LET'S MAKE A COMIC #9

First reply is the first panel, second is the second, ect until 404. I'll draw anything and everything.

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Kamala Khan watches porn

Goku and Shrek barge in.

They'll need her help.

Pentacop has been shot and needs immediate medical attention

Shrek desperately tries to keep his bootycall alive, but pentacop lost a lot of blood.

He's a casualty in the turf war between Yea Forums and Yea Forums that was happening in Kamala's front yard.

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Kamala heals Pentacop by beating the bullets out of him with her fists. Obviously Pentacop screams in agony.

The last remaining battle damaged warriors have a face off.

On the Yea Forums side:
>Hugh Jackman Wolverine
>Optimus Prime
>Drake and Josh
>Star Platnum
>Mickey Mouse

On the Yea Forums side:
>Mario
>Vergil
>Snake
>Bayonetta
>Scud, who doesn't know where he belongs

Ash and reverse flash prepare for the autism

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Bayonnetta is handcuffed to Star Platinum

Optimus Prime is Handcuffed to Skud

Vergil is handcuffed to Drake and Josh

Snake is handcuffed to Hugh Jackman who doesn't have a head because of said Eight Pain Nine Hells

All the male characters are turned into sexy gender-bent versions of themselves.

The warden is a floating giant eggplant with a dumb haircut accompanied by Hilda as the assistant and Schnitzel as the Security Guard

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This girl comes into a prison cell acting like a douche to everyone else.

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And then The Warden is revealed to be riding on the back of the other warden as he announces the first game that is mandatory for prisoners to compete in.

Takeshi's Castle.

But who's the Warden on top of eggplant warden?

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Then we reveal where the prison is:

On the Gay Ayy's mothership.

After a brutal contest of harrowing skill and raw determination through the gravity-less ball chamber, MECHA TAKESHI APPEARS!

The Warden from Super Jail.

Damn. Now I wish I made the eggplant jailbot.

Mecha Takeshi starts to grow and becomes ULTRA TAKESHI! Just at time to fight...

And it turns out to be piloted by none other than MRS. MENDEZ!!! (literally who?)

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With a wave of his magic wand, ULTRA MECHA TAKESHI opens the airlocks!

Good thing Goofy's there to bust everyone out.

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Back in their cells, some of the survivors (Mario among them because he's new and I like to keep the focus changing for each issue if I can) spot a mysterious figure in the cell across the theirs, he is obscured by darkness but they can hear him.

"I'll tell ya how to bust out of this place... FOR TWENTY-FIVE CENTS!"

But Goofy's mags are empty, all of them

Goofy was no match for alien eggplant Jailbot because they fought in an airless environment.

Papa Smurf arrives at the jail with a chained up box ready for processing.

The box has big bold letters on it saying DO NOT OPEN.

The prisoners wake up for another round of horrible games, all they need is to get one lousy quarter to figure out how to escape this prison game show.

What will ULTRA MECHA TEKASHI subject them to today?

Ash and Reverse flash proposes a escape plan but everyone has to fuck with Barry Allen for it to work

As all of this happens, Timon watches from a distance through his binoculars as he and his pal Pumbaa wait for the right moment to intervene.

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Mecha Takeshi (or mecha something) is what they called the Takeshi Doll in the MXC dub if I'm remembering this right. That or it was someone in a full paper mache Takeshi costume.

He is super intimidating and uncomfortable to look at.

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The blonde little girl (whose name turns out to be Alice Blossom) demands to know how to get out now.

Today's game they are all cover in oil and have to CATCH THAT PIG!

She can't do shit since she's behind bars anyway.

That's actually pretty terrifying

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And he's making you chase a pig while covered in oil.

The pig is Pumba since the intruders were discovered.

I will take that (You) and I will not return it!

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I actually don't have a discord man.

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By taking the (you) you have in fact given me one as well, which can be exchanged at the recycling plan for 50 cents. But only once per day.

