Why are they called slime PIES when they are quite clearly just slime ladled into tins?

Epilogue ruined nothing other than the day of obnoxious fanfiction-writing tumblr fans who forgot what the characters are like and never understood neither the humor nor the themes of Homestuck.

After reading the webcomic, all I can guess is that insane clown posse video fucking triggered something in him

I thought turning Jake into a cuck was pretty funny, but I guess that's not "classic homestuck"

He was kept sedated by the slime pies he ate, and when Dave showed him the video of the ICP "Miracles" video that the Condesce sent him he had a crisis of faith, stopped eating the pies, and realized his blood caste's nature as executioners, taking vengeance on the kids indirectly, and his "friends" directly. During the meteor trip he had a revelation and worked as the jovial, capricious clown ready to serve Caliborn, the deity he worshiped from his young age. In Meat this happens. In Candy he instead is freed, has another "revelation" and decides to become a shifty, shady preacher, whose influence still begets destruction around him. Vriska killed this Gamzee in a fit of rage, and Calliope predominated in the future as a result.

In short, don't trust clowns.

You lack reading comprehension skills. Cuck Jake was absolutely funny.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Homestuck Epilogues.

Threadly reminder that Jade has a BIG DOG DICK

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Is this bait? I know that homestuck fags are autistic but that's pretentious as fuck.

It's funny that every time this pasta is posted, it's by an actual idiot in response to an actual smart post.

how new are you

he was shit from the beginning, friend

>I'm smart ur stupid because I said so
>a baseless claim is a smart comment

If you were smart you would have argued against the claim instead of posting a meme that literally positions yourself as a stupid person making fun of smart people.

That's what the meme imply dipshit, you're just being pretentious without giving any actual argument, there is no need to refute anything because there is nothing to refute, you just make empty claims without anything to sustain it.

he's a shitty cook

BANJO.
YOU THERE. BANJO.
BANJO, QUIT ALL THIS ROSTERFAGGING.
DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN GET IN SMASH BEFORE I DO?
HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO PREDATE ME
WHEN I AM ALREADY IN?

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>you will never come home and rush on the computer to check mspa again
>you will never find a daily update waiting for you again
>you will never eagerly read it, amazed at how hussie has upped the ante, again
>you will never im you friends about the update, excitedly speculating on what's coming next, again
i want to go back bros

Now I'm just wondering when she first noticed, because a lot was happening at the time she went dogtier and that's kind of a lot to take on top of everything else

Friendly reminder that ultimate selves is a shit concept and Hussie is a hack

>Friendly reminder that ultimate selves is a shit concept
Explain why

Because it's retarded and completely invalidates character arcs.
Oh wait I forgot, characters don't need to have arcs if you're master writer Hussie

Not him but it pretty much destroy one of the comics main gimmicks of characters consistently dying and being replaced by alternate universe counterparts.

No it doesn't brainlet, the whole point is that across the timelines in Homestuck - not to mention all the fanfiction out there, which also deals with the essences of the characters - the characters have a lot of arcs, and not all of them go in the same direction.

>the characters have a lot of arcs, and not all of them go in the same direction.
Up until the ultimate self comes along and fucking ends them all.

>Because it's retarded
This is a non-answer that explains nothing
>and completely invalidates character arcs.
Explain further

No it doesn't, ultimate selves expresses the concept that people are not 100% blank slates and so behave certain ways across all realities, and can subsume other souls and consciousnesses into their own. Nepeta is no longer alive, for instance, but she lives on as a part of Dave now.

>108062887
>you will never im you friends about the update, excitedly speculating on what's coming next, again

For the longest time in my life, I was pretty sure I was the only person who was reading HS. I live in a non-english speaking country, so the idea of someone else there knowing about this (back then) tiny part of the webosphere was unimaginable to me. But then I started talking with someone in my class. A cute nerdy type like Jane. And a whole new world has opened to me. I haven't seen her in a long, long time; in lieu of both of us moving to different countries. Since then, other than you guys, I never had the opportunity to speak to anybody about this stuff, despite me still being incredibly passionate about this (even if I lie to myself). I wonder how she's doing.

