.

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>it was all good until hussie decided to take what bro did seriously
You are aware that taking some stupid random shit and make it serious has been the whole shtick of Homestuck since the beginning, right? Why do people keep bringing that as an argument?

Here is something to think about:

Bro Strider still manipulated Grandpa Harley.

>and even the Dog Bec were assholes,
How so? He was Good Dog Best Friend!

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The Epilogues were pretty good. It showed how fucked up Dirk becomes when he realizes he can puppeteer others. Unlike John, Dirk/Bro is an absolute obsessive and desperate control freak who wants "happy endings".

>How so? He was Good Dog Best Friend!
See the spoiler He knotted jade's ass so often it made him a an asshole by being in it so much

I am 85% certain that wasn't part of the commentaries.

Fetish shit aside, he could just teleport Jade to civilization or to her friends.

Also check out the troll main characters for Hiveswap. Cridea and Fiamet still exist.

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I guess you know what they say you are what you eat

homestuck was never serious until kids started vomiting out words on the lilypad

>homestuck was never serious
Yes it was. It made a supid joke and then turned it into an actual plot point.

>vomiting out words on the lilypad
The convos there were one of the few good things post-game over.

>he could just teleport Jade to civilization or to her friends.
He is just a dog. His instincts are about protecting his house and family. Don't ask him to think outside the box. given the circumstances, he did his best raising a human toddler on his own. And it's not like Jade needed to move out of the Island, anyway.

From a reader's perspective, the abuse Dave went through (and Bro's status as abusive) is about as serious as the abuse Tavros and Jake went through, or the neglect John and Rose went through. Which is to say, either not serious at all or very serious, depending on how you look at it.
From the comic's perspective, obviously, only Dave's abuse is serious (and only Bro gets called out as abusive). The other characters' abuse exists for the sake of dark/slapstick humor and is never acknowledged otherwise. Par for the course here, really. As for why, it's either another bit of trolling from Hussie, or another ghostwriter inserting fanfic into canon when given the chance but with jarring and tone deaf results this time. Hard to say which.

>the neglect John
What neglect?

No he knew sburb was happening and gave dave the skills he needed to survive

>The other characters' abuse exists for the sake of dark/slapstick humor
That's not true. Other's character's issues are as real.

My bad, I meant to put John under "physical violence at home" for the whole... you know, "coming at your dad with a hammer" bit. Which is, like the rest, either totally humorous or actually fucked up if you look closer.

In the comic, user. I'm talking about framing and emphasis. Vriska abused Tavros and that abuse is real from a reader's perspective, but there is not a single panel of Tavros explaining how Vriska's abuse fucked him up, see what I mean.

>Vriska abused Tavros
It's only abuse if they don't deserve it and Tavros clearly deserved what he got hell it didn't go far enough

This. Homestuck was never consistent with its tone or how it handled the different characters of the comic.

Vriska is such a savior, she broke Tavros so he won't become a complete Breathchad and make Karkat irrelevant as fuck with his terrible aspect.

>Tavros so he won't become a complete Breathchad
He never had a chance to be a chad in all of paradox space tavros is always a weenie

The other kids were trained in combat too, but they weren't beaten on or made paranoid about being attacked or being featured in a puppet snuff film wherever thy go in their home

Yeah John sure was trained oh wow he knows to throw a pie at sburb good job dad egbert

And jade and john died the first time round
And rose is just naturally badass

I got the impression that with Dad, like Mom and Bec, strife sessions were a regular thing and John knew he couldn't actually hurt Dad with his puny hammer. But unlike Bro, none of them hit the kids back.

Clearly dad taught john the value of slapstick comedy

He fought imps probably the most out of all the kids

Personally I never understand the extent of way this was overblown. It would be one thing if Dave realized Bro was kind of an asshole but admired him and was grateful for his training. However in the comic were supposed to believe Bro was an absolute monster who Dave feared the wrath of. Despite the fact that everything Dave said, about hating fighting, Lohac, and metal, could be contradicted in the early acts of Homestuck. He was angry when he found Bro's body. He wanted to avenge his death until Terezi talked him down. He thought his plane quote "kicks ass" and if he hated metal sounds why would he apply a sword as a strife specibus. And the whole refrigerator thing was fucking stupid, because he'd be fucking dead if he didn't have any food in the house, and I refuse to believe he never left the house.

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Only homophobes think it was abuse, because they can't stand gays raising kids so they call the only gay parent in this abusive

>Bro is about abusive.
>But Rose's mom wasn't.
Explain this.

>>But Rose's mom wasn't.
Rose's mom was though she was a raging alcoholic

Hussie was right

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Homestuck was claimed by a group of people who represented what the fandom turned into rather than anything it personified during the first 3-4 acts. Its really disgusting, but Hussie had barely anything to do with the comic by the time these fuckers got their ghost writing jobs and he just wanted the damn thing to be over.

Right, but she isn't portrayed as being abusive in Rose's conversations with Roxy like Bro is in Dave's talk with Dirk.

Abusive yes, if we're applying real-world logic to fictional characters
Narratively speaking, Dave being a pansy bitch means Doomed Timelines for everybody. You gotta make the tough timeline decisions and not live in Candy, and sometimes tough love is the only way to toughen someone up.
THE GAMES WILL NEVER STOP

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That's because Rose has mommy issues and isn't smart enough to realize her abuse and just internalized it into a need to fuck her mom or other moms in the case of her and kanaya truly she is just a dumb bitch who didn't even realize her abuse

Let's face it. Dirk will go on a life journey of becoming Straight

no Dirk will become dirksexual and mold Jake into becoming Dirk

Yeah, I personally like to believe Homestuck ended at Cascade because that was when the characters last felt like themselves, instead of the ooc husks they became.

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Tell that to Obama

Also what was with the weird fixation on him being a robot? In the early acts you'd think he'd be the most bombastic person, but we're supposed to believe he's an unemotional Terminator. He cut a fucking meteor in half!

That's why he is the Prince of Heart, user.

Destroys your fucking soul until you become his puppet.

I'm not talking about fucking Dirk. I'm talking about Bro. Dirk being an unemotional fag was the worst aspect of his character.

Hussie decided he should be stoic but went too far and made him autistic.

There is a world of difference between retroactive embellishment and rerouting characterization utterly halfway through a story. Nobody cares if the writer uses a random line to build a story about how the Borg knew Federation secrets all along. They care when you change Picard from a wise but flawed commander to John McClane.

Anyone who even implies Mom was a bad/malicious person doesn't understand other human beings. She is the essence of every successful, depressed single mother. She desperately wants to relate to and bring joy into the life of a girl she loves so dearly that she feels unworthy of and unequipped to raise due to inrense self-loathing. How self-centeted could you possibly be to reach adulthood snd not understand these things? Hussie's ghost writers are awful people.

user, even Bro is a fucking Prince of Heart.

As confirmed by the commentaries.

user she's an alcoholic who engages in passive aggressive wars with her daughter.

Don't forget how Hussie literally retconned key personality traits from characters.

