First time reading this. First time doing the Story Time of Pain too. This is about 1600 pages long, brought to you by a Steven Universe storyboarder and the person who invented the tumblr nose. It's also cancelled and will be continued in a light novel I don't have access too. But 1600 is a lot so I think there'll be plenty of pain. I hope. I haven't read it yet, but I've heard plenty.
This is one of those one panel+text comics, and I don't have a Yea Forums pass. This is gonna take a while, but let's give it a whirl. This is NEOKOSMOS.
Die Hard is a 1988 American action film directed by John McTiernan and written by Steven E. de Souza and Jeb Stuart. It is based on the 1979 novel Nothing Lasts Forever, by Roderick Thorp. Die Hard follows off-duty New York City Police Department officer John McClane (Bruce Willis) as he takes on a group of highly organized criminals led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), who perform a heist in a Los Angeles skyscraper under the guise of a terrorist attack using hostages, including McClane's wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), to keep the police at bay.
>I'm gonna greentext any commentary I have so you can distinguish it from the main text. >Personally I wouldn't start off a comic by describing a movie I'd rather be watching right now but you do you.
On Christmas Eve, New York City Police Detective Lieutenant John McClane arrives in Los Angeles to reconcile with his estranged wife, Holly. McClane is driven to the Nakatomi Plaza building for a company Christmas party by Argyle.
>1600 pages OP that is a minimum of 7 threads.You'll also need to wait a minute each, so we're talking 27 man hours needed babysitting the thread.Think of all the better things you could be doing with your time.
Wyatt Bennett
user, please. Stop before you hurt yourself.
Jayden Ross
>light novel what does that mean? It will be just words?
Luke Fisher
While McClane changes clothes, the party is disrupted by the arrival of Hans Gruber and his heavily armed group: Karl, Franco, Tony, Theo, Alexander, Marco, Kristoff, Eddie, Uli, Heinrich, Fritz, and James
.....
Ugh. You hate drawing crowd scenes. This sucks.
>we're talking 27 man hours needed babysitting the thread. I storytimed a 4000 page comic to a discord server once, I'll (probably) be fine. Not sure if this'll last longer than the weekend itself, I hope not.
>what does that mean? It will be just words? Words with occasional pictures. But that's not what we're storytiming, so don't worry about it.
>Aren't they like single panels? Just splice them together and dump them like that. I'll probably end up doing that, it'll save time. I'll already probably be splicing dialogue bits into the images because I don't feel like putting that in the text box. Pic related.
Nathan Jenkins
And I forgot the image, this storytime is off to a great start. Love you guys.
There's no weight to the lines. Acceptable for cheap shitty animation, but not really for a comic. The fact that this thing is just a series of single panels makes it even worse. I'm disgusted already and we haven't even gotten to the sexism.
Levi Butler
>Panel 1 text You keep rolling. Roll out of the door. Roll away from all of your problems.
>Panel 3 text This is as far as you can go, on account of not having a door to roll out of.
>Panel 4 text You look around your room. There’s your bed, water fountain, the door to your bathroom, computer and desk, and all your drawings strewn about.
Also for new readers be prepared to witness delusion of an author so great that they think 10 year olds that have never been in human society would be able to not only understand the jargon of wikipedia articles but somehow recreate social constructs and other bullshit from them just to unironically add more gay characters.
Jason Gutierrez
>Panel 1 text To the left there’s your closet, window, sofa, and your bulletin board.
Is this a shitpo- Oh wait, it's real, that's worse
Jacob Smith
>Panel 4 text You want to go outside. But you get the sense that would kill you. At least, not without a suit and a ship.
>Panel 5 text Or permission.
>To no one's surprise, the comic called NEOKOSMOS takes place in space. >I think the chapters are named after the floors of the ship, which would actually be clever and not obtuse if they were in order. >To my horror, some of these panels are gifs, so pasting these together might not be so easy. But as long as its literally nothing, like a title popping up, I might as well just throw them in with the PNGs.
>Panel 1 text You look at your shirt. It’s nothing special, just some weird thing with wings inside of some circles. You don’t really know what it means.
>Panel 2 text You’ve got a hundred just like it.
>Panel 3 text You attempt a highly stylish and illegal acrobatic maneuver.
>Panel 4 text You’d give yourself a solid 1/10.
>Panel 5 text You really should clean your room... Dr. Xaveria nags you when it’s in a disarray anyways.
>I'm confused, the page text reads like its following reader submitted commands, but all the command prompts are just "Next."
This looks indistinguishable from Steven Universe aesthetic, which is not a compliment.
At some point, people within this artist's bubble community must acknowledge the ubiquity of this "style". It isn't so much of a style as much as it is a habit. It's art shorthand.
Luis Collins
>Panel 4 text Huh?
>Panel 5 text One of your friends wants to chat!!!!
>A story in which our seperated characters are stuck in their rooms and communicate via internet chatlog. I wonder what this reminds me of.
>Starting a story with the "conflict" of a character being bored
As a published writer this shit triggers me like nothing else in the universe. OP you are the Mengele of storytime of pain and it's barely been twenty posts.
... I don't think I'm going to survive this.
Isaiah Lee
>Panel 2 text Oh?
>Panel 3 text Oh!
>Do you think the doctor's name is QWERTY on purpose? I'm just spitballing. >Iris makes me lose my shit because if you go on the wiki page, she has absolutely nothing written under "Personality".
>Jesus Christ, look at all those wasted panels. You could have just shown the guy picking up the laptop, and be at his desk in the next one. I understand it's a good idea to break up the scenery and not just have a bunch of panels of him sitting on the floor, but we absolutely did not need a bunch of panels of this either.
