Take a show of your choice that you feel could be improved and rewrite parts of it.
Take a show of your choice that you feel could be improved and rewrite parts of it
Blake Reed
Owen Watson
They don't go to New York.
Jordan Lopez
I'm in the process of making it.
Alexander Kelly
Make it about Star coming to terms about being a Cuckquean
Nolan Robinson
Ignore everything about S3 and 4, rewrite them entirely devoid of Cuntugno cancer. Expand on the lore some more while keeping with the charm of the second season.
Juan Williams
I feel that way about a lot of shows but I never end up actually writing anything.
Nicholas Brooks
Star is my girlfriend
Again, cugtugno wasn't a writer and this board's obsession with her is retarded. She's a complete fucking idiot but that's besides the fact that she didn't write this for this fucking season!
Christian Lewis
I'll go first.
Have the show have more focus on plot from the start instead of how SoL it was in the first season. Season 1 is very different from the rest of the show so I'd like to make closer to what Season 2 was with it's focus on plot for more consistent pacing.
Focus a lot less on Earth characters that were mostly irrelevant to the plot like the ones at the karate dojo.
Remove Ponyhead from the show entirely. She's annoying, adds nothing of substance to the story, and makes every episode she's in worse.
Have Kelly be introduced in the first season in the role of Star's best friend instead of Ponyhead.
Abandon Starco. Enough series as it is have the main male and female character get together in the end. Having them just remain friends by the end would make for something more interesting. Probably going to get a lot of shit for that one.
Have Jackie no longer be a crush for Marco. Instead have him be more of an admirer who thinks she's really cool. I wanted to remove most of the shipping drama from the show so unfortunately Jarco is a casualty of this.
Set up Kelly as Marco's endgame relationship early on with them eventually getting together midway through the series.
Keep Tom's arc more or less the same and have him and Star be set up as endgame.
Have Jackie turn out to be a mermaid with the ability to control water That way when she starts going on adventures with Star and Marco she'll have something to bring to the table.
Have Janna remain mostly the same, but increase her involvement in the plot and eventually have her learn to use magic of her own.
Have Ludo's arc play out similarly, but have more time devoted to episodes about his redemption and eventually have him return to the story as an ally to Star with his own magical abilities he learned while in exile.
Toffee instead of being killed in Battle for Mewni is horribly disfigured and goes into hiding.
I'll continue in another post.
William Clark
just make Star a boy. the show would improve a lot by just changing this
John Reed
Entire show should take place on a beach
Alexander Turner
Have the reveal that Star and Moon aren't actually part of the Butterfly line play a much bigger part in the story with the people of Mewni constantly in debate with one another over who should be queen. Make the people of Mewni feel like they have more agency and ability to think on issues instead of mostly being stupid.
Have both Star and Moon deal with the reveal with a sense of guilt and shame. A scene should happen where Moon is at a meeting and every time someone says the word "Queen" it bothers her immensely.
Have Moon never betray Star and Eclipsa because it was a stupid twist that ruined her character.
Have the MHC still end up siding with Mina, but make them come of as more sympathetic characters that are mostly doing this because of how stuck in their ways they are.
The destroying magic thing is completely scrapped and instead the finale of S4 is an epic battle between the Solarian warriors with the MHC and practically all the heroes of the story.
At one point in the fight the Solarian warriors are dominating and tons of Mewman soldiers are getting cut down. The MHC all stare on at the slaughter it would be kept family friendly enough and begin to regret what they're doing. Heckapoo switches sides and begins valiantly fighting against the warriors only to be beat down. As she's about to be killed Glossaryck appears before the MHC and simply says "I wonder what Lekmet would think of this."
The MHC would then save Heckapoo and switch sides causing a turn in the battle. Eventually both sides would be practically completely wiped out leaving just Mina and Star. They would have an epic showdown that would leave Star the winner, but completely zapped of all energy.
Then walking across the field of unconsious bodies comes Toffee who waited out the battle so that he could finish off whoever was left. Star tries to get up and point her wand at him, but he slaps it out of her hand.
TBC...
Parker Perry
Star becomes a slutty weirdo who wants people doing sex things to her feet, explaining it's a "Mewni thing." It isn't, she's just a creepy pervert and THAT'S why she's on Earth.
Connor Brown
>Simpsons
A ton of things.
Jaxson James
blacklist cuntugno from touching any tv show ever again
Nathan Miller
Right before the final blow a burst of energy goes right through Toffee's chest.
