Alright, you mugs. Who's the best Bart girlfriend?

Laura's the best fit for him overall, though I did like Gina as well.

Jessica and Laura are the best characters clearly. I don't think any of the other girls have any real personality. They kind of tried with Gina, but I found her attitude a little forced. Mary Spuckler was also bland as fuck.

Laura is a more likable character than Jessica, but Jessica was a lot funnier and she seemed to have a real chemistry with Bart--that is to say, their attraction to each other feels natural. A lot of people would say Laura, but somehow I didn't find it very believable that Bart would have a crush on her. Jessica on the other hand is the same age as Bart and is also a hellraiser so the whole thing is much easier to swallow.

I'm actually undecided about The Wandering Juvie, cause I think both TGTSATD and Little Big Girl are funnier, but The Wandering Juvie had a stronger girlfriend character and a more unusual premise.

Bart's Girlfriend: 9/10
New Kid on the Block: 9/10
The Wandering Juvie: 5/10
The Good, The Sad, and The Drugly: 5/10
Little Big Girl: 6/10
The Bart Wants What It Wants: 5/10
Stealing First Base: 2/10
Mary Spuckler episodes: -1/10

Jessica: Interesting antagonist in that she seemed almost invincible
Gina: Arguably the most multi-dimensional Bart girlfriend
Laura: Memorable and unique
Jenny: Boring but I guess that was kind of the point of her character
Greta: See previous
Darcy: See previous
Nikki: Just a pile of random jokes designed to fuck with Bart's head
Mary Spuckler: I don't even want to go there

Honestly Bart girlfriend episodes tend to be some of the better ones of the series and not solely because waifus.

Bart's Girlfriend is one of the show's top 10 best episodes and the only good one on the list. And yeah, Jessica obviously.

"New Kid On The Block" as the best episode and Laura as the best girlfriend, both are definitely my favorites from the list; but still, Laura was technically never Bart's girlfriend other than being a girl and his friend.

Episode - Bart's Girlfriend

Girl - Greta Wolfcastle

Laura is my favorite but Jessica made the best antagonist. And I felt kind of sorry for Jenny but then again Bart had it coming. I also don't really think Laura counts as a "girlfriend" because of the age difference although I suppose they could date as adults.

Does Sarah Plain and Tall count?

Out of that list, it's a tie between Greta and Laura.

I vote Jessica, although Laura's pretty good too. The rest are Zombie Simpsons so they don't count.

girl milhouse, now fuck off

Gina voiced by Sarah Michelle Gellar, need I say more.

Lisa

Attached: 1545027390593.webm (1920x1080, 2.87M)

Mary

>I also don't really think Laura counts as a "girlfriend" because of the age difference
And obviously the attraction was pretty much one sided.

Mary Spuckler was a great character (the only one, to really tell Bart to get his shit together.) and Laura was awesome as well.
but my favorite has to be Jenda. i mean, it's not because she's a good character. it's more because it was supposed to be some joke, and then they continued it for TWO MORE EPISODES! (which, i suppose, means Days of Future Future, Holidays of Future Past, and (i think) Future-drama (i'm not sure about the title. the one where Bart and Lisa go to Frink's lab and look into their future) are kinda part of the same canon)
Honorary mention to Jessica Lovejoy . the only girl who one-upped Bart Simpson.

All these years later and Laura is still the best.

>Mary Spuckler was a great character

Attached: 2132617-1239.jpg (496x602, 93K)

I'm sure everyone is gonna say Jessica Lovejoy or whoever that girl in the Wandering Juvie is, so I'll get my unpopular out fast and say Jenny. But I realize I might only be saying that because her episode is one of my all time favorites, rather than because of her.

So I'll say Laura Powers, though that's kind of a cheat because the crush was entirely one-sided.

The only acceptable answers to this are either Laura Powers or Jessica Lovejoy since Zombie Simpsons characters are glorified fanfiction.

