Who deserves to get verbally murdered like Quagmire did to Brian and more importantly...

youtu.be/tVFp8KTEw-k

Who deserves to get verbally murdered like Quagmire did to Brian and more importantly, who should be the one to deliver the tirade?

inb4DippergoinghardonMabel

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OP

>Who deserves to get verbally murdered like Quagmire
Quagmire

This. Brian's a git but any moral rant made against him rings completely hollow if it's being delivered by a literal rapist.

Request for any writers

Someone needs to do one with Dipper verbally killing Mabel or Rowley from Diary Of A Wimpy Kid finally speaking about how much of a little bitch Greg is.

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>Rowley: I’m not gay, Greg.
Done.

Pearl shitting on Steven could be comedic gold

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test

It should be Mabel shitting on the ungrateful selfish ass Dipper.

I think Peter Griffin is a hundred times worse than Brian is.

Took the words out of my mouth. Not that anything Quagmire accused Brian of was wrong, but What Quagmire could be called out for is way worse.

It should be stan shitting on both kids.

And Ford.

Jasmine to Huey would be funny. In fact, pull a Meg and have her shit on each of the Freemans one by one.

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everyone in the griffin family is awful in some way except stewie oddly enough.

Quamire is a far far worse person.

That scene was stupid cause it was like a baby eater calling out a bank robber.

Quagmire's antics are not supposed to be taken seriously

Neither were Bryan's until this episode.

This. Huey works because he has Grampa and Riley to make him look good. When he is on his own, he becomes Lisa Simpson.

Jasmine needs to take her fucking shoes off and show her feet.

Imagine using a sociopathic joke character as your mouth piece for legit criticism.

stewie is a literal supervillan level threat. they havent done much with it lately, but if hes the best one of the lot then jesus christ.

Ginger to Dodie.

>inb4DippergoinghardonMabel
Sounds like one of my fanfictions.

Should he Soos shitting on everyone else. Like that episode of Family Guy where Meg calls the whole family out on their bulllshit.

It's Family Guy garbage. Quagmire was just a horny womanizer, and Bryan was just an intellectual douche. Who cares really?

I thought it was the other way around?

Sure Brian is a shit character now but before he was the families only moral compass and Qaugmire is the last man on Earth to pass judgement on him about his action who cares if your honest about your deeds your still a piece of shit.

And then Greg should shit on the Crystal Gems starting from Pearl with a full scale verbal assault, the same for Amethyst and then have a nice conversation with Garnet about why he doesn't like Ruby,

You helped kill millions of people Harley
Millions!
then you just go on and pretend its no big deal I get to be a good girl and everyone will love me because I'm cute and silly

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It really is incredible how effectively the point was undermined just by the person delivering it.

Reminder that Quagmire is a fucking rapist

Fuck off, Pearl is a hypersensitive bitch slave and any loss of her neurotic personality came from Steven's patience.

Too many fucking times she couldn't control her emotions or the fact that until maybe the finale she'd let Steven die if it meant getting Rose back. Remember when she offered no help to Steven hanging from a cliff because she was sad about Muh Rose?!

>Tfw Quagmire is now a 5-Star Chef, Pilot, and famous actor

Bugs and daffy ripping into each other would be pretty fucking amusing to watch.

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Garnet shitting on Lapis would be better.

>Who deserves to get verbally murdered
Eclipsa
>who should be the one to deliver the tirade?
Mina Loveberry

To complete roast Daffy he would need almost the entire Looney Tune cast because Daffy is so fucking arrogant that he will deny everything for truly and for himself.

More than half of the cast of Star vs deserves to be verbally murdered.

>You are the worst people I know
>First of all, you treat Steven like a tool, not a person. When was the last time any of you just spent time with the boy of your own volition? Anytime I see or hear about you all together, it's either putting his life at risk, or else him coming to you for help! I've never seen any of you actually approach him to get to know him or even just hang around! He always has to come to you!
>And what's up with that adventure thing anyway? He's a 14 year old boy for Crissake, and you all treat him like the reincarnation of Rose! Well he's not! He's Steven Universe, my son, and he deserves to have a childhood without worrying about saving the planet! Do any of you ever stop to think how he's going to have to deal with this when he gets older and has no education, no life skills and no connections? Je-suz, Garnet, for an alien that can see the future, you sure are shortsighted!

>And Garnet, while we're talking about you, I don't care how good it is, you can't go encouraging a 14 year old boy to have sex, or 'fusion', or whatever you call it! You gems might form fully grown, but Earth children simply don't have the emotional maturity to deal with these kinds of relationships! He's going to grow up with some serious commitment problems because you all fuse with whomever's nearby! And even if it's more permanent, it's the definition of a codependent relationship! Garnet, you can't spend time away from yourself for more than 24 hours without breaking down!

