War of the realms #5 Storytime

>There is no word for "grovel" in our language. But there are 23 different words for "fight". And you are about to hear them all. Welcome to Wakanda.
Wouldn't surprise me if this line is used in Black Panther 2.

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It's seriously fucking with me how much I'm enjoying this event

This event is so bad.

Honestly, even Civil War II was better than this

I wish thor and spidey would team up more often. They'd probably pair off each other really well.

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No it wasn't. Few events have been as bad that one let alone recent ones.

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It's a shame that Aaron has basically ruined Enchantress' character. I hope this gets retconned that she was possessed or something, because otherwise she's irredeemable and any dynamic she had with the Asgardians is ruined.

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SUPAIDAMAN: THE EMISSARY OF HEL

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In what way is Civil War II better?

When are we going to get the story of how spider-man seduced the spider queen of hel. we already saw an horse and an Angel.

I seriously hate jane foster and how shes involved this much in all of this shit. Shes a barely recovering cancer patient ffs.

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>The Roxxon Energy Corporation's stock begins plummeting
Wouldn't it have started plummeting the moment it became public that Roxxon was collaborating with the enemies that are trying to conquer the Earth and thus ruin the entire economy?
I hope that we're finally done with Dario Agger after this story is over, he's a Captain Planet-tier villain.

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Do Australia and America not have any superheroes of their own? It seems that they need Americans to bail them out while all of the other continents have local heroes helping out against the invaders.

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Deadpool issue is dealing with australian heroes.

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Meant to say Australia and SOUTH America.

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Can somebody please tell me the crossover ish telling the Final Battle of the Valkyrior? It's like I missed this pivotal chapter of Odin failing his deathmaidens. [But if it's only been told in pieces and flashback panels - that's some bad storytelling.]

The only thing I like about this event is that aaron is finally fucking off from thor.

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And thats a wrap folks

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This cover is a lie, where's the giant robot panther?

Please for the love of god DO NOT buy this garbage at your lcs. Fuck aaron.

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Thanks for storytime user. I like this issue. I am going to buy paperback.

Thanks user.
So I guess the only book left to storytime is Uncanny X-Men, aka Emma Frost's character assassination.

Wow Malekith, how smart of you to put Thor in the same place where his hammer is located, i'm sure this won't backfire at all.

Nice issue, btw. Thought this event was going to be a total mess, instead it is shaping up pretty well.

Hey it's that thing American Gods did

I just bought 1-5 at my LCS just to spite you.

Why does Jane have... you know, never mind, the real question is why I'm reading this.

>It's a shame that Aaron has basically ruined Enchantress' character
That would require her to have a character

More like it's that thing from established Norse mythology. This isn't even the first time that Marvel's Thor has done this.

>Kurse
>She
Did Kurse transition or something?

No, this is bad, this is REALLY bad, but it's not that bad.

It's mostly just boring and unoffensive.

Fandral (smiling eagerly): "Can we keep him, All Mother? Can we pretty please? We promise that we'll walk him, feed him, and give him baths! You won't have to do anything!"

Hogun (thoughtfully nods his head).

Wolverine (looking a Fandral): "Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you two?"

Frigga (Her eyes slowly trailing up and down Logan's body): "Well... he is cute is a hairy sort of way..."

It's a title

Deadpool was pretty fun

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Go, Volstagg! Go!

>1968
If this was written toady I can only imagine the backlash.

where is the Savage Land

>Turn anything into a nuclear bomb
That's a really dangerous power to have

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The original Kurse turned on Malekith, so he was imprisoned and his, well, curse was passed on to different dark elf.

where is that panther?

The Tasmanian is actually a pretty good hero name

Is that joke about the Looney Tunes' Tasmanian Devil, or DC Comics' Tasmanian Devil? Or both?

God, the minotaur is the worst yhing that came out of Aaron's run

Thori and Bats for membership in the Pet Avengers?

agree
yes

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Where's Eden Fesi?

He forgot he was an Aborigine and not an African, so he lives in Wakanda now.

Has Gambit met grown up notRiri yet?

Murdercarol!

Why does Aaron need to force his favs in every damn story, what was that part about Jane literally being unable to lift Mjolnir anymore holy shit aaaaaaah

>Why does Aaron need to force his favs in every damn story
Why does Hickman need to force Doom in every damn story?

Shut the fuck up Tommy

At least WoTR didn't have a Poochie

But Balder didn't know how to drive in War of the Realm: Journey into Mistery.

where can i get me some of those anti grav flip flops?

Maybe he just doesn't know how to drive a stick?

> It's a shame that Aaron has basically ruined Enchantress' character. I hope this gets retconned that she was possessed or something, because otherwise she's irredeemable
Dude did you not read what Fraction had Amora do to Donald Blake?
She is far past irredeemable at this point.

