Why are both epilogues so fucked up?

good bye thread

I enjoyed them. It had some genuinely cool twists that caught me off-guard, and some of the convos were well-written.

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>or is he bi and he just built up some weird complex about it and was just more attracted to Karkat than Jade for reasons beyond sexual alignment but was too much of a chickenshit to do anything about it?
this

John got the best girls in each path and the better one (Terezi) was more canon from the grander / more canon scheme so that was good

I should note that the disappointment of Act 7 completely annihilated my love of Homestuck, so the epilogues recapturing even a small part of what I used to love about the series is a massive improvement.

If I understand the situation correctly,
Meat!Dirk, Meat!Rose, and Terezi (with John's corpse) are off to space to do... something for nebulous reasons. Meat!Kanaya, Meat!Jade(possessed by Alt!Calliope), Meat!Roxy, Meat!Dave, and Meat!Karkat are chasing after Dirk to stop him. Meanwhile Alt!Calliope (possessing the corpse of a doomed Jade, and having just eaten Lord English), Davebot, and Aradia are leaving the Candy world also to stop Dirk (Aradia is just there to watch). Also (Vriska) has Candy!John's stolen phone which he was using to talk to Terezi, and she was just about to do so as well.

and the postscript in meat ended with

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

meaning nothing else that matters will ever exist

>john "i am not a homosexual" egbert fucks the trans out of roxy
Holy shit, tumblr's gonna lose it after this one
I know that it's technically still kinda there but do you really think tumblr's not going to throw a shitfit over this

Same mood. It feels deliberately designed to retroactively taint the best moments in the series.

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>all this gamzee shit in candy
holy shit im dying

also it seems being depressed like john or karkat innoculates you a little against the candy timeline, kinda like how dirk couldnt go trickster all the way

There's a lot of shit in epilogues that are going to set / is already setting Tumblr off its gonna be amusing

Yes, so that's where the story ends. Nothing to say we can't continue in-between those points by mixing meat and candy together, I suppose.

dirk just didnt stand a chance. if ultimate selves are every version of yousefl then well dirk has some pretty bad versions and im not even talking about bro

So wait, who was the narrator for Candy, and the prologue for that matter? I think the biggest "tell" is that Dirk doesn't understand how Roxy thinks, while Alt!Calliope does, but until John decides to reconcile with Roxy a big point is made about he doesn't understand her and that's long after Dirk killed himself.

hussie is the nararator of candy being it doesnt matter anymore

>who was the narrator for Candy,
Dirk for some of it up until his suicide, then Calliope
>and the prologue for that matter?
Dirk

Man

I miss kids and fun

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the part where adult john sees his dad through the window made me tear up

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here's my hot take: ultimate selves are a contrivance necessary to give the narrative a villain.

Fuck Karkat.

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I've read through both Meat and Candy now, and I have a lot of strong emotions, which I guess is good.

OOOHHH.
Jane/Gamzee.
Harlequins.
I get it.

>the gay singularity won

anyone got a link to the threads? I want to see the reactions
also is this the absolute true final end?

Everything after is up for you to decide. Because we didn't get it after act 7. Or after the credits

But didn't it lose though?

Weren't a lot of gay ships shattered during this?

...

Meat
>roxy/Callie is now straight
>rosemary broken up
Candy
>jane/Jake a thing
>jade/Dave a thing
>john/Roxy a thing

>all those kids on Tumblr that ""kin"" Jane and Dirk now on suicide watch

top fucking lel

At least John got best girl

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He's gonna hate fuck the shit out of her once he comes back and he finds out what she did to revive him

>roxy/Callie is now straight
Don't fucking kid yourself
>rosemary broken up
Only in the sense that Rose was mindbroken by Dirk
>Candy
Lol

I can't blame them Jane got off easy by just being nazi drumpf compared to dirk

I'm seeing so much backlash from people going
>Wow, fuck me for liking Dirk, huh?!
It's like, bitch, what? I'm a huge Dirk fan and this has been an amazing experience for me. Seeing a favorite character of mine in such an unexpected situation, doing all these crazy things. He has the god damn spotlight on him, for crying out loud. And what, just because he isn't a perfect little cinnamon roll that you've projected onto him, you're going to have an uwu panic attack? People are way too invested in these characters as people and not as characters. They don't want to read interesting stories, they want to be validated in their experiences and identities. It's annoying.

Fuck me, I sent the post too soon. At least it wasn't in the middle of a sentence or something. Anyways:

I thought some of the conversations were nice and there were some jokes that did get some good laughs at of me. I related with John a lot, maybe because I'm also sort of in the doldrums of my life right now. I'm curious to see where all of this is going and hopeful for something that's satisfying. Also, Gamzee dies in it, which is a plus.

But on the negative side, both parallel narratives felt really fucking weird to me. Maybe that's the point, but that also bothers me. It all felt very pretentious after a while and I just kind of got tired of the whole meta-narrative schtick, even when it was doing some admittedly fun things, and I hated that both stories ended up so fucking depressing. I guess I just want to see these characters be happy, goddammit. It'd be fine if it were just about how time has led them to not be as great of friends, and the epilogue is about them dealing with that. Or if they're bored with the perfect world they've created then have the epilogue be about them leaving it to start new adventures. But everything in both epilogues was melodramatic relationship problems, war, death, and depression.

