Favourite American Dad jokes
>Lately, I've been thinking about all the people I've had to kill. God, the first five, ten times you take a life, it's eerie. You remember every detail. I can see all their faces. One had a beard. Each time I pulled the trigger, I tied a little knot in my memory that no amount of whiskey could loosen. Course eventually, I stopped caring. Now I can put a bullet through a man's head while figuring out how much KFC to pick up on my way home. It's usually no more than a bucket. The sick part is, I've come to love it -- snuffing out lives. I crave it. I feel like an angel of death. The Messenger of Eternal Darkness. A merciless demon with an unquenchable--Oh, they just put more orange chicken in the buffet. Gotta run
Favourite American Dad jokes
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I really can't quotes a perfect text but my favorite gag or most memorable besides what you just posted was the implication / explanation of Rodger needing to dress up as multiple characters in order to sedate his mental illness to kill mercilessly
Pretty accurate description working for the CIA
>Danuta
>Danuta
>It is me
>Will you go there?
>Do you eat?
>I've got the money
>Danuta
Most recently I liked "going bananas" more than I should have
MAKE MINE A P-P-P-P-P-P vicadin
Stan chases and corners Roger dressed as the Phantom of the Opera
>Roger, I'll kill you!
>I'm not Roger, I'm the Phantom!
>*Stan Unmasks Roger*
>GASP! Roger!
>Well, yeah, who did you... What?
Cheesers came back.
Say Yea Forums is anyone else getting fed up with this Orgasm?
weird, i feel like ive jsut woken from a nap
I like the one where they try to convince Terry’s Dad to accept his son being gay, and the guy at the podium goes on a tangent about how Tank basically stole his wife and ruined his family.
>”Brenda, no. You’re breaking my heart.”
I used to feel this quote from that episode quite a bit.
>Oh, I don't know, I guess I think about killinmyself pretty frequently. And why not? What's so great about living? You know when >I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning when I first wake up, before I remember who I am and what my life is all about-- anxiety, disappointment diarrhea more often than not. I don't I don't know if there's an afterlife, but who cares? Nothingness couldn't be any worse than this meaningless march through my empty days.
Rhubarb
I laughed my ass off at the later joke where stan calls the lawnmower guy and starts threatening him
>I'm going to finish my dinner and KILL you
>everyone floating away to the rapture
>"sorry terry god prefers tops"
>never watched this show
>reading these out of context like it's some kind of code
SPEAK ENGLISH
>slow janitor:actually I never truly accepted Jesus as my savior
>Are you crying?
>Yes I'm crying, he hit me with a chair!
I'm clip clop
Yup, I'm gonna rape him this time.
>PS: Francine called, Lady Peckenpaw is dead. Meh.
>stan's gonna tell everyone what he thinks about them before wiping their memories
>when he's mocking Steve he pantomimes him jacking off with his thumb and forefinger
>Thats a door mat, Barry
>Whos Matt Barry?
Everytime.
>Stan dancing next to the Japanese habachi grill, little kid joins in from the next table
>dad chastises “stop that this is why you keep getting molested”
>maybe baby
That key gag with francine killed me
I laughed so fucking hard at this
>YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ON THAT CROSS, YOU LAZY, WINE-LOVING BISEXUAL!
>it's been nine years since Judy died
I don’t remember that one anyone got a video
>I just hope when we get in it's not just me in a wig
>Oh hi!
>Damn it!
>Haley plays song for Stan on Father's day
>wow honey that was really good. Reminds me of early Bob Dylan... Really early Bob Dylan... Before he learned to play guitar
Ow! That’s a whoopsie.
Sssshredded it
I love all the jokes about Roger's personas and everyone's awareness of them.
>The teacher here is supposed to be the most intense and demanding instructor in all of clowning and shit it's Roger, isn't it, it's gonna be Roger.
Looks like things are getting too spicy for the pepper!
>guys we made it, we're finally invited to a party with the cool kids!
>that's right boys, once again we're being socially rewarded with my kermit the frog voice
>waka waka waka
>we're at the door, seriously guys, shut the fuck up
I usually hate it when cartoons start singing out of nowhere, American dad is one the exceptions
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He’s learned
>You’re my Obi-Wan
>I'm gonna give you two seconds to leave that shit right out here on the lawn.
>Well I guess I just picked a whole bouquet of Oopsie Daisies
>Relax! I'm not tryin' to kill ya, i'm just a drunk driver.
>polar bears..shouldn't give this..to their babies..
>NATHAN!
My wife is the Biggest Bitch In he UNIVERSEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Alien hunter episode
>Francen kills Stan's what if girl.
>Girl rolls in to the fire and instantly turns in to ashes.
>Wow she was really dry!
Stans abrupt topic switches in that ep were great
>So dad who was your idol growing up
>Oh I dunno Steve I guess I've been thinking of killing myself quite frequently
>"goodbye Steve"
>"and hello desk sandwich"
>Janitor turns into a werewolf and kills a kid
>"OH SHIT"
>after the fight with Stelios
>werewolf grabs another kid
>"OH FUCK"
Did they ever do anything more with the werewolf janitor?
>Snot takes the phone from Steve and imitates him to try to get Stan to talk about Francine's boobs
>Stan immediately realizes, calls Snot by name, then goes on to talk about her boobs without missing a beat
...
Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda
Stelio!
Stelio Kontos!
It's a toss up between
>Francine I haven't been entirely truthful with you
and
> So, uh, this has gone too far, hasn't it?
What the hell was in that sauce?
>Enjoying the coffee, Smith?
I was watching this last night and I was pissed off how much it made me laugh.
>He hasn't spoken to his dad in years, and his mom ran away before he was born
>How... how could she do that?
This one took me forever.