The darkness in the jail cell laughs as here comes the money money moneymoneymoneymoney.

Stupid blonde girl Alice Blossom looks at the chained up DO NOT OPEN box. She wants to open it simply because someone is telling her not to.

Will anyone stop her?

But the 50 cents is the rapper 50 Cent.

The rapper is good enough for... PROFESSOR SCAM!

His Ray of Riches is powering up now!

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It's up to Goku, The King of Bumblefuckland, and Kamala to, once again, save the day.

Except no, because they called the cops on these people in the first place for shooting their friend.

It's just not their problem right now.

Are we really going to let her open that box? Is no one going to stop her?

It's no mystery box.

But then these two guys rush in out of nowhere to stop her, but she doesn't listen.

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>All I can do is watch from the corner with an erection and my faithful garden gnome

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Well shit, she opens the box and anticlimactically a defeated, bruised, straight-jacket wearing Tetsuya Nomura falls out.

He got the shit kicked out of him by those smufin' Smurfs. Now he's in jail.

Mario and Professor Scam begin their escape attempt by bribing everyone with energy money who isn't The Warden or Takeshi bot.

But he smuggled one last reverse card in his anus. He'll use it when the time is just right.

The gay aliens spend all their energy money on drugs purchased from demons.

Mario and Professor Scam make it to an escape pod, but someone stands in their way!

Security Guard Schnitzel!

Radda Radda Radda

Lord Hater breaks up the fight between the Yea Forums and Yea Forums champions by offering that they all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes instead

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Lord Hater realizes he's stuck in a time illusion and that he is temporally displaced by over an hour.

After professor scam told schnitzel to take that shit to /pol/, he and Mario we're dragged kicking and screaming to the torture chamber

Okay.

[email protected]

Cheers.

But he's not acting like his usual self, no, he's possessed by the ghost of Stinkmeaner!

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He's been possessed by the /pol/tergeist

Who then manifests outside of his body

Scud has captured Pumba because this isn't his first bullshit space rodeo.

So, what's the name of Stinkmeaner possessed Schnitzel's stand?

I don't fucking know! What? You think I watch anime?

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"What's my prize you purple clown!?" Skud demands.

Guys, I think OP has gone to bed.

Relax! He's either piss drunk or working on it.

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All expense paid trip back to Earth. Scud played the game, his debt to society is settled.

Then it's just a spooky skeleton.

Mario and Professor Scam ready themselves for a fight in the First Order looking torture room.

We cut to our other prisoners.

Snake is considered an escape plan with Headless Hugh Jackman.

"Remember when Goofy died by Eggplant Jailbot? We could use his Glocks to make lockpicks!"

But he wasn't satisfied. He still felt like he had questions to answer. Why is purple a color? Can toenails be a drink? Are traps gay?

The Warden floats down Mary Poppins style to share some wisdom with Skud.

"Yes. Yes. And No."

"Now please leave! You're getting the deathtraps rusty! And take your oversized washing machine with you!"

Ah shit! Replace the first yes with "because I say so!"

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Of course The Warden assumed Scud meant traps as in actual booby traps.

Scud decides that's good enough for him since he doesn't need to be corrupting people with the terrible things he has learned.

Ha ha ha, so quick to fall to despair!
Happy Cat would laugh at you!

So Mario and Professor Scam are trapped in a nigga moment because of Stinkmeaner's power, the ghost of Yoda appears to give them advice.

However this wasn't any ordinary Yoda, it was Joke Yoda, so his advice was worded like a Star Wars pun.

Lord Hater, who was trapped in a time illusion, is able to end the nigga moment because he is outside of time, but still unable to interact with any of them.

Mario fireballs the shit out of the torture room before escaping with Professor Scam.

The 4th be with you, May!

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No, it's Marie who always shows up uninvited, May hasn't been in any of these last time I checked.