>Amethyst, I thought you might try to experience Earth culture with Steven, but all you're teaching him is instant gratification! Who cares if it makes you feel weird, eat it! Who cares about risk, just jump right in fighting! Who cares about other people's feelings, shapeshift into their dead wife! Yeah, I haven't forgotten about that!

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>And Pearl. Of all the Gems, I would have thought you would have cared for my son the most. But you flip from coddling him to, and I can't keep stressing this enough, risking his life with no warning! Hell, for the longest time, I don't think any of you gave him any combat training! Good thing he figured out how to get that shield, on his own! Sometimes I think you think that, deep down, he's still Rose Quartz. Well he's not! He's my son, not a Gem messiah, and I don't want him risking his life to solve all of the alien temper tantrums!

>But you know why I let it all happen? Because he's my son, and I want him to have opportunities that I can't give him. So I let him run around with you all to learn about a culture I've seen nothing but the worst of, praying like mad to any God that'll listen that you three don't come back empty handed saying 'we're so sorry'. I let him run around with you because he loves you so much. I let him run around with you because you're the only connection to his mother he has.

>And I'm STILL the one telling him everything half the time! For people who just about worshiped Rose Quartz, you all sure do a good job of sweeping any memory of her under the rug! I'm the one telling him about her personality, things she did here on Earth, and he's being forced to play adventure-detective-therepist with you to find out anything else!

>You're all horrendous, terrible, awful people, and if I didn't think that it would break his heart in half, I would pack up my van and take Steven with me to anyplace but here. Now, if you'll need me, I'll be in my van, jerking off to videos I made of your queen sucking my big, fat, mudercock.

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spbp

Someone did one for Marco

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Star Butterfly

Cringe.

Consider the following: Daffy roasting Daffy

>if you see Tom tell him I said "hi"

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>Literal, unironic victim blaming.
>When talking about a literal genocide.
>But she's still portrayed as being in the right.
Fuck the writers who thought this made any sort of sense, Superman was right to be pissed and Batman is a cunt who left him out to dry when he needed consolation and a voice of reason to guide him amidst Diana's sudden onset of insanity.

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>Lisa Simpson.
Any want to see Bart verbally tear into Lisa? Or Homer tears into Lisa? Or Milhouse tears into Lisa?

it would have to be Bart, Homer is too dumb to be accurately critical of his daughter, and Milhouse tearing into lisa would almost certainly have an incel feel

Holy shit Greg totally has a vhs of Rose sucking him dry in the van.

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Anyone to Korra.

Based

Has anybody ever really given it to Roger?

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she really needed a verbal undressing from Finn

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youtube.com/watch?v=dsGBegWS0a4
What did Seth mean by this?

-Spongebob
-Foggy Nelson (Comics)
-Foggy Nelson (Netflix)
-Karen Page (Netflix)
-Harley Quinn
-Roughly 105% of the X-Men
-Alfred

youtube.com/watch?v=JLtUYAHTmJI
they kinda did in the show

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Basically everyone in Bikini Bottom aside from Squidward and Karen. The entire city needs to be destroyed... or at least painted a different color.

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Fine! I admit I'm a complete of piece of shit.

I can't for write for shit, I act like an intellectual snob, I drink a lot, I AM 110% A FUCKING LOSER.

But the last thing I need is someone calling me out all my faults, especially from you!

You say I hit on Lois? Well, look at you! Ever since Peter started dating Lois, you've been stalking her for almost forever. I mean, you have a sex doll of her, got caught spying on her in the can, and went through our trash just to get her toenails. Hell, I bet you don't even love her! You want just to fuck her. At least I believe she deserves someone who respects her. I can't even understanding why Peter's still friends with you. Because if I were him, you'd be kicked out of this neighborhood and have your sorry ass in a prison where you're gonna "GET IT" for the rest of your life!

And let's not forget the other women you had your way with. Each and every one you plant your seed in and throw them away like trash. One of them being Cleveland's ex-wife. If it weren't for his nature, he would've bashed you until your is spread across your lawn. So not only do your disrespect your own friends’ lives, you treat the entire female population as if they're nothing more than objects.

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Greg is probably the least shit but he sure as fuck ain't clean. He dropped everything for a woman he met once at the end of a performance. Him and rose both agreed to have Steven, but had fuck all support for for when he actually arrived outside lolcrystalgems. Greg didn't even think to have a job before he was born. Rose told Greg nothing of what to expect, Greg did nothing to inquire on anything that might happen. Greg's life has been nothing but one burst of emotions and fleeting desires. He left home to live in a van and become a rockstar. He dropped it all just to fallow a woman he met for a couple of minutes. He had a kid but didn't even think of the responsibilities until her was already here. To top it off he sometimes does dumb shit like fake an injury just to spend time with his son, so just add that on top of it.