JORDAN NO
from start to finish they went absolutely absurd on that plotline and it was fantastic
I HAVE THE CAR KEYS IN MY POCKET YOU STUPID BIIIIIIIIIIII
Steve having the Stick ball flashbacks and then Snot gets blown up straight out of Godfather.
>the big c
>cancer?
>no the big c from the coca-cola sign. fell right on top of her.
The genuine confusion in Stan's voice is wonderful.
It's the way he says it because he's half sympathetic, half still trying to figure out how that works.
I love the one where they're gonna meet someone, knowing it will be Roger. They get there and find out it isn't only for him to be the secretary
>i'm an ASSOCIATE!
>"-No the fact you have children when your persona is entirely fictional"
>"We are the music makers! We are the dreamers of dreams!"
That is a very unsatisfying answer
Twisted thing is in the early seasons had an episode where Stan got his first kill and how hard that was for him. That eventually taking its toll on him is some heavy shit.
>I'm doing the only thing I know how to do and that's love the boy I've brainwashed into believing he's my son with all my heart, so you better start teaching what's-his-face for real.
Wait, what is that from?
I think it’s from the episode where Klaus gets a human body and goes to the mall to seduce her.
>Stan follows him to the mall
>Refuses to pay the valet
>Cue music as Stan desperately tries to find a parking spot for extended period of time
> Gives up and goes back to the valet but the valet can’t make change
>Cue music as he goes back to looking for parking
Just the timing and frustration of Stan has me in stitches, desperate to save his wife but too cheap to pay
The episode where Stan takes over Bullocks class at the CIA academy, roger is the 'mother' of one of his recruits
>You’d like Debbie if you get to know her dad. There’s a lot more to her than you think.
>THERE’S MORE OF HER?
don't you do it steve. don't you dare go bananas.
Oh right.
Is every Turlington a different character?
NO STOPPING IT NOW
Hey no that was real I bought that!
They're all cousins
Fell out of my chair laughing at this, Baker’s delivery was hilarious.
Do it, Steve. Go bananas
LAVATE LAS MANOS
Hayley’s impression of Roger kills me.
Isn't that the first season?
Are these two on youtube?
Why are the Smiths Catholic if they are supposed to be an all-American stereotype family?
Are the newer seasons any good?
Why is Fancine better than all the other American Dad moms?
What makes you think they’re catholic?
They have to have the chance to get into heaven for all the afterlife/rapture episodes to make sense
Yeah, to me it's the funniest show on right now.
>My mom left me before I was born.
>How, how could she do that?
That's it, that's our story. Stan's dead.
Stan is clearly Patriotic Protestant. I think they're more about mocking the Pat Roberston and Jerry Falwell wing of American Society.
They also make better Christmas Specials than PureFlix
Smith was deacon for a while.
Other churches have deacons too. He could be a baptist, for instance.
comre on, say it
Which seasons? I remember watching the recent ones, maybe 14 or 15, and I didn’t think it was as good as earlier ones. I haven’t watched 16
>And that inmate in the shower, he wasn't gonna rape me.
>I was going to rape him!
The new episode with Tuttle asking Stan to walk around with him at the mall but taking his silence as rejection so he talks down to himself hit a little too close to home.
>Takin’ Care Of Business plays
>When you were a little boy, your father was raped to that song
It dipped a bit after they moved to TBS but they've been getting better over the seasons. This season had a great Twilight Zone episode that was more TZ than the reboot. My only issue with this season is maybe too much Tuttle.
Is he still the christmas demon krampus?
I see now, lying is wrong. I would know that already if I had paid attention to anything that has ever happened to me before.
They're Episcopalian, basically the American branch of the Church of England. There aren't many practicing Episcopalians left these days, but it used to be the default church of east coast WASPs.
Why does this pic turn me on so much?
That's only for Christmas episodes. Outside of that they've shown him normal like the Basketball episode when he drove past stan.
can't quote it 100% but
>a world without children! future generations will thank us.
Oh ok.
The fact that Ed Asner did that bit as a Mailbox really sold it
>I remember a time when this was a safe hallway. I left my door unlocked, kids played after dark. I didn't have to be scared. I DON'T WANT TO BE SCARED ANYMORE!
A lot of dominations wear robes during service, including non-clergy like church deacons, elders, and choir.
The give-away is that their priest wears the black shirt with white clerical collar when he is not in robes. Only a catholic priest does this. Like most characters Seth voices, Stan is Irish although this is not mentioned very often. It makes most sense for him to be catholic.
consider Francine was also raised by nuns before she was adopted.
>Teenage asian adopted sister makes sexual advances towards blonde, beautiful teenage sister, who seems reciprocal to this.
I don't know user?
Maybe you're a homosexual.
Why do they keep pushing him so hard? He feels so random is every episode he's in now.
Oh damn! :O
Jim Gordon: Origins
I swear Francine is the only hot McFarlane character
I will never this episode for the first time again. pic related
what are your top 5?
not in any particular order:
Phantom of the Telethon
Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth
In Country... Club
Escape from Pearl Bailey
Adventures in Hayley Sitting
I could go to top 10 but it wouldn't be very accessible for people who aren't true dadders
I think it's just a matter of trying mix in new side characters to focus on it.
A lot of the old ones barely show up anymore, it's basically the family and CIA co-workers at this point.
Plus Tuttle is unusually good natured compared to most of the American Dad cast so he throws something new into the mix
Whichever episode had the civil war reenactment that was RP autism as fuck
>Helicoptor: "fufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufu"
>I told you to go out and get help... and you harpooned me
Do they need a reason? I like that he is in every episode now. Most of the time he gets like1-3 lines and just kinda shows up.
I don't think they need to push him as hard to have major roles in episodes, but really he has only had 2 (that one at the lake, and the nighthawks) where he is a major character... Compare this to someone like Turlington who is almost always a major character in the episodes he appears in despite being the most boring side character. I still like turlington, though.
>Stan: It's over, Roger!