Snake cuts through the lock using Hugh Jackman's claws. He sneaks into the confiscated evidence locker to steal the Glocks. Hilda was watching the cameras with a bag of chips. He sneaks back into the cell and tells Hugh Jackman

"We can make the lockpicks now!"

Alright guys we're neglected the other prisoners.

Make up scenarios with Bayonnetta and Star/Virgil and Drake and Josh.

Also, where the fuck is Mickey?

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He's suddenly left all of his posts!

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Probs somewhere trying to get out of these cuffs and escape.

Anyone we neglect died when ULTRA MECHA TEKASHI opened the airlock.
So if you want them to be not-dead, you have to use them.

Speaking of UMT, he's shit talking Virgil (who is stuck on a climbing wall) for never freeing the angry elephant and he should count his blessings that someone else did it for him.

"My name's not Virgil, it's Vergil! With an E."

Nomura sees his chance and uses his reverse card to shove both the kanker and the naruto character into a summoned giant blender to prevent them from getting any screen time.

From the blend we get Shenzi, the female hyena from the Lion King.
Because you have an obsession with body hair and girls with dicks, so this is what you obviously wanted.

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Fine I'll make some up you cunt!

Star and Bayonnetta survived the airlock as Star made some Dimensional scissors out of Bayonnetta's hair. The scissors teleported them to the break room full of guards.

Bayonnetta kicked Star out of the room and told her "I'll deal with it"

Few minutes later, Bayonnetta walks out with a wad of cash and is wiping her mouth.

The money attracts Professor Scam.

Meanwhile, inside the fusion Shenzi's mind, Tayuya and Marie, both the same size, and wearing bikinis, are having a conversation.
Tayuya: "What the fuck? Why did we get turned into a furry?"
Marie: "How should I know? As soon as we get de-fused, we're going to give Nomura a fate worse than DEATH!"
Tayuya: "Alright, but how the hell do we get out? Neither of us are even controlling "our" body, so what are we supposed to do right NOW?"
Marie: "We'll think of something."

Using the power of being obnoxious, Nomura and his new minion blow a hole in the spaceship while kidnapping Mario.

"Soon Nintendo's Power will be mine!"

youtube.com/watch?v=-M2mqUjgplo

Scud is deeply concerned by these events. They are almost triggering PTSD.

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Mario is so done with this shit. He activates his Final Smash and uses the vortex of flames to propel himself through space away from the crazy man and back to Earth.

Alice Blossom, having no other choice, decides to follow him in a makeshift rocket.

Professor Scam and Bayonnetta strike a deal, that dirty money is enough to power up his Ray of Riches that he might be able to defeat ULTRA MECHA TEKASHI.

Even with the panic caused by the haul breach, The Warden still has a game show to enforce.

What's the next game and who is even still alive to participate in it?

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Next game is just going to be gladiator combat over a pit of jello.

Star has to fight Vergil, but it's all just a distraction so Professor Scam can line up the perfect shot.

As Optimus Prime drifts through space, Mario collides with him.

The two call a truce since the big street war they were in was just because they were a little drunk at the time.

And they become OPTIMUS BROS! The ultimate lifeform between italians and Autobots

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Mario, using is degree in every single engineering profession, supes up Optimus so they can rocket through space.

In the distance, an encroaching fleet detects them.

Nomura rendezvous with Zerg's fleet and confesses that he doesn't know what he's doing in this story anymore. This moment of introspection allows Lord Hater to escape from his time illusion and invite Nomura on a journey of wonder and discovery.

Scud ponders to himself whether it would be more fitting for Nomura's defeat to be anticlimactic, or for it to be the climax of whatever issue it happens in.

Professor Scam decimates one of ULTRA MECHA TEKASHI'S legs, but Vergil, who didn't know about any of this, had already knocked Star in the jello.

Scud decides here and now, to end the Kingdom Hearts Saga by destroying the timeline. Of course he has a time machine built into his body from one of his previous adventures. It would kill Nomura, but Lord Hater as well. Scud doesn't care and decides it's worth it.