Weirdly, Mabel already got her callout moment in the sock puppet episode, from Bipper. It could’ve been more lengthy and nitpicky like Quagmire’s, but it still covered the main flaw of her character and role in her show: that Dipper constantly makes sacrifices for her and that she barely does shit back for him. The trouble is that that scene really didn’t serve as a turning point for her character. She made one small sacrifice on Dipper’s behalf in that moment, concluded that her actions still turned out the best for her and that she came out on top anyway- negating that sacrifice- and then proceeded back to the status quo of being a selfish little brat that always gets what she wants who Dipper repeatedly bends over backwards for for the rest of the show. But to be fair, she was called out on it, briefly, once.

I want one of the elves, doesn’t matter which, whether it be Rayla, Runaan, Aaravos, whoever, to sit down and take a good hard objective look at everything going on in the show, and then to call out basically all the “good guys” like Harrow, Callum, Sarai, etc, and to give a big Quagmire-like speech about how Viren is pretty much always right.

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The fact that Quagmire straight-up admits that he knows what he does is wrong and doesn't try to hide it basically confirms that he feels zero remorse for being a literal rapist. It's very strange to me that Sethy expects the audience to sympathize with Quagmire even after he's shown to be a repulsive monster and a condescending hypocrite to boot. Then again, no one in post-revival FG is likable or interesting because every character just screams unfunny dialogue and swears.

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I could do it if you let me know all the shit she’s done

And you're saying I'm a failure of a son?! Before he came into my life, he was a delinquent all the way to Ghettosville. So when I stepped up, I shaped him to become a better man than he was before! He only left because he needed to take care of his mother. But what about your kids, Glenn? Oh wait, you wouldn't know that because you straight left them in the hands of their mothers! You couldn't even raise one of your own kids right because of your sex-crazed environment!

Everything about you is FUCKING SEX, ISN'T IT? You're not only a convicted sex offender, but you’re both a pedophile AND a necrophiliac! Sure, you're also a military pilot, but rarely do we see you working. Guess it's because you're busy having your way with every stewardess in the mile-high club. In short, you straight up taint the female population with your diseased-ridden cock day in and day out without a care in the world.

And as for the rest of your little tirade, you're right. I admit to almost everything you said: I say things but don't act, I do a ton of stupid shit, et cetera, et cetera, et fucking cetera!

But just because you admit all the things you do is wrong doesn't make you a better person, it just proves you're an ungrateful sex-driven bastard who's feels no guilt at all.

In words you understand, Giggity Giggity Go fuck yourself!

she really needs to be called out

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>Lack of empathy
>Constant negligence of and lack of care for the lives of her friends and subjects after Season 4
>Amoral in her pursuit and defense of science, ends up putting her friends and subjects at risk on many occasions
>Despite being the effective leader of the Princesses, she always seems to be irresponsible in keeping Ooo safe in "fate of the world" situations

hehehehe wakey wakey quaggy

They have.

youtube.com/watch?v=fnRt_JEoBRU

Back in the Golden Era they used to poke fun at her tendency to be a self-righteous know-it-all. Then the show eventually shifted to supporting whatever she says or does.

>a literal rapist

And a pedophile

Quagmire might be a rapist, but at least he doesn't have a textbook liberal agenda. :^)

Holy fuck, what year is it? This sounds like a post from 2012

Wasn't even half enough roast.

I'm not sure if it would work.

>Daffy time travels
>Meets Daffy
>There can be only one Daffy
>Roast Wars that end in one comical slapstick gag after another to the point that the Daffy on Daffy contact levels the city
>optional: Daffy becomes the wizard

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Holy shit! He defeat himself and then ascends! Why isn't Warner funding this?? A multiverse Daffy wars would be insanely good!

Maybe they could have Mr. Burns or Moe or Snake do it.

>Quagmire might be a rapist, but at least he doesn't have a textbook liberal agenda. :^)
What's the difference?

Dipper going hard in Mabel

Pearl, let me ask you something. Remember when you said this once to Steven?

Humans just lead short, boring, insignificant lives, so they make up stories to feel like they're a part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.

Yeah, what I want to ask you in connection to it is the following: Did you even think about what you said before opening your mouth and spewing that piece of verbal diarrhia I expect someone as misanthropic as Rick Sanchez to say?

First off, in the name of humanity, fuck you, you racist cunt. Who are you to judge us and call our species and the lives we lead insignificant.
Oh sure, in the "cosmic" picture, we are more or less insignificant. And I will openly admit that yes, as a species we can be pretty awful in a group and as individuals and we live shorter lifes than other creatures, just as you.
But you know what most of us humans do, unlike you? WE LIVE OUR LIFES!