>Roger: I'm not Roger, I'm the Phantom.
[Stan removes Roger's mask]
>Stan: [gasp] Roger?!
>Roger: Well, yeah, you already knew-- what?
you mean Vietnam?
that was one of the ones I posted.
>huh?
>pinecones are grenades.
>AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEGS
this I loved his bit in the mall in the last episode
When do we get more Mayor Garfield?
Anyone else disappointed that the Bazooka Sharks arc is essentially over?
That's not true, traditionalist High Anglican priests also wear the black shirt and collar outfit out of service (I know this having gone to an Anglican school) and in the Deacon episode in season 1 the Smiths are very explicitly stated to be Episcopalian, which is the American branch of the Church of England/Anglican Church.
That was an excellent episode.
>Anyone else disappointed that the Bazooka Sharks arc is essentially over?
Johnny Concussion did survive the fall at the end of that last episode with him. Could always come back to do some more.
>Johnny Concussion always gets back up
But I need more Sky Crooner
>a stroller with a baby in it rolled onto the track
>I swerved to avoid it
>*I* was that baby
Got a clip of this?
>It was me, Roger, the whole time.
>Ricky Spaniiiish
>Rogu Spaniiiish
>Ricky Anuuuus
The BROWNIES! bit just doesn't have the impact without the visuals.
Haven't seen the show in about 2-3 years.
Anyone have any recent recs?
Hard Mode: Can't be because of a song or incest gags.
I like Rogu.
How can American Dad pull off this kind of stuff?
>Popery is un American
Damn straight
lmao goddamn
The Twilight Zone episode. Nighttime something I think.
We're pretending its a panda egg.
fucking outskilled
But it was the biggest beer in the UNNIVERRSEE!
The whole fucking Spelling Bee sequence
>Okay, Steve. Your word was "Dog", and you spelled the entire Arrested Development song "Mr. Wendal"
Oh is that the "come back and kick me" whistle?
>KEVIIIIIIIIIIN RAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
>"So I hear you like to sample things excessively and not buy? Is that what you like to do?”
>”Those pizza bagels are my LIFE. I MAKE those TINY BAGELS by HAND"
That guy that was immediately willing to go along with Francine's story when Stan got amnesia
>You were a MACK
>What was my type?
>Mature. Navajo. Bitches.
Your girl wants me, Gucci Mane.
>Fox made all the seth shows do a hurricane episode
I still wonder why
i always liked have people acted like a talking fish was a pretty normal thing.
That one episode where for reasons I can't remember there were a bunch of cars in their yard and they made a drive in movie theater in their yard.
>On clear nights you can even get radio Disney!
>Why did I say that?!
That’s because Stan kept getting outwitted by a car salesman into buying those cars
>for reasons I can't remember there were a bunch of cars in their yard
Stan was mindraped by a car salesman then pretended to lose his mind so he could ultimately beat the salesman.
Haley prostituted herself.
Good times.
his wife and daughter become prostitutes in that episode, lol.
>its becoming very clear to me that I won't be having my date with my girlfriend we just started having sex so that would have been fun Akiko your next world is A
>7
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Why is American Dad so good?
just Haley
I'm not sure. It's not actually written by Seth, or any current Family Guy writers...
I wonder.
>Tell them how you killed our baby Amanda
>ECONOMICS!!!
>My name is Braff Zacklin. I was an international race car driver. One day, a baby carriage rolled onto the track. I swerved to avoid it, but luckily the baby survived. *I* was that BABY!
>That doesn't make any sense.
>IM BRAFF ZACKLIN!
>Some say the cables don't keep him from falling, but from ascending to heaven
Every time
Pick five.
For me, it's:
>Jessica
>Jenny
>Becky
>Scarlett
>Melinda (blonde)
>No Thundercat
Inexcusable failure.
Devin
Glitter
Hiko
Jenny
Judy
>How did you get the curtains open?
>I'M UNUSUALLY FOCUSED RIGHT NOW
Jenny
Jessica Raplansky
Amy
Matilda
Margie
I don't get it
...
I had tears in my eyes with this one.
>thanks dad! I'll do my best
>no son! for once, I want you to do fine
Scarlett
Katie
Joanna
Hiko
Angie
>this is you, isn’t it? I’m going to get there and it’s going to be you
>it’s a strong possibility
>School Called.
He's the dogfather, ruff ruff
more tuttle
Because they do it.
Talking out my anus, either they made a good pitch with the James Bond episodes that opened the door, or they just never cared because the show was probably ultimately only successful enough to justify its own existence but also not get cancelled. So basically it was a case of "I don't care what you do" whereas something like Family Guy or the Simpsons might be trapped in a formula by people who don't want to alienate marketing.
Some say
Ruff Ruff
they need to bring dude back. one of the best one off characters on the show
The girls from the episode where Steve and Roger enroll in an all girls school need to be added to this.
>Steve and Roger aren't getting their "Top Of The Steve" spin off
I'm legit a bit bitter about it.
>Little bitty things
My favorite part of this show is that unlike Spongebob or the Simpsons, which have great quotable moments, but that all come exclusively from the first few seasons, all the moments in this thread are spread out along almost the entire run of the show, from over a decade ago to last week.
>If you wanted to get in here you could have just admitted yourself. You didn't have to dry hump our mailbox.
> yeah you go out and get your mail and tell me it's dry.
>Francine stop playing with your friend. It's down to the last two, and one of them is Steve
>Is the other one a Japanese girl!?
>Ohhhhh yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh
Baba is a man of exquisite taste.
Honestly Stan's scream is like the funniest thing too me from the show.
The CIA barely gets brought up anymore though. I think Stan made a joke about only working there part time a few weeks ago. It’s mostly just another tool for the writers if they have something good for it but not something they need to tie themselves to anymore.