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But it doesn't, it's an aggregate. The Ultimate Dirk is a combination of all the Dirks across the story. He's the Dirk that fell in love with Jake, and he's the Dirk that abused Dave. He's the Dirk that reconciled with his family, and the Dirk that wandered off into fragmented oblivion. All of those arcs exist within him, and what he does follows from all of them.

And he's also the Dirk that became ARquiusprite, the same Dirk that fused with Gamzee and Caliborn to become Lil' Cal, the same Dirk that incarnated as Doc Scratch, and the same Dirk that was reborn again as Lord English. All of these people are part of him now.

You're just proving my point. You listed a whole slew of characters that have just been deleted and replaced by "Ultimate Dirk"

He didn't replace them, he incorporated them together.

I didn't take your bank account, I just incorporated into mine

You realize all those characters were dead, right? Equius died against Gamzee. Nepeta was beaten to death by Gamzee too. Caliborn was defeated by Jake and Dirk. Gamzee was killed by Dirk. Doc Scratch was killed by Lord English. And Lord English was killed by John, Dave, and Calliope.

Through an Ultimate Self, existences long-since extinguished may live again. And the vessel by which that accepts these wayward souls must struggle to establish dominance against a slew of existences now threatening their own humanity and identity. Dirk could not do it alone, the evil shards of his united soul overpowered his will to be nice, though he still acts in his friends' interests. This is the madness that results from too much information gleaned into one semi-mortal mind.

you realize none of these characters are real right
you can't steal something that doesn't exist

>All of these people are part of him now.

So that's what it means to be a destroyer (Prince) of souls (of Heart). Destroys other souls (dream ghosts) while being a fusion of various souls himself (LE's components). Dirk described himself as 'heartless', and essentially, destroys others' souls through rewriting them into his own yaoi fanfiction.

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Again that's against the whole comic gimmic of killing characters just to replace them by identical clones, they are now one single being in some way. So the characters were never replaced, they are the same person they are all alive.

Homestuck had it's protagonist killed pretty soon(John) and he was replaced by another John, Hussie even made sure to remind you that the original John was not the one in the main story by showing him several times through the story. Rosecat breakdown about how she could never be with Kanaya again was supposed to remind you that post retcon Rose was not the Rose you saw through most of the comic.

Now this is all gone, the characters in some way never died now.

>Lord English was killed by John, Dave, and Calliope.

Don't you mean Davepetasprite?

Some part of me wonders how much of that is true and how much is just Dirk's own self-depreciation and Strider monologuing at work. Knowing Dirk, probably both, impossible to tell.

How foolish of me to forget. Yes, Davepetasprite (Nepeta and Dave) contributed significantly too. Davepetasprite is why Ultimate Dave is part Nepeta too, because Davesprite exists as part of Ultimate Dave, bringing the Rogue of Heart along for the ride.

he's so based

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If I entered Heaven when I died, I would have no recourse but to immediately aim to beat the crap out of one Andrew Hussie. This is why I must descend into hell (by choice)

Death was never meaningful in Homestuck. Remember the goddamn dream bubbles that we spent years (both in-story and in real time) exploring?

>created the universe
>made sure all the beta kids knew each other and introduced them all
Jade deserves more happiness than any of them.

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>Now this is all gone, the characters in some way never died now.
You mean just like the whole comic? There's been tons of ways to come back to life since forever.
>Dreamself backup life
>Godtier Heroic/Just conditional ressurrective immortality
>Godtiering process just by itself
>Permanent death results in a half-life as a physical ghost in the dream bubbles
>Sprite prototyping resurrection
>Jane/Feferi's single-use resurrections
>Ring of Life resurrections
>Alternate timeline replacements
This is nothing new whatsoever.

It was an addition to tell you the epilogues aren't canon, since she doesn't have a tail or dick or anything besides the ears in proper canon (as per Lexxy's comments).