And we do not just live them, we grow with them. Unlike you and your entire species, we are born and grow as individuals and are not the result of some giant symbolic robot thing that looks like a virus putting gem dna into a planet, sucking it dry and then burst out a "fully grown" and "matured" gem. We grow. We mature. We change. You and your entire species on large however, are incapable of change.

And "insignificant"? Freaking Ronaldo has a more positive effect on the life of the humans around him than you ever will. After all, what effects did you have on the humans/gems you know in the present? You contributed towards Amethysts's self esteem issues, you got Steven almost killed at least three times because of your issues with your unrequested crush (btw, remind me to get back to that one later), you belittled Greg for years because he got to fourth base with Rose, you wanted to destroy Lapis instead of helping her, you brainwashed...

...you brainwashed Connie into becoming suicidal for Steven and belittling her own individuality and you raped Garnet. Yes, raped her. And in case you do not know what the word rape means, here is a suggestion: Read a dictionairy. Heck, read anything.

Cause frnakly, for a being who lives on this planet for as long as you do, you are pretty damn retarted when it comes to knowing things about humans and our cultures. It is actually surprising that Steven is JUST as dumb and naive as he is and not even worse, considering the closest thing to a teacher he ever had in life is you.

Speaking of your life on earth, how did you spend it? Oh right: You just sat there with your thumbs up your ass and entertaining Rose all day long. You are over 6000 years old and you could have done so much to contribute to the world. You could have introduced modern medicine to humans, write a book, freaking clean out some old rooms in your temple. Heck, Amethyst has done more in her life and all she does is just do whatever she thinks is funny.

But then again, if we judge you on doing something "significant" rather than something good with your life, it is safe to assume you did something really significant. After all, not many heroes can proudly and rightfully claim, that their actions and obsessive crushes on someone led to a genocidal civil war, in which millions of gems died.
You claim how the Diamond authority is evil, but you are a war criminal. You have helped your "mistress" to stage a war on both sides, exploited your so called "friends and allies" just for the chance to potentially lick Pink carpet
one day and never showed any remorse for your actions and the suffering they caused.
Cause after all, who cares about the millions od dead gems who can't even rest after they have been shattered, because their remains were then used to create a giant fusion ball in the center of the earth. Pink Diamond wanted to be free and live a hippie life fucking humans...

... and you wanted to be part of it and be hugged by her.

You claim that all the world's problems can't be pointed to one single enemy someone can fight? Every look you take in the mirror says otherwise, you unremorseful, arrogant, self righteous, neurotic insult to lesbian representation.

Pearl is based.
I love Pearl.

And don't you start now crying and tell me how sorry you are for all your mistakes, cause we both know three days from now you will do something arrogant or stupid as part of a neurotic fit again, potentially endangering the lives of those you claim to love.

You had over 6000 years time to change as a being for the better and so far you have failed. So why should I think you could change now within a few days or weeks? You want to do something good for this planet you claim to love -at least that is what you say in that extended theme song of yours- ? Shatter yourself. Perhaps in whatever counts as an afterlife for gems, you will finally face the judgement you deserve but do not get on this world because Rebecca Sugar has no idea what facing consequences is.

Not Finn, he is too beta and wrapped around her pretty little thumb. Simon. It has to be him. Hit the point even further home if he calls out Marceline, asking why she is settling when he knows she is so much better.

one only rapes twinks in maga hats ;)

That was actually pretty good. If only McFarlane had half the self awareness and skill to point this out when it was relevant. But hey, least he has that easy ticket and a near blank check.

Quagmire is a kidnapping, pedophile rapist

Have we ever seen Quagmire actually working at a soup kitchen?

Don't think so, but Quagmire's trope is being someone with a heart of solid gold when he's not banging chicks.

You're overreacting because it's Harley.
She's not actually blaming him, she's saying that she didn't legitimately expect what she was doing to actually work.

Medusa.

Harley is a fucking idiot then.

>who?
Hillary Clinton
>Who by?
Trump

>Who deserves to get verbally murdered like Quagmire did to Brian and more importantly, who should be the one to deliver the tirade?

Dipper
Dipper
DIPPER

He was such a shitty person, especially to Mabel, and never got called out on it in the series. I want to see Mabel tear into Dipper and really take him to task for all the terrible things he did and the selfish way he acted all throughout the series.

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And? People do tons of stupid shit when they don't think it would actually work. That's how we got Brexit.

To be a fly on the wall when Hillary saw she lost

Thats not an excuse for past crimes. Harley absolutely deserves to get trashed for all the live she ended.

I didn't say it was an excuse. You're reading far too much into everything and anything you read.