The commentaries are written by a guy who hasn't felt love for his work in years. He constantly shits on what made his story good and acts like Homestuck was all about meta shit when that used to be a small part of what made it great.

Being a bad parent/flawed person doesn't mean you're malicious, or necessarily even a bad person. Both intent and action matter. Mom was a goddamn mess, but that mostly remained within the bubble of herself. The initial guardians are all examples of absentee parents/meglect coming from people with positive intentions. A dad who engages in what he thinks his son loves and has high expectations but is quiet and doesn't really explain himself, a mother who spares no expense and lavishes her daughter in unearned gifts and praise while dulling her misery with alcohol, a big brother who does all he can to inspire his little brother and make him feel "cool" without considering his other needs, a grandfather who outright fucking died doing what he lived, unintentionally leaving his granddaughter without a source of comfort and guidance.

Grandpa aside, the guardians all try their best to give happiness to the clearly depressed children and give them soace, allowing them to continue fostering self-destructive habits and reinforcing their feeling of isolation.

>Mom's shit
>Passive aggressive
>Taking Rose's psychoanalysis at face value
You are literally as stupid as a pretentious 13 year old

>engages in passive aggressive wars with her daughter
But that's not true at all, Rose was just convinced her mom didn't love her and saw what she wanted to see.

Who is ready to see Bro shat on even more in the commentaries once Book 5 comes out?

I would rather wish he shits on Karkat instead of whitewashing him.

I fucking hate everything about this

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You don't think Hussie shits on Karkat enough?

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The real world prior to act 6 was written to be based on video game logic. Sylladexes are literally a consumer product, characters are able to see the entire "sceen" they are in from the same angle as the viewer, and SBURB affecting the real world is only a slight surprise.
In this sort of world, Bro raising Dave to be a Puppeteer Ninja Master makes sense, and is not any more abusive than Dad throwing cakes at John to turn him into a Clown Master.

From act 6, the world is suddenly supposed to be "realistic". Beyond the literal game mechanic stuff like sylladexes being basically ignored, the whole alien conquest of earth is treated seriously and grimdarkly. Instead of a wacky situation, Roxy and Dirk are angsty warriors refugees from a war against the Empress. There are still jokes, but they are played to contrast the grim reality, while the jokes in the earlier story played along with the crazy game logic.

Now, when viewing the story from a realistic perspective, Bro is an abusive guardian, because anyone who does the things he did in real life would be sent to jail, and his children taken by CPS.

Hussie probably views it as a deconstruction, but it isn't. It's just a radical tone shift, and of course different actions seem different in different tones. It becomes doubly stupid when you realize that, by this logic, Dad, Mom, and Grandpa would also be considered abusive, perhaps even more than Bro, but Hussie decided to only focus on him for no real reason.

The ironic part about this was that in the books, Hussie said Karezi would be expected and boring so that's why he cut it. But then he does this shit.

I completely agree, and adding on to that Jade in a realistic situation would've been a feral girl who would have been dumb as a brick. The tonal shift is something I can't wrap my head around to this day because it doesn't make sense in any way.

What I hated was how Hussie wants you to believe he planned this from the start, when everyone knows damn well he didn't. He used to fucking say Bro was cool

Hussie was trying to push that angle since act 3. I'll agree its dumb though.

He got butthurt over people thinking Bro was supposed to be a Kamina reference.

Hussie seems to be part of the school of thought of "unexpected = entertaining"

More like "unexpected = good".

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Technically not, Jade was raised by the White Queen while sleeping.

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PBS told him he was the next James Joyce so he got into his head that deconstructionism and metatext is what he should do, when he's good at neither.

I'm also sick of this subversive shit, find another way to give your stories depth you hacks.

Yeah, what a shame it was never fully acknowleged by the story to begin with!

Feral Jade would be hot

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No.

Also why is this thread still up.

He kept throwing away any food Dave would buy so he could stockpile more weapons. He constantly dumped sex puppets on Dave and beat the crap out of him. Just because it's funny doesn't mean it's also not objectively a fucked up environment to grow up in.

What's that? The story shits on Jade because Hussie is terrible? What a revelation!

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Why Granpa Jake seems so much more succesfull and capable than our Jake

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Because Bro Strider manipulated him.

Because we only see him post-mortem from Jade's perspective. He's still a barely functional retard, it's just that he's away from people who would use him for his body.

Epilogue Jake is super successful and has fucked his way across the world. It's just that Jane uses him as breeding stock now.

Are all you dumbasses ignoring that when we first saw Dave's apartment we saw that he feels unsafe and afraid in his own home and that's not indicated to be an irregular occurence?

You guys are seeing a dichotomy that doesn't actually exist, just because Bro is abusive doesn't mean the depiction of that abuse can't still be funny to read and watch.

Didn't he have lil Cal fucking with his head his whole life?

You're preaching to the choir dude, I completely stopped watching a lot of shows because they kept doing shitty "subversive" writing. Hey writers! Completely dropping a story thread or arc isn't subversive, it's just you being a hack!

TOXIC

MASCULINITY.

The issue people have is Bro is the only one that's treated that way. Even in the epilogues Dave whines like somehow he's the only kid that got dealt a bad hand, because Homestuck became the Dave Strider Angst Hour.

Where did he throw away Dave's food?

I'm pretty sure they don't talk about that, just that Dave ate like crap his whole life.

God everything post retcon was so fucking awful.

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>oh bloo bloo my life was hard
>he says, next to Jade who was alone her entire life and deprived of human contact for no reason, and Karkat, who spent his life in constant fear of being violently murdered if he ever revealed his blood color

He wasnt abusive until Dave said he was for muh feelings

the worst part about all of it is that it's clear Hussie can still write, but won't.

They just need to hug it out

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Why is this phrase so misused. Dave by the terms definition didn't have any of the problems in Acts 1-5. He respected Jade and Rose as his equals, he expressed emotion, he talks about how he loves his friends, he doesn't get into pointless fights, he fucking dies with Rose so she won't be alone. He was witty and John's best friend who wrote him an emotional letter to convince him to 'reconsider' his decision to go through the gate. Just why?

I'm pretty sure the epilogue kind of indicated that the way they grew up kind of irrevocably fucked up Jade and Dirk and their flawed attempts to deal with that childhood isolation is what's behind a lot of the stuff they do in the epilogues.

Kinda Simlish but cute.

Act 1-5 Dave was stoic but clearly cared about his friends, Act 6+ Dave was an asshole who acted emotional but doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself ultimately.

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Yeah but Dave's the one who wallows in self-pity to the point of egotism. Fuck him.

I wouldn't personally take the epilogues seriously since they're basically a middle finger to everyone who still cares about Homestuck.

No user you don't understand, he used the word gay as a joke once

That's because fundamentally speaking, Dave Strider is a fucking weenie. He doesn't actually understand politics at all despite never talking about them, never confronts Jade, almost never makes a move on Karkat, and the first thing he does after becoming Ultimate Dave is ditch his wife and all his friends without saying goodbye despite literally being a time traveller.

