Why are the X-men so bad at protecting their students?

>The youth mortality rate at Xavier's school rivals that of many child soldier rings
man, it's almost like some sort of fired clay based art.

I wonder if somewhere, in middle America, there is a guy working a regular 8 to 6 office job that actually graduated from Xavier School but never brings it up, it is the guy who always fixes the copy machine and the wifi.

Where would they get a job, Xavier academy diplomas are even more worthless than regular diplomas.

It literally is a child soldier ring.

Now I'm really wondering about the accreditation process.

Is Xavier’s school an actual school? Like math, science, English? Are they accepted by the Board of Education?

I assume that the students who's mutant powers are things like "Change the tv channel by blinking" probably quietly just finished their studies off screen and left.

well Beast gives science lectures and does actual shit, so they HAVE to have something going on.

Mind powers.

>Xavier academy diplomas are even more worthless than regular diplomas.
That is kinda my point.

>Go to job interview
>Say I graduated from Xavier's with honors
>Get a funny look
>I am told that place no longer exists
>I handle my originals to the interviewer
>They cannot validate this information because the mansion has blown up so many times they lost my records
>I graduated with a perfect score on 3 different types of super-science specialties
>None of that matters because there is no record of it and the originals I got are from Xavier's (Now Jean Grey's)
>One year later
>Apply for night school
>Get my GED
>Go to phoenix online college
>Only job I can get is in the mailroom of some Roxon subsidiary in Ohio.

T-Thanks muties

Beast is a certified scientist and the school board is filled with all kinds of other super geniuses, so yeah.

> not really accredited
> ripoff diploma mill
> honor Jean Grey by renaming the school
> University of Phoenix

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Actually it is like Standford, or it was when Schism happened. They even got lectures from the FF so if you managed to survive, skills alone would grant you an easy pass into ARM, Stark or any fictional super science laboratory.

The question is how the accreditation works or what reputation does it have? Is it better or worse than a state university or is it more like community college?

They literally lose like 20 kids every day.

Ha ha ha ha ha

Because those aren’t students, those are child soldiers who were tricked into participating in a stupid fucking culture war only to be used as expendable pawns so their deaths can be used as propaganda to further the Mutant Warmongering Agenda

The deaths probably don’t help at all. Might be considered lower than community college

Ike Perlmutter.

>Have any student ever graduated the Xavier school for gifted children successfully?

Hank McCoy. He's only furry because he graduated, got a job, and started experimenting on himself like an idiot.
To a lesser extent, the rest of the First Class, who had jobs and the like before being dragged back into the X-Orbit.

Jubilee was trying to be an actress in LA for a while after she graduated.

They aren't good at protecting their students' graves either

Predator X ate a bunch of mutant corpses in the school cemetery
Kaga stole Wallflower's corpse and turned her into some sort of meat sentinel

>Jubilee
baby

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I don't know, if someone would claim to be a survival expert and showed you his / her Xavier's diploma that alone would be enough to get a job position in Spec Ops.

The baby came way, way later.
Her Actress period was in her solo book after Generation X ended.

>Furry
>Single Mom
Ah, so you either die or you become a wreck.
That is some great track record.

She stole that baby, and then killed his father when he came to save him from his vampire kidnapper who was being shielded by a bunch of mutants.

because they have a baby bird in a nest mentality due to all the kids. or they just dont give a fuck and put a bunch on a damn bus...

You'd think they'd check the bus for explosives or have it be more closely guarded before they loaded all those kids onto it.

Kind of hard to maintain a graveyard when even just your school building is constantly getting destroyed.

The fuck is up with the feet?

At this point, it seems mutants are safer staying as far away as possible from the institute than joining them.
Those X emblems are nothing but big targets.

Kurt just read a demonic passage to make them all sink into the underworld.

Fuck muties.
With the way his comic is going, I wouldn’t be shocked if his new body is a mutant now for no reason

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Damn.

>Why are the Avengers so bad at protecting their students?

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Mutants are bad at everything

>pass the fucking graveyard
>three hours later, still passing the graveyard

>Carol Danvers gets a pass on beating up Spider Man in a room on the word of a shitty precog because it’s not like Marvel has ever had precogs amirite because she’s military
>T’challa gets a pass on withholding cancer from the world because he’s foreign royalty
>Tony gets a pass on that one time he spiked everyone with nanites because he’s rich and famous
>Richards and Strange get off scott free on the Illuminati and literally bringing the Devil to the physical plane of existence because of a snap impulse resurrection of Vegas because they’re so smart nobody in the government knows what the hell to charge them with
>Wanda House of M’d everyone that one time but that’s okay, it wasn’t REALLY her fault, did I mention she’s a member in good standing of the mystic community?
>Magik has pretty much given up on mutants and embraced being a literal Lord of Hell, and that’s worked out fucking great for her

You want to know the real reason? It’s because the X-Men keep snubbing the US government, if they either sucked up to them or stopped fighting long enough to represent their own unified political demographic like all those people I listed the mugga prejudice would be whitewashed easy p. Hell they’d probably sponser finding a cosmic cube to scrub their record clean like how Cap has just kind of come back into his regular life after HAIL HYDRA if only muggas were willing to beat civilians up /on behalf of the government/

Because cyclops uses then as cannon fodder

Beast, Iceman, and Kitty Pryde all graduated from Xavier's School and went to college and graduated there too. Beast even somehow got multiple PhDs in a ridiculously short amount of time even if we ignore comic book time.