I want to see if I can get one of those Peter Griffin impersonators to say that whole copypasta, there’s only one I’ve seen who actively goes for offensive material though

She's basically a Democrat.

>get busted for arming mass murdering terrorists in the middle east
>get busted trying to use theses terrorist proxies to overthrow governments causing chaos in the region
>cause an illegal immigration crisis that puts everyone's lives in danger
>was fighting a literal proxy war with Russia and Syria, almost starting WW3
>Due to crazy anti-border and demographic change policies, may have set the world up for an enormous future race war conflict
>continue to fan the flames of anti-White and anti-Jewish sentiment pushing more and more Whites and Jews into violent right wing movements.
>Literally pretend to care about the "minorities" that aren't actually minorities that you mass slaughtered with military actions
>gets hacked
wahhhhh, we would have won the election if someone didn't spill our secrets!
we are the victims!
what kind of terrible person meddles in other peoples afairs? People need to respect borders now ! wahhhh.

I dunno I wanna see someone like Lisa getting verbally murdered by someone like Moe or Bart or even someone new to an episode.

>wahhhhh, we would have won the election if someone didn't spill our secrets!
>we are the victims!

You're being facetious, but Liberals literally accept this as an appropriate excuse, no questions asked. I mean, yeah, Hillary might have done all those things, BUT WHY WON'T DRUMPF RELEASE HIS TAX RETURNS HMMMMMM!?!? Checkmate, racists.

Not an excuse nor any reason not to shit all over Harley. You need to stop defending horrible people, you crazy cunt.

Did you just glitch out like in the matrix?

No. I just called out your hypocrisy, you pathetic waifufag.

Ah ok. So you're reading far too much into everything AND retarded at the same time. Got it.

Peggy Hill, although I think it's happened at least once.

I don’t think a full on speech ever happened but people like to burst her bubble when her ego is getting too pronounced

What season and episode is this? Haven't kept up with FG in years. I want to watch the whole thing.

Omi from Xaiolin Showdown, particularly by Jack Spicer.

Rai beating the shit out of him on the orders of Omi's literal idol Monk Guan was incredibly satisfying though.

>You're being facetious
Not really, it was actually worse than this in many ways because while they were fanning the flames of BLM and stir up racial conflict, they were literally allowing genocidal arabs to ethnically cleanse Blacks in Libya. They were also seeing Black Africans into slavery. Women were also getting turned into sex slaves and gang raped.

Liberals literally don't care about anything. They are just pure 1-2 step ruthlessness that will attack at whatever angle seems convenient at the time.

Bait is weak user

Nope.
I see a waifufag defending his shit taste waifu and did what anyone should.

>ends with: "Ahhh you're justh jealous!"

>wants the USA to play world police when history has proven they fuck it up every single time
>thinking that the US Govt gives a shit about "helping" anyone who can't be beneficial to them

You're probably too young to remember things like the Cuban Missle Crisis and Vietnam and Iraq and Afganistan.
Also,
>they were fanning the flames of BLM and stir up racial conflict
Maybe stop giving cops a slap on the wrist and rehiring them when they fuck up if you don't want to stir up racial conflicts. And I know you're gonna bring up >m-muh Mike Brown, and yeah, Ferguson was kind of embarrassing. Still, it doesn't excluse the murders of John Crawfordd III, Eric Garner, Philando Castile, Tamir Rice, and Botham Shen Jean.

Roger is amazing. And extremely scary. Like, holy shit I think he's slowly taking over the entire city with himself, and replacing the humans. Think about it. He's like an alien mockingbird, getting different lifeforms to trust him, and then completely taking over their lives, and eventually them.

>Roger's species was engineered by a long-dead race to be planet-clearing bioweapons
>they're impossibly fast, incredibly durable, fireproof, they float, capable of perfectly blending in to any populace, and all of them have a maniacal gift for complex machiavellian machinations
>but they're also all a bunch of fey pansexual weirdos with self-destructive levels of hedonism so by and large they never get anything done outside of doing lots of drugs, having lots of sex, and annoying everyone around them

All is in balance.

I don't even think Roger is actually one of his original species. None of the rest of his species display resilience and powers like he does. That alien species was just where he first infiltrated. As he acclimatizes to earth he becomes better and better at copying earth culture. This is why in the early seasons he had to hide more, and in the later seasons he comprises like, 20% of the city.

They made the mistake of going full-edge with the "horny pest" character. If he was a normal example of the type he would be merely annoying rather than criminal and his rant would work. Or if they want to keep the "we went there" jokes you can't pretend he isn't a monster.

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>Now, if you'll need me, I'll be in my van, jerking off to videos I made of your queen sucking my big, fat, mudercock.
I would pay good fucking money to see him say this shit to pearl. She'd probably end herself on the spot if she didn't already die of shock.