>DID YOU SEE THAT HAROLD THAT MAN TRIED TO PUT HIS PACKAGE IN THAT MAILBOX!
>Maybe he thought it was a FEmailbox
>DOHOHOHOHOHO!
>....It's been 9 years since Judy died
*drops sophisticated tone and said in a retarded voice* "Ha! I was only PRETENDING to be a genius"
This one from a recent episode got me good.
>Wow Giseppi this is really good did you draw this?
>*Thick Italian Accent* A SI A SI AYA TRACE EET!
>What?
>*Drops Accent* I traced it.
>What the hell is in that sauce
Tearjerker
Rapture
Vietnam War reenactment
Telethon
Stan is iceskating
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This side-plot makes me lose it every time, but the limo in the bathroom is the peak.
STELIOS
>are you really going to kill 5 people over $20
>are you really asking that to the guy who just last week killed 6 people over $19
That's good too, but this is actually what I was referring to. It's a bit of a spoiler for anyone who has seen the episode.
>Stan: This midnight fishing trip is exactly what I needed to get away from Francine today!
>Dick: What's the matter with the Mrs?
>Stan: oh, it's the anniversary of a really nasty fight we had last year.
>Bullock: What did you fight about?
>Stan: Oh, I forgot our anniversary.
>[beat]
>Dick: uh-
>Bullock: Wait for it...
>[beat]
>Stan: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
>Bullock: There it is.
>BABA!
>I answered the question!
rums the only thing that gets my engine going
rum rumrumrumrum
>Hello, can I get Marshall's customer service?
>YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T EXIST??
i find his total innocence after that to be much funnier
>Baba!
>What? I answered the question!
that was such a hot burp
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The new season has been really nice. The scene with Roger elbow dropping Chaz was my favorite in the whole show so I'm glad we got something similar with Twinanigans.
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>There is so much beauty in the world
What was the twinanigans scene?
Also the Doug and Busters bit when he SUPER overkills that one worker.
My favourite part is Stan's reaction when Roger asks him if Chaz is okay
Cliché as it was, I loved everything about the stoned adventures of Stan and Roger.
>How did we get out of there?
>I think we did some sweet maneuvers from that movie Backdraft.
>I never saw Backdraft.
>*gasp* Me either
Or
>Why is there a leopard on the Cheetos bag? Wait, it's a cheetah. Cheetah. Cheetos. There is so much beauty in the world.
And last but not least
>Why do my wrists hurt?!
>'Cause you're lying on them
The delivery always, always kills me.
They do it every few seasons. Avery, then Luis, now fattie. Grant you they don't make him do crazy shit like those two but still.
Stonemind.
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Anytime they get Patrick Stewart to say crazy or weird shit is great
>>Why do my wrists hurt?!
>>'Cause you're lying on them
left out the ending
>how can you hear my thoughts?
does it seem like the B stories are written by a different crew sometimes?
just watching the Jeans/Eyebrows episode now and the Eyebrows plot is fucking killing me
>Steve! It looks like you've gained a hundred pounds and grew a foot taller, if it wasn't for those bushy eyebrows I wouldn't recognize you
>Okay we're going to parachute in and kill the terrorists
>GASP
>And then tell detailed stories to prove we're not virgins
>GASP
this
i came to love tuttle after realizing he couldve been much worse, like the koala
>Oh thank god I'm only the secretary.
>yeah i got in the episode
>me too
>pay me bitches
>The horse is ruined, Stan raped it, you’re probably gonna lose the house.
BOUNCING BOUNCING VODKA ANDY DIIICK
you only get one, horse stan
>Stan, come on. Dick don't pay for strange. It says that on my coffee mug.
I need to get a mug that says that for my friend.
I want to say the creative team is just super loose with what they can do. It feels like anything can happen in each episode. I also want to blame their golden cast. Chris and Meg only ever really do stuff when it revolves around school, neighbors, or family. But Steve and Hayley feel like they can do just as much zany crap as their dad does. It also seriously helps that Roger is part of the cast, as he usually takes someone along on his hijinx.
STELIOS KONTOS
That eyebrows thing was probably the funniest fucking subplot I've ever seen.
>He's replaced me with another Fay pansexual nonhuman!
>Egaaaads, who are YOU calling fay!?
Goddammit I love that joke.
just a more versatile premise really, Stan in the CIA can mean they're middle class, or poor-ish (low paying government job), or have the whole government's resources at their disposal
along with Roger having basically no limits
Mmm... Sweet berries.
get enough sleep last night?
oh fuck i came here to post this
completely lost my shit
>Katie
I can hear this image
>no Coco
>Nooo the have sammy haggar's Jaegermeister. HAGGARMEISTER!
>*pop* YEAAAH BAAAYBEEE!
>Julia
I forget the actual line but
>(In time with his pull-ups) Kill... You... Ricky Spanish...
>(Super effeminate gay man in the same cell)"Wow, exercising while saying things you hate really works!"
>(Doing lunges) "Jean...jackets... Timothy's bangs..."
>I am?
>III AMM? haha just kidding step inside and I'll hook you up
>Steve I'm gonna do this
>I'll come with
>I'LL COMEE WITHH you're worse than this guy
I dunno why but a lot of small moments like that get me
>(Softly and reassuringly) Bitch, what did I just say...?
>Oh god... What have I done? I just killed a man. I've never even fired this gun before! Who am I to take a life?! AM MAN? OR BEAST?? BEEAAAAST!!!
>DAAADDDYYYY!!!
yeesh, get me out of here!
What is the best episode and why is it The Rapture?
Basically the entire time traveling plot of Snot and Steve, where Steve's future kept getting more cool while Snots kept getting more and more fucking awful was gold
But he's cute as a button!
why the fuck was he a turtle
>What happened to me?!
>*turtle shrieks*
>I can't even explain it to us!
I got it from my daddy!