It just looks like a bunch of screencaps from Steven Universe, as though the panels are stills which should not be still and are losing something by not being in motion. In some of these panels, (namely here ) the difference in line weight between the character and her (?) surroundings really does give it that Bitcomix-y, Flash-y, cheap animation aesthetic.
While obviously Homestuck didn't invent second-person narration, the line about 'attempting an acrobatic maneuver' gives it away that this comic is in second-person solely due to Homestuck influence. I'm going to bet that, like with literally every comic that uses second-person in the pursuit of aping Homestuck, it will do nothing original in its text and the narration will be littered with lines which are lifted directly from Homestuck and then poorly fitted into the context of the new comic. "Look reader, I'm making an homage to that more famous webcomic! And by homage, I mean I'm just using lines from it almost or entirely word-for-word! But I'm winking at you while doing it, so that means it's fine!" Now that I think about it, it's basically the text equivalent of how Steven Universe will directly lift imagery and cinematography from anime, rather than come up with its own. Fitting, really.
I wish the comic went on longer, the threads bitching about it were somehow pretty comfy.
Samuel Lee
this happens when storyboarders try to draw a comic
Ethan King
>I'd like to point out our first character conflict is teen angst. >I really hate the "Character gets interrupted mid typing" trope because then how did they hit enter? >I'm really fucking up these filenames but whatever.
>Tripfag >Posting images during a storytime I should smite you but I'm not going to because this is for you guys.
yeah I'm sure this is what people completely isolated from others care about
Christian Phillips
>Panel 1 text Here we go, this is more recent! Just a bit further...
>Panel 2 text You should really check out those documents about space travel again.
>Panel 3 text --Space travel was a long-lasting obsession of the human species. Though humans are largely unequipped to handle space-flight, it is unclear how far human society progressed before they were wiped out. Wikipedia documents several spaceflights and astronauts, though manned flight never travelled further than Earth’s own orbiting moon. It is possible that technology had advanced further, but such records were kept from public knowledge and unfortunately were destroyed along with the planet.-- This is pretty boring.
>Panel 4 text --numerous studies show that long-term spaceflight has ill effects on human subjects. Human muscles atrophy quickly in zero gravity, which can be painful and lead to serious health problems if not exercised daily-- Um.
>Panel 5 text --While humans never accomplished it, many intergalactic ships are capable of traveling at near light speed. However, this can cause a time-warping effect relative to those on the ship. Though those aboard may experience the trip as several years, beings not traveling at light speed will perceive the travellers as being gone for centuries.-- WHAT THE FUCK??
>Panel 6 text NO MORE COMPUTER.
>I can't tell if exposition through reading old chat logs, not even in flashback, is clever or terrible. >Exposition through literal wikipedia is genuinely the worst though.
Ok, 20 pages in and I can safely say this is the worst use of this format I've ever seen.
Jonathan Sanders
more, Steven got insufferable over time, this kid outright makes me want to bash my head in from the get go.
David Lopez
Oh it's Homestuck.
Samuel Gutierrez
>Panel 1 text You just can’t do it. Maybe if you try harder...
>Panel 2 text Okay... Here goes...
Vroom....vroom.... watch out criminals...
>Panel 3 text Yeah, you’re way too depressed for this right now.
>Panel 5 text You feel like the loneliest kid in the entire universe right now. Not that you have much competition, because as far as you know there’s only two other human kids in the whole universe.
>it has a lot of sociological implications in human society :) >like being demure and submissive and treated like a child no matter how old you got :) >and being allocated less resources and responsibilities than men because you weren't as important :) >and shittier healthcare and the expectancy to give up your life to be an incubator for the man you serve :) >it just really resonated with me :) :) :)
Is that how the rest of that conversation went?
Adam Wright
>Panel 1 text Focus.
>Panel 5 text She's probably packing right now.
>Panel 6 text You’re distracted by a weird grumbling noise in your belly. Ugh. You must be getting pretty hungry.
>At first I thought those 3 panels were poorly compressed gifs, but nope, that's really the visual effect they're going with for flashback/psychic powers/whatever that is.
>Panel 1 text That means it’s almost time for your first visit. You should really hurry up and clean your room!
>Panel 2 text Okay! Time to get to serious business and pick up all the junk you left laying around. Now is the time! Nothing could possibly interrupt you from this important task!
Somehow a child (boy) in a world where people mostly go by 'they' is able to understand what being a human girl even means from articles normies twice their age can barely read.
Fun fact. Braid hair child is biologically female and the girl (boy) is a likely love interest. Beneath the pronoun they/her shit is a heterosex couple. Let that boomerang sink in.
Levi Robinson
Why yes. I post image replies in a storytime thread. What gave it away?
>Well, here's your first look at your aliens for tonight. >They're sure to be as popular as the Gems and those grey angry people that came before them. >I had to compress this gif to post it, it was like 20 megabytes.
>1600 pages Jesus fucking Christ, what? How the hell did they find the time to pump out that much of this drek?
Chase White
You people are the worst people.
James Gutierrez
>It's also cancelled I just laughed seeing that within seconds of learning that this new thing exists
Thomas Allen
>it’s also cancelled
Thank God.
>continued as a LN >a Western LN
fat chance
Joseph Jones
Same. Who's even paying to read the light novel?
Dylan Lee
are you muslim?
Justin Foster
>Panel 5 text Ugh. They always are making you “pick things up” and “not live like a complete slob.” It’s ridiculous.
>How the hell did they find the time to pump out that much of this drek? It's really easy to do in a one panel format.
