Stan gets selected to be an agent in the SCP Foundation. What happens?

Stan gets selected to be an agent in the SCP Foundation. What happens?

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Rodger is basically an SCP so he would be pretty ready for most stuff
But since it's SCP he would die horribly anyways

If he was selected it means we are in the loldation period of scp, so he himself is fine and a lot of people are going to die.

>Sees a containment breach warning alarm going off over 96’s door.
>Stan:I am pretty sure this the one you need to look at. You, random D class! Stand here and stare at this scp while I go prep the response team!
>Camera follows Stan as he runs around a corner and all we hear screaming and crying.

And Klaus...or at least the device they used on Klaus. One or the other would be an SCP

>Jeff gets arrested for drug possession and becomes a D-Class
>hey Mr.S! Look! I got out of jail, and all they want me to do is stare at some statue!

Tampoons

Bad things. Many bad things.

He wrestled Rodger to a standstill, and Rodger had strong enough legs to push a massive tree casually
Rodger is also fast enough to easily walk around bullets
This means Stan has to be both crazy strong himself, and have crazy quick reactions

>Mmmm... Yeah, okay. This solves two problems.

Wholesome 682/999 subplots

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He’d make out with that weird ass looking thing that makes you fall in love with it until roger gets jealous of all the attention it’s getting and destroys it. He gets fired

>Stan is appointed to meet with O5 after he threw D-Class into 914 and set it to Fine
>the O5 is Roger

You know....D-Class Jeff interests me a whole lot more than Agent Stan

Rodger
SCP class:Apollyon

>Jeff gets access to 420-j
>smokes all of it to stans astonishment
>but, Jeff? how?
>oh! that was mine, i left it lying around years ago and wanted to get to it at one point but the floor was way to far away

>Jeff feeds 999 a 2 liter bottle of Mr.Pibb
>it bounces at high speeds, breaking down walls and causing a massive containment breach

I want someone to write SCP articles about this right now.

Almost every single SCP and several doctors are actually Roger in disguise. The one that isn't is actually a plot by Santa Claus.

They find out anlbout Klaus and Roger and remprimand him by administering Class A amnestics to his family and warning him that he and everyone he loves will be turned into D-Class fodder if he ever brings it up again

I'M GETTING FED UP WITH THIS ORGASM

>Roger we need to go deal with an escaped SCP
>Let's just pray for once that we get there it doesn't turn out to me
>thank god I'm just the D-class

>Scene shows an old man, dying all alone
>Roger shows up
>want a cigarette?
>stuffs his tongue down his mouth after he dies

>Stan takes the bell that summons Mr.Deeds out of the locker
>its Rodger

I want the death scp to happen to roger

>Stan gets assigned to carry out the tasks related to SCP-231-7.
>has heard the horror stories, after several minutes of mental preparation goes in to carry out the ritual
>231-7 is Roger who is VERY excited for teh ritual to start

>Want to write a scene about Stan
>Before I begin to type! Roger being involved in the scene enters my head
>Now I can’t remember where Stan fit into the punchline, only Rodger
>Now the Stan has no reason to be in the scene and the scene is just a joke about how Rodger was a memetic scp

Guys, does the Foundation have a “jealous scp”, because I think I just got a decent meta scp idea.