Laid back attitude of a stone man
the fucking vietnam war reenactment was so fucking funny the first time i saw it. i also thought the mind quad gag was pretty good, wonder if they ever brought it back.
I remember I was channel surfing, and there was this scene where Roger looks off screen, nods, and then the camera cuts and zooms to him sitting in the driver's seat of a car and he nods back, then drives off.
Anyone know which episode this is from?
i think its the bar mitzvah heist one, he's the wheelman
Bar Mitzvah Hustle
>Anyone know which episode this is from?
a great one
>I'm pulling out. I'm pulling out of you. I'm sorry if I hurt you son...
>Guys overhearing this on the radio just give each other awkward looks
YOU RIDE BICYKWOW
>What the hell, Steve, you just watch The Wiz or something?
>when did I get an answering machine?
>Steve, it's Snot! Turn on the news dude. Someone is going berserk at the courthouse shooting everybody up!
>AGH! I Feel like Tara Reid on an average Tuesday
>You're not even a mammal! You're some kind of... Anti-Mammal. That doesn't really roll off the tongue... Ani-mal. Yeah, you're an ani-mal!
Been catching up lately after taking a break from the show after the last hiatus, Top of the Steve was kino.
the entire Golden Turd saga
>I'm so proud of my son. In fact, this is the wall where I keep all his awards.
>What? There's nothing there! Oh my God! They've been stolen! I better call the sheriff! We're gonna get to the bottom of this! It's ringing.
>Hello, Sheriff Perkins? Henry Fischer. Yes, yes, father of the illustrious Jeff Fischer
>Someone has stolen all his awards. All of them! Must have been several strong men with a huge truck.
>What? What do you mean, Jeff's never won an award in his entire life? But if that were true, that would mean my son is a worthless piece of crap who never accomplished anything!
>Well, sir, I'm not gonna sit here while you say those awful things about my pride and joy!
>I promise you, son. I will not rest until I get every single ribbon, trophy and letter of commendation back on that wall!
>I'm gonna go down to the bar, round up a posse. We'll get Charlie's dogs, close off the perimeter! You just sit there and keep on making me proud.
>I need something for Charlie's dogs so they can pick up the scent. Do you have your high school diploma? No? They got that too?
>I mean, I like soul-crushing sarcasm as much as the next guy, and kudos on your commitment to the bit
>My dad cares about me more than money
>There he is, there's Jeff. Can I have the money now? That's what I care about. Money. Not Jeff. Money.
>There, see?...Wait, am I money or Jeff?... Oh man, I'm Jeff
>You're the best, so you deserve the best. You deserve...fancy feast
>What?
>Sorry, I'm kinda bleedin' out here
>[Jeff uses rape whistle]
>Rodger: "Is that the "comeback and kick me" whistle?
>Toshi: *Japanese* "ah yes the alien in a wig"
>Why do you speak Japanese? I don't even speak Japanese!
>Why do you only speak Japanese?! I don't even speak Japanese
>He started it!
>So you were going to drown him in the lake?
>Well how do you kill babies?
>Stan eats an entire bottle of horseradish to spite Roger
>he immediately is in pain and vomits due to ingesting such a large amount of horseradish.
m.youtube.com
Destroys my sides everytime
>Stan, are you trying to kill yourself or thrill yourself?
Also
>Don't want to pile on, but you probably could have done a little better job with this whole suicide thing. I mean, you own guns
>Smart
>Tricky
>Energetic
>Very
>Energetic
WHO ARE YOU?
And of course the follow up
>If anyone knows someone who has recently died with an intact size 3 sphincter please contact me as I am currently very low on the waiting list
What makes it is he sounds like hes trying his hardest not to have a girly scream.
Why is Dad time so funny, but Peter time so not funny aside from a few fringe laughs?
American dad is seth's sister's thing, family guy is seth's. Kinda shows the sister has the better comedy bone.
>Are you familiar with... the abominable sciences?
>The Coffee slowly forms Steve's face.
damn, I didn't realize
But women aren’t funny
The line delivery was so perfect in that scene.
Always makes me laugh
I forgot stan started hitting on one after the wedding
>Apparently God does love gays, but only if they're tops.
>I'm straight thin, but I'm gay fat.
The new season is such a return to form. This slayed me.
The barmitzmah heist
(whispering) 'I'll call you back'
Fine killingsmanship.
This, Jenny, and Stan wanting to set things on fire. They're gags that SHOULD BE unfunny and stupid, but are perfect.
its been established
>Turlington
>Boring
Turlington is the best character in the show.
>Nutri-Grain Bar and a Mountain Dew~
Can you believe she wanted me to lie and tell you we've been friends since high school? Man, how could I do something like that to you, we've been friends since high school!
Seth's family used to be catholic before they became atheists so that's all he knows
And Luiiizzz
You go. I'm just going to sit here and think about how I almost killed a baby.
Isn't American Dad Disney now?
[Stan leaves Greg & Terry's house]
Tank: Look at him. He's just gonna float away. Float away like a fairy.
[Stan carries two heavy trash cans to the sidewalk]
Tank: Look at him! Carrying those heavy trash cans like a girl!
[Stan moves a giant boulder]
Tank: I bet he wished that rock was a big, naked man!
[Stan wolf whistles at a lady on a bike]
Tank: Yeah, whistle a show tune, YA DRAG QUEEN!
that chart needs an update
>Stan: Please don't give me a ticket.
>Meter Maid: Sorry, I already started.
>Stan: Well, then tear it up.
>Meter Maid: I can't do that.
>Stan: Yes, you can! Paper is weak and you are strong!
that gag where they kill off 99 characters at once
Japanesemind
No, it’s TBS which is AT&T
The one where Stan goes all superman and tries to turn back time.
when steve dreamt of francine strip dancing
Top of the steve
Friendsly - Noun; Not actually friends. Strangers.