>Who's even paying to read the light novel? I honestly don't even know how big of a fanbase this has. I can't imagine many of the people who read it for free, unironically, went and paid for the book.
one of the most bland alien designs i have ever fucking seen. then again all of the designs in this are beyond fucking garbage so i can't say i'm surprised
>The way the characters clash with the backgrounds reminds me of point and click adventure games. >I'd say I'd rather play NEOKOSMOS than read NEOKOSMOS, but that implies that I'd in any way want to consume NEOKOSMOS. >Oh hey, we hit page 100. Nothing's happened.
they don't even have shadows, that artist is lazy as fuck
Alexander Kelly
>By being in the single panel+text format, you basically excuse yourself from the "Show, don't tell" rule. If you're not going to be putting text on these panels, why are you using this format?
>Panel 2 text Eh. Whatever, man. You do this every day.
>This alien may be shit but it's honestly a better "Steven Universe" character design than the movie villain, honestly most of the characters introduced in the back half of the show that aren't Diamonds or Fusions are visually underwhelming.
I've read my fair share of terrible stories in this format, so I thought it'd just be like those going in, but holy shit you're so write. This really does read like a fucking storyboard. And that's not a good thing. Have you ever met someone who reads storyboards for fun? It's a shit format for writing, it literally only exists to plan out moving pictures.
I don’t like this. And I know these people love the logical fallacy of “argument from authority” so with that in mind- I’m a minority thrice over. And I fucking hate this. I hate everything about it. It takes things that make people individuals and just crams theme together in an unnatural way that just feels...for fucks sakes man- why is every transsexual a redhead? It’s literally cliche in “tumblr culture” now.
Cameron Bailey
is this made by that one homestuck cunt with the terrible art that kept getting used?
Lincoln Jenkins
there were a few of those but yes
Joseph Ward
>The alien says the differences are exagerated but they aren't really. It's a shitty doodle but it is pretty much true to life. >I wrote write in my last post instead of right because this comic is hurting my brain.
There's some kids held in controlled isolation on a space station by some aliens, for some purpose we're supposed to learn as we go along, I guess.
It really feels more like a vehicle to have trans characters than a story they actually wanted to tell so far, honestly.
>There's some kids held in controlled isolation on a space station by some aliens, for some purpose we're supposed to learn as we go along, I guess. >It really feels more like a vehicle to have trans characters than a story they actually wanted to tell so far, honestly. Hard pass
Landon Hughes
"Spirits of the Charles" on Amazon Kindle
And "Creecherland." I'm pretty ashamed of both
Jack Taylor
Human children in space raised genderless by genderless (actually female but go by 'they') to study human behavior in different settings. Despite missing key components of how humans work and just imprinting their own culture unto these kids which would probably just fuck up the results of the experiments. This is also on top of ignoring the psychological studies actual humans did which would be found on the very sites they let these kids use but the writers are retarded. Also your typical psychic human experiments in the background which are probably the real reason for all this shit happening but it's never explained and really you've seen that plot a million times over before.
Shit blows up with space pirates and one of these characters that we never give a shit about dies and two of the text log group gets together to go through the whole space station I guess.They wander through uninspired rooms and environments. We learn character shit that's irrelevant to the situation they're in. The story cuts off with trans redhead in a cryostasis with a 'read the light novel' non-ending. The end.
Also the writers pride themselves on having no (non-trans) male characters in the story.
Joshua Sullivan
>Hell, even the dialogue is in such short bursts outside of chatlogs. >It's kind of clear they have two distinct writing styles. One is influenced by working on storyboards, single sentence per image, and one is influenced by Homestuck chatlogs, massive fuckfests of dialogue attached to a single image. If it weren't for the chatlogs, you could really just put all this in speech bubbles.
Don't be. I like what I saw about the premises of both so I might give them a read.
Jose Harris
is the light novel out already?
Isaac Rodriguez
why the fuck is they blushing
Aaron Young
I read storyboards for fun, but the problem with this is it's not even good storyboarding. There are so many unnecessary panels that actual production storyboards would never bother showing, and the lack of motion lines make everything look so stiff.
Brandon Evans
All I remember was a patreon for it. I don't know if it's finished or even started but I kinda wish someone would grab it to not only ruin whatever money they might make but so the rest of us can keep riffing on it.
They just finished their first draft. This is with 166 patrons and while getting over 900 dollars a month.
Cooper Brown
>Still no non-dialogue text to post in this TEXT adventure. >It's actually pretty insulting to me as somebody who works on both text adventure and regular comics how much this recycles art. Because it recycles so much fucking art it makes me look like a garbage factory. The joke there being that they're a recycling plant. It didn't really land, sorry.
>Yes, they really did just use the same picture of Xaveria for 5 panels in a row, and only 2 of them were minorly edited.
Hey, this is more posts during the storytime itself than most storytimes get, I'm pretty excited with the results.
This storytime was DEFINITELY a mistake, but it's a mistake that I'm going to foolishly carry through with, just like the last storytime I did, which was four times longer. Yay!
You know what else she doesn't have (besides a dilating rod): much screen-time. Just a few chat-logs and a scene at the end.
Bentley Taylor
>Panel 3 is LITERALLY THE SAME as panel 7 in the last post, but with slightly less blush. >So Xaveria's a bitch, Zehra's a pushover, and the kids are all insufferable. Got it.
Fuck if I know, I'm reading this for the first time right now.
Probably the reason why she doesn't have a personality.
Dominic White
does zehra have a crush on xaveria?