I couldn't disagree more. If anything a lot of people didn't actually care about Homestuck but the version they built up in their own head, and the epilogues were a wake up call. Personally, I had a blast.

Yeah, he was a coward, but a long time ago he was a coward that got shit done. Game Over Dave had a more complete and poignant arc than the living Dave ever did.

Maybe it says something about Hussie that Dave, his original self insert, turned into a whiny asshole that avoids responsibility.

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Innversion Theory confirmed

The version they built up in their head was a gay angsty slow burn piece of shit, if every fanfic on AO3 is any indication. And, surprise, that's what the epilogues were.

While creating a new Self Insert whose has no real flaws and everyone loves him (Dirk)

Dirk has flaws, but he's also a boring villain. Doc Scratch still remains the best.

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His flaws are basically that he is such a genius and so cool that he can't connect `with the other lowly people

what does it mean

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Breath and Time are the best

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Bitch please, Hussie can't even decide what Homestuck is
>It's a coming of age story he says! Except nobody grows or learns anything and end up less mature and worse emotionally than they started
>It's a creation myth! Except all those elements are abandoned for inane drama
>It's a hypertext story about stories and the internet! Except none of these elements exist for the first 75% of the comic

And nobody cares that the times he did use gay, was to outtroll the trolls right?

But he is rich and apparently a mechanical genius

>>It's a hypertext story about stories and the internet! Except none of these elements exist for the first 75% of the comic
They also end up having no real impact or point. It's just cool HTML magic.

No see it's toxic because heroism and sword fighting is manly and bad, nevermind all the times he used it to protect his friends, it's toxic because he thought jade needed company and protection and that's misogynistic, nevermind that Jade is now established to be horribly lonely and desperately wants someone to be there for her.
Hussie can't even decide his own damn story.

Is dave trans?

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Void is best. I like spying on people.

The cool HTML magic was the fun stuff. That was the original point PBS made about comparing his work to Ulysses. It was originally a story that a) was intentionally obtuse but rewarded readers for sticking with it and b) took full advantage of the medium it was in.

Hussie took this to mean "Wow, cool hypertext" and ran it into the ground, because as it turns out he's kind of a massive hack.

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If the Epilogue came out in 2015
Now he'll be NB or something

If he was trans he and Jade would have had a baby in the epilogue

John and Aradia are best

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Yes, dave is a proud FTM transman

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Maybe she's only into anal

Jesus fucking christ let homestuck die

Jade was desperate for a baby in the epilogue, no way she wouldn't have filled that Striderpuss with puppyjuice.

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I cant believe John got to nail this.

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MY FUCKING SIDES

ODS FUCKING THEORY SHUT DOWN WITH THIS FUCKING DESCRIPTION
>all Hope players at their worst are selfish fuckers

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Where did Dave slept again? Oh right in his own room, in his own bed.

Where did Bro sletp again? Oh right, in the fucking couch

Don't forget Davesprite's whole existence was because Dave wanted to save his friends from a doomed session. And when Dave reunited with dream Rose they had a cute dance party. Why is heroism, one the fucking themes of Homestuck spat on in Act 6?

dave has a Dick

John fucks Seers, why are you so surprised?

>His flaws are basically that he is such a genius and so cool that he can't connect `with the other lowly people

Non-horse loving people are a mystery to me.

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Its hard.

Its hard being a time player and nobody understands

Can you prove it?

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Honestly the thing he was good at was taking things like subcultures and weaving a story around it. Godtiers, subjuggalaters, the hemospectrum, he was very creative and with consistent and varied character writing is part of what made Homestuck popular. Then Act 6 hits and it's like it never existed.

Good luck telling that to nuHomestuck fans.

Plenty of them do, Dave needs to go to therapy.

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Fuck off I'm FTM it looks bad claiming cis characters as trans you fucking retard

Kanaya Is The Best Human Kid In Homestuck

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Sure is fucking fun jumping around time fixing other people's shit with time loops bullshit while everyone is in blissfull ignorance and dont thank you later.

Aradia and Dave had it hard. Also for a Lord of Time Caliborn sure sucks at understanding time

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As soon Rose tool rein over Kanaya she stopped being relevant, she stopped talking to other people that wasnt Rose, she stopped having screen time

She was so more fucking interesting before rose got to the meteor

Except Dave refuses to time travel, not even to DP Jade. He's a bitch.

Why does Hussie shit on Jake. Jake was upfront and confronted Jane and when she denied him he tried dating Dirk. He wasn't happy and was thinking about breaking up with Dirk, then the trickster bullshit happened then Dirk broke up with him and the story pins Jake as being in the wrong. And then he get sexually harassed by his closest friends and then called useless by an unjustly revived Vriska. What the fuck?

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>actually linking Active and Passive to people who are selfish or not

I agree, and worse their entire relationship revolves around how drunk Rose was instead of coming together as characters.

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So they don't care she has an animal's penis?

anyone remember when Nepeta was important?

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Or that she actively talked about wanting kids and that she's pretty miserable in the first place.

that's disgusting here is a better waifu for john

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No, because it dabs on the straighties and that's what really matters.

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There's nothing disgusting about Rose getting chubby from having a happy life with her husband John, the baker.

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>Also for a Lord of Time Caliborn sure sucks at understanding time
I don't think he needs to understand it. His plan to become LE succeeds even if he doesn't plan everything. Or even if something goes they way it shouldn't have, it will still SERVE his needs, no matter what. Time will alway be on his side. I guess this is one way of interpreting Lords, that is being served by their aspects, and Muses serving their aspects.

>He's a bitch.
Wait what really? The only thing that he's good for and he won't even do that? Who fucking needs Dave then?

I fixed homestuck

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yep

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>Who fucking needs Dave then?
Nobody but Jade wants him, and Jade gets deserves anything she wants. He should feel lucky that he's even wanted by someone so high above him.

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It's the entire plot of askcr33pernepeta

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Ironically, wouldn't that mean that Lords are passive, and that Muses are active? I dunno man, classpects are bullshit.

>Davepeta lands in Candy Earth, fucks Karkat and Jade since the "real" Dave fucked off.

The gif was just a pun on her last name and how it's said

Lol didn't Davepeta eat shit and die

>He should feel lucky that he's even wanted by someone so high above him.

I hope you meant that in a 'troll AU headcanon' way; and not in a racist way where Dave is black or some shit.

I meant more that Jade is better than him, he's punching well above his weight class when he married that doggod.

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Well now that you gave me the idea user...

Honestly we can all go on about how Hussie and his compatriots ruined Homestuck after Cascade, but it doesn't change what happened. It will never be fixed and now an inferior webcomic is all that remains. Future fans will see all the shit in the comic and won't have any understanding of the injokes or access to the forums.

If Dave is gay why did he hate being fucked by Jade's dick

>I dunno man, classpects are bullshit.
I'm inclined to agree, but at the same time I can't fully give into this; because Hussie did leave enough breadcrumbs of information around, to make it LOOK like there's a complex system in there, that is just waiting to be figured out. But not enough to actually build something cohesive, where every aspect can be clearly explained. And that's what really fucks me off.