>he’s got red eyes from smoking weed
>I really can’t believe that you’re an educator Brian
>Hello? - Francine, it's me.
>Stan, where are you? - I'm here with Liberty.
>Who? - Liberty Belle.
>It's the name I gave the baby I'm saving.
>Poor girl, I think she's slow.
>She's just staring at her cheeseburger.
The idea that Stan thinks a newborn baby would be able to feed itself a cheeseburger really cracks me up.
She's layered, displaying incest milf, turbothot and a few other vibes that feel modestly consistent. She's blond, proportioned well and looks/acts/sounds like a proper wife.
Meanwhile I feel like a pleb for only remembering one amusing line at the moment, and it's not even good
>Keeevan Rammmage!
>Roger dress as a southern mother
>"I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and don't die."
>did she have a tattoo of burt Reynolds on her stomach?
>no its Victor from the young and the restless
>ynr theme starts playing
For me its trapped in the locker
>Did the cabbie survive?
>No the damn fool was driving sober.
>tell them about how you killed our baby Amanda?
Bretty good.
The episode when Stan is into slot-car racing and Francine drinks Windex and fertiliser.
>There's an easy way to fix this. Just sleep with one of his co-workers.
>That works.
>Or that super-ripped fish. He's hot.
>Oorr, someone close to him...like his little buddy Steve.
>No, I'm not sleeping with Steve!
>life.... Dismissed...
>you should know I'm a drunk
just like my father
>and I have no genitals
That's okay, I have both
What’s the funniest American Dad episode?
>yo tracy, you gonna lift weights?
>yeah brian, nothing left to do in here but get strong
>what you looking at bitch?
>bitch? im looking at YOU bitch!
>uh oh!
>stabbing sounds, then what sounds like a riot
the fact that lewis looks on that scene fondly kills me when i think about it. i also want more scenes with francine fighting off candyman
How can a show's rating get dropped from 9M to 0.7M?
en.m.wikipedia.org
I’m very fond of Rail Roaded. It doesn’t have any truly standout single jokes likeRogwr and Francine’s Virginia Woolf breakdown, but as a whole I think it’s the most solid episode.
What did bullock say that made the Koala go 'you have a mother and you said all that'?
>Daddy, will you read to me?
>Who the hell are you?
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The Garfield line really caught me off-guard the first time I watched it.
i use this code phrase and still no one in my life knows what it's from. Code secure
Anyone else like Klaus when he's not just a loser? The time Steve and Roger are terrified of him is fun
>vengeful flames of a thousand suns!
I also like the german references in movies one
>You don't know why the Americans and Germans were fighting in ww2?
>...
>Nobody knows.
Those are television ratings. More people are watching American Dad on the internet or streaming sites because they want to avoid paying for Cable.
42 Year Old Virgin will always be an infinitely rewatchable classic in my book.
Joint Custody or Stan's Night Out
>What's with these cards, bad Larry, you're killing me with these cards!
Why is american dad so fun and memorable while family guy sucks?
this popsicle tastes kind of funny
>wait you came back from jewish camp?
>We have other sayings, but they mostly involve genocide.
>You're never gonna get away with this Stan! You know I'm gonna tell them, why would you even call me?
>Because something hard and black just fell off the baby's belly button and I thought it was beef jerky...am I gonna die, or am I stronger than ever?
>They call me Chilly, cause I got ice in my veins!
Also
>*Bad Larry talks about his first kill*
>My God, Bad Larry! One time can I get a hand!
>Everyone, this is James! I found him curled up under the dart machine smelling of urine and despair! His sport jacket, as you can see, is made of NEWSPAPERS! He keeps mumbling that he'd rather die than pay that whore alimony, which in my book is a green light.
Fuck I miss Bad Larry.
Stan was excommunicated in one episode and that's a catholic thing.
You know what’s amazing?
The Cleveland Show and Family Guy both made overly dramatic, non-comedic episodes in an attempt at Emmy baiting and bullshit like that.
American Dad?
A fucking shark came in the house, fought a bear- also in the house- and Stan fucking harpooned someone. No drama here.
When Bullock offers god's autograph, he says
>protestants only
and Stan's disappointed, yep
James? Like jim? Like jim davis, the man who opened his heart to the world and gave us garfield?
Better cast. With FG you get pretty much a Peter or a Stewie story. With the occasional Chris story or Brian story. The cast is all much more likable
When Stan gets wrapped up in what the neighbours think so he has the CIA evict em all
>Francine, good news! I no longer care what our neighbours think, because they're no longer our neighbours. In other words, there goes the neighbourhood! Ha ha ha, ordinarily that would have racist implications but I've actually done something far worse
That and when he starts getting the couch cushions to laugh at his jokes
>AND WHO COULD FORGET-
And they reminded us of the greatest movie of all time. National Treasure 2
>when he starts getting the couch cushions to laugh at his jokes
when he "makes a family with the cushions"
>a scene later he almost gets caught with a cushion
Ollie North!
Ollie North!
He's a hero!
And a patriot!
And a novelist!
And now he's on Fox News!
Guys they've literally showed his church. They're Episcopalians.
THERE'S SO MUCH CRIME IN THE DESERT
Why can't you starve in the desert? Because of the sand that is there.
Is that a joke they made in the show about a character mangaling the classic joke?
Because that irritates me, even more than sand does.
>This is the guy who made that show Quintuplets.
Me likey the one where they went to prom?
>No, it was awful! They were all awful!
I feel like every single Christian denomination showed up in that montage of Stan beating up Roger as Jesus. Maybe they all agreed to kick him out of every sect of Christianity?
Oh, and keeping the thread on-theme:
>You seeing this shit?
>But /you/ named him Nemo.