But the King of Bumblefuckland stands in his way.

I'll give you an option then, and OP can take the option if you want to go down this road. If not, we can just forget about it.

Zerg breaks Lord Hater's jaw with a punch "Your weakness shows! I, THE EVIL EMPEROR ZERG, shall tell you what your role is in this series Nomura! It is to kill anyone who won't play your games! You recruited me to remind you of this if you ever found yourself with doubt!"

Because we can make him irredeemable, right here, right now, but only if you want to.

By Alice Blossom, I meant the girl mentioned in

"Scud, you mustn't do this thing! There is another way to end this quickly."
So is that in favor of anticlimax? Because I have something planned for that.

Nomura can either embrace his evil impulses and KILL Lord Hater, or he can not do that.

If he kills him, he's going to aggro the shit out of almost everyone in the comic.
If he doesn't, then it can be the end of his role in the story right now.

What about somebody defeating Nomura right as he decides to go for the kill, and the comic just continues with the Nomura part of the plot resolved?

Meanwhile the flash(Barry Allen) is playing Mario party alone like a loser in his living room naked

It wouldn't be much of a defeat then. He'd just come back and do something else. He has enough bullshit surrounding him that he could come back even if Scud killed him.
Or someone would come to avenge him if the death sticks.

But do you want to do that route? Would you rather he just take Lord Hater up on the offer and leave?

And then Lacey comes in and insults him for being a loser.

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I mean permanently defeat Nomura with some other bullshit of their own.
And a legally binding contract.

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I'm very much enjoying this so far.

Mrs. Mendez, realizing that she's screwed, decides to leap out of ULTRA TAKESHI and kicks Professor Scam in the crotch.

I think we should make this less convoluted.

Nomura decides that killing Lord Hater won't make people play his games.
Uncle Iroh tells him "A man needs his rest."

Fuck everything else, Scud is sick of this convoluted bullshit. He destroys the timeline, killing Lord Hater, King of Bumblefuck, and Nomura, scattering himself across dimensions, splintering reality, and landing everyone who survived onto the same rooftop in the past, right before the naked man jumps to fight Cuck-Hold.

The real Tekashi appears to exert his authority.

But Professor Scams Ray of Riches goes out of control and starts tearing the entire spaceship apart!

But Tekashi is still there, staring, watching before speaking his first words in years, repeating what Mr. Nobody said "Everything has consequences." as his mask cracks.

Being the coward that she is, Mrs. Mendez escapes to Earth through an escape pod that showed up out of nowhere.

Everyone from the first issue must set aside their past grudges and agree to pilot the Megazord to stop the Unicron sized Takeshi from devowering the multiverse, the microverse, the nintendoverse, every past timeline of every possible mirror universe, the cartooniverse, and Mario's virginity!

Ash Ketchum makes his only prison phone call to the ash Bros, being Ash Fox and Ash Williams to go and film Barry crying naked, helping reverses plan

Frank Drebin heads towards the town of Twin Peaks, following him is his cutie patootie partner Ruby Rose from RWBY (©2013-2019 Rooster Teeth LTD, a subsidiary of AT&T communications)

Superman looks at all this shit and decides its a task for his super secret identity; mild mannered reporter Angry Videogame Nerd

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What's Ash in prison for?

Mrs. Mendez witnesses all of this and says "What is this, Pooh's Adventures?"

He went there with Reverse Flash

Julian from hit funnyman youtube channel OneyPlays shows up and says "What is this? Minecraft?"

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where Scud didn't do that...
Vergil says, "Hey, remember when my sword got the ability to separate things in DMC5? That's what's happening NOW!"
He uses a modified Judgement Cut to de-fuse Shenzi back into Tayuya and Marie Kanker! And now they're both giantesses!
Nomura can't handle the stench, he's powerless to stop them from abducting him to a pocket dimension, where they torment him for the rest of eternity, with their cocks, armpits, pubes, smegma, scrotums, piss, cum, sweat, and probably more!
Tayuya: "We would have killed you..."
Marie: "But that's too good for you."
Both: "We REEK, and this is just the beginning of your punishment!"
>Montage of Nomura being pinned under their huge hairy balls, forced to lick the smegma off of their dicks, rubbed into their unshaved armpits, and drenched in their piss and cum.