>Oh look at that. 12 nonstandard RPG classes, with 12 variable aspects, each with their own color schemes, powers and narrative themes. This sure is a cool ass system.
>I bet all those autistic tumblroids will figure out how the fuck this shit supposed to work, cus I sure as shit won't
>What? I've done most of the legwork anyway. Copypasting the same motive (breath, hope, life) into 3 aspects was really hard!

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Rose is a cuck

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I honestly think it was to make Jane and Roxy look better by comparison, which was weird because Jane barely had any personality and Roxy was an annoying drunk. To be honest all of Alpha kids suck

Hussie treated all the girls like shit in the end.

I think Vriska is what tipped the scales. A lot of people didn't get the point that she's allegorical because SHE KILLED PEOPLE...in a society where murder is commonplace and necessary. So fuck it, everythong is literal from now on.

I just wanted it to be better, man.

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Fuck Vriska though

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Why was nothing in Homestuck as awesome as this?

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I will draw porn/lewd of any HS characters just hmu

Prove it, draw Jade getting happily sexed then.

I'd say mainly the Prospit ones though. I didn't even like Jade and Jane that much, and even I thought they got the short ends of the stick.

Duh. But the point is she's that socially retarded teenage girl who keeps doing awful shit. Maybe one day she'll get her shit together, maybe not, but she has a reason she's like that...but in a game, her death is "just" even though it's anything but.

People couldn't wrap their heads around this and the comic subsequently dropped everything that wasn't direct and literal or telling the audience to fuck itself.

Aradia and John

Roxy ended up like, some weird accessory.

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Chin up user, we still have the memories of the good times.

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Sentry Worm.
But in all seriousness, just some happy loving Roxy or Kanaya, please.

at this point I'm just here for the rare bit of fluffy ship art.

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John and Vriska, if you don't mind.

They dragged LE into a black hole. Schrodinger's Nepeta is still alive and well.

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Look at this Vriska

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Its SFW but I drew wholesome Kanaya/Rose a while back

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Give us a Jade, she deserved better.

draw meowrails please :33

Honestly, thanks. It's cute.

By who?

Dave, her go-to choice for a happy dicking.

>a grandfather died doing what he loved
Getting shot by babies with the help of an alien weenie is what he loved, huh?

You mean five Daves. Two for her wholes, the other three to pet her and tell her she's a worthwhile person.

Can we stop the fuckin 'Blood = Weak Weenie' shit?

Imagine what a Prince of Blood could do. They would destroy all relationships and ties within his group WITH the aforementioned ties. You thought you'd even get a chance at actually playing the game? Fuck that, bad morale fucks you all.

So what did Homestuck's failures teach us today anons?

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Why is dad the only good guardian?

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Yes? Are you implying I'm wrong?
Honestly surprised it took that long.

Don't date your fans.

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At least we can learn from Hussies mistakes.

Draw Jade getting bellyrubs, can be cute or lewd or both

>dude relationships lmao
Sounds like weak weenie shit. Even fucking John could do wind attacks.

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That cats and horses belong together.

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We've had lewd headpats but not really lewd bellyrubs

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HB skullfucking Dirk

Wait I only read up to Descend was he Dave's dad or some shit

Why did you think the beta trolls almost offed themselves on the meteor? How do you think Karkat managed to literally push all these fuckers together through the entirety of SGRUB?

You can not win even any session alone. (unless you're LORD of Time) And with every group comes grievances and social issues. It's not Karkat's fault Hussie didn't actually SHOW most of what he had done, but it's still important. Every part is important.

Honestly for all the shit I talk about Homestuck, it was a very entertaining part of my life. Going to conventions and checking out all the fanart was cool. Even though the magic disappeared in Act 6 and beyond, I'll always hold those first five acts in my heart.

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Seriously, why'd you stop there?

he is Dave's biological father.

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Read the comic, dawg. At least up till the end of Act 5. Also, yeah, he is.

You do realise that the only response you're going to get is them calling you a weenie, right?

Dave really should have been a dad, why is Hussie afraid of responsibility?

Should I stop getting physical books once all Act 5 gets done? Or still get them just to document the spiral insanity of an author on what he has left to commentate of his work?

Hussie can't even make a game, you can't expect his self-insert to make a baby

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>Why did you think the beta trolls almost offed themselves on the meteor?
Prince of Hope and Bard of Rage are still alive and not fucking dead

>How do you think Karkat managed to literally push all these fuckers together through the entirety of SGRUB?
Doomed Aradiabots ensuring he won't fuck up

Face it, Karkat is fucking unimportant and only exists for fujobait.

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This, almost. "Claimed"... Well, you could say the comic was "taken" and ruined by an "inner circle" clique that wormed its way to Hussie and tried to make their headcanons real (special mention goes to our very own dildo-sending IPGD, and to Shelby with... whatever she pulled with Toby Fox).

But no. In the end Hussie was always totally responsible for the people he decided to hand full control to. He's a grown-ass man and can make decisions himself. Even if his inner circle had been 99% sensible people and one insufferable tumblr fujo, he'd have handed said fujo the reins for shit 'n giggles. Because of course he would have, dude has always been a huge internet troll (see the Team Special Olympics/Penny Arcade days.)

Karkat is probably the one who gets shit on the most on Act 6, because all of his accomplishments are retconned out. He lead his entire team through sgrub and would've fucking won if not for the Jack bullshit. He wasn't invincible, he relied on Kanaya for input and he had his own thing about his blood color. However he was a capable fighter on his own and didn't let his insecurities control his life. He cared about his friends even if they annoyed him sometimes. He wanted to fucking kill Eridan after he killed Feferi and Kanaya. However in Act 6 all of that is dropped to push some narrative about him "being okay with being uncool and useless". So we can count ambition as another thing Hussie says sucks now.

Somebody needs to do it.

I know and that's fine. I just want to get my thoughts out of my head. I guess because I want the past decade to mean something.

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Well you can keep getting them if you want, but just don't expect anything sincere from Hussie's commentary, because it's most likely filled with whatever social commentary of the week he's obsessed with.

Jade getting railed like so

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Y'know, it's rare that an artist gets characterization right. A lot of the time it feels like they're just drawing the visual character, and lacking on the personality behind the clothing or magic or whatever the fuck. But man, Breedingduties fucking NAILS them, every time.
The difference in quality because of that is staggering.

Thanks. I try.

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this

Descend was great but I saw how long the comic was afer that moment (wasn't finished at the time but 5+6 were longer than everything I'd read so far) combined with people at the time saying Descend was as good as it got and delays plaguing the fanbase, I didn't care enough to g farther

>Prince of Hope and Bard of Rage
Both of these classes are extremely dangerous and destructive, but neither of them does anything for team cohesion, in fact they actively work against it, if you think about it.
>Doomed Aradiabots ensuring he won't fuck up
Even Aradiabot needed some calming down, probably, what with Vriska you know. Existing. Living.