I know nothing about X-Men whatsoever, but are you telling me Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters is an actual school and not just a halfway house for mutants? It's not only a school, but it's also the base of a vigilante group that is hated by the entire planet? I know it should've been obvious it's a school, but I just thought the school thing was a masquerade so they could explain why they had so many kids going back and forth from the place. Next you're gonna tell me the mutants are in the same universe as the rest of Marvel and that they aren't in an alternate reality where all the other superheroes don't exist and that's why everyone is specifically terrified of mutants.

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Confess you made this thread just to make this joke.

Technically, you can blame the nanite thing on the Red Skull and the inversion. I’m sure Tony’s done other shit, though.

Ah yes, the same universe where Namor the Sub-Mariner, terrorist of the surface world, is widely held in esteem because he punched a nazi or two that one time. The same universe where the US government, after finding out the Hulk is some sort of Super Satan avatar, promptly started trying to dissect him to make their own super devil avatars and hired Carol’s crew to bring him in because only the US government deserves a monopoly on the souls of the damned I guess. The same universe where recently a goddess of darkness tried to subsume the entire cosmos into darkness, and somehow came off as the wronged party given the Olympians’ decision to mutilate and bench her was literally unprovoked proto-mugga prejudice.

>The same universe where the US government, after finding out the Hulk is some sort of Super Satan avatar, promptly started trying to dissect him to make their own super devil avatars and hired Carol’s crew to bring him in because only the US government deserves a monopoly on the souls of the damned I guess.
Honestly the most realistic thing you said.

One thing that DOES stand out in recent times is that Ikaris told Tony how humans (and gods, and kree human hybrids, and people possesed by spirits of vengeance etc) can form their own Uni-Mind. It’s not an innate power or anything, it’s literally just a weird technique taking advantage of how humans are apparently a kind of CelestIt’s so powerful that after they just kind of captain planet everyone’s powers into Ghost Rider, he oneshot a bunch of DAAAAAARK Celestials that themselves had wiped out like a hundred regular Celestials on their own. It’s so easy Tony only needs T’challa fiddling with dials and wires, the modern cucked and nerfed Strange doing some on-the-fly magic and Carol...standing around and recharging her chakra...? Look the point is, this happened in the middle of said daaaaaaaaark Celestial invasion. It is an incredible security asset, and indisputable proof once and for all that muggas are a dead end while humans would be the dominant species of the universe if they could go 5 minutes without needing someone to wipe their ass for them.

...
...AND LIKE THE CURE FOR CANCER, DID TONY THINK TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT? DID HE EVEN THINK IT /MIGHT/ BE A SECURITY CONCERN TO KNOW EARTH IS ONE CHARLES MANSON-LED KUMBAYA AWAY FROM COSMIC DEVASTATION?

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

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maybe they would live more if they actually went to school to learn, than to join a paramilitar groups to go fight absolutely everyone in the planet every week.

isnt she a goddamn vampire teen mom?
is that the best example?

You know I’m amazed Marvel’s China isn’t a dead zone of horrific, Supergod-tier abominations crawling out of the ruins of civilisation. I say this as a resident: If our government knew how to make Hulks we’d be drowning in them right now and they’d be trying to figure out how to upgrade them into Doomsdays.

.....they go out and actively seek out people who would want them dead.
It isn’t like they’re being taken out by some burglar with a pea shooter

I mean...COMPARATIVELY?! It’s pretty sad that despite being an immortal soul siphoning sociopath who became a goddess that one time by infesting people with a technovirus, Selene Gallio is literally more well adjusted and downright sensible than 99% of muggas.

Jubilee was cured of her vampirism and got her mutant powers back over a year ago.

how many people know wakanda has a cure for cancer?

Jubilee name now is Selene Gallio? fuck, gimme my assault sentinel

the same amount of people who don't give a shit about curing cancer, apparently

they left them at the care of Hank Pym. I am sure everyone learned from that mistake

my point is, if wakanda is witholding, its foolish to think they are the only ones.or they could be like stark and drop one with ulterior motives

to be fair, pym at least cares about those kids. arcade just did a good grab

hank pym is a self sabotaging genius... he would be a great teacher, but I ain't leaving my kids to the guy who created goddamn Ultron while trying to invent a roomba!!!

That is kind of the plot of Beyond two souls.