Toffee turns around in shock to see Ludo holding the wand. "Looks like you're dead."
In the aftermath Mina and the warriors would be imprisoned and have their Solarian powers removed except for Mina who has had her power for so long it refuses to leave her.
The MHC make peace with Eclipsa and still needing a new member to fill in for Lekmet choose to appoint Ludo as a member of the commission.
Both main couples get happily celebrate the now established peace.
Marco is made an Earth ambassador to Mewni who helps keep the peace between realms.
Kelly acts as his bodyguard, but mostly it's just so that they can spend more time together.
Star and Tom travel around and go on adventures together often inviting the rest of main cast.
Janna goes back to Earth and starts teaching random people about magic.
Jackie goes on to become a female Tony Hawk with her own game series and everything.
Also because I forgot to mention it before I would have Mewmans actually being descended from humans play a much bigger role in the story with the first hints at the possiblity being the fact that Jackie's family is descended from mermaids that made the trip from Mewni to Earth.
Luke Ross
Marco and Tom team up for interdeminsal adventures without Star. Star can fuck off with Eclipsa for Season 3.
Nicholas Morgan
Replace magic with guns
Luke Williams
For some reason, I hate two guy buddy comedies. I don’t know what it is about? I used to like them but maybe some people just assume that they’re gay but not always. Or maybe it’s because the assumptions that spongebob and Patrick were gay, (even though hillenburg has confirmed he considers him asexual) it ruined and scarred me for life. The same kinda happened to me when they assumed ren and stimpy were gay or bi. If you hated what I said, than call me an anti gay person or the fucking devil.or maybe even a pussy.
Michael Butler
The two biggest problems I had of Gravity Falls was Bill not being a very good main villain and a rushed second season. So what I'd do is personally do is.
>Demote Bill from main villain to wild card villain of the week that occasionally helps out Gideon
>Have the alien from the first episode of season 2 be the main villain of this season
>Have more episodes with Stan's twin interacting with the cast
>Have alien be the one to trick Mabel. Maybe he turns into Grunkle Stan and convinces her to go to take a joyride in the spaceship to get back at her brother
>Season finale is alien invasion
>Have to team up with Gideon and Bill to stop it
>Stop invasion but end with Gideon out of prison and having all the three books
>Season 3 has Gideon go power hungry and create his own world ala Mother 3
Blake Powell
post more boystar art
Daniel Howard
Marco ends up with Janna
Nicholas Cruz
SNIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Christian Martinez
This is the only correct way.
Nolan Jenkins
Justin Scott
Kino
Bentley Morris
Marco gets with Connie instead
Michael Foster
Marco doesn't deserve Connie but he does deserve Star.
Luke Sanchez
>Marco deserves Connie AND he does deserve to cuck Star.
Jacob Sanchez
Korra....ok
>have one villain
>equalists and The Red Lotus are both working together
>have her lost her power and not get it back at the end of Season 1
>Season 2 she tries to get back her powers
>drop the shipping it a waste of time
>tell tumbler to fuck off
that all I got sorry
Daniel Lewis
>cucks Star and Steven
Killing two birds with one stone
Dominic Foster
she leaves the fucking town and goes to have adventures like we were promised.
Aaron Lopez
Star vs. The Forces of Sexual Confusion
Joseph Sanders
>stop trying to subtly appeal to tumblr
>maybe don't treat the people willing to help you on your project like shit.
>don't make pent (red guy in pic related) trans. just stick to the original idea and give him a gf
Nolan Clark
Maybe it's a Tangled situation where S1 is in the town and S2 is adventures?
John Peterson
This series would have fared much better if the leads were boys.
Samuel Rodriguez
>Tomstar/MArco & Kelly
Nah
Honestly you're just postponing Toffe getting killed off in a lame way by one season.
Also Ludo is in no way qualified for the MHC, reinstating the title of Archduke and making him an ambassador for monsters might make more sense.
Agreed on most of the other stuff.
Jack Brooks
>maybe don't treat the people willing to help you on your project like shit.
Redpill me on this and the other points.
Jose Bell
Redo season 4.
- Keep the Daemon War, stretch it out for the full 8 episodes I'd assume the season is still limited to.
- Drop the Megabyte/Dot marriage plot. Even if Tony Jay was still alive, it's screentime you don't have to waste.
- Work in the Gigabyte/early Mainframe backstory, if possible. Don't force it.
- Keep the style Daemon's forces had in The Episode With No Name, or spend time showing the progression from The Matrix hardasses to religous cultists.