Why is Quagmire so irritable now? It seems like every scene he's in he's always pissed

That’s the exact reason why it has to be Finn

It'll end up like Christopher's intervention in the Sopranos.

none of this is even remotely as a big a deal as you make it out to be

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Really? He just seems like he's always passively agressively irritated with everyone.

Cringe

One could just as easily use this cop-out to describe Brian's antics.

>I-I wanted Superman to save the day!
>Cheering Joker on as he kills Jimmy Olsen in cold-blood.
>Helped Joker install the trigger to the nuke in Lois Lane
Fuck Harley, she deserved to get chucked into the sun by supes just as badly as Joker if not worse.

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Quagmire is the last person who should have lashed out at him. Lois would have made better sense, or even Peter, Joe or Meg. The Quagmire hates Brian subplot came out of nowhere and that episode pissed me off when it first aired. Of course Quagmire got no repentance for his shit.

This. Greg tries, but he's still pretty shit for willingly putting a child in the whole situation.

A five minute rant by Mac before leaving Bloo at the home

Beast by Cyclops. He got off waaaay too easy in that trial arc by Bendis.

Every character in Steven Universe is unforgivably horrendous. There are few stories where I would unquestionably push a button & kill every member of its cast, but Steven Universe is one of them.

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Despite the show's obvious left lean, Mr. Burns, a white conservative rich heterosexual male, is still a recurring voice of reason and reliable source of authority within the Simpsons universe. Pretty much any time he's on screen he is awarded a seemingly obligatory modicum of respect (if not outright fear) by everyone around him. Whenever he's annoyed with a character or situation his insults, criticisms and observations are always on-point, tempered by over one hundred years of life experience. He is one of the few characters who can rein in Homer's idiocy, Bart's delinquency, Lisa's know-it-all activism and whatever the writers decided to make Marge today. It's been shown that, even when robbed of his wealth and left in the gutter, he can recover through his own ingenuity and rebuild himself. He's pretty much brainwashed the most efficient man in town into being his loyal slave. He's worked with everyone from the Nazis, the U.S. government, the Japanese and non-Nazi Germany, playing them pretty much every single time. Yet at the same time he's fallen victim to the Cuban government, the vagaries of old age (which to be fair he can't control) and a baby with a gun. He's exceptionally proud of who he is and, whether winning or losing, he remains consistently entertaining.

I don't know if it's brilliant writing or a total accident, but even when Lisa is coddled by the writing team Mr. Burns sits at the top of the pile. He may easily be labeled the single most successful character in the Simpsons universe. Even Hank Scorpio had his evil lair destroyed; Burns hasn't had to replace anything in his office throughout the series' entire run. And, again, he's a decrepit old heterosexual rich white man. What did they mean by this?

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who else but quagmire

Didn't she already do that in that one episode, when Steven kept seeing that robot going through the portals and no one believes him? It was funny as shit

youtu.be/pYDF-LXH_UE found the clip

It adds to the humor for me, since Quagmire's points are still legit. Nothing wrong with the idea that even a horrible person like Quagmire can still see Brian's bullshit.

>Victim of the Cuban government
I dont know what you mean. What bill?

Good forbid any character have flaws
What happened to all the people asking for naunced characters in the 10s? Now you have them and all you do is complain that they aren't perfect

>Recurring voice of reason
Here's your (you), you feel better now?

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>jolly comic relief character reaches a breaking point and verbally tears everyone else a new one
I really wish I saw this more often, especially for a character who was totally chipper up until then. Probably the best example is when Flanders rants to everyone else in Hurricane Neddy.

WHICH ONE OF YOU STOLE MY NEWSPAPER??

At first I was gonna say how cool it'd be if Bill's confrontation forced the characters to rethink themselves & mature, but then I realized that's actually something most competent stories do but GF didn't know how to pull off.

Your writing blows, Rebecca

>thinking that the US Govt gives a shit about "helping" anyone who can't be beneficial to them
That's the exact point he was making; the left paints itself as morally-guided saviors but are just selfish politicians like all the others.

>If vague problem exists, then the problems you pointed out don't exist! Checkmate!
Next time, just try thinking for 2 seconds before kneejerking.

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Meg would've been a good choice, since she's front seat to a lot of his antics and has experience ripping people apart.

>Maybe stop giving cops a slap on the wrist and rehiring them when they fuck up if you don't want to stir up racial conflicts
Alternatively do a bit of screening before even hiring cops and teach primarily minority communities not to act like retards around them to stir the pot. You don't get to resist arrest and act like a fucking violent primitive and then wonder why the officer shows you how the Mozambique drill works.