Brayden Long
>Jesus Christ Xaveria, straighten your back. >I seriously thought my posts would have more text than commentary going in, but there's so little text and so much to comment on.
andrew hussie and his crew praised this thing. probably their lowest point honestly. nepotism became their only operating principle
thankfully all will be rectified when God descends his judgment upon the Earth, bringing down his cataclysmic elbow drop on the Weak
Adam Allen
>>So Xaveria's a bitch, Zehra's a pushover, and the kids are all insufferable. Got it.
Prepare for sudden inverse of all of that excluding the children's insufferablity. Because SUBVERSIVE DEPTH. Even if it was never foreshadowed.
Luis Morales
Yes.
Gabriel Davis
What gave it away?
Andrew Turner
>does zehra have a crush on xaveria? Is it me or did it just get gay in here.
>Hussie and co will endorse this >YIIK was so bad Toby Fox removed his endorsement of it Speaking of Toby, we'll be seeing his music later, apparently. Er, hearing it.
Though you're one to talk, guy, I've seen Lord English Quest.
>Looks like they're gearing up for some BIG IMPORTANT FEELINGS. >But that'll have to wait until tomorrow. We've reached page 200, and I have to go to bed. I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully starting earlier, and maybe I'll prepare these collages of pages in advance so that I can post them faster. I didn't expect to have to do so much editing. >I'll probably also reformat the way I do these posts because I look like a brainlet greentexting all the time. >Goodnight, Yea Forums! Enjoy the Story Time of Pain!
Might be short for "Bio-engineered" or something. Like a printed meat block.
Aaron Adams
bump
William Collins
because this comic really, really, really wants to be homestuck
Adrian Clark
This was interesting in an awful way, thanks OP
Evan Ross
Well... yes.
Gabriel Rogers
LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST DON'T YOU SHITPOST NO MOOOORE
Jeremiah Morales
this is actually an incredibly creepy interpretation of a tranny
Owen Rodriguez
>Commentary Good morning, Yea Forums! We're back, so thank you all for the bumps in the night. I'm gonna do commentary like this from now on so I don't look like an idiot greentexting for now reason, so let's continue!
This kid is basically being guilt tripped by the fact that he's been in captivity his entire life, thinking that craving literally any other form of human contact makes him a bad person. That's pretty fucked up.
I've noticed it with these comics that try to be "The good representation in media you've been asking for!" that they're either incredibly mundane, or somehow end up being incredibly disrespectful to the people they're trying to pander to.
Like, if a comic portrayed a trans character as an unfeeling robot who only talks about gender, you'd expect it to be making fun of them, not trying to be "The representation Steven Universe fans want!" which I'm sure is the audience they're going for here.
I know "tumblr" is a meme term that's thrown around too much but god this is so tumblr. The SU ripoff artstyle, the Homestuck ripoff format, the lore-bait, the godawful glacial pacing, the chick with vitiligo, the creators using "no male characters" as a point of pride...this is the epitome of how NOT to tell a story.
Henry Wood
>Panel 6 text You're alone again.
>Panel 7 text ... For some reason, you feel an overwhelming urge to put this thing in your mouth.
>Commentary Holy shit when was the last time one of these pages in this TEXT ADVENTURE actually had text? Right after page 100? And we're on 230? Jesus Christ.
I hope the plot twist here isn't where it turns out they're all dogs or something. That'd make R.L. Stine proud, but I wouldn't be.
she won't admit it but it's obvious she either hoped to make it into a cartoon one day or to use it in a portfolio to get a story boarder gig. It's not a good storyboard but it's obvious she's TRYING to make a good storyboard more than trying to make a good story
Daniel Hernandez
she looks pregnant
Benjamin Price
>Panel 4 text You really should talk to them about it, but...
>Panel 5 text You just don’t have the heart to break it to them yet.
>Panel 6 text Instead, you pull up some old conversations you had with Iris and Z. You’re sure this won’t make you even more sad!
>Panel 7 text A while ago, the doctors let you send pictures to each other. It was the first time you got to see what your friends looked like.
>Commentary Oh boy, things are gonna get SAD. The kind of SAD with goblins blubbering out solid blue tears. That's how SAD you're gonna be, guys.
this entire comic blows massive ass-chunks. I legitimately think marville is better than this.
truly living up to the "of pain" moniker. I commend you.
Brandon Martin
>Panel 1 text Ever since then, you’ve all been engaged in what Iris likes to call a “selfie war.” You thought that sounded dumb at first, but then she made you read the page about Selfies on wikipedia. It’s pretty fun.
You can tell they were practically begging the Steven Universe demographic to make this popular, but they forgot to make it actually interesting.
Then again, SU forgets to do that half the time too and they still have an audience.
This comic is such bull. When doing experiments, everyone knows you have to use white rats.
Justin Lopez
>Panel 1 text The two of you really went back and forth for a while.
>Panel 2 text You and Z also exchanged selfies a while back. This is just reminding you how much you need to tell them what’s going on... you’re not looking forward to that conversation.
>Panel 3 text The timing of this guy, you swear.
>Commentary Thankfully the comic spares us from looking at Z's horrid gremlin face. For now.
Given my experience reading the story time of pain, I'd actually put Marville on the low end. It's no CHAOS, or The Unfunnies.
so this is what happens when someone consumes homestuck and Steven universe directly through tumblr. It’s like a horrible smoothie of all their worst parts.
Gavin Parker
>Commentary So, tallying it all up, it took almost 300 pages for something to actually happen. That might be a new record.
I never saw Die Hard either, but I saw the AVGN review of the game. I think Tye just wants to protect her feet from possible broken glass.