Nah. It’s bad but not Civil War 2 bad. People will forget about this event the same way people forgot about Axis or most Marvel events, cause they all suck and they have an event every fucking week.

Really wish they would bring her back especially with the mommy issues she’s got. Could make for an interesting story

But Robbie's car IS a manual.

But also magic, so possibly a loophole. Or Strange has been giving tips

I bought two of each issue

She never became unable to lift Mjoulnir, it was that she had to give up lifting it due to how it negated her chemotherapy and her cancer had reached an advanced stage because of that. Now that her cancer is gone, she’s free to again. I’m just disappointed that the Ultimate Mjoulnir is basically gonna be used as spare parts for Jane’s new weapon rather than Thor getting it

Well, I think this means Spidey and his party won't do shit against her in the League of Realms tie in.

DEFENSOR anybody?!

This delay makes me think the tale is not told in full yet. Boo!

Never saw that yet. WHAT did AG do?

They had Odin hanging from a tree for five days

He really really really wants his super dooper OC to take off and be the next big thing.

While at the same time, why not give Jane the 1610 hammer way back in 2014, or Odinson for that matter.

The fact that you're calling Thor 'Odinson' makes you part of the problem

Because it does not make any fucking sense to make a statement like
>Thor should give Thor's hammer to Thor so Thor can have Thor's real hammer while Thor gets Thor's hammer instead

Exactly. Which is why Jane should never have been called Thor in the first place

No Bill?

If the story happened in any decade before the 2010's, Jane would have just been given her own special hammer and Thor got his back by the third issue. Then we would have both with thor powers roaming around for a few years before the next writer brings things back to status quo

Which would have made for a better story than a stupid mystery that went on for too long and the complete character assassination of one of Marvel's big characters

I was reasonably sure they were just going to give Thor the 1610 hammer and try to movie synergy things some more

Broo!

Gateway is dead atm I think? Normally he just teleports whomever the fuck he wants in to solve problems I think?
South America has a bunch in addition to all the misc overpowered gods and secret jungle temples, but nobody ever remembers who they are so actually doing things properly would require research.
So Broo is more competent when it comes to internet security than Wakandans, Tony Stark,The Fantastic Four, and Celestial technology?

Nah. Captain planet villains have a charisma of a sort.
The Minotaur itself isn't bad. It's just awfully executed as a lazy excuse for why normal authorities haven't killed him for the previous shit he's pulled and below dad tier attempts at edgy humor.

>listening to Strange when it comes to driving
Oh boy

It's about time he fucking did something. He's been doing nothing this whole time.

I like Dario, but they writers never did much to make him an actual threat.

>Theres something quite funny about knife ears with guns.
eh, I've played a lot of Shadowrun
>So Broo is more competent when it comes to internet security than Wakandans, Tony Stark,The Fantastic Four, and Celestial technology?
no, but all those people are fighting in wars, Broo is not a warrior

But Hercules 'died' in No Road Home...well I guess they didn't show him and he is a space god now so I guess he could teleport

Best Asgardian still going

There have been other Thor's before called Thor. Erik was called Thor. That's the stupidest of complaints you can make about Jane. There are a lot of reasons to hate how Aaron wrote her and her arc but her being called Thor isn't one.

Erik was literally pretending to be Thor

Apalla must be so fucking pissed that everyone constantly dumps their shit on the sun.

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Where is this from? I only vaguely recall her existence

This event isn't good, but it's nowhere near as bad as civil war II.

A guy that can transform into a Minotaur after being mindraped by the original Minotaur is too much for you? Or is it the fact that Aaron claims that the Agger Minotaur class being capable of kicking both Thor and Hulk's ass?

Oh wow, they really nerfed the hell out of Uru.

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Wait a minute, is Shang training a bunch of asian heroes in northern china at this point?

He is and Sindr is also attempting to melt the polar icecaps. But what are you going to do about it when Marvel got no editors.

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A lot of south american heroes were murdered by the Zeitgeist years ago.

It's pretty damn close to being as bad.

At least Civil War II didn't offload 75% of its narrative on it's tie ins

Shouldn't the axe and his arm be melting?

This is like the second time Thor's done this within the last 15 years

This is later on in the story

Looks like a Doctor Strange comic, what with Clea and Wong being there.

Does no one else like this and what Aaron is doing here? It's just a big dumb fun old skool superhero crossover. No one is acting too out of character. It's not depressing and grimderp. None of your favorite heroes are revelaed as drug addicted pedophile murderers cloned from Hitler's personal sex midgets. It's just dumb stupid fun with punching and explosions. It's great compared to the last 15 years of Marvel and DC crossovers.