>only exists for fujobait.
That is unfortunately true. Mostly because of thisIt seems like nobody can escape their fate. Knights support their team, but that's about it.

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Ambition lead to his 2.5m kickstarter, he probably regrets it.

>even Aradiabot needed some calming down
She already did by killing Karkats and Vriskas in her free time

>Guy Feferi

Aww, hey, neat, it's you! I just dropped a thing in your askbox because it reminded me I should, but I guess doing it here works.

You're fuckin' awesome, man.

katnep user are you here?

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Yeah, I'm just working through my SFW requestbox and all the old stuff I had planned now.

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Nah, I agree with you, one underlooked detail I really like about Karkat was that he was really good at seeing through people's bullshit and pretty accurately assessing them, like he did with Vriska early on in Act 5. It's a right shame how he was treated later on.

This is as far as i got. I have surprise company so my plan of drawing porn all evening is gone. Ill finish this and the others later and post them on my twitter, MonsterSquish. Sorry I couldnt finish sooner :(

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he indeed got fucked

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As long as Jade gets railed it's all good user, nice work

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That's kinda why I mainly look for Asian artists because they put a lot more expressiveness in their art.

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Im a dumbass and posted the uncensored one

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It's great, thanks.
But you probably shouldn't post NSFW on a SFW board.

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>he
Has the bite to back up that bark, unlike Karkat
Does good for the sake of doing good, unlike Vriska
Is fun and goofy without turning psycho murder, unlike Gamzee
Has maximum mangrit

>she
Is smart but not obnoxiously so, unlike rose
Seeks justice for the sake of justice, unlike vriska
Will keep life interesting by being a foil, unlike Roxy
Is not a dude or secretly wants to be a dude.

Is this the only good thing Hussie has done with homestuck?

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Rose and John are getting married

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It's shit and you're over-romanticizing it. It'll probably get retconned too.
>inb4 it's over
>implying the ride ever ends

>Terezi goes back to Vriska
LOL

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it's not by hussie and it's worse than you could imagine. thread related.

I don't trust Hussie anymore. I'd be fine with other authors, but ones who are proven quantities and not shit like Cohen or piggy

Why would Rose wear the suit, she's the most feminine of the cast.

because she has the pants in the relationship

Nepetastuck or bust

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eating the hammers was pretty good, user

Lol remember when self insert Calliope cucked John and the Alpha kids from having any meaningful development.

Remember when this was relevant

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Remember how she gave Jade a dick.

No no, ROXY is Trans now.
Dave is just gay and also a robot.

I mean
Slutty Jade IS funny.

It's sad, because it's born out of her desperately wanting a home and someone to love her.

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=QKfP9N28buk
m.youtube.com/watch?v=-19Up0dLzNw
Best things that came out of the Homestuck fandom.

based

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Are there any active HS chatrooms that arent RP or full of kids?

>Equius lives on through LE via ARquiusprite
>Nepeta lives on through Davepetasprite^2
It's funny how not even all of reality can keep them apart

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God remember when Alterniabound first dropped?

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You know they're basically still dead personality wise right?

>Ill finish this and the others later and post them on my twitter, MonsterSquish
Good luck, dude

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Horses and cats are pulled together no matter what. It's just how it is.

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>constantly see posts about how Jade should be with Rose now and ignore how dedicated she was to Dave

Motherfucker was willingly to fuck Karkat to be with him.

naw

At least nuHussie and his cronies didn't get a chance to twist them into something unrecognizable. They're together and they're cute, that never changed.

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if you are desperate, the reddit discord

That's too big a davekat hub for anything meaningful to happen

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In conclusion Bro did nothing wrong

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his tastes were too refined for all these lowly normies

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Fuck Hussie and Fuck Vriska.

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Why is Jade not barefoot

I mean he kind of fucked that up since our of the other trolls known to murder people, it was just Eridan who is awful, and Terezi where people believed her justifications about punishing the wicked despite earlier lines about how awful Alternian law was. Hussie wasn't really able to walk the walk in portraying all the trolls as being from a hellplanet.

The physical books lose a lot of what made HOmestuck unique and genuinely impressive, anyway. It doesn't lend itself well to static, sequential panels. The medium WAs integral to the message. The animations, clicking through things like a video game, the music and the animated events every now and again... They were all part of the greatness, and part of what got people invested.

Without those things, it's just an awkwardly laid-out comic strip with no sense of motion and mostly pretty lame art.

Big mistake, fucko!

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Same reason she's wearing underwear, so someone can take it off.

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Threadly reminder that Spades Slick did nothing wrong.

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PS was peak Hussie

Don't even get me fucking started on how Spade Slick got the shaft. Why the fuck does he die, but Jack Noir is able to live? Spades Slick who wanted to avenge his crew, understood Karkat, and helped the trolls, is treated like a villain.

>33

Absolutely based.

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The biggest mistake of that strategy session was sending Terezi there to that showdown. Like sure she was helpful, but her being responsible for exiling him got his aggro up even more than normal.

...though honestly he probably would have tried to kill Dave and Dirk just out of the principle of the thing.

Honestly I could write a whole video on how each character in Homestuck got shit on, but I'm afraid that if I do I'll find even more bullshit to rant about.

Yeah but some got the shaft more than others is the main point.

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"HoNk"

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Well since the epilogues say canon doesn't matter, I declare Acts 6-7 to be noncanon!

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Epilogues aren't canon tho
>jade has a tail in them
>had no tail in the comic

>like Homestuck was all about meta shit when that used to be a small part of what made it great.
THIS
Every time someone says "lol, Homestuck was always a meta fuckery story with uh, nihilistic shit and postmodernism and blah blah" I shake my head. No, no it wasn't. Homestuck was a story about kids playing a game. It was literally indistinguishable from Problem Sleuth shenanigans until things got heavy and disturbing in Act 5, then fatalistic and tired and hopeless in Act 6.

I've seen people here post that it always had meta stuff and they seem to think John fucking with his inventory is meta shit.
Turns out people don't know what it actually means.

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Some of the art in Rex bugs me

youtu.be/5L_gOBfGl2A
This is one of the best fandom videos in general, in my opinion

It always had shit like an Author self-insert influencing the story, characters acknowledging the absurdity of the commands they were given, blah blah blah

It always had meta shit, it just wasn't the central theme back then

This video threw me back into the kpop hole

>Homestuck was a story about kids playing a game. It was literally indistinguishable from Problem Sleuth shenanigans

But if you think about it, earlier parts of HS and PS as a whole always had low level 4th wall breaking moments. It's just spiraled out of control during and after act 5.

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What's emotional about cutting a meteor in half? He was doing what he needed to do.

But yes, him and Dirk like to be flashy show-offs

>Metafiction is self-conscious about language, literary form, storytelling, and directly or indirectly draw attention to their status as artifacts.[1] Metafiction is frequently used as a form of parody or a tool to undermine literary conventions and explore the relationship between literature and reality, life, and art.
Please explain to me how drawing attention to the absurdity of an inventory system in a comic that was parodying adventure games was not and example of metafiction.