Nathan Morgan
Between putting all these panels together and compressing these gifs manually all for one of the blandest stories I’ve ever read, this seems like the complete opposite of worth it. Living up to the painful title, the pacing is even worse than I remember.
Jordan Rogers
Worse, it's what happens when someone who worked on Steven Universe and someone who worked on Homestuck think they can be just as popular by pandering to tumblr.
>Panel 6 text It sure looks like someone used to be here.
>Panel 7 text Someone... another human... lived right next to you.
>Commentary This is very clearly supposed to be Iris's room, so it's a little weird that her data is already cleared out when she left like, what, half an hour ago at most?
>Panel 1 text And you never met them... You didn’t even know...
>Commentary These panels are really inconsistently sized and its bugging the shit out of me. They're all just as wide but some are randomly taller or shorter with no rhyme or reason. If you're going to work in this format, pick a standardized panel size for fuck's sake.
>Hussie praised this shit >Toby disavowed YIIK when it turned out to be shit Truly, Toby proves himself to be better than all of that group every single day.
Justin Hughes
>Panel 1 text Oh, yeah. You should look inside them.
>Panel 2 text There's a bunch of shirts.
>Panel 3 text And a ton of food.
>Panel 4 text You don’t need any of these things right now!
>Panel 6 text This seems like a lot of supplies for just you... or... just a few kids.
>Commentary It's amazing how, after something FINALLY happens, we're in what might be the most fucking boring part so far. If I knew this is what the story would be like if it actually tried to be a text adventure, I wouldn't have complained!
>Jesus Christ Xaveria, straighten your back. I think that's just how most people of Xaveria's species hold themselves? But they're so near-human it looks ridiculous.
Hunter Jackson
>Panel 3 text You don’t know what any of this means.
He actually didn't have his shoes in the first Diehard. I'd post a pic of the Japanese version of the ads/cover for the DVD or whatever where it's one of the selling points, but it's whatever.
Aiden Watson
>Panel 1 text You just... can’t right now.
>Panel 5 text You don’t recognize these humans.
It looks especially ridiculous considering she(??)'s standing right next to another alien with completely normal human posture.
That one image of Qurti and Xaveria is so much better than anything else so far. It's a real example of a picture telling a thousand words. You can imagine Qurti dragging her colder coworker out clubbing, trying to get her to loosen up, Xaveria hating every minute of it but not actually being willing to spoil Qurti's fun...
Isaiah Reyes
>Panel 2 text Phew... you are not equipped to handle this level of emotional whiplash.
>Panel 3 text Okay... one more, and then you’re done with this room.
>Panel 4 text You decide to press the icon that you’re familiar with.
>Panel 5 text You immediately regret this decision.
>Panel 7 text Iris.
>Panel 8 text This is her doctor’s office. She lived on this station.
>worked on Steven universe >worked on Homestuck Hey fuck this I’m starting my webcomic tonight.
Chase Moore
First off, those are some mighty fine quints. Second off, I tried reading this comic when it was first released, and I dropped it immediately due to how glacial the plot got. The biggest problem is spending way too much time on the mundane and not doing anything interesting with it. It could be an interesting concept, the idea of gender neutral kids in space, but they go with the most boring plot that could be conceived - jealousy over not doing a thing.
Now I see why Homestuck was drawn so poorly - so they can pump them faster and they don't have to deal with the details.
Carson Brown
What kind of fucking OS is this?
Robert Price
It actually reminds me of Sugarizer, as in something edutainment-based and intended for heavy, almost insulting control by an outside force.
Anthony Hill
I sure hope no Xeno-pedophiles were hired to look after one of these kids.
Lincoln Foster
>Panel 1 text And you never...
>Panel 2 text She!
>Panel 3 text You just!!
>Commentary JESUS Christ, I've never seen tears that fucking huge in my life.
Nice get, and you're right, a picture says a thousand words... Or that one does, most of the pictures in this don't say anything.
An alien one, of course.
Makes sense for the kids to have it, less sense for the aliens to.
Blushing is such an obnoxious trope. Especially since it's now heinously overused by gay teasing in media It's dumb. just come straight out and have your stupid, badly written character yell "I'M A COCKSUCKING FAGGOT/I'M A CARPETMUNCHING DYKE" instead of doing this lame buildup shit.
>Commentary Oh thank fucking god. At this point I'm actually looking forward to the shitty characters interactions because it's better than when this insufferable brat is alone.
I'm not sure it's a gay thing, I think its an obnoxious shipfag thing. They want to tell the audience THIS IS THE THING YOU SHOULD SHIP, MAKE LOTS OF FANART AND THEN CLAP WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER because as shipfags themselves, the creators are scared of their audience shipping things they don't like.
But a lot of the people making this tumblr-style gay media ARE obnoxious shipfags, so there's a lot of overlap.
haha gay haha wow what well written character yass queen slay haha reblogged and retweeted patreon donated to really proud of le queer representation in twentybiteen
>Commentary The intro to the story really didn't establish that they didn't know they were on the same space station. It's really easy to assume that they knew that, they have the same schedules and clothes and the way they talk to each other makes it seem like they know they're on the same station, they're just held in isolation.
So the emotional turmoil from the "Reveal" that they were on the same station the whole time really falls flat.
188 posts in but we got there. Never change, Yea Forums.
Ryder Robinson
>Commentary You say that like it's an excuse for bad parenting, Xaveria. AND we get a good 3 panels in a row of Tye not moving a muscle, completely unedited. What a treat!
I mean, the IDEA of the story sounds interesting. Kids raised by aliens in an experimental facility. That’s a good enough pitch.
