Why are elves so disgusting?
Why are elves so disgusting?
Oliver Perez
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Sebastian Cook
Actual answer? Authors tend to wank them as being oh so perfect, which is what they're supposed to be but still. Eragon's elves are an especially shameless example.
Conversely, Elder Scrolls have elves that are more on par with humans, and I especially like the ES version of dwarves.
Grayson Gutierrez
Talked to Chris once and asked about the elves. He said yeah, they're Mary Sues with supermagic, but there's only about 300 of them and they'd get their asses wiped out if Galbatorix really felt like wasting an army on them
Isaiah Davis
People also tend to rip off Tolkien while forgetting Tolkien's elves had flaws coming out their ears to compensate.
I think WH:F elves are the only ones that properly pulled off the homage.
Chase Hall
I like the dark elves from Salvatore. They're basically white people with reversed ethics, inverted everything. And their female lead society horribly fails at every turn and all the men are manlets, it's basically like a history of now but written years ago.
Noah Cooper
Have sex
Carson Baker
They ain't that perfect this time around.
Joshua Parker
they only have 4 fingers and webbed feet, no wonder Callum wants to get with the dark mage instead of this disgusting thing
Parker Richardson
>while forgetting Tolkien's elves had flaws coming out their ears to compensate.
Did they? What flaws? Their only flaw was that they were really sad and defeatist. In every other respect they were better than everyone else at everything.
Nicholas Edwards
You offering?
Landon Myers
May want to read the Silmarillion, m8. By the third age they'd mellowed out significantly, but in the first and second they were immensely hot headed and fucked up plenty.
Feanor in particular is one of the top contenders for did everything wrong.
Parker Hall
Oh, so they were exactly like humans in temperament except superhumanly good at everything. I'm not convinced that qualifies as a flaw.
Dylan Campbell
nah the blue elfs are cool
BAMFBAMFBAMF
Leo Gutierrez
>Oh, so they were exactly like humans in temperament
Please read works before you comment on them
Elijah Morgan
>that female elf pushing the make human in front
elf females were made to dominate human males
Nolan Martin
Make friends
Luke Thomas
Dude. Feanor committed genocide because he wanted some boats, and the guys who had the boats said "well we need these to survive, but we'd be glad to start building you some"
Juan Bailey
What did you just say you N'wah?
Ian Ortiz
FUCK ELVES
NO GODDAMNIT CALLUM, I DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY
James Nelson
Thank the gods, I'm no elf anymore.
Austin Myers
Better question: why is this show such "#WOKE" SJW pandering garbage?
Robert Sanchez
what if Rayla raped Callum, you know as a joke
Luke Hall
Make friends
Jeremiah Smith
Elves spend hundreds of years mastering all the essentials nature, combat, art and magic. Of course we're better than you.
Jason Carter
Pretty sure sex with mental midgets is statutory rape anyways.
Parker Barnes
No one can hear him in the forest.
Except Zym. He gets to listen.
Carter Wood
It's their womens' exhibitionist tendencies: running around forests while scantily clad, letting the misty rains fall upon and wash the sweat from their clean, purple-hued skin...
Julian Sanders
Michael Rodriguez
how will Rayla seduce Callum in season 3
Owen Richardson
Shut up, viren
Daniel Phillips
it's funny how people with critical thinking skills know that Viren did nothing wrong
Angel Young
>webbed feet
Matthew Jenkins
Yet he's trusting an elf
Nathaniel Walker
Not just any elf. A hot elf.
Just like Callum.
Evan Price
An elf so hot that his banishment included making him wear pants
Hudson Watson
He's wanting to lead a group of people who seem to be perpetually on the brink of collapse, due to their own idiocy and bad leadership, against a better organised and more powerful opponent and is powering himself by what appears to be purely necromantic magics to do so.
Yeah, of course he's the good guy...
Pic related: Claudia's future.
Henry Williams
I heard elf ears are erogenous zones.
Is this true?
Zachary Watson
Well they are for humans so why not
Daniel Foster
>a human woman fruitlessly tries to compete
Michael Brown
That's true for 40k, I don't know about any other settings.
Isaac Scott
HUMAND
Jason Jenkins
Serially dropping spaghetti in an endearing way
Parker Phillips
Elves essentially knew the future because the gods told them, so they regarded anything that isn't living out their destiny as pointless.
