Anyone else starting to think Matches Malone might be the bat...

Anyone else starting to think Matches Malone might be the bat? He's never around when Batman is and flakes a ton of jobs in general. I'm not trying to say he's bad at his job, but he doesn't seem to have the same spirit as the other boys.

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Just because two people are not in the same room together doesn't mean they are the same person.
We've never seen Clark Kent with Superman either but imagine someone telling you that Clark Kent is Superman

Who the fuck is Clark Kent.

That's ridiculous, Batman doesn't have a mustache.

I think Matches is ok. I heard hes little guidos sons best freinds cousin.

You ever seen batman? He broke three of my ribs and fractured my tail bone, I didn't see his face.

But I saw Batman hassling Matches one night at the bar. Looked like he was about to shit himself.

You know who else is never around when the bat shows up? The Queen of fucking England! Starting to think you been hit in the head one to many times OP.

Cobblepot's been around Batman plenty of times you dunce

Show me where the Mustache is, user. SHOW ME!

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Explain this then

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That’s bullshit. I saw Batman punch Matches in the nose two years ago in person.

Say that to his face, though guy.

Matches just knows to skedaddle when someone spots the Bat at this point. How do you figure he's been so long in the business?

Hey dumbass Matches is great. He helped teach my kid how to drive stick.

Batman can drive stick

How do you even KNOW that?

Shut up

You're nuts. I'll admit the guy's overly cautious, but that's how he's stayed in the business for so long without getting hammered.

Why is his name Matches Malone?
Hmm... MM... that's the same andergram as da Martian Manhunter! What if our boz is an alien?! He could be reading us goons's minds!

This is even dumber then "Batman is Bruce Wayne" theory. You wanna know who batman is? I tell you. He is fucking vampire. He shows up only at night, knives and bullets can't kill him, and he have tons of money. He is fucking Dracula. And while we are unconscious, he drinks uor blood, i am telling you!

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Dont insult my boy matches like that

Where is Malone going to get the money for all those toys? I've got a better theory: Matches Malone is Deadman.
Hear me out here.
Deadman needs a body to posses.
Matches Malone's been acting awfully funny lately.
What if Matches done got himself whacked and Deadman took him over?
Eh? EH?

How would he find the time to build his underground reputation AND be Batman?

>Batman is a vampire
I know a guy.

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that newspaper guy, he was also a TV reporter for a whileand was Ex President's Ross' best friend

>Matches got whacked
retard.

Heard about that guy. Supposedly he's from a different reality. Not an alternate one where they still got a Batman, but one where they got heroes you ain't even heard of.

That the proof. Where this guy, there no Batman. Batman is a vampire, case closed.

No, but he looks very similar to Bruce Wayne, they could be twins

No you idiot! MM clearly stands for Mister Miracle, that escape artist.
How do ya think he could’ve sneaked past the bat?

Who the fuck is Bruce Wayne?

You think Waynes adopted one twin, and left another? Shit! Thomas Wayne was a doctor, right? He totally could do something like that.

Even if Batman was a vampire, how would one normal dude beat him? This vampire hunter guy ain't no beast. I think I saw him in the street the other day (silent motherfucker). Looks fit, but nothing else. If we can't beat the bat, why would he?

Larping threads are pure cringe.
Fuck off back to facebook.

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>hey guys, i think Bruce Wayne might be Batman :D
>Noooo way, dude xD
If this is fun to you, especially after 1000 threads with the exact same "jokes", you are literally underage and should definitely fuck off

Fighting a man and fighting a vampire are a two different things. Vampires have weaknesses, like they burn on the sun and shit. All we need to do is to find Batman's coffin and open it on a high noon.

Ain't you ever read Dracula, dumbass? Vamps are weak in the sun, but it doesn't kill 'em.
And if Batman is a vampire he has to be someone who has permission to get into all the buildings in Gotham.

If Batman has survived all the crazy people Gotham has to throw at him, I guarantee you his coffin has some high-tech super science lock that not even Superman could break, all hidden in like the 5th dimension where sunlight is dark or something.

Kek, he's also best pals with Superman's best pal Jimmy Olsen. And is pretty close with Superman's girlfriend, Lois Lane. And wow, his nephew looks alot like Superman's son, you'd never believe it. Weird.

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He close with Lois Lane exactly because he looks like Superman. The real Superman is gay (look at his costume), so Clark is a substitute.

Christ you sound like /pol/
>And Lex Luthor is super duper evil guuuys

He knows that because he IS Batman. Get him boys.

I waiter some of those hoighty toighty type dinners sometimes, ykno? Wayne, eh he's some fucking rich douche. One ada those 'I have enough money to do whatever I want' types, yknow? Real cushy gig, you ask me.

Found him in the elevator banging some super model at a charity dinner once. Wasn't gonna do anying cause, ehh, I ain't paid enough, but Wayne gives me this fucking shit eating grin, and slips me a hundred bucks. Says I ain't see nottin', mebbe give him and his broad some privacy ya? Easiest money I made that night

Superman is an Alien from Krypton.
Clark Kent grew up in Bumfuck nowhere in kansas.
>pic related

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