But this is so slow. I read like 3 or 4 pages years ago and dropped it. 1600 pages really isn’t THAT much in this kind of format, but good god it’s starting to feel like it.
Eli Sanchez
>part of this is understanding how humans form relationships through barriers of isolation uuuuh why though, that makes absolutely no sense
>are the lizard aliens called compies Are they supposed to have evolved from those ankle-biting dinosaurs in Jurassic Park?
Tyler Phillips
>Commentary Damn, Triss is a smug ho.
The next page is actually our first video page! Because these are a thing, I guess! And with music by Toby Fox, no less. I haven't actually watched it yet, I'm going in blind with you guys. Let's do this.
I say that because of how everyone but Iris seems to use "they" as a pronoun + the fact that - for reasons later on - the aliens use she to their love interests, and since it's a one gender alien race, i'm assuming lesbian unfortunately.
it's still weird to have the aliens be nonbinary lesbians. almost as if they're saying that these kinds of people irl are aliens. really makes you woke
Julian Clark
because non binary can only be gay (even though they should call themselves hetero because "different" and all that shit but nooo they want to be gay)
Brody Ramirez
Kinda impressive actually, the music and lighting helps a ton
Angel Cooper
Sunday Sunday SUNDAY! AT THE MEGABOWL!
Ethan Gomez
Oh, so that's where the Nova Corps symbol comes in. "Kids standing on the Nova Corps symbol" in the OP pic is probably the one thing I knew about this ahead of time.
And it's even worn on the chest the right way and everything.
>Commentary Holy shit it took me way too long to compress this gif. Looks like a jpeggy mess and I had to remove more than half the frames. Here's the original kosmosimg.com/0563.gif
ah yes, as we all know 1 in 3 humans has vitiligo, that's what tumblr taught me at least
Samuel Gutierrez
oh god
Isaac Wright
Pace yourself user. Yea Forums has an archive so if you gotta take a day break to not go crazy that's fine. Godspeed you madman.
William Ramirez
A BODY HAS BEEN DISCOVERED!
Jace Nelson
>Commentary So Smokey Quartz' retarded offspring can hack high tech alien machinery despite being in very strict controlled isolation their entire life and only having access to Wikipedia for knowledge. Checks out.
If I can do 600 pages a day we'll be done in 3... I might take a break and come back later before my brain goes numb but we'll see.
I wasn't expecting to meet someone on Yea Forums with an even lower threshold for gaydar than myself.
Ryan Reed
Z is so off-putting to look at. not even just because of the shitty stereotypical tumblr design, but his fucking proportions are so weird. he's a midget but his whole head and body are so much larger than tye
Isaac Anderson
Is this a Hazbin Hotel character?
Levi Ross
Oh my god you're right
John Richardson
It's like I always say user, when it be gay, shit be gay.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have another gif to compress.
>Commentary Wait, why do they need the corpse? I thought they needed the computer. When he picked the fucker up I thought maybe the "brain computer" was the glowing headband don't tell me its literally in their brain.
>Commentary I think I'm gonna have to tap out for now, my head is really starting to hurt. I should be back in a few hours tops, I hope. Wouldn't want to keep you lovely anons waiting.
If you think it would be worth my time, I could try to redesign her to not look so bad.
Ryan Powell
kek probably not user, but i'd be curious to see
Cameron Green
It's one of those premise that sound good in your head. Humans who learn about humanity through wikipedia is a neat science fiction idea that could lead to some funny ideas or possible drama. The problem is that the creator didn't think what that might entail without context.
This is written to be this rather than thinking what could happen from the idea.
James Thompson
Everything about this comic feels cribbed from either Homestuck or Steven Universe. I understand taking influence but I can hardly read a single panel without it feeling like I've seen it before.
You know, this story really doesn't need the text at all. I accidentally skipped over the text in a bunch of panels and hardly noticed, because narrating the MC's every thought adds nothing to the story. I thought knowing how to show, not tell, would be something a storyboarder would be good at but I guess not.
Nicholas Carter
Well, the style is understandable, given that the person who decided this was a good idea is a SU storyboarder. But yeah, you're on the money
Jace Garcia
God damn it, this isn't reaching the levels of Ready Player One for REMEMBER THE EIGHTIES but that still pisses me off
The video is actually pretty decent. The animation and music work nicely. But it kinda falls flat, because the build up was so boring and we don't care about any character in this situation.
Gabriel Gomez
>Commentary Bah, I couldn't help but come back sooner than I should. I just love you guys too much.
So here's some blood! How much you wanna bet no humans are gonna die cause then there would be blood that actually looks like blood and also they're all kids.
It's alright, pretty generic. What I do with making characters is using shapes to create recognizable hairstyles, even if they're unrealistic. Z and Triss's hair are both far too retarded even for me though.
That's what I was thinking. Truthfully, I don't even mind Tye's design. It's the art-style that ruins it. I ditched the hair 'cos this was for another user who hated it.
Evan Butler
>Commentary The blood looks so like, scribbled on.
i’m triggered by the bright ass star being reflected over the alien’s mouth
additionally triggered by the lazy window reflection. it shouldn’t be a copy-paste horizontal flip, you should see the back of the alien’s head from this angle.
Caleb Cruz
>Commentary Take a shot every time a character is in the exact same unedited position as the previous panel. You'll die.
this format is pissing me off so much storyboards don't translate into comics
Cameron Hughes
>indistinguishable from Steven Universe aesthetic
I disagree. The characters all look like SU rejects, but SU has very good use of color and environment design.
This? This is just boring to look at.
Benjamin Green
None of them are attractive, so they're safe.
