WB Wanted Steven Seagal As Batman In Tim Burton's 1989 Movie
Just imagine.
Unironically what did he mean by this?
more useless batman trivia
>Out of breath after like ten steps
Every fucking time.
I actually want Seagal to play Thaddeus Brown
What was that list of Segal kino films that came out around the same time of this one? I crave more terrible Segal movies.
Look out for these movie packs in Wal-Mart
he round kicked his wife and got blacklisted, now he has some dojo things
>double segal asian fetish on the cover
That's what I need, thank you based user
What was even the appeal of Steven Segal in the first place? He's probably the biggest enigma in the world pg eighties action film stars. Like even JCVD I can get because he was ripped as fuck and did great stuntwork, but Segal just feels like a black hole of charisma and effort.
Up until about '93-ish he'd had a great roll of action kino.
>The number 1 pick for worst "SNL" host comes straight from the mouth of the show's creator. Lorne Michaels revealed his pick for the worst host during Nicolas Cage's 1992 monologue. Cage joked, "They probably think I'm the biggest jerk who's ever been on the show!" Michaels responded, "No, no. That would be Steven Seagal."
>Seagal demanded that the cast perform sketches that Seagal himself had written rather than the material they already had. One of these masterful ideas, according to Dana Carvey, involved Seagal playing a psychiatrist that talks to a rape victim, and while she tearfully explains her experience, Seagal would feel her up and attempt to rape her himself.
>Lorne Michaels spent hours explaining to Seagal that the concept wasn’t funny nor even if they made a rape sketch funny, they would never be allowed to put that scene on the air, but Seagal thought it was comedy gold.
I accept the fact that this is Yea Forums-related, but it feels like a thread that would be more successful on Yea Forums.
Unless it just turns into a dream casting thread.
>>Lorne Michaels spent hours explaining to Seagal that the concept wasn’t funny
It kinda is though lmao
I'd love to see Segal as classic spandex Punisher.
Isn't Seagal IRL something of an infamous sex pest himself?
>According to some accounts, as Segal's star rose high in the Hollywood sky, he began to believe his own hype. Apparently at the height of his fame, he once claimed to be immune to a judo choke hold. To prove this claim, he instigated stuntman and martial arts legend Gene LeBell to choke him. LeBell obliged. As it turns out, Seagal was not, and probably still is not, immune to judo. LeBell choked ol' Stevie until he passed out and soiled his pants.
>A young Jenny McCarthy was auditioning for UNDER SIEGE 2. Steven Seagal asked her to take off her top. When she saw the script, she realized that the film didn’t call for any nudity, and called Steven out on it. He responded that the film involved “off-camera nudity."
>One day an executive walked into Seagal's trailer during filming for THE GLIMMER MAN and found Hollywood's reigning manly man weeping. "Oh, I'm reading this script," Seagal explained, still misty. "It's the most incredible script I've ever read." "That's fantastic," the executive said, "Who wrote it?" Seagal didn't miss a beat. "I did."
>>According to John Leguizamo in his autobiography, Steven Seagal physically attacked him during filming of EXECUTIVE DECISION, in an effort to scare the cast and crew. Leguizamo, who played one of the military commandos under Seagal's character's command, claimed that Seaga walked into the room barking orders at the actors as if they were really his subordinates. Assuming it to be a joke, Leguizamo laughed, but Seagal proved him wrong by elbowing him against a wall.
>In an interview with Huffpost Live, Tom Arnold claimed that Steven Seagal fell into the water while filming a scene for EXIT WOUNDS on his character's houseboat: Seagal had opted to shoot the scene without rehearsal and mistakenly exited through the wrong door, leading him to drop into the bay. He had to be pulled out by the crew.
>One of these masterful ideas, according to Dana Carvey, involved Seagal playing a psychiatrist that talks to a rape victim, and while she tearfully explains her experience, Seagal would feel her up and attempt to rape her himself.
Gee i wonder how he came up with that.
Leguizamo talked about that in one of his standup specials too. He talked about how Segal threatened and hit people all the time on sets. And no one wanted to work with him because he is somewhere between a psycho and a 10 year old school bully.
He ego took a hit doing ED because he was billed below Kurt Russell, which is why he was particularly pissy during its filming.
>every neckbeard's fantasy
He was always a second rate actor, below Schwarzenegger but above Lorenzo Lamas. He was never going to be in anything amazing.
>During a party at Sylvester Stallone's house in the 1980's, Steven Seagal bragged about being able to beat up Jean-Claude Van Damme, not knowing that Van Damme was also at the party. Van Damme challenged Seagal to a one-on-one, but Seagal bailed claiming it wouldn't be honorable and went to another party. Van Damme followed him to that party and later to a nightclub fishing for a fight but eventually gave up.