What comic?

your neuron must be lonely by it's self

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Is this Quagmire hates Brian subplot still going?

Out of that lengthy tirade the only one that I'd say Quagmire shouldn't be calling Brian out on is the Lois thing considering how many times he's been perving it up when it comes to her. Like that one time he mistook what Lois meant about "tearing off the carpet" or trying to insert himself into a threesome when Peter and Lois were both high as fuck.

So, something like this?
youtube.com/watch?v=Zj0tivNBGuo

Toph, but reality already did that in the form of Lin.

>you pretend to love women for their souls but you only date bimbos
he fell in love with one of those bimbos and she broke up with him and broke his heart so he is wrong on this one

If the movie was cannon he did have his entire mansion looted under the dome incident.

I get that Family Guy is a show about awful people and nonsensical concepts and all but the whole Quagmire beating up Brian scene was weird. Brian couldn't have been conveniently left at home alone while the Griffins were out doing something because Quagmire immediately finds him upstairs hiding under the bed after he asks where he is. So instead of asking what the hell Quagmire was so angry about, they just ratted out Brian like that? Not only that but as Quagmire beats the shit out of their pet/best friend and destroys their property during the process, no one intervenes at all?

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Stewie's an evil baby who's also friends with Brian. He can pretty much have it both ways unless he decides to intervene if Quag threatens Brian's life.

Toph never claimed to be anything more than what she is, a powerful master of earthbending with no regard for society or the law or anything but her own whims. On what basis would Quagmire verbally murder her? "Oh Toph you're selfish and a bad cop". She'd be like "no shit".

>google "lisa killed off simpsons"
you're welcome

Unironically this.

Why was Quagmire even mad? Brian fucked his dad not even knowing his dad's identity.

user she'd verbally obliterate Quagmire.

I hope he burns it to DvD before the tape gets too worn

nani?

>"payable to drugs"

There's a difference from writing "flaws" to being so fucking oblivious how fucking repulsive your character is

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In Quagmire's defense, I think anyone would be mad if their most hated enemy fucked one of their family members. Quagmire also probably thought that Brian did it on purpose to spite him and since Brian can be pretty spiteful like that time he gave Stewie and Chris herpes, it would be in-character for him to do something like that. Sure none of that gives him an excuse to walk into someone's home unannounced and beat the shit out of them over a having consensual sex with another adult but you can't deny that there isn't a reason to be angry. If anything, shouldn't Brian press charges not only against Quagmire but his father as well? I don't know about the laws in Rhode Island but I thought it was a crime to have sex with someone without disclosing the fact that you transitioned beforehand.

>cringe meme
Underaged outed.

Quit crying because nobody liked your fanfic.

Have you heard the Democrats apologise?

>wants the USA to play world police when history has proven they fuck it up every single time
>thinking that the US Govt gives a shit about "helping" anyone who can't be beneficial to them
What?
>You're probably too young
No. Nobody is saying necons aren't scum too, but we are just pointing out that the Demorats don't give a fuck about the scummy things they do while simultaneously virtue signalling.
The right wing are basically ousting the old necons. The left aren't ousting shit, they are actually just getting dumber.

>Maybe stop giving cops a slap on the wrist and rehiring them when they fuck up if you don't want to stir up racial conflicts.
How about we just smack Black criminals harder, smack Democrats harder and smack stupid idiot terrorist groups like BLM harder instead?
>murders
How many people were murdered in Libya and Syria because of Democratic terrorism?

I feel like Jake would be the one to tell her off

I really want someone to write Jake telling off PB now

I want Jake to be the one to deliver all the speeches in this thread.

Or a Rapist/Pedophile calling out a Smug Liberal.

Francine did that one time kinda
Then he tried being good but it was killing him
And then Stan beat him up

Fuck off.

He's one of the rare good parts of Zombie Simpsons.
>That episode where he loses his memory and the whole town fucks with him
>Then he gets his memory back and learns he's only being kept alive by the sheer hatred he has for everyone around him
>"Daddy's home."

dilate.

>Even when he's not in disguise, he's still in disguise
>"Roger Smith" is just another persona

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Johnny Bravo by Donnie Osmond.

>confirms that he feels zero remorse for being a literal rapist
I don't think any rapists feel remorse for raping people. At most they probably just fear consequences.

Oscar Proud could verbally demolish his entire family, divorce his wife, and avoid his children until the day he dies and he'd still be in the right.

Finn wouldn't work. It'd either be unrealistic and cringy or it'd end with Bubblegum mindfucking him and making him apologize for calling her out on her bullshit. Only way it'd work is if Jake goaded him into doing it as a joke, got surprised at him actually going through with it, and then backed him up and eventually took over the roast for him after Finn becomes a stuttering mess that can't say anything due to pent up anger.