- Don't have characters act out of character.
- Don't go against an entire previous series of world mechanics involving how the internet and travel between systems works.
Andrew Mitchell
OH! And most importantly:
- Don't use that style of animation they used for season 4. Everyone's facial expressions were WEIRD.
Hunter Morgan
-Make some jokes way less cringy.
-Make a better artstyle, everyone looks like they came out of Big Mouth.
-Have the plot be less formulaic and way more varied.
Mason Adams
>the other diamonds secretly knew pink was rose and they disowned her despite still loving her because she argued with them and sided with earth.
>white diamond is introduced way earlier via her pearl, and she brainrapes an ancillary character we like to prove villain cred. maybe lapis or jasper since those characters didn't have much to do after s3
>more homeworld episodes
>white diamond is an actual fight. i don't care how
>aquamarine and topaz actually succeed in kidnapping the humans and greg, thus giving homeworld many hostages and steven no way to go back to his shitty normie episodes
>the lars of the stars bullshit doesn't happen because it made no sense
>probably more shit idk man i'm not a writer
so...this?
youtube.com
Cameron Allen
>Star vs.
Ax the Eclipsa stuff. It ends at battle for mewni. Star and Marco still go there separate ways but still make time to hang out.
Noah Diaz
-Make some jokes way less cringy.
-Make a better artstyle, everyone looks like they came out of Big Mouth.
-Have the plot be less formulaic and way more varied.
Joseph Russell
I'm gonna go with a a show which I feel had a lot of potential, but in the end was legitimately awful.
First, the plot: stick to it. No random, puerile episodes where they do stupid crap like dealing with rutabaga shortages or DMV stand-in. Find the magic swords that you need to free the land. Episodes, even ones that deal with little "sidequests," should in some way tie in to the central plot. And, I cannot stress this enough: Actually COMPLETE the plot. The series ends with them getting all the swords...but then in the ensuing battle, they all get lost again and they have to start from scratch?
The show needs a better balance of action and comedy. Given the premise, they really needed to give a lot more focus to the action aspect.
The humor should not have been removed entirely, mind you, but it needed to be more subtle and less forced.
To be specific with that last comment, Lord Spite and General Ogun...they needed to be more threatening as villains. Spite should have retained his flair for theatrics and hamminess, but Ogun should be treated as a more dead-pan straightman to Spite. I would, however, retain the "are they a gay couple?" aspect. And SPite needed to be portrayed as competent as a villain despite his flamboyance. I'm thinking...Prime Starscream before Megatron woke up.
The next issue is the back story and Prince Nestor. He's too flippant about the whole thing. Your kingdom is in Spite's control, and your parents are missing. Act like this quest NEEDS to be completed as quickly as possible. Yes, he can still be a bit spoiled, but the main conflict between him and Quest should be Nestor's urgency and Quest's lack of fucks.
And the back story should be fleshed out a bit because we should have a reason to want to see Nestor succeed. I'm gonna cite a video game for the closest analogy to how I think it should have been set up: DragonQuest VIII. Think of Nestor as King Trode. He's a bit of an asshole, but deep down, you want his to succeed.
Christopher Roberts
the system kept on detecting my reply as spam for some reason so here's a pastebin about it.
>pastebin.com
Daniel Perry
What if, instead of a big war where everyone winds up "unconscious", at the climax of the fight, Star freezes time. Everyone is frozen in place, save for the few people that were in a small radius around Star. This would include Mina and other important characters, like Marco, maybe Moon and/or Eclipsa.
As for Toffee, I think he should play more of a role in the story if he's going to still be skulking around. Not sure how it could be pulled off, but he could've been the one 'puppeting' Mina into the whole situation, I dunno.
Dominic Edwards
perfection
Nathaniel Brown
Yeah I only felt like writing so much, but I'd definitely do more than that for Toffee. Probably make him manipulate Mina like you said. Also I only mention unconscious because Disney won't sign off on a battlefield of corpses.
Joshua Richardson
pretty sure khonjin is mentally ill
Cooper Jones
How much did he raise? I read the animators account too, seems like a real autistic Individual.
Angel Ramirez
I'd critiscize you for wasting your time by working on a fan projhect when you cold be doing your own stuff buuuuut... I'd be lying if I denied I'd spent the last month planning my own season 5 Star Vs comic THAT WILL FIX EVERYTHING THAT WAS WRONG WITH THE FINAL TWO SEASONS!