It isn't as much a flaw as that their very perception of reality is different than humans, which looks heavily fatalistic to all non-elves.
Evan Clark
They only want to rape our young boys.
Angel Cook
Justin Sullivan
We're not disgusting!
Levi Hernandez
We're beautiful, immoral and magical.
Josiah Jackson
Chase Kelly
Rude.
Brandon Jenkins
How do they put the hoods on?
Jordan Bell
>Feanor in particular is one of the top contenders for did everything wrong.
>be Feanor
>make the most beautiful gems ever in all of existence
>so beautiful Satan himself comes to steal them
>get mad, swear the most terrible oath that will ever be sworn in the history of the world
>former allies and friends are like "cool down bro, you're not thinking straight"
>kill them and steal their boats
>cross the ocean, get to the other side and burn the boats because this train has no brakes
>takes my entire people on a rampage all the way to the gates of Angband
>personally fight my way so deep into the enemy ranks I end up soloing nine Balrogs at once
>finally get struck down by Gothmog, lord of Balrogs
>my (many) children carry my dying body from the battlefield
>make them swear they nor their children nor their children's children will rest until we get those fucking gems
>set fire and blow away as ashes on the breeze as I die because of how FUCKING ANGRY I AM
Brody Russell
>elves are 10000 years old
>would have to be pregnant for 10 years
>be a teenager at 1000
Cooper Clark
>be me
>born under the Two Trees
>my hair capture their light inside them, be beautiful af
>this edgy elf-prince falls for them, wants one of my hair
>tell him to fuck off because I am an edgy teen myself
>he is a great craftsman though so he captures the light of the Trees himself on some crystals to fap to
>whatever
>he gets increasingly paranoid over someone stealing them
>eventually this evil god shows up and kills his father, fucks up the trees and steals the gems
>massive shitstorm
>fast forward 8000 years
>2 civil wars, 3 genocides, millions dead, two continents obliterated, a dozen civilizations and races lost later, all this bullshit seems about to come to an end
>the gems are destroyed and the last Maiar follower of this asshole is about to get his shit rekt
>see we got his ring of power and we are going to destroy him forever
>this random dwarf shows up and likes my hair too
>he asks for a hair of my head
>dwarves are good craftsmen right?
>oh hell no, we are not doing this again
>give him a hair and two more for backup
Daniel Reed
carefully
Carson Martinez
Viren was right, but trusting an elf is always wrong.
Matthew Sullivan
These are very good.
Hunter Foster
William Allen
>Eragon's elves are an especially shameless example.
I absolutely love Eragon but I can't find an argument against this.
Angel Rivera
What makes Rayla so cute?
Luis Wood
Character design
Eli Sullivan
girls with horns are cute
Josiah Brooks
She’s Athletic, confident while being able to admit mistakes, and socially awkward when not in her areas of expertise.
Christian Ramirez
Cameron Cruz
She's Scottish
Carter Morris
the only moment I remember from past the first book is when his elf teacher chastises him for having peach fuzz for facial hair...when he's a teenager who can't grow anything else.
Ryan Gray
As much as I like to shit on the books, it’s a fair point. Plenty of teens, and sometimes low 20s, look like idiots by growing fluff under the delusion it makes them look older, or being too lazy to shave.
You can’t have someone who’s supposed to be a public figure looking like an idiot in that manner.
Joseph Bell
Jason Gomez
because they steal away our men
Caleb Allen
fucking elves
discord.gg
Joseph Richardson
post more mah boi Soren
Michael Adams
Josiah Russell
Your gods take fat Molag Bal dick.
Nicholas Anderson
Brandon Stewart
The chad stride in action
Hunter Clark
Holy fuck I want those big black amazonian lava elves to femdom me until I die.
Benjamin Richardson
When the fuck is he going to finally let Drizzt die? Dudes had enough suffering in his short life. I haven't read the books since I the magic got fucked up, and cattie-brie died. Is he finally dead?
Matthew Diaz
>Zym listens in
>Ezran can hear via their connection
Hunter Martin
fucking elves indeed
William Perry
post elf feet
Michael Gonzalez
>elf femdom
I see you are a man of great taste
Angel Parker
Could be worse
Alexander Rodriguez
Lincoln Gonzalez
source is davecavedraws