Colton Barnes
I feel like a part of this comic’s problem is how visually uninteresting it is. The setting could be used in a much more unique way but instead the artist only focuses on the bare minimum.
Robert Cruz
The funniest part to me is that one of the creators actually works on SU. Imagine making your own story, separate from your day job, where you can do whatever you want and let your own creativity and personal expression run as far as you want. And you just use someone else's style, the same one you have to draw in for your job.
Definitely. It seems really clear that the artist only really knows about storyboarding from TV cartoons. If you try imagining how these panels would work in motion they'd be boring as all hell, there's no creativity to any of the framing or compositions. It's mostly just medium shots and closeups of talking heads, almost always at a flat angle. This is supposed to be visual storytelling, but the visuals are tedious to look at and make us feel nothing.
Luis Miller
>Commentary This got a lot gorier than I expected it to.
The colors are fucking terrible too. They’re too muddy to play into the sci-fi angle, but too bland to give any sort of life to the comic.
Christian Sanders
There's is so much fat that could be trimmed from all this bullshit.
Asher Butler
see this is some neat body horror type shit. i honestly hate seeing shit in this comic that's kind of cool because it makes all the boring plodding garbage even worse by comparison. if the pacing weren't so fucked and the art/character designs were better, this has like a microscopic chance of being interesting. it's like the writer saw the slow burn plot approach of adventure time and su and decided "oh, people like it when the plot is revealed slowly, i'll just go really fucking slow" without realizing that the only reason people still gave a fuck about those shows is because they had something going on besides the plot forming in the background. adventure time had fun characters and, weirdly enough, adventures and su had something that i'm sure people liked. here the characters are all aids, the world is shockingly bland for being an alien spaceship that's isolating human teenagers, the art is so derivative it's not even funny, i just don't know what the hell would keep me going except for pure spite if i actually wanted to sit down and read this myself.
Gabriel Clark
Why are we supposed to care about these characters though? Where’s the endearing traits?
Henry Campbell
I tried something. Sloppy and quick, but I hope it gets the idea across.
I deleted every single *completely* useless frame from this sequence, while still maintaining "decompressed" storytelling. Nothing is lost by trimming 1/3 to 1/2 of these panels.
...I realized something along the way. This is not a storyboard. It's animation keyframes. No sane board would have this many drawings in it. It's completely pointless.
I cannot believe this is the work of industry professionals.
you can tell they really, REALLY wanted this entire thing to be animated. they're trying to make some kind of compromise between the medium they're stuck with and the medium they want and it suffers hard as a result. that animated segment on youtube wasn't that bad, and you can tell that's what they wanted everything to be. it wouldn't fix the writing but it would at least do something for the pacing.
Jordan Lewis
Don't you see them crying? Is that not enough?!
Christian Thompson
>Commentary With the way this comic goes I was expecting a detailed changing scene that would be supposedly "Emotional".
You know what would be a better compromise? Just upload it as videos. Animation-like, but without the in-betweening. They've got enough frames for it. Slap some music and voices over it, you've got 90% of a cartoon.
People would probably watch that. There are plenty of successful "animated" videos on youtube that are basically just motion comics.
Grayson Howard
that would make this a thousand times more bearable. as it stands it's like trying to watch a cartoon but the player pauses once a second so you have to press play every single second while you just read the subtitles.
Christopher Cook
>Commentary Holy shit is this...PAYOFF TO SETUP? I didn't think that was even possible.
You've got it right on the money dude. It would probably be way more popular if they had done it like that.
i.imgur.com/VWsXiFT.png A piss poor edit, but whatev's. OP. This is around the time you went to bed yesterday. Are you gonna take a break soon or keep going?
Adrian Murphy
>Commentary ...Nope, nevermind, it isn't. I guess it is impossible. Instead of increasing tension by the sound of the bouncing tennis ball alerting the pirates, it's just another excuse for Tye to feel SAD.
>Commentary Anybody else noticed that Triss's hair defies 3D space by appearing as an afro from the front but a mohawk from the side?
I still got about two hours left in me. Or maybe until we get to 800, since we'll be half done with the comic! (About). My index finger is really starting to hurt.
Also your edit looks more like grey paste than... Well, y'know.
The worst thing about this is that it simultaneously goes too fast (so we cant give a fuck about the characters) and way too fucking slow because its an utter mess of panel vomiting.
Kevin Wright
The hair thing is fine, pretty much every other cartoon and anime does it
Jason Gomez
>Commentary So yeah, the tennis ball is just an excuse for Tye to have more BIG IMPORTANT FEELINGS... Even though it was Zehra who gave the tennis ball to him, not Xaveria.
If you replaced all of the panels of mundane movement inbetweens with actual character/plot development, we might actually care about how SAD Tye is.
>literally Caliope Haha holy shit why didn’t she just stick with fan fiction
Austin Nelson
didn't she get fired from Homestuck
Christopher Perry
>Commentary. Oh. That's not an alien.
I have a hard time believing any of these characters are gonna be likeable enough to be best character. MAYBE Triss because she seems like a smug ho. But I'm not really invested in anybody so far.
>Surprice thicc big tiddy queen Wasnt expecting that from this sjw clusterfuck
Ethan Reyes
She was let go but Hussie is dating her sister, so her influence still poisons the comic.
Ryan Hernandez
>Commentary Alright Yea Forums, who's SADder, Tye or Seven?
We'll wrap it up for the night in about 20 minutes, at which point we'll be about halfway through the comic, and I'll definitely be able to finish by Sunday! Loving the ride with you guys.