We now return to the proper story.
For some of you, I'm sorry, but for others, I am not.
The official reason is tax evasion.

Frank Drebin is looking for demon drug traffickers.

The Mechazord from the alternate reality the fight is taking place in quickly stops on both of the Giantesses. The fight breaks all previously known laws of quantum physics.

But this was all a puppet play they did in their mind prison as they are bored as shit still trapped within Shenzi who is asleep kicking her leg like a dog.

Because they're going to be stuck like this for a while.
Because I think it's funny.

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Giorno and Handsome Squidward have a heart-to-heart conversation about the direction of where this thread is going

Interesting. Didn't know how you'd go about incorporating a weird meta thing used to progress the story.

Frank Drebin and Ruby Rose™ get a telepathic message from Satoru Iwata warning them that the rapture's coming

They propose to bail out the Ashes from prison on the condition that Ash Ketchum does a perfect backflip

But the puppets were all very realistic, since it's technically their minds.
Wait, from which reality did it come from, theirs, or the main one? Or another one?

Ash Ketchum being the human disappointment that he is, breaks his neck in the process but his quasi-imortality makes it that his head gets constantly stuck on a 90 degree angle

Well it was going fine until the universal reboot (was that a fucking JoJo reference?), now I'm not sure what the fuck is happening.

I guess Takeshi is the bad guy now, or, still is?
So Penti-Cop has to fight him while Frank Drebin hunts hellish drug runners?

Thanks Re-cap Ray! Now don't fucking re-cap shit in the middle of stories. We're not fucking naruto/bleach anime.

Meanwhile, Takeshi reveals himself to be the REAL Radical Alucard; taking revenge after Fred Jones stole his identity

Well, Mrs. Mendez kind of is the secondary baddie, she's just out of focus.

His eternal youth comes from draining the life-force out of his female companions. It's why he always gets a new one.

Like some sort of incubus, but without the fun parts.

>Constant presence even after his saga is finished
>Mystery behind his motivations
>Only got defeated out of sheer luck on the protagonists side
>Actually liked

Nomuracucks got nothing compared to Fred

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"Man, he really porked those poor girls didn't he?" said Giorno
But they had no time to waste, Handsome Squidward had a plan...Whatever that is

>was that a fucking JoJo reference?
Since I wasn't the one who decided to include that, I don't know, but I can see how it could be one.
But Nomura hasn't canonically sniffed pit.

But Fred is still dead, there's no one for him to take revenge on unless he's after the heroes who defeated him.

Those being Snow Flame (dead), Florida Man (dead), Scud (dead), Mr. Nobody (alive), and Handsome Squidward (alive).

Dubs check out

Fred is antagonist kino

Never doubt OP user. He may be a fag, but good Lord does he know how to make the autism I'm these threads work.

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So you're saying Fred is Dio and Nomura is like... Diavolo?

I always thought his motivation was to make fapping to traps not gay.

Nomura's motivation would've been to get Sora into Smash, which is why he coveted the power of Nintendo.

Plus he has iconic moments like
>Giving Astro Boy ligma
>Coming back from hell
>Stealing Thought Machine Abraham Lincoln's identity
>Scud shooting off his fucking hand and he walks it off

Fred is Alpha Chad.

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So then who’s Kira?

While Takeshi was distracting everyone, Radical Alucard, the real one, enacts his plan, the plan he had been working on for five years while everyone was at he circus.

Radical Alucard resurrects his father, Dr. Pig!

Nomura is a spoiled entitled brat, who just happens to have super video game powers, while Fred is constantly shit on and has to work towards his goals. Although it seems like Nomura's arc is going to be taking a different turn than Freds did.