>Explain further
I don't see why you need this to be spelled out for you, but sure.
Dirk had an arc of learning about his flaws as a person, about how he had trouble with empathy and could be blind to how his actions might hurt his friends.
After coming to terms with these issues and growing from the experience, all of that growth was invalidated he was then turned evil because Hussie decided that one of the kids had to be a traitor.

I mean pretentious was pretty much the defining goal of the epilogues. Pretentious in content, but also pretentious of Hussie to assume he still has that much good faith built up with the fandom and people are willing to consider his incompetence him "trolling" them.

>all of that growth was invalidated he was then turned evil because Hussie decided that one of the kids had to be a traitor.
No, that growth is still there. It's just buried underneath the smouldering shards of Lord English, Lil' Hal, Caliborn, Equius, Gamzee, and Doc Scratch drowning Dirk out. Too many of his other selves became evil for this lone Dirk to fight against. But even despite that he still has his friends' best interests in mind, if by his controlling nature. Even John, who he seemingly despises, he gave passage to Terezi for a chance to revive him. The good Dirk is still there, somewhere in that dark armor of malice and manipulation.

Again one of the comic gimmick was always about characters dying and being replaced.

Original, first page John is not the same character of 90% of the comic, he died and his soul was stuck in a doomed timeline while a copy of himself had adventures as the protagonist, then the comic show the original John 3 or 4 times reminding you that the current protagonist is not the original real John.

The John Eggbert of the first page dies for good when his soul is destroyed by Lord English.

Now this is over, there is no more "replaced by alternate universe".

>that baby
I know you...

meant to reply to After the disaster that was the epilogue, do you still think that Hussie writing it would somehow solve the issues Homestuck had? Or do you still cling to the idea that Cohen and his lot are the only problem?

>i-it's still there it's just buried!
Go fuck yourself.

Dude what? I quite literally blamed Hussie in the very post you're quoting

>Dirk's own self-depreciation

Maybe that's still part of him being a Prince of Heart. Destroys his own soul by self-deprecation, falsehoods (irony), self-hate.. the usual Dirk stuff. Remember trickster mode? Dirk was the only one who didn't entirely take part in the whole mess. He just stood there, aloof. As if he was dead inside. (both metaphorically and 'literally' I suppose)

And the reason why Dave is the same (even though his classpect is much more positive) is because he took after Bro after years of abuse, whether he wanted to or not. Bro destroyed his soul (or spirit) too, by filling his head with ironic bro shit.

Why the fuck are the Striders so depressing. Actually a lot of the kids' fates are just fucking depressing. I almost forget this was supposed to be a comedy webcomic at one point.

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>i know you
Everyone knows me deep down. I am the buried desire we all have to see Jade get what she wants.

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>Dirk that incarnated as Doc Scratch
Wait what? I don't remember Dirk being part of Scratch in any way.

post kino moments

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Scratch is a subgradient of Lord English, LE is composed of AR who is Dirk.

13 y/o Dirk > Auto Responder > ARquiusprite > Lil Cal > Doc Scratch > Lord English

>Why the fuck are the Striders so depressing. Actually a lot of the kids' fates are just fucking depressing. I almost forget this was supposed to be a comedy webcomic at one point.
Dark comedy is the name of the game, and it's what happens when a group of kids have their world ripped from them, have their parental figures murdered before them, and thrust into a world where they must manage on their own. I'd compare it to Lord of the Flies, in a way.

The trolls suffered this too, however instead of being born into a peaceful society they were born into a Spartan one and expected to become killers, and some of them found that role to not suit them at all. Doc Scratch was the one who turned Beforus into the death world that was Alternia, after all. And it makes it that much nicer when moments of true happiness show forth.

Just send them to a fucking therapist, it's not like Earth C is a hellhole. There's television and soda.

Remember Lil Hal? Rember how he's part of ARquiusprite who's part of Lord English? You think LE would go down and fade out of existence so easily?

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I don't. I want her to be bullied until she cries.

Hey, if anyone wants to talk about classpects
what would you think of a classpect chart akin to a birth/natal sign chart

Where your main aspect/class is front facing, but subsequent second/tertiary classpects influence how you interact with your class