You are the X-man new public relations advisor. What do you say to the X-man?

The general perception is that you are assholes who go around beating the shit out of each other and giant murder robots and destroying shit for giggles, which is true, so stop that.

Better ask Hank Pym, he is the scientist supreme.

Okay. Here me out. What if Psylocke got naked.

OK go ask Hank Pym.

Pym just slapped me.

Why is there a Danger Room? Why do you have a military jet on your compound? Why are you guys training and acting more like a military regiment than a school? All the money you use for this stuff should be used on peaceful applications of mutant powers, and not how to kill giant robots.

Seriously, you look like a terrorist organization and we need to complete makeover of this school to save face.

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I have an idea, why won't be better do an X-Haremtv series? Look at how popular those Avengers movies are.

You should stop enlisting mega-terrorists.

Sir, I just got off of the with Mr. Richards. He said to lose his number and that when his son recreates the universe again he'll make a note not to include you or your monster fuck zoo.

We objectively are superior to homo inferior flatscans, though. Sorry if that triggers you. Facts don't care about your feelings.

Then ask Reed Ric-

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You're not helping, Erik.

The giant murder robots need to be destroyed. They are genocide machines. We are trying not to fight each other but all the superhero do it . No one can explain it.

is surfer punching her too, lol? based.

Fuck off, Jamie.

The X-man are not going to stop destroyed genocide giant murder robots as long as the giant murder robots are made.

"You all need to fuck off to another universe. Humanity will ever accept mutantkind, and you shits never fit in woth this universe anyway."

Well we're not gonna stop making giant murder bots when you can level a skyscraper by farting.

Something something about a bacteria.

Brilliant. We can film the X-men's sexual exploits 24/7. The ratings will be through the roof! Spiral get this set up!

look guys, you cant keep letting villains join your team, it looks really bad when magneto can just join up whenever he wants.
he led a groups named "the brotherhood of evil mutants" for gods sake, its public relations nightmare.
i want to call the avengers and work on some cross over promotion, show the world that your good guys, do some work for UN, etc.

Ask Spider-Man, he's cool.

What about Hawkeye?

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Xavier should just use his powers to become president.

He did that in Ruins.

What ABOUT Hawkeye

Why did you even hire me? Why don't you just mind control the populace into accepting you the same way you turn fellow students gay?

How about a new name.

How do you guys feel about Doom Patrol?

Naked.

Psylocke.

Stop just getting in fights with other mutants by yourselves.

Call the avengers. Be seen working with super heroes that don't scare people because right now all you guys do regularly is blow shit up with other mutants.

Also, blow less shit up.

If like, 3 of you acted more like spiderman and just helped regular people out you guys would be way way way better off.

Hey Pete-

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>wop
That's fucking racist.

You stupid cunts need to stop allowing mass murders and terrorists on the X-men. Its literally one of the reason why the public is scared of you guys.

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>Kitty used to be a massive fucking nerd.
>Literally every writer has forgotten this fact.
I hate modern comics.

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I'm with The Brotherhood's PR department. That's right, The Brotherhood. We had them drop the "of Evil Mutants" part. We felt it sent the wrong message. Please refrain from using the outdated name.

>The Avengers have like 5 guys who have done war crimes and have probably shat on the concept of Geneva Conventions.

The avengers answer to the government and exist as public figures.

Those people were successfully rehabilitated. Unlike Mystique, Magneto, Sabretooth and etc, they return to being mass murdering terrorists the moment they leave the X-men.

To be fair, Sabertooth was taken in by the X-men after one of their own team members gave him brain damage. That's pretty effed up.

Look guys I kinda get why you don't just use all or some of your telepaths to change everyone's minds to be ok with mutants but to not use your powers as an absolute good to show at least some of you all are good at heart is a bit lazy and disingenuous.

Bobby you could refreeze the ice caps, Oro you could end all droughts, Eric; you daughter with the same powers as you or even your son could each generate power to power the world with little to no effort.

Fact is you all aren't thinking in the proper context of the utility of your powers. If humanity saw what true benefits these abilities had to offer. Then most if not all would be begging to at least be the parent of a child with a X gene so the Earth as a while could be a better place.

This isn't about slavery this is about building a better world with less effort than the people before is.

You know it always bugged me to no end when the X-men all seemed pretty content to lay about in their orgy message and not use their powers for any greater good. Especially when a few blocks over you had Spider-man who can't go a day without the daily affirmation of "With great power must come great responsibility."

No to some end I can understand that you can't and shouldn't force people to do things they don't want to, but on the other hand FUCK YOU! WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO END DISEASE?!

Please keep Jubilee available for daily blowjobs, and I'll work for free.