Honestly my favorite. I’ve used it in real life like the autist I am
“No Weddings and a Funeral” – Monday Aug. 12 at 10:00pm ET/PT
Klaus leaves the family after one too many harassments. 15 years later, they reconnect for his funeral
>the whole We're Red and We're Gay song
>Stan just stands there quietly looking around
>when it finishes the only thing he has to say is "Where did you get this confetti?!"
It's simple but always makes me laugh
That episode was great. One of the examples I always use when people say American Dad only got good after they dropped the politics angle.
I like it when he bullys Roger and Steve for playing with toy cars
> & just like playing with yourself it will never come close to the real thing
IT'S FUCKING COMING
You best not go bananas Steve.
After he makes them wait to refund money to Terry's card
>Are we stupid, Steve? No, honestly, are we? I mean, I have a Master's in city planning from Howard University. I could tell you where your convention center should go, but I can't tell you when a fish is giving me the business.
Catholics with money.
Whats Yea Forums's opinion on the episode where klaus & roger get together? My best friend was texting me about the first time he saw it & I'd like to poll around.
Not great, but not as bad/cheap as it should be. Roger's craziness montage was good.
The episode about his first kill came right after an episode where he suffered amnesia/a blow to the head at the end of an episode
Their priest also wears his collar at the pool and doesn't believe in god so...
Wait, is Tuttle Jewish? I'm watching that episode when he's Snot's dad and I just noticed the line where Stan says "It makes sense, they're both a little... New York."
In the very same episode, he said he's wiccan.
Ah yeah, should have finished the episode before posting.
Why did they keep the name Stan gave the baby?
>I really can't believe you're an educator Brian...
>Ehh... My job is really more administrative
It's a good name
That scene where Roger and Hailey are at a restaurant, and the waitress compliments Hailey's order but not Roger's, so Roger wants revenge against the waitress.
Holy shit. My sides
for me its Cookie and Scarlett
He spilled his spaghetti but in the creepiest way.
>I was at Ground Zero
>I was the first one on the scene selling erotic t-shirts
>Osama bin Sexy
>Sexy bin Laden
>Yo Momma bin Fartin
>...that last one was not erotic to everybody
>They made this idiocy work
I envy these bastards
>Oh No! Jewel looks like a grown as man!
>Wait
>Did Principal Luis kill his secretary?
>....The FINALS, Haley!
>In here, all life begins and all life ends, I believe we go back into an egg when we die
>Wait, you're not our air conditioning repairman, that's our air conditioning repairman!
>Waaait a minute, we don't even have air conditioning!
why tf is this so funny?
Im dying
Going back to the Max gutenberg, fake ID episodes, Danuta was a friend of Hailey even then.
Crazy how this was only a couple of episodes ago. I don't think Family Guy or The Simpsons could put out something so funny in the later seasons.
>Have there ever been other tough times for Jewish people?
>...
>Yes.
BEHOLD A GROWN MAN WEEPING LIK
“In high school, my nickname was Super Friend... actually it was Super Mouth... actually it was Suck Machine."
>Jewish history is a history of unethical conduct! First the Pharisees killed Jesus Christ, the only true son of God. And isn't it true the Jews put a "secret sauce" in their Reuben's that is actually just thousand island?! And who shot Gianna Versace?! Was it a Jew? I don't know, it was in Miami.
GIMME SOME OF THAT FRANNY FANNY
>And also, your sister, Jinnie Gold
>So much stuff makes sense right now.
Roger's persona are fun, but the way the world functions around them is much better.
Probably how she knew Valik. He and Ricky Spanish must have had some history
>Jeff falls into the river and gets pulled away to die.
>They scream his name.
>He just responds "What?"
I've been wondering that for a while myself and I still haven't come up with a satisfactory answer. I think I just need someone much smarter than I am to break this shit down in any meaningful way because I don't understand -why- I think it's so funny. On the surface it just looks like your typical shitty cringe-genre gag, but there's something special about it that makes it way funnier than anything else in that humor category has a right to be.
true that, fren
YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ON THAT CROSS, YOU LAZY, WINE-LOVING, BISEXUAL!
I know, right?
>Good thing that guy knew the truth about Mormons.
>I know what you did to our kids, you sick monster!
>Why, why can't I leave things nice?
Speaking as somebody who hasn't really watched the show, it's just a simple well-constructed gag. Take a basic element of comedy (the two-sided misunderstanding; Klaus can't speak properly and Danuta misinterprets his call), play it up to absurdity (Klaus not only cannot speak the way he intends, he speaks a way the no one could possibly speak accidentally), give it a slightly dark twist for flavor (the specific misunderstanding is that Klaus sounds like a pervert/maniac), sell it properly but not excessively in execution (slight pauses and lingering to play up the dark twist, but not so much that the joke becomes old). The specific "Whys" of humor are a subject of debate but this is just a solid absurd joke.
Classic Barry
Maybe I'm just so accustomed to garbage fucking jokes that when a decent one pops up it's mind boggling.
Gwen was in the car that ran over Simon
I think it might be simpler than people are letting on
>Dee Bradley Baker's a really good VA
>Danuta is a funny name
>German is a funny accent
It's a perfect storm of funny.
>AND THAT'S WHY MY DAD DIDN'T GO TO HIS DAD'S FUNERAL AND WHY I WON'T GO TO MY DAD'S FUNERAL!
Of all the shit mcflarne or wathever the guy name is, Francine is the only character that feels like well, a character.
>his plan is to take her and her dates order
>I'll have the X
>excellent order
>I'll have the same
Just that pained stare and moment of silence is great
>He's a giant spider, except this spider hates God, young mothers, and only loves one thing: masturbating on the American flag.
Phantom of the Telethon
Tearjerker
100 A.D.
Lincoln Lover
My Morning Straitjacket
I don't really think My Morning Straitjacket is particularly good but it got me into My Morning Jacket.
this guy gets it
The fact that Cougar Boost growled when the can was cracked always got me.
>Jeff! We thought you died!
>Nope!