Joseph Brown
I stopped reading once you made Ludo a demigod. Because that's all I needed. I'M PROUD OF YOU
Dylan Lopez
One episode. Explore young Queen Moon and her brief pole dancing days.
Asher Morgan
Replace Greg Universe with Coop from Megas XLR.
Dylan Flores
Korra
Move the plot of season two to season one. Korra has been raised alone and her first time being let out of the compound is to attend the Solstice Festival. She runs into Asami who is there on business for her father, they become quick friends and she takes Korra to her first pro-bending match between a local team and the visiting Fire Ferrets. They meet Mako and Bolin, everyone hangs out, fun times had, then everything changed when the Dark Spirits attacked.
Korra tries to save the day but gets her shit wrecked. We're introduced to Tenzin and Unaloq for the first time when they show up to try and fend the spirits off. We still get all the civil war/spirit shenanigans/first avatar shit, but it's all kept in the South Pole and all focused on these four new friends being pulled in way over their heads. Major events still play out more or less the same, Korra loses her connection to the past avatars, etc.
Second season picks up with the story from Change. Korra travels to Republic City to address the world about the events of the Harmonic Convergence. We meet Lin, Tarrlok, Sato, etc. Story more or less progresses as it did. Same for Balance with a few tweaks to the finale for it to be a lot less "final". We spend a lot of time getting to know Lin, Tarrlok and Sato are both friends and allies during the events of these seasons.
Jonathan Ramirez
It's more of a spare time and mental health-improving thing if anything
David Kelly
Fourth season goes back to the plot from Air. The Equalist movement rises as a response to all the conflicts started by benders over the previous three seasons. Story progresses mostly the same, albeit with a minimum of pro-bending shit. Story progresses mostly the same, but everything's got just a little more weight to it now. Tarrlok's reveal as a bloodbender is a big deal because we've gotten to know him for a few seasons, same with Sato being revealed as an equalist. Asami's decision to side with her friends over her father doesn't seem as forced because they've known each other for years.
Lastly, Korra's arc in the final season works a lot better. Her fear of Amon and of losing her bending comes after spending three years crippled and virtually powerless, unlocking airbending comes after four seasons of struggling with it, and reconnecting with Aang and her past lives is the culmination of a series long arc of Korra struggling to connect to her spiritual side and master the Avatar state.
Landon Nguyen
if you mean the kickstarter, he only $18,140
from his $50,000 goal with as many as 354 backers.
and yeah, on accounts of the other animators, one described him as an egotistical manipulator, and the other talked about unreal deadlines and such he would give to them.
there's a post from a fan on tumblr with screenshots of this.
>tiredspirits.tumblr.com
based
Ryan Reyes
>postponing Toffee getting killed off in a lame way
I think having Ludo being the one to do him in would make the most sense. Toffee used Ludo and never had any respect for him. Ludo getting to kill the guy who helped drive him insane feels like a satisfying end to his character arc.
Also as for Ludo getting into the MHC I'd imagine he'd spend time in the Neverzone and actually sit down and learn magic. By the end of the story he'd be pretty good and it would make the most sense for him out of all the character to join the MHC.
Adrian Miller
Also I've already planned the whole story of "Season 1" and "Season 2" along with the episode order (still retaining some from the original), with some changes as time goes by.
Mason Phillips
connie looks awfully retarded and off-model here
Ian King
so exactly like she does in the show, then
Parker Allen
Toffee should have been Eclipsa's husband.
Matthew Gray
Would his name be Sun?
Mason Nelson
>Toffee's goal to destroy magic is motivated by freeing Eclipsa and revenge against the MHC
Would be kino
Jaxson Gray
>Halo 3
Master Chief is actually dead.
Camden Richardson
Also revenge against the false butterflys
Daniel Bennett
Would have prevented his corpse being paraded around by 343
Jonathan Harris
Compared to how things went I can't say I have any real problems with this.
My only question is how Miss Heinous would fit into the Butterfly family tree and what her role would end up being. I mean yeah they could just do the same shit as the Meteora stuff from the show with Toffee as her "baba," but hopefully not.
Joshua Hall
I doubt it, they probably would say that John released a copy of his brain scan and they simply install it on another and next thing you thing you know: youtube.com
Austin Ward
>Halo 4 Secret Ending alt
>John, is that you?
>Credit roll
Cameron Lewis
If that, then Toffee would have worked way better as a grey character more than Globgor and Eclipsa.
The guy that killed your grandma and made your life miserable to the point that he almost kills you is actually the guy you must root for.