How would you react if Hussie revealed that he really was involved with canwc?

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>that Feferi
Holy fuck

>parodying inventory mechanics is now metafiction and not, just, you know, parody

Explain how it was. Because by your definition anything that parodies video game tropes is now metafiction.

Metafiction is a tool frequently used for the purpose of parody. See: Blazing Saddles. They are not mutually exclusive

>anything that parodies video game tropes is now metafiction.
Yes, especially if that parody has to do with the conceptual mechanics of the game that the character would not normally be aware of in diegetic world of the fiction. Undertale is a great example of this.

Zero surprise, it's clearly not drawn by him but the writing is too close and no one else would have a reason to hide behind a pseudonym.

>The commentaries
Those were pretty wild.

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>Dave is a self-insert of Hussie in terms of his sense of humor
>Rose and Doc Scratch are self-inserts of Hussie in terms of his sophisticated manner of speaking that you see in interviews, authorly lorefagging, and in Doc's case, his attempts at smugly manipulating people's feelings
>Dirk is a combination of all of this, creating a self-insert that's closer to Hussie's personality than the literal self-insert

umm sweety wanting a relationship with a man is straight and that's bad

I don't know why some people online think straight relationships are bad. If the characters support and trust each other what's the problem?

Because the icky straighties have kept down the gay man for too long, and straight relationships cannot ever be healthy or something.
This is what these dumb fuckers think.

When will Tumblr realize Hussie couldn't care less about trans-representation and only endows it because it brings in revenue?

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>brings in revenue
Lol

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>Hussie is also inexplicably drawn to horses in the comics and IRL.

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Same reason homophobic straight people think homo relationships are bad. Some people are grossed out by what they don't swing towards. But it's become a fad to see this as okay on niche communities on the internet, because teenagers like to be abrasive and rebellious

The best relationship in the epilogues was a straight one. In terms of politics, I found the epilogues managed to be fairly equal - even Dave's rambling about shit like toxic masculinity, or Gamzee's rambling about feeling unsafe, was framed as pathetic.

Um, Jade and Dave can NEVER work out actually, the epilogue says so.

Karkat with a loving Kanaya

It says the opposite, there's timelines where they work out, but it's on Dave to man up and love his wife.

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Dirk and Rosebot.

>no one else would have a reason to hide behind a pseudonym
It's not that common a practice for fanfic writers to reveal their real names, not unless they're trying to make it legit at least.

Karkat vs Vriska strife when

>Roxy is trans
I couldn't be asses to read the epilogue, what the fuck

Oh that's just the tip of the iceberg of shit.

I have said this here before but I think I would have been a cool idea to pair Terezi with Diamonds Droog in the same way Slick was Karkat's exile.
But also bring more development and Focus for the latter, please.

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what other horrors have I missed, I feel like the jade dog dick thing is just a troll.

It's implied

No that's real, but her desperately wanting kids is too. Dave is also obsessed with Obama despite mentioning him all of maybe three times in the comic proper.

That's one timeline. In the other timeline John impregnates her and that *explicitly* makes her decide she's not trans.

Yeah, it was always a regular story with "meta/postmodern elements" and jokes before it became a "meta/postmodern work". Same way Narnia had "religious elements" before it became a "religious story".

what was the point of this? bet this binch is behind this

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She is, the entire epilogue is Dirk and Calliope fighting over and destroying the characters

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blame regular Calliope for it, not Alt!Calliope

Can I blame both of them

If it helps you vent

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Just.
Gar8age.

salty cause karkat won't creampie you eh vrisko

silence Serket

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No, it makes her decide that her body is just a body and not inherently female or whatever she was scared about feeling from getting pregnant

Alright I stand corrected. It makes her stop caring about it.

Nigger

Sounds like shit

A caveman painted on a cave

Was a bison, was a fave

All the other cave people would rave

they never asked why

why paint a bison if it's dead

when did you choose the color red

what was the process in your head

He told their story

What came before he didn't show

We're not supposed to...

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Alpha trolls murderfest is what happens when you dont have someone like Karkat solving shit, it kind of bothers me no one fucking thanks the guy

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>Karkat and Jade
I am still mad

>the writing is too close

I seriously don't know how anybody could think this. The writing is ametuer compared to even the worst of Homestuck.

Are you caught up?

Calliope is shit in general, whats new.

If the Grand Highblood was Beta Kurloz, what was Alpha Gamzee like?

or 'alpha-' any beta troll basically

and the answer is, they were never introduced. up for grabs AU people.

Last I read was the bit with Doc Scratch and Purple OC Doc Scratch, and it really drove my point home because both of their narration and dialouge were so much worse than Doc Scratch's in Homestuck.

Keep reading, but I disagree.

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>even though it's anything but
Fucking kill yourself. Vriska is one of the most fucking abhorrent characters in all of fiction.

FUCK HUSSIE. Leading us on for YEARS, with the perfect ending of Spades Slick defeating Lord English in the 11th hour after all hope was lost, and yet HE NEVER EVEN FUCKING MEETS HIM! And just randomly dies in the ending flash for no reason!

God Act 6 art is so fucking bad. It's like a mix between Adventure Time and The Simpsons but so much worse than either of them.

I kind of do agree, but I also imagine that if he is involved, he wouldn't have been doing any of the writing either. Like the epilogues. More spectating and providing suggestions like "use that pink sun I slipped in Seer: Descend for something"

Here is all you need to know about the epilogue:
john gets laid

a cute

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And Karkat session was so full of cheating and metagaming not only they gave an universe cancer, no one developed their classpect powers.

Wasnt he being mentally manipulated by lil cal during that time?

Also yes.

I think it's pretty astonishing that he got everyone on the victory platform without godtiers.

No and also no

I pretty much found he was on the way back of his old character during the epilogue.

She's literally the embodiment of tumblr's worst. It was made very clear that Meat epilogue was a summary of the entirety of Homestuck with Calliope being tumblr and Dirk being Hussie.

Wasn't Caliborn the metaphor for the toxic side of the fan base though?

Calliope is also toxic

Considering the Beta trolls were all about coddling their underprivilaged I would say either Karkat is what got all of that started or he was matespritting the empress.

Toxic masculinity, same with Eridan to where Hussie commentated that Eridan is the prototype of Caliborn.

Dave is said to also been compared to Eridan, but Dave went woke, so it's fine apparently.

Toxic masculinity vs toxic femininity

Nepeta is 100% non-toxic and hypoallergenic.

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I dunno, Hussie said Nepeta was the prototype for Calliope in book commentaries. Sucks for Nepeta to be compared to that cherub bitch.