>Alright.
"Our allies were the Contras! Freedom was their mantra so we gave them lots of money, and guns!"
It isn't my favorite but I really like this one:
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Roger slowly moving his head with that shocked/disgusted looked on his face and Steve and Hailey's awkward reactions to it are great.
the timing of that last pause was great
I feel like this is funnier with the censor beeps
I like the scene where Francine is high and chugs a bunch of Orange Crush and burps haha
And landmines!
I think there's another level where he's also asking her to dinner. Would you go to this place, do you eat...japanese. I'll treat you to dinner >I've got the money
Amazing how I only found it a little funny at first then the line "that was...chilling" somehow brings all the built up tension and everything that happened together to make the whole thing absolutely hilarious in a way you experience all at once.
The best part about that scene is how part of her hair is sticking up from when Jeff jizzed in her face.
What
WHAT
The episode where people keep getting in trouble during the announcements and you hear Louis talk about how he should have kept moving coke and how he was always rewards with "girls, not women, girls"
why the hell is america dad still fresh while family guy is just shit
>I'm goin' with the colonel~
>Gonna be safe the colonel~
>Gonna be ALONE with the colonel...
>Did you say something, colonel?~
>I didn't quite catch that, colonel~
>Goin' to the shed with the...colonel...
>Never seen that look from the...colonel...
it's a combo of all of this, plus the relatability of being nervous, not knowing what to say and on top of that not even saying the little you do know
I am loving Claus this season
Speaking of Bones:
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I'm surprised how accurate this is
In the newest episode where they start singing to Butterfly was pretty great. I also love "Boil Water...what am I a chemist?" and "Doctors are stupid Roger, they're just failed Dentists"
It's all the actors too.
Tuttle speaking to himself at the mall was great
I haven't watched the new seasons. Did Steve ever score?
It was implied he did in a closet in one episode but I have no idea if its confirmed that he did.
He might have, during an episode where Steve pledged his virginity to Stan, and Stan let him hook up with a girl
possibly, but not confirmed on screen
In the yearbook picture of the girl in closet, there's a
>pop goes the cherry
caption
So.
Yeah.
Also, speaking of
So.
Yeah.
How good was the roadtrip to snot's dad's funeral episode?
Loved that episode. Loved Snot’s freak out by the vending machine
Klaus in a black man's body
>at the drug store
>moves past small condoms
>moves past medium condoms
>moves past large condoms
>stops at a box of garbage bags
>shakes one out, smiling and nodding
>fills it up with boxes of medium condoms
don't know why but that one got me
He was still treated as a virgin in the eyebrow swap episode.
Not necessarily, he could have been afraid because he didn’t know Stan’s first time.
>DO YOU REMEMBAH
>Dick controlling a black man
>At a drug store
>Gets the extra small condoms
>"Do you have anything smaller?"
>GET DOWN GET DOWN
>That doesn't make any sense...
>I'M BRAFF ZACKLIN!
I like the MJ joke from American dad.
>Roger lets go of the cat food and floats away
>How'd that get stuck in my head?
Fuck off. Unless you actually meant to post this one
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>I was caught having sex with a man and I'm being excommunicated.
Remember when Stan as a child raped his priest?
There was no actual fucking.
I love Jeff's expression the whole time.
>"Ooooooh that's a whoopsie"
Never fails to make me laugh
>You followed Steve all day?
Yep, followed you last week, don't know what you thought was in your butthole in the Target parking lot but you were really going at it
Also in the same episode
Steve, a homosexual giant called and he wants his shirt back
>giant black man calls him and says he found it
Never mind he found it
>COWARD! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!
shredded it
>I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE HOMOSEXUAL GIANT
>Steve, Stan, Francine, and Lewis are all discussing Steve's bully problem.
>Cuts to Stan in his bully outfit outside the window.
>"You better not say a fucking word."
>Cuts back to Stan in his normal outfit with everyone else
They’re extended the Cheetahs Cheetohs joke right? It doesn’t go this long in the actual episode? You can even tell by the weird in between frames of the start of the joke and when it finally ends right?
Yeah it's edited for some reason
Seth is so unfunny that even women are funnier than him
I still can't believe they actually tried to make him a constant character, and had him dating haley too like wtf?
what the fuck happened to steve
>"I don't know why I wanted him, but I wanted him!"
probably to avoid copyright detection
Literally all he does is read voice lines and write checks
>NO! I WON'T DO DIVE ON IN!
>*dive on in*
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>"Tell them about how you killed our baby, Amanda."
>"Jordan, NO!"
>Yep, followed you last week, don't know what you thought was in your butthole in the Target parking lot but you were really going at it
>"I used to be six inches tall! Now I am daddy's favorite! Look at me waaaaaalk!"
>"Ohh my god..."
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It's great how on-board he is with all of this. As a huge fan of TNG, it's great to see him finally find the role he was born to play.
I can't believe you're an educator Brian
DID SOMEONE JUST DROP A HOUSE ON ME
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first time I watched Logan all I can think of during this scene was Bullock
Just one bucket? You have a family, Stan. Unless he eats it all himself the fat fucking shit.
It comes with sides, there's a reason they are fatasses like the Griffin family.
Fatass.
>I wanted to have another child, but her uterus was polluted from all the syphilis.
*aren't.
>I was not helping your mother with a leg cramp. I was not giving her a lying down hug. I was not helping her look for her contact. I was plowing, Steve.
Every fucking time indeed.
Actually got a belly laugh out of me. Is this show worth watching now?
>Raider Dave
As an Yea Forums denizen this made me laugh harder than it should have.
He was trying to ask her out to dinner but went full Ghostface stalker due to nervousness. That joke worked 100% because of the delivery. Baker was on point.
Forget just cartoons, Roger is one of the funniest TV characters of all time.
>Now, Steve?
>Sure
>Yes, I like Pina Colada