Also why is Dirk the fucking villain now? Is he the villain? Why is Jane a fucking troll-hating racist cryptofascist? I'll grant that it's been a while since I've read Homestuck, but I feel like this was never set up. It makes sense, it's explained in the narrative of the epilogue, but for such vital parts of the narrative, they're both unsatisfying and forced. Also Gamzee is in it, and fuck him.

I still firmly believe it's hussie intentionally burning bridges and distancing himself from homestuck at large. Which, I mean fair enough, but did he have to make it shit in order to do so?

DOG DICK

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Meat’s misery porn was ehhhh but the narrative shit was pretty good and reminded me of what i loved about homestuck. at least john finally scored before he super died. candy did feel way too happy ending-y at the start though. comically so.

what does that mean?
I'm asking if hussie has stated whether this is actually the actual end, and he will never produce more HS content

The joke of this whole fucking thing is that it's fan fiction I can't believe you people don't see that

>candy did feel way too happy ending-y at the start though.
yes. that's the point. that's literally the point. the point that is bashed into your head repeatedly throughout the story.

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What the fuck is Dirk's endgame?

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Crashing this fanfic.
With no survivors.
But really it seems like he wants everyone to become their "Ultimate Selves" and ascend past the physical realm and all unify in one big Godhead or some gnostic bullshit like that.

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*wwalks into thread*

>andrew pussie

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This isn't homestuck.

we're getting another epilogue right guys
haha...

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Dirk started merging with every alternate self of him at once, it's just that more versions of him are some variant of evil and insane than not.

Jane... I think they really should have done a more thorough job checking to make sure the Condesce didn't leave behind any long term brainwashing.

Did the ghost writers forget that in addition to Alternia having a really high infant mortality rate, they also had a policy of "fuck or die bro. You fuck or you die." and that without that even though trolls CAN have a lot more babies than humans they're less likely to want to? Especially since they don't really have any actual economic or religious concerns until Jane started meddling.

so we're just not going to talk about how the epilogues are prime early hussie humor? John asking Jane and Jake's abused son if he's getting molested by Gamzee because the floor is sticky with Faygo? This is fucking gold

You all wanted this for so long and now you're bitching yet again

Yes, Vrispilogue confuckingfirmed!

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yes it is! it’s the epic conclusion to the hit hypercomic homestuck!

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>It feels deliberately designed to retroactively taint the best moments in the series.
That's Hussie for you

based!

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did hussie confirm that this is the actual finality of the comic?

>Dirk started merging with every alternate self of him at once

Okay, but what motivated him to do that?

hussie is too epic to ever be direct about anything

From a forum
>I realize it explores earnestly a genuine number of ways a person can change over 10 years, especially coming from teenhood. I'm sure many people will find a character they relate to in this, as they've all matured in mostly divergent, but realistic sorts of ways
I only care about the original kids. How did they change and mature?

epilogue? more like epiclogue

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I'm amazed at how sexual this was

Which favorite ship of yours got ruined user.

None, he's probably trying to get this thread closed/pruned.

i actually got some of favorite ships confirmed, john/roxy and karkat/meenah. no kanaya/dave but i never expected that anyway

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fuck off 8ch*n loser

He's going to get his posts deleted and banned. It takes a lot for one poster to get an entire thread pruned.

i just want to be awful about homestuck on cuckchan one last time, dude. let me have this

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who was your favorite troll user?

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there's gonna be more, the endings are blatant sequelbait

It's apparently something that just happens with God Tiers in a universe totally devoid of any kind of challenge or relevance.
Happened to Dirk first because his powers are most directly related to this sort of bullshit, then Rose. The others stopped using their powers/weren't inclined to it in the first place.

The real reason is of course because Hussie wanted to write a pretentious meta-narrative.

probably, yeah. but not for another year at least, and that’s being very generous.

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which smexy troll girl do you want to vore you?

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damn, and I thought Yea Forums was the most autistic board

>everyone

I doubt he's interested in everyone, seeing how his main focus is Rose and he lets Terezi tag along because he knows she would be up for it.

In Candy route? Jade is a monster of a person who sexually assaults and manipulates her friends.

Dave becomes a shell of himself because of trauma, repressed bisexuality, and Jane's assult on his and Karkat's budding relationship that she inserts herself into.

Rose and Kanaya literally become bland housewives

John cheats on his wife and resents his family

Yeah, I guess that's just it. Both the Ultimate Self thing and Jane's cryptofascist tendencies (the latter at least to me) are explained, but they're unsatisfying to me because they're just there to drive the story, and aren't built on anything that was part of Homestuck proper.

>Why is Jane a fucking troll-hating racist cryptofascist?

because fuck drumpf amirite

seriously the way identitiy politics are so hamfistedly handled i rolled my eyes like a dysfunctioinal washing mashine

>smexy
Sponge, this is Vic, stop spamming and let them have their fun. If we're not gonna actually discuss the epilogue, we can at least let them.