>Hussie is dating her sister, yeah but that sister is hot as fuck and does cosplay and you just know hussie fucked her in vriska outfit
Leo Cox
>even though it was Zehra who gave the tennis ball to him, not Xaveria. that was like 500 pages ago no one remembers that
Colton Bennett
RIP uptight lizard woman. You left a lot to be desired as a foster mother, but at least you tried to protect the kid during an emergency. We never see Qurti or Xehra again, do we?
Jason Hill
>out of literal nowhere, my fetish Would it still be sjw if she topped or is that too heteronormative
Justin Parker
>Commentary So this psychic kid is literally their surveillance system, how the fuck do they not just have cameras.
This part kinda feels like generic sci-fi.
>We never see Qurti or Xehra again, do we? Fuck if I know. Guess we'll find out.
>have teleportation tech >bio-implants >space travel >tons of other shit I bet >lets use a human who clearly has issues as a surveillance system are these aliens retarded?
Jack Thompson
>Commentary It should be a plothole because Seven didn't say "Xaveria", but Whitename here said "looking" into his mind, so I guess that have telepathic tech- But not security cameras.
they never watched movies, they read the plot summary on Wikipedia
Justin Rogers
200 plus pages in and just now is the plot starting.
Caleb Richardson
>really stellar animation for all of five seconds used exclusively to have them look around surprised, followed by poor awkward panning to zoom out Wasted potential
Joshua Adams
Cut him? some slack, is a stressful situation, and they are dragging a corpse.
Jack Phillips
NEOKOSMOS the Inanimated series. I'll watch it.
Christopher Rogers
Thanks for enduring user, if this is painful to read, it must be even more painful to upload.
If this was a game it would be interesting, the problem is that the protagonist has too much angst and the story is too decompressed.
Jose Davis
If they have wikipedia there is even less reason to not understand how human culture worked. Unless acting as if they didn't knew much about Human culture was also part of the experiment.
Jason Hernandez
Its not even the story thats decompressed, its the bits of absolute nothing between the story bits that go on for way too fucking long
Nicholas Long
>tranny with no personality ftfy
Evan Wilson
>Everything wobbles a bit when the lights turn on and off.
How... do you screw that up?
Justin Hernandez
people paid money for this on patreon
Adam Morris
Its like seeing an adventure game letsplay with no audio and the player is stuck.
Nolan Torres
I read this. It's literaly nothing. I actualy had hope at one point that it would be something, but i guess i't just the proof that i'm retarded. The worst part of it. It's probably cheaper or something. Intent probably was on harvesting human psyshic abilities.
Brayden James
I'm just trying to look through all the images without really looking at the text at all, besides the dialogue which is included with the images.
Definitely agree with the key-frame hypothesis. I think I'm having a better time of it by looking through it than a lot of people who are reading all that stuff too. The style is kind of shitty but it conveys enough to get by especially with all the redundant frames.
Seems like a neat premise, execution seems flawed based on hopes that they had no intent to achieve. With all the work they did it doesn't seem like it would have taken significantly more effort to do proper fucking tweens. Who the fuck knows though, maybe someone is working on it, Godspeed to them. I guess.
Even a shitty story deserves the effort to be told properly.
Nicholas Peterson
Bump
Andrew Hernandez
And of fucking course they draw vitiligo wrong. Because fuck spending 2 minutes in google to learn how the condition actually works.
Blake Richardson
More like Inane-mated series
Xavier Cook
Doesn't this end with your typical webcomic "lol bye" abandonment?
Nolan James
GOD DAMN IT NOW I GOT FIND ANOTHER NAME FOR MY COMIC SPACE SHIP.
Fuck this garbage, art of suspense is lost.
Luke Rivera
If you want Popeye arms you have to counterbalance the weight of the design to compensate. You know, like how Popeye does with his big round head, long torso, and squat, thick legs and huge feet You can't just make a thin character and give them Popeye forearms, it looks awkward. Put some weight in the lower body.
Bentley Sanchez
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Asher Green
If the thread dies off where will you upload the rest?
Christopher Scott
He could always make a second thread.
Chase Morgan
That's what I meant to say, shit, this story's starting to affect me.
Kevin Clark
im already feelin it just from the perspective on the thumbnail
Julian Gomez
It’s not a big deal. Artists learned what vitiligo is a few years back so it makes sense they’d hop on an excuse to make their characters more visually interesting. Yeah it’s supposed to be more symmetrical and splotchy- less like cow spots- but that would be way less “cool” and way more “ugly and disturbing” and “not something you’d want to pass onto your kids” Artists like giving their characters red eyes and naturally purple hair and shit, I just view this as an extension of that.
t. has vitiligo
Owen Adams
this is unberable
Camden Campbell
>We never see Qurti or Xehra again, do we?
You actually will. The former in a pretty pointless flashback and the later in a bullshit scene.
Isaac Taylor
Huh. That little video actually alright. Animation wasn't really bad at all. Music helped it, too.
Ethan Parker
OP here, started a second thread since this'll be the second half of NEOKOSMOS.
>using ellipses for dialogue >in THIS Fuck's sake...
Caleb Bennett
Just find an obscure mythological being, like Busiris or Yazat
Noah Bailey
THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
Henry Nguyen
I guess writing "Bluh bluh huge bitch!" would be too on-the-nose as far as references go.
But man, from what I'm reading so far this is just awful. It's all the worst aspects of Tumblr, Yea Forums, and The Comic That Shall Not Be Named rolled in to one. Homestuck at least had charming dialogue and used the first 200 pages of fucking around to characterize the people in the story. By contrast by page 200 of this comic we know only the barest surface level details of the characters, their setting, and we got a very minor inciting incident. So much wasted space.