>Seagal's career boost is a story worthy of a movie itself. After his breakthrough with the surprisingly popular low-budget action film ABOVE THE LAW, Seagal was coerced by the organized crime into starring in a series of action movies that were actually part of an elaborate money laundering scheme. In the late 1990's, after experiencing a self-described "spiritual awakening" through Buddhism, Seagal reneged on violent action movies for the mob and even testified against them... Only to go right back to making violent action movies for the Serbian government.
>Seagal claims he helped train CIA agents in Japan, telling the Los Angels Times, "They saw my abilities, both with martial arts and with the language. You could say that I became an advisor to several CIA agents in the field and through my friends in the CIA, met many powerful people and did special works and special favors." His wife at the time denies he was involved with the CIA.
>Seagal also claims to have trained numerous UFC world champions including Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida, fought the Yakuza with the help of the American mafia, being one of the world's foremost experts on swords and regularly retained by auction houses for authentification purposes, and being the reincarnation (tulku) of Tibetan treasure revealer Chungdrag Dorje, which would make him as a holy man in Buddhist culture.
>Van Damme followed him to that party and later to a nightclub
now that is a power move
Unironically THIS
Also everyone should read Outlaw Vern's Seagalology - The Study of Steven Seagal. It's a fucking wonderfully funny read.
Any more facts about Steven Seagal? I'd like to learn more on how far his head up his ass is.
These are the actions and claims of an insane man.
So can Seagal really fight?
>involved Seagal playing a psychiatrist that talks to a rape victim, and while she tearfully explains her experience, Seagal would feel her up and attempt to rape her himself.
Isn't this kind of like that He-Hog pitch John K did?
Does anybody wanna play with Cupcake?
That's all well and good but has anybody seen Richie?
Leguizamo also made a whole routine about how Segal would always refer to himself in the third person on set.
He would have had a fit about the suits.
It's weird how fat can change people differently. I've seen fat people that get fat in their arms n thighs and so they don't look that big in their bellies. Then you got Steven here who looks like he's hiding a box of wine or some shit in his belly.
silly user. stuffing a goose-down pillow into your gi is a tactical maneuver! think of the impact absorption! literally 0% bodyfat
seagal has developed a special strengthening technique to prevent neck strikes through a special callous pad on his back neck
Some Warner Brothers executive really liked Seagal and kept pushing him for big roles. So he wound up in Under Siege; that one film pretty much made him only for Seagal to come crashing back down to Earth when his limitations as an actor and action star became blatantly clear.
In short, he's the action film version of Elmyra.
Why is this line so fucking funny?
He might have been more successful is he was not a deranged Edgelord King living in his own kung fu fantasy world.
>He responded that the film involved “off-camera nudity."
This, half the reason his career dried up only after about 4-5 years was because he burned so many bridges.
iirc, that encounter with vandamme was also around the time vandamme feels he got blacklisted, it was also when vandamme was on peak coke
The solution is obviously to make a live-action Elmyra film starring Steven Seagal as Elmyra
>Batman with actual martial arts
Yes please. You can even make the costume out of cloth or something so Seagal can move and kick ass.
he's fucking fat as shit now and still does direct to video movies
Under Siege is his most watchable movie far mostly by virtue of it's supporting cast. You can see how skillfully they edit around him whenever he's not doing action shit. He's actually not in the movie that much.
The next movie he made was written and directed by him and was up to that point, the most laughable self indulgent piece of shit I'd ever seen. The slap fight alone was worth the price of admission.
Quite a few actors have fallen into that category over the years but still managed to be major stars because they had actual talent.
Exactly; you could slot a bunch of different actors into that film and it work just as well. The more films he made, the more obvious that was.
Steven Seagal is what happens when you play badass characters and start believing that you're actually the badass character you've been playing.
It's actually pretty sad. He's probably one of the few rare cases where maladaptive day dreamers actually got to partially live out their day dreams, but in a way which is so half-assed yet fulfilling that it's a sanity destroyer.
Oh, and I'm sure that all of those good ol' 80s style coke binges didn't help...
Didn't he refuse to hold back when slapping and hitting every stunt guy in Glimmer Man which caused a lot of problems for him later on?
i dunno i avoided that one. i was talking about this scene from on deadly ground
youtu.be
>He responded that the film involved “off-camera nudity."
Jesus christ
How did someone who underwent intense martial arts training get so fat ?
