Hench Thread

i fucking love this please tell me what its from

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Batman Eternal #10 I think.

Are you friggin kiddin me? That guys worse than the Joker!

Thinking Freeze but most guys i hear that work for him end up a Popsicle or sick.

What happened with the freak...?

thanks mate x

>"Work for me and I'll give you anything you desire".

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Was once a Mook for Mista Luthor, but due to the cosmic uncertainty of this big ol universe, I'm now stuck in this parallel reality. Trying to get into the game, but I's not so goods with this future tech and Luthor don't use guys with Tommy guns. Thinking about joining black masks crew. Any better recommendations

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Most of the "scientist" types aren't bad except for Scarecrow who likes to use his hench's as guinea pigs every once and while, and Ivy.
>Working for the Joker
What daft fuck would do something dumb like that?

If you're suisidal with a wicked sense of humor, it's pretty fun working for him. Only problem he was aware if that and decided not to kill cuz it was funnier

Fuck off Harley.

Okay, here's the thing: you ARE going to get caught sooner or later, no matter who you hench for. Penguin has lawyers that can get you out, but if he decides it'll be easier or safer just to have you killed, he'll do it. Freeze won't do that, but he'll let you swing in the breeze because you're probably not going to bring his wife back. Joker, on the other hand, doesn't give a shit if you roll over on him - and the GCPD looooves to give bennies to henchmen who roll over on Joker. They will do ANYTHING to know what he's planning.

The secret to henching for Joker is to be too unfunny to kill. I don't mean be a straight man, because comedians love a good straight man - I mean you have to be so uninteresting that there's nothing can Joker do to you that'll make a punchline land. DON'T let on that you're deliberately sabotaging his jokes, but play dumb. Again, not cartoonishly dumb, but so boring-ly dumb that it'll never be funny to watch you die. If you can pull this off long enough to perform a heist successfully, he won't even pay attention when handing out the money or stealing the goods, so you can line your pockets as much as you want. It's dangerous work, definitely, but you can get a HUGE payout, and all you need are the skills to recognize a good joke when you see it and sabotage it without making it obvious.

So stupid question, but how the hell do I hench in a city with superman

you dont

Bane always inspires a lot of loyalty in his hired guns.

Cobblepot pays good & tips even better, you just GOT to treat him like he absolutely looks 'normal' and be completely committed to it. DON'T try to suck up to him and call him handsome cuz he'll slit your throat with his umbrella thinking your fucking with him or being an ass-kisser.

Maxie Zeus was the best though, you just go along with his roman shit and no matter what the heist or job? He pays you in actual fucking gold!

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Because they're hopped up on Venom and he'll literally rip them in half if they turn on him.

You luck out and he's off somewhere doing something else. Don't say shit or he'll probably hear you.

If he finds you, he won't beat you up like the Bat does, though. Nice guy. Sometimes he's genuinely sad he found you twice, says something like "You really don't have to keep doing this" or whatever. Guy's gotta eat, though.

Fucker broke my leg, can't wait to get super powers and blow up that assholes spic head

It ain't about who you hench for. It's about how you hench for them.

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It's why I don't work in Metropolis anymore. I got caught, he looked at me with sadness and shit man, I felt like I let my dad down. Fuck man, getting beat on by the Bat and his sidekicks is far easier then Superman's disappointed look.

but what if he chooses you to be the one in the wreckage?

It would extremely painful.

Don’t align yourself with a big bad. I’ve got a mole and whenever Batman deals with Joker or Two Face or whatever costumed freak I commit some lesser crime across the city and I live the easy life

So I'd the specter real? this old man once warned me about henching and that he'll turn my organs to glass and get eaten by a giant version of my daughter if I kept killing for villians. Thought the Fucker was drunk, but after all the insane shit I've seen over the years, really makes you wonder.

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Is he really a villain, dude has club membership in central city

You guys ever notice that Black Manta's crew is all black guys?

I was sitting in the mess hall today and could not see one white dude.

Are you the bully of your school or even the victim of bullying?
Do you watch movies about costumed heroes and think "That guy's a pussy. I sure hope a much cooler bad guy kicks his ass."

