You know, if you've gotta hench in Gotham, it's really safest to hench for the Riddler; sure you'll look stupid, but you won't get shot by the boss for a laugh and there's actually a chance you'll get paid before the Bat swoops in and stops your plan.
Unlike the Joker, because God knows the life expectancy of his Henchemen is measured in seconds.
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Riddler is known for treating his henchmen as disposable. Often times when he plans to escape from a crime scene, he tends to just plan for HIM and not for the rest. He frequently leaves Query and Echo to fend for themselves and when they confront him on why he would ditch them, he responds with, "I knew you would make it back".
But he doesn't actually give a shit if you do.
That's because he has a massive dick and they're sizequeens
Source: My ass
If I have to hench for a supervillain I'd just hench for the Penguin instead. It's probably the most like working for a regular ass mob boss.
>Source: My ass
As in the Riddler's giant dick is currently up your ass?
No
He's been known to feed those who fail to his penguins
Penguin, Riddler and Mr.Freeze are okay to work for, I guess. Joker and two-face are the worst.
Nah, I'd rather hench for the Penguin. He seems like he would pay well just help maintain that wealthy cultured facade. Plus it seems generally safer and he has great taste in henchwomen.
if thee arkham games are anything to go on, his mooks always looked like they got treated well, nice coats and shit and they always had the best gear
Ehhh, Two-Face is 50/50. Now Zsazz and Scarecrow, those two are bad news
Mr. Freeze usually doesn't care if he has henchmen around or not. Most of the time, henchmen don't even exist in his mind as the only sentient being he gives a frozen crap about is his near-dead wife.
I can't stand this whole Riddler vs. Joker hench debate because they're both fucking awful and are only getting meme'd to hell and back because they're the big boys in Gotham. I henched for 2 weeks for some guy who called himself "Lord Death Man" and it was comfy as fuck. He taught me yoga and shit, and even helped me detox my liver with some homeopathic smoothie he made each morning. I probably would've kept working for him, but he died in a powerline accident or something. THE POINT IS smalltimers treat their henchmen well, because they know that more often then not, henchmen are going to be throwing their life away chasing that supervillain meme money.
That's just a rumor right? Penguins can't actually eat human flesh right?
Penguins make do user. Trust me on this, I hunched for the man years back when we went to the Antarctic to pick up some Penguins right from the source from some handlers. He's odd like that, we were on this swanky luxury ice breaker, nuclear powered and shit.
Some boob flushed something he shouldn't have and near blew out the plumbing of his area, Penguin was in it too so he had to move out of his suite which was awesome mind you. So he tossed him overboard without gear, next morning we found his body being pecked on by the penguins
I miss these two
Penguin can be a good boss, someone post those pages where he is firing the staff of the iceberg lounge because intergang was about to attack
you know who'd i hench for in a heartbeat? matches malone.
He's pretty good, but I've been hearing things about this new guy on the block, Patch he calls himself. Odd hair but he seems friendly enough. Any other info? I hear he got drive by'd and just got back up, I think he's one of them Metahumans, regeneration or some shit.
Why would Zsasz need henchmen?
I'd work Calendar Girl.
I really want one of those henchman sweaters.
And one of those derby hats
user google a picture of the inside of a penguins beak and think about it
What is your guys strategy for takin out the bat when he finally jumps down from da rafters?
I like to shout 'IT'S THE BAT' and run straight at him, swinging wildly.
Taser whips, net guns, AA-12s
Matches never hires henchmen though, I've never known him to pull a big enough heist on his own where he call up any of his acquaintances.
He's smart enough to be just enough under the radar that none of the cops or the Bat think of him as anything more than just another face in the crowed as they chase the boss in the flashy costume.
He sometimes hires out for casing a joint. Like that time he had some of us casing a bank that got knocked over by Penguin's guys.
Not a sweater but still effinbirds.com
>2nd most dangerous
Gotham needs to step it's game up. Who's first? Chicago again?
Honestly we'd just be the guy who work at his bar.
Hub City.
I don't really have a plan to stop him mono y mono, but I remember when me, Vinny, and Big Tooth Charlie tried to help Polka Dot Man rob a bank once. Ya never notice how many gargoyles the inside of a bank has until you see two of your friends hanging unconscious from one. Next time I go out henching, I'm gonna strap a bomb to one of those statues and see what happens.
I take back what I said, Gotham may have a slumbering Old One underneath it making the place shitty but Hub City is shittier without said God.
Hub City, home of The Question.
Where even the firefighters have to be armed.
Must be turning a corner if they have firefighters again.
Radical.
>Working for a guy that likes to explode buses of disabled children
I like to believe I have standards user. He's got style though, gotta admit.
Harley Quinn easily.
It's basically just the joker's gang but with a boss who cares and a occasional side switch
Let's be real, the penguin hasn't really needed to commit a crime in years, he just does it to feel like a young man again.
man if there was a fucking skeleton-themed supervillain i would work for him even if i didn't get paid
How about Ivy, would she be a good boss?
You only exist as fertilizer in her mind. If you're lucky, you'll go out on a poison kiss and not be thrown to her man-eating plants.
what If I become a shape shifter and pretend to be a plant?
She'll know you're not a plant when she realizes her telepathy has no power on you.
Well kids it's time to skedaddle, time to see is plastic man needs a side kick.
kite man is better
kek