How does Superman shave his asshole? Does he ask Mon, or Kon, or Jon, or Kara for help...

Some people grow hair anywhere. Me personally I've got hair on my fingers near the knuckle. Going by my grandpa I'll have gorilla hands by my 40s.

low test

Calling bullshit.
Even girls grow hair around their anus.
You 100% have ass hair unless you're underage.

just eat better bro it's all about diet. that's such a backward ass solution.

>backward ass solution.
Hehe

Attached: 702.jpg (444x475, 24K)

Did he not know it's heat vision and not laser vision?

Who says he does?

obviously he just dips his butt in a volcano once a month.

You could always directly wash your ass with a shower, bidet or handheld douching device. I'm a pretty clean wiper myself, but I like to shower and soap up afterwards all the same

Well we need to keep posting it for people who missed it the first time. This is Superman lore that everyone needs to get correct and within canon.

This brings up a question: Superman has been shown flying through the sun in past comics correct? ...and he still had a head full of hair.

So...how is his heat vision hot enough to burn away his facial hair? If it was hotter than the sun it would melt the mirror at the very least.

gay superman can

Attached: TWSnuapollo.jpg (700x1041, 193K)

The people who want a sexy asshole.

You’ve clearly not been to /hm/.

Why does everyone assume Superman poops at all? His body probably processes food much more efficiently than a human. He could just poop out a little super dense pellet every month or so.

Only real men get fucked in the ass.

I THOUGHT OF A SOLUTION.

Solar heat super powers him and his hair, regular heat of a hot enough temperature could possible singe his hair.

>Implying everyone is like Captain Caveman.

Fags

I believe you would be referred as a ginger vertically challenged individual.

>Hobbits have to live in The Shire.

Who gets hair there even? I don’t have a nic of hair in that area past my outer cheeks

If he is sun powered it’s a possibility he coverts it all to energy and has no waste to poop

This is stupid, he's not shooting lasers out of his face, the mirror would be heated up so fast.

You and your hairless backs are, like, off the paper.

user... I have to tell you something about those “girls”...

In one of the comics or editor's notes it's stated that's it's a mirror made of the stuff his pod was made of from when he crash-landed as a baby, it's supposed to be space metal from Krypton but you know...writers forget

They are americans, user a bidet is rocket science to them, if you are american you have all my respect.

If I don't trim it up back there every so often it gets to be like shitting through two patches of old carpet, and then trying to wipe peanut butter out of said carpet.

Don't feel bad, kid. Once you hit puberty and you start growing more hair than you want, you'll understand.

People don’t grow anything.
Hair grows by itself.

In the comics, Supes doesn't use a regular mirror, because it would melt. He uses a piece of his baby rocket instead.

user people made fun of me for shaving my legs in high school. Every girl thinks I shave my whole body. And I have never had a single hair grow on my back or ass. It’s probably all the Slav and Steppe Nomad blood I got in me. Some men just don’t have body hair.

My fingers below (or above? Closer to the hand) the knuckles on each hand have some thin hair.

Is a mirror all it takes to beat Superman's heat vision?

Attached: the fuck.png (640x488, 206K)

Same. It sucks :(

Only if he’s squinting

Seems pretty obvious.

Usually it's made from a piece of the ship that brought him to earth. Even without it, Clark probably has enough fine control over his heat vision to keep it from completely vaping his mirror.

You still have to wipe your butt a dozen times even if it's shaved, and you still have to wash your butt out and inside under your shower.

The decisive thing here is your diet.

You mean pull paper out of their ass

The thing you're all forgeting is that the sphincter is a muscle, and he's Superman.

Silly OP, everyone knows Kryptonians don't grow ass hair.

I think you only have a 50% chance of that happening, I don’t think hairy palms are a dominant trait

>How does Superman shave his asshole?
More like how does he WIPE his asshole?
You'd think supershit would be so superclingy that normal human toilet paper would be no match for it.

Attached: 1550100435189.png (1200x1706, 822K)

someone who keeps it busy

Attached: 1546779141246.jpg (286x307, 34K)

so, a quiz?