1st one was never his gf
2nd was messing with him
3rd dumped him for milhouse
4th was a one night stand
5th is pedophilia
6th was never his gf
7th was a one night stand
8th dumped him for a mexican
9th is pedophilia

If it weren't for the age gap then I'd say Laura, but as it is she just views him as a little brother, not a boyfriend.

Jenda can jump off a cliff.

Gina: Hell fucking no. Abusive psychopath who tortures Bart and gets away with it because it's funny to see male characters being abused by women. At least Gina did the right thing in the end as opposed to...

Jessica: A worse criminal version of Bart who uses her looks and feminine charms to fool people and did until Lisa blew her cover. Sneaky, selfish, and willing to use Bart as a fall guy. She doesn't deserve him.

Greta: To be honest she barely had any personality or any memorable lines. I didn't hate her and it's too bad Bart was so oblivious to her crush on him.

Mary: Wasn't bad desu. If Bart weren't such a douche, it could have worked out.

Jenny: Literallywho. Had the personality of a cardboard cutout.

Shauna: If there's one episode I'd like to erase from existence, it's Beware, My Cheating Bart.

Nikki: Bipolar bitch. Can skateboard pretty good though.

If there's a Bart hookup I missed like Sherri or Terri in the future for example, it's 'cos I haven't seen that episode.

Lisa

As for the question, it's extremely broad. Does it mean Bart's best girlfriend as a character or as a fit for Bart? Not sure Laura Powers should even be included since she was never, you know, his girlfriend. Although I like Gina Vendetti and Jenny from later seasons, Jessica is definitely better.

Now imagine if a 15 year old boy had showed Lisa his dick.

Attached: img948558.jpg (640x360, 26K)

Laura shouldn't really count as a girlfriend so I'll argue Jessica. She wasn't the deepest character but her personality and Meryl Streep's performance was great. Greta was pretty bland. Jenny was even more bland since I guess her entire point was to be a sweet, completely perfect Christian girl that was completely out of Bart's league. I agree with that it's bullshit that Gina gets away with mentally and physically abusing Bart when you'd have a hard time imagining the same scenario if their genders were reversed (or an older boy doing same to Lisa). Nikki's bipolar act got old fast and Jenda was shallow as fuck. Mary was fairly harmless in Apocalypse Cow, but the other two episodes...ho boy.

I never understood why Simpsons fans love Jessica so much. She didn't have much personality other than being a more malicious girl Bart. She wasn't interesting at all. Is it because she's from the first eight seasons?

Mary is a lot better desu. She has a more memorable voice, a more interesting established family, and a lot more depth to her as a character.

I'm not going to rank them all individually, just say that Bart could have very happily spent his life with Greta or Mary and blew it by being a dick. But sadly, his fate is to be a clueless dick around women.

I think the daughter of a movie star may be a little out of his league.

Greta was lovable and seemed to genuinely care about him. The rich girl with a big heart trope. There was also Jenny. She bought out a side in Bart that no other girl really could, even if he was faking his altruism at first. Whether he was honest with her in the end or not I'm not sure (watching the episode now to refresh) but again, a good contrast.

I'm going to take the easy route and say Laura or Jessica not because they were Seasons 1-8 or anything but because they had the most memorable personalities. Most later season Bart girlfriends seem bland as fuck. Like, do Darcy, Greta, Jenny, or Mary really have any characterization at all? That doesn't make them bad characters, just bland ones. Only Gina and Nikki had any personality and in both cases it merely consisted of being an abusive psychopath who made Bart suffer.

Also episodes where Bart has a crush on an older girl never really explain why he does. With Laura it kind of made sense since she was a tomboy chick and she genuinely cared about him and wasn't actually in love with him herself but with Darcy, Shauna, Milhouse's cousin, or that piano instructor, it makes no sense why he'd be into them. It gets even weirder and creepier when they take a shine to Bart themselves without a clear reason for it. It also just shows how much the writers wish they had actual teenage characters to do plots like these with.