Just like Act 6! :D

Calliope is only benevolent in a creepy cherub way that's not necessarily compatible with human or troll morality, but at the same time it's not unambiguously cast as a bad thing so idk.

unfortunately no

Not only that, Caliborn also represented people who hated the way the story was going. Why do you think he was written to constantly complain about the Alpha kids romance bullshit. In fact I think the John vs Caliborn flash was only made because some fans liked Caliborn too much.

pretty surprised because one, hussie's never been one to conceal himself, and two, hussie's never been one to care about fanfiction
the writing is kino but it's not like hussie

That's so stupid because Eridan's whole problem was that he couldn't take a hint at what he was doing wrong. He's more a joke character because it was comical the mistakes he constantly made and how whiny he was. Even with all that he wasn't as bad as Caliborn because he considered Feferi a very dear person to him. However because of the aforementioned stupidness he kept entering a dick measuring contest with Sollux and then Murderstuck happened. Just another instance of Hussie being stupid.

Not too surprising considering he was with cal all the time, which would probably have a terrible influence on him. Notice how as soon as cal is destroyed in their last strife the first thing bro does is save Dave's life by splitting the meteor and allowing him to enter the game, then go fight noir and try to kickstart the scratch. And despite everything the constant fights also helped prepare Dave for the game.
Hussie is still a faggot and the whole last arcs plus the epilogue are shit though.

He was preparing Dave for Sburb.

Bro did nothing wrong.

While that's all true and repeatedly mournfully acknowledged by Hussie in the comments, I like looking at the big, colorful pages and being able to flip through all the pesterlogs without having to click around on the website. It's like looking at Homestuck as a whole instead of just one page or another. Also I like the art in the first five and a half acts.

I mean, they're not intended for people who are reading Homestuck for the first time

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What does the Bro version of Dave look like from the Alpha-verse? I only ever saw outlines.

That's all there is. Not much different from depictions of the beta guardians, aside from clothing detail. It seems like he wore a white tee though. (pic is fanart)

He was in his 50's when he died, according to Hussie, so you imagine him a bit aged

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Thats kind of hypocrite to write after calling anyone liking Feferi dumb

>Act 5 Act 2 Part 1
Jesus. This shit is so bloated he has to subdivide even further just to print it.

I dont think its physically possible to print Act 6

Everything about Hussie's writing is hypocritical

I really dont get why hussie gets so mean sometimes

I'm basically imagining maybe the coloring of Beta/Kid Dave if I remember right. I remember being a bit down compared to Dirk and Bro/Beta Dirk he had so much white on him.

He’s a dipshit

>growing up side by side with a puppet that has the soul of one of the most dangerous persons in paradox space
>not being manipulated by it
Choose one

Anyone willing to fuck Karkat should be awarded a medal for bravery, not even Dave is willing to fuck Karkat.

Do you guys like stridercest?

Do you like horse testicles?

Ew

And that's everyone's reaction to your question.

nah I'm not a yaoifag
I like all 'cests involving Rose, though

I do, but I don't care for stridercest.

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Smooth

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I need more cute Nepetas.
a Fefetasprite is fine too.

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I'll never get over Rose's character design there.
Don't know why but for me it's weird as fuck

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The big round hair makes her seem alien-like at first, from Hussie copying Mom's template without too much refinement. But when done well I consider it her peak look

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.

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So this is what I have come to.

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I certainly came to it

That I just found!

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All Nepetas are cute, user.

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How did Dune get into Homestuck?

It's not surprising that they included heinoustuck in there, as it shares the theme with canwc of having one normal person among all the crazies and a fucked up reality. Was probably part of it's inspiration

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It read it because it was trying to bang a chick in high school that it liked

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Why did John fuck them all?

John doesn't believe in incest and Jade would never let a non-Dave iteration impregnate her, re-evaluate your existence.

He did however rail Kanaya until her trollwomb acknowledged the superiority of the human race.

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>heinoustuck

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John x Kanaya is so underrated

That's because Kanaya/Karkat is superior

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Denizens are snake monsters, Dune has a worm monster, and worms are just soft snakes

Are there any interesting fan projects going on right now?

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Karkat is always shit but can be fixed

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Muh nig, pale karkan is one of my top faves

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There are better genderbent trolls out there though

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>that short cute kanaya
>that ripped karkat
i wanna bang both of them desu

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>pale
Oh no, not pale.

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Vast Error but it's on hiatus until Halloween-ish. A big [S] page is coming up.

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that's too lewd and also I was only considering John being pared with the female so that's why femkat is better

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She's clearly looking at character development she could have

I highly enjoy the idea of them tenderly fucking too, just not a red romance

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Give Jade a hug!

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>when a porn comic ends better than Homestuck did

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Karkat needs therapy for his existential issues from a good moirail. And a Nep to warm his heart.

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Sorry, but Karkat belongs to Kanaya.

wait maybe this one

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Karkat(Female) belongs to John's cock

I like that Kanaya was the only one he stayed good enough friends with to remain in contact with in candy

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you don't cut your sister out of your life, that's Dave-tier bullshit

I think you mean Karkat(Male)

That poor baby is getting squished by that tid

Vast Error is interesting in the same way a dead animal is.

Yeah baby.
This is the quality content I come here for.

Tiddy's gotta be that big to keep up with demand. Basic economics.

Same bro

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Is that not what HS is?

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you'd probably find more of that content in the constant /aco/ threads

Today is the Credit Score Day!
youtube.com/watch?v=emlwt1mV2Xg

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0u0

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pfffftthahahaha dave stop!!! that tickles!! hahah stop i--hahahahaha!!!!

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BD's hasn't really done much preggo content lately

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You may choose 3 Arad(ead)ias

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I just made some a while back and I've a whole shortstack pregnant Jade/army of Dave gangbang comic coming up.

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okay we just devolved into fast wildposting because the bump limit is ALMOST HERE OH SHIT

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why is jade going to abort her baby

dave no!!! that's my egg dave! you're gonna get me pregnant dave!!!! OH GOD

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>jade saying no to pregnancy
What is this OOC shit

these always look a bit freaky

Hussie did a service by not drawing tender moments in a representational (or armless) form.

fuck missed a hs thread on Yea Forums oh well posts 500

HS is your childhood friend who was really cool but got into drugs and just wasted all of their potential. They borrowed some money from you a few years back and you don't really care about getting it back but they assure you that they're going to pay you back soon, and that their big break is soon, and then you don't hear from them again for months.

Jade can't have kids yet! She needs to get married first.

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Getting lovingly DP'd by your husband won't abort a baby, sides I even make a point to have Dave be careful because he's a coward.

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Top left, middle, bottom

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BOWMAN
IS
MAGIC

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It's fine, if you nut it in it's yours, that's a law on Earth C.

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idonteven what the fuck is going on with CANWC

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And so we come to close the book on another thread

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the Michael Bowie of Hamsteak

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She says it with a creepy aradia-tier smile on her face while looking Dave straight in the eye.

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Welp, I'll miss you guys. Truly the most 8ased and cerulean-pilled thread on Yea Forums today. I wish this moment could last forever!

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We still have over an hour of life left.
Let's make the most of it.

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You really like your vanilla shit huh

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>girls locking their legs around guys so they cant pull out
Fuck that's hot

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spiders are gross. but also cute

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Homestuck threads just make me think
HOW DO I
GET THROUGH ONE NIGHT WITHOUT YOU

Vanilla is the flavor that makes the other flavors taste better. You can have freaky pregnant one-man bukkake fests that are still tender and sweet. It's the best kind of one-man bukkake fest.