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Wow, it's like you are reading my mind

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Somalia is a easy place to recruit

As a henchman of color, it is my dream to work with him

It’s like 95% of the bad dudes are whites.

The plain ignorance you see in these white spaces let’s you traumatized for life. Don’t get me started when black mask couldn’t get why his costume is so problematic

Kid needs to go to college
Somehow, despite being raised in the shit hole of a town called Gotham, he got accepted to go to Metropolis University.
Ask shady friends where I can get a get quick cash fast. They tell me about a shady job, tell me all I have to do is look out in the back door. Things going good, until Batman shows up. Breaks my ankle, bruised ribs, dislocated collar bone, broken arm. I didn't even fight back! I got fired from my job once they found out what I did. My son lost his scholarship, now has to work two jobs while I look for a replacement job. My wife's been drinking every night since.

T-thanks Batman, keep our city safe

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There was that time two-face wanted half his henches to be white and half to be black. tensions got pretty high because the black guys kept getting their white suits dirty, while we got to wear black suits. wouldn't do that again.

pal, if your son's the guy i saw around the back of gotham museum with a crowbar last tuesday, you have bigger problems

So who here been to space for a heist? Henching for The brain and were about to rob the watchtower for some science shit. Will I 100% die on this or do I have a chance?

I was up there when Cadmus took it over for a while, don't touch shit unless your techhead says so. Know where their escape pods are and don't panic and break something that is going to get you sucked into space.

I heard his daughter is a total hottie. Takes after her mother, but her boyfriend... She has some cajones I tell you what

I'm actually friends with ol spider head, truth be told nice guy, really love star craft2

So... How did he get the head? Birth defect, lab accident, aliens?
>Give it to me straight Doc.
>Your head is going to turn into a full body spider

Not that user but I heard Killer Moth and him yelling at each other during a gig and apparently he wanted to be like some comic book guy so he chugged some of Killer Moth's chemicals. He's lucky that's the only weird thing he's got going on.

I think he said it was magic, and that a wizard did it. Then told me to shut the fuck up and before he shot venom in my eyes

i heard he was actually a spider who got bitten by radioactive man. don't know how true that is, though.

You okay?
Maybe it was both? I heard he can command spiders

There IS no specter, it's a bullshit boogyman ID created & shared by the supers when they get frustrated about being 'the good guys' and need to blow off steam. When they get the itch they find some complete random fucker who iced his wife for insurance money and completely fuck him up for laughs. THATS why the deaths are so fucking bizarre cuz they use all that alien tech shit they have hoarded up there.

At least thats what a guy I shared a cell with in Blackgate told me...

Most of the time, Freeze doesn't do henchmen. He's always been a lone-wolf. That said, he may occasionally spring for grunts, but you'll be working for no pay and no benefits. In his mind, you're just a tool he uses when needed and throws away once you're no longer useful. Hell, even the fucking Joker gives more of a damn about his employees than Freeze, if only as a punchline for one of his "jokes".

Really, don't work for Freeze.

Is Star City a good place for a henchman?

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...what's going on in here, gentlemen?

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DIMENSIONAL BREACH!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE CALL ACCESS!!!!!!!

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>working for no pay
How does he manage that? Does he ice his henchmen once the job is done?

Henching ain't charity. Do people work for him out of pity?

You'd be surprised how many Henches fall for a sob story, not as many as you'd think but a fair number.

Yes. Freeze feels no pity, no sense of loyalty or command, nothing but bleak contempt for the world and everything in it.

You work for him, simply do what he tells you and then leave when the job's done ASAP. He won't notice or care so long as he gets what he needs from you, but trying to flee early will reduce you to ice cubes for sure.

I neee all of you here to work from me. I need a team to lure out the Joker to sn abandoned warehouse. Batman will be there waiting. Trust me, it'll be the greatest "fight" between them.

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>is it me or does he have a boner?

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Sounds less like he has henchmen and more like he just shows up places and threatens whoever is there into doing shit or him.

Then who was the green gloak guy on the original Justice society of america? My granpas always said he could wipe the floor of everyone on that team.

He was the night shift janitor, My granda was the afternoon shift and passed on the keys to him every day