Steven Universe To Dipper Pines

Fuckin' nice.

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Fuck off.

WATCH IT DAFFY

Pretty much why Huey is never really liked, once the whole wise beyond your years shit gets old. People get sick of you and call you annoying.

Honestly? It should be Joe.

Joe should just have enough of Quagmire's bullshit and just lay him out but it can be looked as psychotic almost.

Tbh I feel like the only reason Quagmire isn’t rotting in a Quahog cell right now is because he’s friends with Joe.

except huey has way more losses than wins. most of the time when he tries doing the right thing, the world pretty much tells him hes wrong which leads to grandpa and riley shitting on him. or thry dont listen to him at the start and shit manages to fall apart. what can anyone say to him? "for a pessimist you sure are optimistic?"

Here's an extended version:

>Hold up, Glenn. I wanna say that you’re right. You’re absolutely right about almost everything about me. I can’t write, my intellect is lower than I say it is, and I drink a lot. In your words, I’m basically “a big, sad, alcoholic bore".

>But to hear that from you, of all people? It’s so funny, I forgot to laugh because you’ve got the BALLS to say that considering what you are! So allow me to deconstruct your little speech.

>Like let’s start off with Lois. You say I constantly hit on her? This comes from a man in his 60s who’s been stalking her ever since Peter started dating her. I mean, you have a sex doll of her, got caught spying on her in the can, and went through our trash just to get her toenails. I bet you don’t even love her really, you just lust all over her. At least I believe that she deserves someone who’s respect the most.

>And speaking of wives, remember Loretta? Cleveland’s ex-wife? With no hesitation, you decided to have sex with one of your best friend’s lover without caring that it will completely destroy their marriage. Had it not been for Cleveland sparing you, your blood and brains would’ve been spilled all over your front lawn. I can't even understand why you’re still friends with them. Because if Peter had a sense in mind, you'd be kicked out of this neighborhood and go straight to prison where you belong.

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This

>Jake offhandedly mentions one of bubblegums worse qualities and has an idea to dare finn to insult her
>Finn begrudgingly accepts only to go into a minutes long rant about why she’s a huge piece of shit and is to angry to the point where he literally can’t say anything
I’d actually love for an user to do this

>It’s not just them you’re disrespecting, it’s the entire female population! Sure, you say you date bimbos and admit being honest about it, but your so-called honesty is merely crappy pick-up lines and drugging their drinks. After that, you just plant your seed in them and throw them away as if they were used tissues. In short, you just treat everyone as mere objects.

>As for your implication that I’m a bad father, how dare you! When Dylan came into my life, he was a delinquent heading straight to Ghettosville. But when I stepped in, I raised him to be a better person than he was before. The only reason he left because he needed to take care of his mother. So what about your kids? Oh wait, you wouldn't know that because you straight up left them in the hands of their single mothers! Hell, you couldn’t even raise one baby because it’s a hazard to your environment.

>Just everything about you is FUCKING SEX, ISN'T IT? You don’t care who it is as long as it has a hole in it. You're not only a convicted sex offender, but you’re a pedophile, zoophiliac necrophiliac! Sure, you're also a military pilot, but rarely do we see you working. Guess it's because you're busy having your way with every stewardess in the mile-high club. You taint everything in sight with your diseased-ridden dick day in and day out without a care in the world.

>As for the rest of your little tirade, I again agree on almost everything you say: I say things but don't act, I act pretentious, I do a ton of stupid shit, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! But let me tell you this, just because you admit all the things you do is wrong doesn't automatically make you a better person, it just proves you're an ungrateful sex-driven bastard who has no sense of guilt at all.

>So to end this speech, Giggity Giggity Go fuck yourself!

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Who’s delivering it?

Greg presumably

Yea Forumsmblr strikes again

Priyanka

Sort of. There was an episode where Francine really let him have it.

I don’t think you’ve quite got it. Heroes and villains have always had an odd relationship.

Think Captain Cold and The Streak.

It doesn’t have anything to do with “being cute and silly”. It’s them giving her a shot at redemption.

Why not use Joe for this scene and premise? I figured if any of Peter's friends wouldn't like Brian it would have been Joe or Cleveland.

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Also why would Bryan be so keen about Quagmires approval of all people?

I don’t think anyone needs reminding. It’s objectively the reason he was denied the spin-off.

Not that user but in my opinion, It's because Brian is very narcissistic and can't stand it when someone doesn't like every iota of his personality.

What episode is this?

>oh the poor jews
Fuck off kike, this is your fucking doing.

>"Tell my wife I said hello"

Based

Not so much that he's a sex pest but since the Brian rant he's become a jaded cynic and the new writers pet

>John Travolta
This gets me every time