X-men are fucking morons. they could easily create a city on the goddamn Moon and live there without problems

I'll assume the father was evil or something, I don't think they just murdered a random dude so Jubilee could keep the baby.

>LOGAN, IVE GOT A PLAN, ONE MORE JOB. YA JUST GOTTA TRUST ME

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who on the avengers would you leave your kids with? most heroes arent trustworthy to be with kids

Currently or all time? Probably Cap or Beast

Hulk

>The graveyard is it's own pocket plane
>Practically infinite you swear

Cap. Thor. and if in a pinch even Tony Stark. they are not the kind who would let anyone touch a kid under they care.
but Tony only in emergencies.

Just 3?

really.
like, really man?

>LOGAN, I'VE GOT A PLAN, IT INVOLVES YOU... AND JEEEEAAAANNNN!!!!

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Havok, Polaris and some of the New Mutants also went to college.

So far those two goofs have gotten like 6 of their former students killed all within one fucking run.

Boy, She-Hulk before she became retarded. Girl, Wolverine has mentored at least four teenage girls successfully. If neither are available then Cap.

cap i can buy. thor is like that uncle that the kids love because he doesnt really give a shit on their level, but will get your kids involved in some shit depending on beasts level of deterioration, it could be a good or bad thing. no to stark. i wouldnt trust him towatch my sandwich let alone kids

Everyone else died

damn, i wrote a garbled mess here....

is she hulk good with boys? outside of them lustfully doing what she wants? and wolverine is a good pick

She-hulk
boy or girl they are hanging out with 1 a fun character 2 a sexy fun character and 3 a fun sexy lawyer that is strong as fuck

some more than once

Not all X-men deaths are equal. Some of them get better.

Truly the world outside your window

>T’challa gets a pass on withholding cancer from the world because he’s foreign royalty
He has the cure? And he let Mar-Vell die?

Only Inhuman niggas do that.

who's the youngest student to die?

>be me
>be mutie
>have the power to heal
>a week ago some people come to my home and tell me about a school for my kind
>enter the school gate
>pass the fucking graveyard
>mom is looking in horror, dad is saying this is a bad idea
>meet a blond bombshell 9/10
>mom asks about the graveyard
>9/10 blond bombshell gives them an odd look
>mom and dad "will everything find now and we have nothing to worry about"
>what?
>"take care son"
>both of them leave me here
>meet cute redhead
>tells me that I like men
well I like men now

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Sammy the fish kid I think, Juggernaut's buddy. He was like 11 or 12.

Wound't people able to heal be immune to brainwash? Your mind isn't some software people can rewrite that easily, they would need to change the synapses on your brain cell to change you and if that is the case your healing would be able to return you to normal.

was just a example. they could make a city anywhere

>that shit writing
Is it Aaron, right?

There are also literally robots built to eradicate them and entire movements dedicated to bringing back the guillotine for them.

>I know it should've been obvious it's a school, but I just thought the school thing was a masquerade
it was like this for decades until the first Xmen movie, since then they had to make it a real school in the comics. Always felt weird that a bunch of assholes and loners sudenly care about teaching little kids.

You know, its shit like these that make me glad Dr Doom get to rule the world in an alternate universe and brought up the quality of life to ALL people on Earth. He didn't withhold anything unlike literally everyone in the world, ever.

Then he fly into space and fight celestial giant because he can.

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Does squirrel girl count..
I don't want her if she comes with the whole GLA.

When did they start having actual kids at the academy? Pre-2000's wasn't their youngest like 15?

Seriously, at least 20% of Hulk storylines have the cute kid getting shot by the antagonist in the middle of calming Hulk down so Hulk can go on a big climactic rampage of vengeance.

>will everything find now

Comic psychics are basically magic user. People like Wolverine or Flash who should really be immune to their bullshit never are.

Bitch please, Ewing did it first

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Xavier or Emma or whomever most likely rewrites their memories every year so that they never truly graduate.

kek'd

Someone has but all forgot because of his power.

It's canon that China kills all mutants before they are born via legalized gene testing of all unborn babies. And any mutant kids who slip through the cracks are forced to be trained assassins for the Chinese government.

This was explored in X-Force Annual #3, when Sunspot is revealed to be selling mutants he was "rescuing" back to the Chinese government to fund his version of the Mutant Liberation Front.

which universe was that?

I forgot which issue. It was drop in this board many years ago. Basically, Dr Doom decided to give humanity his tech. Following this, he talk to Ms Fantastic and say something the naming of her child being base on him. Then he went to hell, beat up the demon and free his mother. Then he went into space and beat up a bunch of space giant. He then came back to Earth, which was near the end of it and he can't do anything to fix it. What he did instead is going it the Earth's core or something and the last panel was him being a farmer or something.

You're forgetting that people are specifically scared of Mutants because a sentient Mind controlling mold parasite has infested all of humanity and is trying to kill mutants because they're immune to infestation.

And god I wish I was making that up.