Who would be worse possible choice as NEIGHBOR

Not necessarily who you want as a best friend but who would be the better candidate as a neighbor?

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Uh, Bill is probably a worse neighbor.

At best, bill is a minor nuisance who ruins the reputation of our town. If I don't immediately turn the guy away in disgust, he might prod around my property and attempt to form a wholehearted but ultimately okay companionship.
Dale definitely would've already ruined my life before we even interacted, and would cower behind blinds to observe my life falling apart. If we interact in any manner, he will likely take offense to it and make it priority to ruin my life more under suspicion that I'm part of the FBI.

Yeah, I think the choice is obvious. For me, it has to be Boomhauer. If I can't pick him, Bill.

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Dale is a worse neighbor. He has only done one good thing for Hank and even that was preceeded by a mountain of bullshit.
Bill is at least easily manipulated and can actually be a force for good depending on the circumstances.

Dale should probably be killed, honestly.

Bill is an awful person but Dale is literally insane and potentially dangerous.

Bill is more consistently awful in that he'll just kind of force you into uncomfortable conversations with his neediness, occasionally loudly crying, and maybe you'll see him in the middle of one his embarrassing breakdowns.
Dale meanwhile will probably irrelevant most of the time but then you get shit like he bugged your house or stole elements of your identity for some stupid shit.

>Bill would probably be the worst neighbor to have.
>boomhauer i would pay no mind.
>dale seem like a fun guy to have around so long as john redcorn is not included.
>Hank as a neighbor, i would leave.

Sad thing is I'm like 50% of each one, so living next to either would be a serious look in the mirror scenario standing on a fence scenario for me...

Dale's mistrust of people is fine and justified, he's an irritating and dangerously reckless human being so it makes sense for him to be paranoid thinking others are out to get him, BUT he has a child like innocence to him and we could probably have some stupid good fun until I'm left dead or holding the bag. Where as with Bill, he honestly just needs a friend and is a super caring individual, and I could probably exploit the shit out of that, and his sad and pathetic existence would make me feel better about myself.

So I'd go with Dale, it's what I deserve.

Bill might creep around your wife, or try to make awkward conversation with you that invariably denigrates to him bemoaning his horrible life. You might also hear him sobbing in the middle of the night for his ex-wife, but that's the extent of your interactions.

Dale is insane and liable to do anything. Who knows what it is you've done, but something's happened to set him off - now he's convinced that you're some kind of government spy sent to apprehend him, or an extraterrestrial with nefarious plans. He sets up surveillance around and inside your home, after digging a tunnel from his basement into yours and hiding the hole behind an anti-government poster. You notice him watching you from his windows, whereupon he makes a weird cry and duck for the floor each time he's noticed. Now there's this carpenter named Octavio at your door, forcing himself inside your home after apparently being called for a quote - he's taking pictures of everything, doesn't explain what it is he's quoting for, doesn't even leave a quote, and you see him later going to Dale's house and trading an envelope of photos for money. Again, Dale notices you and ducks for the floor, crouched down but still plainly visible behind an open door, while Octavio just looks at you and waves. When you take a shower or go to sleep, it smells like something outside your window is smoking, but as you go for the windows you hear something scurrying away and what sounds like a grown man meowing or making weird raccoon noises to throw you off his trail. Again, you can see Dale's leg poking out from behind a bush. This is your life now.

Bill would just kill himself with the right encouragement.

At least a mulligan is better than Dale.

Peggy

I don’t wanna live next to the house some guy killed himself in

on a long enough timespan, every house will eventually be a house someone killed themselves in.

bill is cringe
dale is based
i want to smoke pot and discuss conspiracy theories with him

I don't really talk to my neighbors as it is. I don't see Bill nor Boomhauer bothering me. Dale might, but I doubt it.

Hank would be the worst. My lawn is unkempt. Backyard is full of shit I never finished and weird side projects. Best case scenario he'll just mow my lawn when I'm not home or just ignore me somehow. I just pray I don't have to grow as a person due to him. I'm too old for that shit.
Kahn wouldn't do shit. If anything he'll hate me for my lazy attitude to my home's appearance or love me for my job. I doubt it. I don't like neighbors.

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He once forced an old lady to move out because she couldn’t keep up with the yard work

well fuck. I need to do my research to counter that.

from best to worst:
Boomhauer > Kahn > Hank > Bill > Dale

Boomhauer just wants to live his life, he doesn't bother anyone and no one bothers him. Ideal neighbor.

Kahn is insufferable but you can mostly ignore him and laugh about how insecure he is that he has to put others down.

Hank is pure neutral and how you get treated by him really depends on how you make your first impression. He won't like you if you're a weirdo but as long as you're not actively a douche he'll just put up with it.

Bill is needy and clingy and he'll bother you 100% all the time, but he's mostly well meaning and if you tell him to get lost he'll get lost for at least a little while.

Dale will bug the shit out of your house and actively spy on you until he feels comfortable that you're not a government agent sent to keep track of him. Absolute nutcase unless you get on his good side.

nah, we can just leave earth when it gets too ghost-y

>Hank as a neighbor, i would leave.
Hank is the best neighbor, you numpty.

Considering Texas's very generous definition of castle doctrine, it's frankly amazing Dale is still alive.

Bill would be a way better neighbor. I have had a lot of Dale neighbors and it sucks. They are loud and annoying with all their strange and shitty side projects. Bill would just sit at home and do nothing, maybe some basic lawn maintenance but nothing else. Ironically I do think Dale would be the better friend just because he would actually be willing to do things.

Dale would be better cause you could fuck his wife and then humor his conspiracy theories.

But Hank and the guys only deal with that because they are friends with Bill. Think about Kahn, he doesn't give a fuck about Bill and doesn't need to interact with him. Most of his problems are when Dale's projects start fucking up the neighborhood.

Kahn occasionally complained about Dale's stupidity granted he complains about everything, but Dale was building a giant unsafe tower in his yard and Bill also had a massive flag in his yard.
I'm pretty sure that Dale bugged the whole neigborhood that one time too.

Yeah, but about a decade later he will reverse cuck you, leaving you a shallow middle-aged man with no direction in life and you will watch while your only son takes another man's last name knowing your family lineage will end with you.

Honestly, I would take the flag over the tower. And I think Kahn genuinely likes living near Bill just to mock him. With Dale, he has to keep up his guard in case he decides to fuck with the whole neighborhood.