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She's not locking her legs around him. They're just in a place to conveniently remind of the consequences should he remove himself from her premises, so to speak.

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What is John looking at?

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I want Jade to force me to cum inside her as she gives me an evil look.

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Be a useless blonde twink and someday you might get that wish.

Is that...
It can't be...

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Sadly I'm neither a blonde nor a twink. Such is life!

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>not whispering a bunch of manipulative shit to get him to impregnate her

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That doesn't look like John and looks like some random blonde dude

OH NO JOHN RUN

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AW FUCK

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>implying he needs to be manipulated

it's the nepocalypse

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JOHN
IS
DEAD

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I want to HUG_ fuchsia karkat!

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Dave is a coward, he needs Jade whispering in his ear about how the baby will have his beautiful red eyes and think he's the coolest dad, and how it's so much easier to just stay inside then take his cock out and risk it getting preyed on by wild vultures, and how she knows how badly he wants this, and how she wants it too, and how they're financially stable and have a large house.

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Is this it? Is Homestuck finally dead? If John can't retcon anything. They're all fucked.

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Does that mean we're finally free?

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Might as well post this now in case I never finish it

Here's Jade's kids that she got from Rose after she pleaded with her in a fit of loneliness. Rose kept a third blonde one and named him Dirk. The girl is a furry who has real fangs, but wears fake ears and a tail when she gets older. Jade gave the ears-boy one of Dave's old copies of his shades.

I got this whole sexy/cute/angsty threesome scenario with Rose and Kanaya in my head that I dunno if I'll ever get around to drawing or commissioning. It includes Jade watching Rose making awkward rambly small talk while they all sit on the bed, and it reminds her of Dave, so she starts crying. Rose and Kanaya feel horrible and hug her, and Rose, who also misses Dave, uses her Sight for a moment in an attempt to figure out what happened to him - Kanaya notices the dark look on her face and caresses her face in concern. Meanwhile, Jade's sobs turns to sniffs as she takes in Rose's scent and starts feeling horny because of the love and attention she's receiving from them. Yadda yadda, yiff

Anyways, these kids are the light of her life and she ends up living a happily enough ever after with them.

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What would a Rogue of Heart do? Steal souls? Swap souls between bodies?

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Yup, Homestuck is finally dead. No one can progress or do anything now. We're all free. Wait, maybe there's someone that can change things. The hero of light........

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>jade still trying to fill the void with the closest she can get to davebabies
That's still pretty sad user

Things can get Freaky Friday fairly fast around them.

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I know.

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Who doenst love Vriska

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>Swap souls between bodies?
Probably. Swap souls so that her shipping grids become canon.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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See I'd just have Jade show up with a part-Dave baby, and never actually mention how other than the kid being "quite a surprise", and nobody is comfortable enough to inquire further.

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You can count the number of people who can tolerate Vriska on one hand.

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absorbed by S P A C E, Jade is now a gigantic space furry

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Eventually, Jade stopped thinking

>no size-changing despite it being Jade's main power
Epilogue is garbage

Fuck the people who'd say Dave would be a bad dad, if he actually reached that point he would try his heart out.

The best

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He'd spoil his kid rotten, and god help us if it's a girl, then it'd be even worse.
But spoiled little princess strider would also be fucking adorable.

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Even in the epilogues, John acknowledges how good he is with kids

And yet he refuses because he's afraid. Ever the coward, never the coward who overcomes. I hope Dirk destroys his robot ass.

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So what's your guys' headcanon voices for the characters?

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>not having Jade balance it out and being the reasonable parent

Octopimp's Equius is pretty good.

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Fuck

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Octopimp's Eridan

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Nathan Explosion always pops up in my head whenever I see Equius

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Jade's just happy to be a mom

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And I think I'll post this because I had fun thinking of this kid who inherited Jade's scientist trait, and idolizes Dirk in the same way that Vriska idolized Mindfang. Excuse my shit writing

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>eri

that's what we were missing from the thread

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Sherwoodtv for Dave

Bowman as John

What's John's credit score?

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she looks like a rabbit there

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It happens to be 720. The higher his credit score, the higher his chance of saving a lot of money. This number is between his buttocks.

Her brother is associated with one, and she certainly fucks like one.

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>tfw reminded of a fic where Rose is a witch that turns her rabbit familiar into a human, who is John
>tfw remembering how it ends with her realizing that he's still got rabbit stamina and basically can fuck her nonstop

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>Jade the reasonable parent
Jade didn't grow up with a family either, both her and Dave would raise the most spoiled obnoxious brats on the planet. Epilogue Dave wholly is how I imagined their kid to turn out, Hussie just skipped a few steps for it but the end result is the same.

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Is she Life or Light?
Discuss before the thread dies

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Yeah but Jade is also the smartest of the beta kids and probably aware of her shortcomings when it comes to her upbringings. She was also the only kid willing to do her quest and follow the rules.

She'd be the kind of girl to do the research on how to operate a baby, maybe she'd have a few half-feral missteps but I think she'd do alright.

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doom because her game is dead as is her relevance

what the fuck why did this comic become a parody of itself, weren't the beforan trolls enough for that shit

>fountain of cute
classic meowrails art from way back, excellent taste sir

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>both her and Dave would raise the most spoiled obnoxious brats on the planet

>teleporting half-feral hellion pups terrorizing everyone and you can't do shit because they're the children of your ruling godkings

I love it

is it subversive enough yet

Light of course

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When it stopped being a comic.

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I'd say light, too

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She's desperate for a baby though, once she finally had one she'd be unable to say no to it.

*because, whoops

The epilogues are officially described as dubiously canon, the goal was to go as batshit as possible

probably blood . xefros is a rage player. and derse dreamer. somebody needs to diffuse that shit.

It's framed as a trashy fanfic now so the limiters are off.

She probably has fantasies about being a great mom and having a loving family but also being responsible.

It's not fair.

hoes indeed mad

I think we can all agree that with everyone in the epilogues having kids Jade being shafted out of the thing she keeps expressing a desire for was some big time bullshit. And that Hussie is a fucking hack.

Wasn't that only something she briefly expressed a desire for in the epilogues?

She talked about it several times and had a whole conversation with Dave and Karkat trying to get them to agree to have kids.

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>deleting a picture so you can post an image
Poor form Nepposter, poor form

I couldn't be bothered to read the epilogue, could someone give me a quick rundown?

bless nep

Nep must win. By any means necessary.

IT'S SHIT

DON'T READ IT

It's fucked, read it

Jade is a horrible person for wanting the same things everyone else has.

Why? She isn't a fucking attention-whore.

>Blood
Dammek already has that

It seemed really long and boring, so I couldn't be bothered to read it and still don't intend to.

So much goes on that giving a quick rundown would skip out on so many events. All you need to know is that it ends on sequel bait. And Jade has a dog dick.

John boinks Terezi in the back of his Dad's car then dies

So in other words, it's shit.