Post your favorite American Dad jokes.
>I'm so proud of my son. In fact, this is the wall where I keep all his awards.
>What? There's nothing there! Oh my God! They've been stolen! I better call the sheriff!
>We're gonna get to the bottom of this! It's ringing... Hello, Sheriff Perkins? Henry Fischer. Yes, yes, father of the illustrious Jeff Fischer. >Someone has stolen all his awards. All of them! Must have been several strong men with a huge truck.
>What? What do you mean, Jeff's never won an award in his entire life? But if that were true, that would mean my son is a worthless piece of crap who never accomplished anything!
>Well, sir, I'm not gonna sit here while you say those awful things about my pride and joy!
>I promise you, son: I will not rest until I get every single ribbon, trophy and letter of commendation back on that wall!
>I'm gonna go down to the bar, round up a posse. We'll get Charlie's dogs, close off the perimeter! You just sit there and keep on making me proud.
>I need something for Charlie's dogs so they can pick up the scent. Do you have your high school diploma? No? They got that too?
Post your favorite American Dad jokes
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
m.youtube.com
youtube.com
youtu.be
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
>Stan, are you on crack?
>What? No!
>I will be as soon as this pervert pays me!
>General Hector Aldozar became the most brutal dictator in the history of Isla Island. The world will forever remember him as El Bailarín de la Muerta... The Dancer of Death.
>My eyes! My mouth! My back! My begonia! My Sharona! My Best Friend's Wedding AAH my eyes again!
I'll always remember the user who said this episode made his grandma sad because it hit too close to home.
>Check out Klaus I'm the vice president of the Engineering club
>Are you allergic to pussy Steve?
>Why is there a leopard on the Cheeto's bag?
>Wait...it's a cheetah!
>Cheetah...Cheeto...there's so much beauty in the world.
>WHY DO MY WRISTS HURT
>because you're lying on them
>...how can you hear what I'm thinking?
>Do you live here? Because I could live here this place is great!
>Oh look someone picked out all my favourite stuff!
You ever think the ending of that episode was the reason for Steve’s Oedipus thing?
RAIDER DAVE!
Stan finnaly getting Francine to climax and getting more additions to the house was pretty good
BUT AS FOR THOSE SHEETS
>Thank you, Omar. Thank you for showing me I can go on without you... I know what you did to our kids, you monster! (laughs) Why can't I leave things nice?
MISTERANDLADY!
>I'll be Coulton Lancington, renegade space cop who struggles to keep his bipolar disorder in check
>Okay, Coulton. You just got off work and want to relax with intergalactic iced tea-
>No one tells Coulton what to do! I'm off my meds!!
>why is there a cheetah on the cheetos bag?
>wait....cheetos.....cheetah
>there is so much beauty in the world!!
>You know I remember a time when this was a safe hallway. I left my door unlocked. Kids played after dark. I could walk home without being scared. And I don't want to be scared anymore!
>”I’ve painted my children for the last time!”
The fact that the hallway somehow became a dangerous neighborhood and as amazing. Also
>Is that the “Come Back and Kick Me” Whistle?
>Biscuit coming in hot!
Stan's night out will always be my favourite
polar bears...shouldn't give this...to their babies!
Hello? Line one, you're on with Bernie.
You son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna finish this meatloaf, get on a plane to Toronto, and shoot you in your lying face!
In Hurricane where Stan kept talking about his old college javelin, and then later on when Roger gets electrocuted and floats away giving him this cold stare
Supposed to be crossover episode between Family Guy, American Dad, and Cleveland show. American Dad was the only show that committed. I also hated Peter line when he pulled out his gun
>"A white guy and a black guy talking like it's normal!"
>the krampus ep
>"Wow, full moon tonight"
>"Actually, once you get above the clouds, it's always a full moon"
>"Is that true"
>"Is any of this?"
holy shit that bit killed me when I first saw it, especially "mister and lady in robot voice"
Just a perfect epiosde between Tunji and Ricky Spanish
>it's a roger vs. stan episode
also,
>"There is so much crime in the desert!"
Favorite “Roger vs Stan” episode would be Roy Rogers McFreely solely because of Cilantro. Not the herb, the Mexican singer. Still not sure why Stan wanted nothing to do with him
>Roger stealing the scooter and doing a flip over Jeff's broken body
>You sound smart like Hugh Grant the movie star, but you're stupid like Hugh Grant the person!
This one always gets me
I lost it when the bees were stinging Steve from the inside
>GODDESS ON A MOUNTAINTOP
>There's a special place in hell for people who do things like this, right next to the child molesters and the sexy children who seduced them!
>He killed it.
>He... KILLED his own name.
God, this show has such great lines.
>cheesers came back
>Do you know the difference between a government bond and a man? The man matures. Absolutely hilarious!
>[Clause’s scream of madness]
>I fucked up the joke
Well that’s it, I fucked it. I give up
How does he do that?