Y’all need to eat some more fiber

You mean only his fabulous hairs can survive the heat?

This, if anything he poops more than a horse

Um, how do you know so much about ass hair?

>literally just want a bidet because I'm sick of wiping.
>parents refuse to get one or allow one to be hooked up because they don't like cold water on their asses

heat vision is honestly a stupid silver-age power that doesn't make any sense for him to have.

>superman will never return to merely:
>jump good, run-good, punch-good, see/hear-good.
>instead needs a bunch of extra shit that doesn't make any sense.

but the shits not a apart of him anymore so its just regular shit

while i feel bad for you user i have to agree that a cold water stream directly to asshole isnt pleasent

supes doesnt shit, he doesnt have a butthole

Who wants to think that much about what they eat?

I'd argue of all his secondary and tertiary powers, "heat vision" is one of the more palatable. I'll take it over things like ice breath, super hearing and even his other ocular powers. It's simple, but versatile.

Also don't forget that Superman has been bulletproof since day one.

Getting closer to the sun makes every part of him stronger, including his hair.
I just made that up but it's just as believable as anything else

As a literal hobbit, I am offended!

I mean, its just dookie, made from whatever Superman's been eating, which is (typically) normal earth food. Only thing that would maybe be a curveball is whatever gut bacteria gets out and if its Kryptonian in nature, which could be bad times with super-bacteria mucking up the ecosystem.

I put way too much brainpower into this thought process.

I understand this reference but never watched it

You probably do. Even if you can't see it, you can still feel it

Poop contains your DNA imprint, so even if he ate Earth food his body turns it into Kryptonian powersludge much like how the sun gives him super strength

Attached: 1491231224875.jpg (1065x992, 299K)

What is it a reference to?

Isn't there a better meme for this sentence?

How about Jazz getting thrown out in Fresh Prince?

super fertilizer.

Jon is only interested in one asshole and it belongs to some bastard mutt.

He needs to have meat vision.

He flies over Kent farm once a month with his pants down shitting on all the crops to help ma and pa

I have no body hair; three nipples; one eyebrow, and virtually no personal scent. I try to avoid sentinels.

Peace on Earth claimed that Superman doesn't need to eat and never feels hungry, but I'm not sure if that's canon anymore.

Got a cleaner picture?

Some drawfag draw this pls

>How does Superman shave his asshole?
Lex doesn't belong to Superman, and is naturally bald, he doesn't require shaving.

A volcano or a supervolcano?

Kryptonians canon dont have assholes. Pleb

>"Hey user, you about done in there?"
>"Sorry, i took a shit so I felt the need to completely strip down, get in the shower, soap up my ass, rinse, take the time to dry off, and get re-dreseed."

Whenever I get really bad diarrhea, the acid burns my asshole hair off

Nah, unless you have a mirror that is 100% reflective (not even theoretically possible) the energy absorbed will quickly torch the mirror.

Once you go bidet, there is no other way.

You shower everytime you BM?

Am femanon, I shave butt hairs every once in a while. Practically everyone has or will have, ass hair.

What do you need to eat to have easier-to-clean poops?

Gross. Girls shouldn't have butthair

kek

Since he's basically powered by the sun that does make some sense. He certainly isn't fueling his super muscles et al. with normal calories from food. Though I'm sure food still tastes good to him, even if he doesn't feel hunger.

Kryptonians do not have assholes. They absorb everything, no waste to dispel. Well maybe Jon and Conner have ones.

I tried shaving my ass once just to see if it would actually help with wiping, it did sweet fuckall other than make my crack itch like a motherfucker.

Attached: 123413241234213.png (656x805, 496K)

I'm so happy that despite myself having a beard and chest Hair I have no asshole hairs.

Didn't Superman make a razor from his Spaceship?

A better question would be how is his heat-vision hot enough to trim his super-dense hairs but not hot enough to melt the mirror and everything else behind it

nanomachines, son

Attached: Perfect Sense.png (1487x974, 108K)

Underrated post

>How does Superman shave his asshole?
Spread eagle in front of a mirror

fuck you this made me laugh