In the spirit world, Tupac gives his reformed friend Biggie a worried look. They've never felt a power like this before, especially from all the way over here.

I don't even know if Nomura is still in this story. Should he be? Did his double survive Scud's suicide attack? This is why I wanted him to have an ideological defeat.

With Scud dead, there is no one who can hope to stop Dr. Pig this time as he summons his faithful companion, Handsome Tulio.

But something is different about him, "Did you get a new hat?"

How about
>Right before his disintegration, Nomura, scratching the fabric of dimensions, willed that Sora be in Smash bros finally.

Let's just say he's not going to be involved anymore outside of cameos that add nothing to the plot, regardless of what did or didn't happen to him.

An ideological defeat would've been him realizing that not everyone has to like the same things, but he was denied this epiphany by Scud jumping the gun.

And now DR. PIG IS IN CONTROL OF THE #1 HAT! GOOD FUCKING JOB, SCUD!

Goku still has cell reception, he can still call the police!!!

None of this would have happened if you just let me anticlimax him out, but NOOOOOOooOO, I can never have my way unless you don't know it's me.
I'm acting over the top as a joke, I'm not really that pissed about it.

Fool, Goku is locked in his fight against Woody at this point in time!

Radical Alucard laughs at how foolish that reboot was.
youtube.com/watch?v=GQ3A-W3wr5s

Fred Jones's clone watches from a distance with his pals Timon and Pumbaa.
>"Everything is going according to super keikaku..."

OH MY GOD!

If we're rebooted to the time during the first issue... then that means Re-Cap Ray is RETCON Ray again!

Retcon the reboot! You are our only hope, Retcon Ray!
You can do this! We believe in you!

Translator's note: "super keikaku" means "my vagina"

The year is 2019. Young Retcon Ray is about to make his first herioin purchase. But a mechazord from a different timeline kills his dealer before Ray can pick up the baggie.

Later, with the fucking time paradox travel apocalypse retconned out of existence, everyone is forced to sit down and listen to a lecture about not fucking with the time stream.

Because if you do THEN DR. PIG KILLS EVERYONE!

Retcon/Re-cap Ray ascends in the power tier ranking list. For the first time in his life he feels he managed to do a good job.

Wait, what if now he's Reboot Ray?

Retcon Ray channels everyone's general feelings of sick and tiredness of this storyline into his biggest retcon blast yet! Dr. Pig is sent back to the Gordonverse. Everyone cheers for Ray. He's finally done it.

Then we get sued by Marvel and DC because they have patented rebooting their universes.

Traumatized by all of this, the OP goes into therapy.

Now powered up, and OP in therapy, Reboot Ray asks if everyone wants to have a reboot of every characters individual universe. They'll never remember being a part of this shitty comic, and will have entire lives with their own storylines. AKA their real apperences in each characters respective medium

And then he is reminded that the only thing keeping us from being sued already are parody clauses in the copyright laws.

With that giga headache behind us, and back to present day, Frank Drebin takes some aspirin and gets back on the case.

Which case?

If this whole thing is even possible, or do we have the mother of all lawsuits on our hands.

We already went to court.

This time we're in Roman court

And what's that like?

The judge?
Cesar Fred Jones, who needed Reboot Ray's heroin dealer to die for the ripple effects in the timeline to lead to him being hailed supreme leader of the Roman army.

>I don't know, I'm scared.

ᴺᵒ ᵒnᵉ ʳᵉᵃˡᶦᶻᵉˢ ᴬnᵗ-ᴹᵃn ʰᵃˢ ᵇᵉᵉn ʰᵉʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʰᵒˡᵉ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ

Jesus walks in and asks if it's time for his Roman trial yet.

Jesus exit the court on his cool Spongebob skateboard

He impresses the bitches by putting a joint in the nail hole and angling a lighter with the same hand the light it.

Meanwhile, at soup...

red skull and joker are making out