>
>
>
>Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda.
>IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS A PILLOW IN THIS PILLOWCASE BUT THERE IS NOT!
>It’s in my DVD player!
>It’s trying to play it!
>No son of mine is dating a robot. Look at that cheap weave. Bitch got no class.
>he's just holding a tie like a scared child
That shit was hilarious
That bit where Roger rides a bike to a store, kinda floats off of it while it still keeps going, then jumps back on when the scene is over.
You’ve weakened your family as a unit
the "Good, great no a good job"/"I killed three teenagers" musical number is gold, largely because Haley can be funny with comic timing when the writers want her to be
>Are you crying?
STELIO... STELIO KONTOS!
>oh good, he's running away... Oh god, he's coming from so far away!
>Francine, I haven’t been entirely truthful with you
>It has been proven that men with moustaches are more persuasive
>I didn't want you to find out this way Hayley, but your father is a brilliant painter
Name a better episode than "In the Country... Club" you can't
This scene was amazing
m.youtube.com
youtube.com
The climax.
hitler melons
WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER
>THERE'S SO MUCH CRIME IN THE DESERT
>Yeah, you may be beautiful on the outside like Kevin Bacon, but you're ugly on the inside like Tommy Lee Jones... on the outside... and the inside.
I don't think there's a single Kevin Michael Richardson character I like more than Lewis.
>I bought this chair for my eclipse party.
>The only one who showed up was Tuttle.
>I thought it was an eclair party.
>You don't listen!
This entire fucking subplot.
Damn did Roger get his revenge in that ep
Wheels. Wheels and The Legman.
>Haley to Stan on Jeff's mom: And his mom ran away before he was born.
>Don't shoot! I didn't see anything! I'm blind!
Roger: My name is Braff Zacklin. I was an international race car driver. One day, a baby carriage rolled out onto the track so I swerved into the retaining wall to avoid it. The car burst into flames, but the baby miraculously survived ... I was that baby.
Steve: That doesn't make any sense.
Roger: I'M BRAFF ZACKLIN!!!
The visual of Stan's gun sitting in a car seat next to him, buckled in.
>Hey, come on! Dick! Don't! Dick. Come on Dick. Why are you doing this Dick? This isn't you. I want the old Dick back. I don't want bad new Dick. I want good old Dick. Give me the Dick I'm used to. Give me the Dick I love!
>Nathan! Stop it! This is why you keep getting molested!
>We need indoors sports! For when it rains!
I really liked the Top of Steve episode.
>Gun, call for help!
Goes something like this
Stan: What do you kids give back? Your mother at least has sex with me!
Steve: You.... want us to have sex with you?
Stan: Of course not, but it wouldnt hurt to offer it from time to time.
That Headmistress was gold
>Are you the smart kind of nerds?
>Eh, fifty-fifty
>Fifty plus fifty equals a hundred. And that's what we're gonna do. A hundred shots of beer! I've only got ten to go. [vomits and passes out]
>Don't want to pile on, but you probably could have done a little better job with this whole suicide thing. I mean, you own guns.
>Hamburger.....hinderer.
what's the context here?
Roger’s persona is a wannabe cop who’s abusive to his girlfriend and her kids and has spent the day chasing Steve and his friends around for egging their car. She had just calmed him down when he got the white sauce
good one
>Wonder whose car that was
>You and your tiny penis
>the fucking mustache appearing out of nowhere when terry snatches roger's wig
genius. man, i miss mike barker. not enough to get him back but still.
Iirc a recurring gag where Roger's persona was a high strung abusive single mother's boyfriend
I have a soft spot for the incest jokes
You now remember this show predicted Maduro.
>pinecone lands
>looks of confusion
>"PINECONES ARE GRENADES!"
>everyone panics
I loved all of the stupid little shit in that episode
Loved that they used an huge spray paint gun as a flamethrower
I like Steve's "equally important friends" just to fill out the roster.
Oh yeah back when Tuttle was pretty much immobile
What is up with Tuttle being in so many episodes this season anyways?
Guess they like having Richard Kind around, I liked the TZ episode and lake episode with him.
Why is this so good when Family Guy is so bad?
There is some actual effort put into the jokes.
Don’t they have the same writers though? Why do they put more effort in here?
Next time they do some kind of gay episode I hope Spitz and The Babe are in the background.
It's probably some kinda meta-gag about this random fucking character being a mainstay now.
no, it's a different writing team
>DUPDUPDUPDUPDUPDUPDUPDUPDUPDUPDUP
Seth hasn't been really involved since past decade
>YOU IN VIET NAM, BITCHES!
youtube.com
>Doing what you're told? You're no lone wolf. Lone wolves are rebels playing by their own rules!
>Look at the name I signed...
>...Butts McButts.
>Stan has taken his shirt off in the time she is reading it and does a dance
Mind Quad