Also there was nothing intrinsically wrong with Mary Spuckler in Apocalypse Cow at least. In her other two episodes where they changed her appearance and inexplicably aged her up and made her want to be a singer and a SNL writer for some reason and retconned her into being Bart's girlfriend even thought in AC they weren't in love or anything, they just got a fake marriage to save a cow from being butchered and then made her into Bart's ultimate and one true love interest with no context or explanation whatsoever that her character fell apart.

In addition to that, whenever they give Bart a love interest who ends up appearing more than once, like Mary or Jenda, the character ends up being totally uninteresting. Three future episodes with Jenda in them and her character is never developed in any significant way beyond that she's Bart's wife and she cucks him. There's also no explanation or context as to why they fell in love and got married in the first place since they pretty much just seem to hate each other.

Yeah fair enough. Mary was quite harmless in Apocalypse Cow and it was cute that Bart would agree to a fake marriage so Cletus's cow wouldn't have to die. A little odd but a great characterization of Bart and I like Cletus's family making these redneck/hillbilly rules. Cow = wedding ring is just another example of it. I didn't like them bringing her back either. For one, I think they develop gag characters too much (Crazy Cat Lady being a hoarder, etc.) Cletus himself is a great example of a developed gag character (remember, his original purposes was just to respond to Lisa's comment in "Bart Gets an Elephant") because they just add more and more redneck/hillbilly stereotypes to him and his family, and a cow being a wedding ring is a great example. But they utterly ruined Mary with those other episodes, and it was another example of a celebrity getting dicksucked without even playing themselves (Zooey Deschanel--if you think that wasn't a lame attempt to shill her Fox show).

what about the one that was played by Natalie Portman, you know in Little Big Girl?

Jessica and Nikki.

Laura was great but she wasn't a real girlfriend since Bart's crush was one-sided. More like Bart having his first innocent crush.

I thought the Jessica Lovejoy episode was great as we saw Bart fall for someone who was clearly just using him and Bart figuring this out and growing as a character for it.

I think Nikki as a character for Bart was great despite the issues I have with the episode. With Laura, Bart had affection, with Jessica we had manipulating and with Nikki we saw Bart with something completely different.

Jessica. I don't think Gina was ever really his girlfriend, though.

They were all pretty lousy character-wise except Jessica. But I wanna go with Greta as she actually seemed to love Bart but his selfishness and ignorance drove her away into the arms of Milhouse. That being said I do enjoy the Jessica episode more.

I don't like the idea of Bart having a girlfriend.

It just seems creepy. He's 10.

Laura is chill, likable, and tomboy. You can see why Bart would like her. My least favorite of these choices is actually Gina. She's just sort of unpleasant to watch due to her brash volatility. I know she's a criminal, and technically her brutality is sort of important to the plot of The Wandering Juvie, but if it's sheer likability we're talking about, she doesn't have enough back story for me to see past her belligerent exterior. Mary Spuckler and Darcy are decent enough characters; it's just that they were featured in terrible episodes.

I never liked the idea of giving a ten year old a girlfriend. A crush? Maybe, but I guess this is a consequence of not having actual teenage characters on the show.

Though personally I pick Laura Powers. Even though she's technically just a babysitter who Bart has a crush on, she's still pretty likable and I wish she and Ruth appeared more often.

Nikki is probably the one Bart girlfriend I could imagine actually hanging out with him and doing normal kid stuff, too bad she's a psychopath and was voiced by Sarah Silverman.

I say Laura is more like him than Nikki. I mean, Bart generally isn't a schizo head case. He certainly couldn't match Laura's manners and politeness though.

I kind of disqualify Laura from the running because of the age difference between them. Though it doesn't make sense considering how far got with Shauna and that Darcy tried to pass off her pregnancy/slut behavior off on him.

Probably because of Laura's mannered, mature-for-her-age personality which is why she considered Bart more like a little brother and it's something Shauna and Darcy never had. Doesn't matter how much chemistry Bart had with Laura if that obstacle is going to be present.

How old is Laura supposed to be again, been ages since I saw her episode

14 I thought?