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Tons of characters are being written out of character. Arguably every Thor character in Aaron's run past his first are written totally out of character, worst of all his hatred of Odin. Aaron has systematically destroyed everything about Thor comics and I dont know how any future writer can salvage this disaster short of completely ignoring it, not that I'd have the slightest problem with this. Try reading this shit after reading several of Simonson's issues.

i like the idea behind this event but why are these 'epic' battles across the glove like 1 page long?

The body of a fat lady and the arms of a masters of the universe figurine

Modern living has turned modern men into submale eunuchs.

Goddamn Jason Aaron is just such a shit writer.

Lots of things happening doesn't actually mean a story is being told.

He's busy in space

This rules, i have no idea why people are hating. best marvel crossover in forever

Yeah it’s pretty bad-

>not even CIVIL WAR 2 was this bad
SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

This. Let’s be honest the time she was happily married to Thor in that one averted future in his original run was just as big a “character assassination” in the sense in contradicted her entire narrative role and Thor’s otherwise sound judgement up to that point, people just overlooked it because they were cute together.

My problem is that the minotaur personify Aaron greatest lacking: his villains are devoid of any personality outside their one gimmick. Having all your villains be one-dimensional mustache twirling is boring as fuck.

Cause all hopes lies in Doom?

The same Minotaur that had his ass kicked by a random ancient greek hero who wasn't remotely on the level of Thor, Hulk, and Hercules?

t.Hickman

How are you going to force Doom into your X-men comics?

You haven't read either.

So, Power of X will be set in the future, mutantkind led by Green Magneto is the last defense against a mysterious OC that enslaved earth under his power. We find out that said OC is really Doom and all his action were done to protect earth and this reality against an outside awsome threat, and Doom was right all along as it should be.
Follows spastic REEEEEs from all the hackmanfag on Yea Forums.

>It's just dumb stupid fun with punching and explosions.
I see a lot of dialogues with punching and explosions in the background.

I don't know if it's the artist or the colorist but I don't like that art. The proportions are good but the way the characters look makes me uneasy.
And all the non-rectangular panels seems pointless.

Thanks, but wathever grimdark bullshit is better than this stupid nonsense

I think the artist and colorist are the same?

I'm so confused why people like him

Same one if we are led to believe.

How bad is this new event? I read 1st issue few months ago and completely forgot about it

Mediocre

How is compared to recent marvel and dc events?

Its 616 Asgardians being portrayed as MCU Asgardian with massive jobbing from Odin, Heimdall's powers being stolen by Daredevil, and Jane Foster being made the leader of Asgard and etc. What do you think?

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>616 Asgardians being portrayed as MCU Asgardian
Really? I don't see it. MCU Asgardians never used as much magic as the 616 ones did. The only thing taken from the MCU is the design of the Dark Elf foot soldiers.

why the fuck did they give laufey north america and roxxon antarctica
what is there on fucking antarctica?

Ice and Dinosaurs.
Yeah, Roxxon really got the short end of the stick, and if Malekith had won they wouldn't even be able to sell oil to anyone, this was a terrible investment and I expect Roxxon's stock to drop next quarter, and for the shareholders to vote on a new CEO who is just as evil but not as stupid as the Minotaur.

I kinda want to see one of the super powerful mutants in Australia get rid of all the trolls in one page after deadpool spectacularly fails, Eva Bell and Manifold are both Aussies and stupidly powerful or we get a happy ending where the Trolls live alongside the Australians and get to be the only surviving invaders of the War of the Realms

Jesus, Tommy. Let it go.

He used to jerk off Thor really hard and powerqueens went crazy for it

Nothing is consequential. Nobody's wildly out of character but no one's character matters, either.
It is a dumped out toybox and not a story. I'm not rewarded in any way by seeing Logan and the warriors three or Spider-Man and some giant spiders.

Fucking AVX was better than this, and that's just an atrocious thing to say.

Volume 1 of his Thor was good. Everything afterwards went downhill because he really doesn't seem to actually understand the concept of religion. He's basically a less violent version of Gor since he thinks he should be the most important thing to the gods and ends up as an edgy atheist because they don't always drop everything to serve whatever random prayer he makes.

No it fucking wasn't.

You just liked it because Thor was really, really powerful in it.

It was just as shitty and poorly thought out as this is.

HoC was so bad

What makes this event so shit is that it's full of tell not show. Monsters invade New York and take the city that's fine, but next issue they have fully conquered their territories instead of the US military taking all it's old Hulkbuster gear out of storage and fighting the good fight while losing ground to the Frost Giant elite with a penultimate moment where Ymir takes out the Squadron Supreme.

It's average, like Infinity Wars

Yeah. Cause Thor is never really fucking powerful otherwise.

This. It's inconceivable how a writer can be writing about gods, giving no fucks about them. And it's not like his story hook about atheism is developped any further then "maybe they are better off without us".

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Hercules can teleport now?
Are they really going to change Hercules from an one dimensional brick into a flying brick like Thor?

He never stopped, only it was a different Thor.