>a deranged Edgelord King living in his own kung fu fantasy world
By what metric is that not a success?
>He's actually not in the movie that much.
I was actually shocked when I saw Under Siege for the first time in two decades last year and realized that Seagal is barely in it. The only reason that movie is so good is because of Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey being awesome bad guys.
>"But I remember once, at my home in Miami, I believe it was in ’96 or’97, Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O’Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna… it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some excuse and left. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal pulled a Houdini. Who would win? I have to say I believe Van Damme was just too strong and Seagal wanted no part of it. That’s just my opinion."
Seagal to my understanding is/was a legit badass to a degree, but yeah, coked-out lunatic mode JCVD rips his goddamn throat out easy.
EVERY ONE OF HIS GODDAMN MOVIES HAS HIM GO TO A BAR AND A BUNCH OF REDNECKS START MAKING FUN OF INDIANS AND HE RESPONDS BY MURDERING THEM.
I mean peak cocaine Van Damme was buff as fuck and had the added advantage of seething, drug-fuelled manlet rage. I'd be fucking terrified too.
>Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O’Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna…
We're reaching 90's levels that shouldn't even be possible right now.
>"Oh, I'm reading this script," Seagal explained, still misty. "It's the most incredible script I've ever read." "That's fantastic," the executive said, "Who wrote it?" Seagal didn't miss a beat. "I did."
Tremendous
All I’m hearing in this thread is that this guy was pretty based
His guitar isn't even plugged in wtf
He has transcended the need for such things.
Only thing that party was missing was Mel Gibson
What is he doing now? Direct-to-video shit and occasionally visiting Asia.
He's busy working in Russia and Serbia now. Seagal is currently working as a goodwill ambassador to USA for the Russian Foreign Ministry.
He also occasionally gives Aikido and CQC training for FSB, Spetznats and Serbian police special units.
>He also occasionally gives Aikido and CQC training for FSB, Spetznats and Serbian police special units.
You think they let him win out of pity or just for the ego-boost?
He was famously made famous as a joke bet - some exec said he could make ANYONE a famous action star, so he decided to cast his Aikido instructor in movies.
However, the real appeal was Seagal was the first guy to brutalize people in movies. He was breaking arms and slamming them through tables and windows. Up until that point, it was all kung-fu kicks and punches.
Above the Law, Out For Justice, Hard To Kill, Marked For Death, and Under Siege are all great action movies.
Too bad he is an insane egomaniac who hits women.
He also had a rule that he was not allowed to die in any of his films. He was pissed about Executive Decision and refused to shoot a lot of the scenes surrounding his death, which is why the actual shot of him falling out of the plane is a comical dummy.
>He also had a rule that he was not allowed to die in any of his films.
That's why he's currently in direct-to-video hell as an actor where none of the big-name movie producers have little sway.
>little
much*
Aikido is not a very intense martial art. It is mostly small joint manipulation and joint locks, and to be truly effective your opponent needs to either be compliant or drunk. It tends to fall into the category of "bullshido"
And he shills for Vladimir Putin.
Seagal wins because of his superior deadly Aikido skills.
Seagal has the most blackest belt in Aikido. He also has honorary black belts in Judo, Karate and Shibari.
It's not the gut that bothers me, it's how cartoonish looking it is.
This thread needs more Seagal webms
isnt shibari rope bondage
He also has honorary black belts in futanari, shiatsu, hajime no ippo and kakugo no susume.
The man is truly based.
I wonder if you sent Seagal a letter written on a very fancy letterhead telling him that you were awarding him an honorary black belt in random Japanese shit would he believe it?
/r/ that webm or a link of that basketball player making fun of Segal and imitating his Aikido moves.
>aikido
What’s wrong with Putin?
The metric made by far losers on Yea Forums who won’t ever star in a 90’s action film.
>imagine not thinking that’s based
Man is basically Guy Gardner irl
>He responded that the film involved “off-camera nudity."
I fucking love this man.
A manlet who has to arrest his opposition because he can't win a fair election?
If you sent him a weathered old scroll inviting him to a secret hidden temple in Cambodia, he would definitely go.
The fucking mad man
Based
>according to Samm Hamm
Ah yes the screenwriter who thought batman was 'stupid'
He is a huge guy(6'4" or 6'5", obviously fat as well) and even if Aikido is a joke of an art, it's still better than nothing.
If it was a street fight against a random tough guy, I would bet that in his prime, Seagal would destroy him. Probably do ok even today.
If it was against anyone who was a trained fighter, Seagal gets mopped. JVCD at least did some legit kickboxing in Europe - he would smoke Seagal.
