Co experiences

>go to lcs for reasons long forgotten
>cute chubby girl working the counter
>totally my type, start crushing like an awkward middle schooler
>don't wanna be that guy so pay for my purchase and leave without incident

It was just a mindless compliment, I wasn’t looking to fuck her.

No it stands for cocks.

well you got a mouthful

>in line for self check out at lowes so I can fix my sprinklers
>old man before me exclaims his frustrations at how slow and stupid the other customers are in front of us
>"yeah, the could stand to open a register" I uttered
>he turns his head, sees my shirt and with an audible gasp he tumbles back into the key duplicator
>clutching his chest "For the love of God! What the hell is that?"
>"it's my mom"
>he scrambles away into the paint area and leaves his cart
"Crap, I forgot plumber's tape."

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Stop and drop by the local cock shop.

Most just call themselves bath houses.

What?

>What? Oh sorry I thought it was a Green Lantern shirt.
>What's Big Bang Theory? You mean the cosmological model?

>at house show (local music concert in someone's house, with elements of house party given open availability of drink and drugs)
>wearing Clarence freedom cactus shirt
>someone asks "is that a Steven Universe shirt? a gem cactus?"
>blurt out "NO!", but am suddenly too embarrassed to correct them
At least it was just a random dude and my friends like Clarence..

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I've recently come the realization that I'm a huge poser.
I've met people who are like a decade older than me who have a better knowledge of comic books, cartoons and other popular media.
Maybe it's something about the vibe I give off, but a lot of people I meet assume I'm a huge nerd who likes to play D&D and knows about all the super heroes.
The only stuff I read anymore is weird shit that I'm too embarrassed to talk about in public.

And that girl's name?
Albert Einstein

>have gym class sophomore year of HS with freshman blonde girl
>she's skinny, cute, outgoing and extroverted
>i'm tall, long dark brown hair, basically do everything to hide myself from the world
>i wear regular show shirt every gym period and probably based on that we end up talking constantly through the semester
>she's a happy-go-lucky tumblr-browsing girl, i get my western cartoon fix from Yea Forums
>explain a lot of info and news about cartoons to her, she's legit interested
>we have lunch a few times together, after one period my guy friend actually brings me aside and tells me that she's obviously totally into me but I'm too socially retarded to see it
>but she loves Adventure Time and Homestuck and I can't hide my disdain for either, at least past season two for AT
>one day she brings up wanting to ask someone to homecoming dance and is asking me for advice, she had never kissed anyone
>i give her a funny look, basically dreamworks face with one eyebrow raised
>she says "NOT YOU, OBVIOUSLY!" way too defensively
>she brought some normie and kissed him instead, after we stopped having that class together we mostly drifted apart but we're still FB friends many years later
>my chan-influenced cynicism killed my shots, basically

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uhhh whats going on in this image?

I had a crush on a girl in high school who sat a few seats in front of me. One day I come back from the bathroom to find her and her friend using a sharpie on my binder writing "Bret you are so hot" in giant letters on the front. My name is not Bret. She thought it was another dudes in my class. She gave me an insincere apology and didn't even offer to get me a new binder. It didn't even wash off. I had to scribble it out with another sharpie. For the rest of the school year that scribble reminded me of that moment.

Was also dumped on the phone the day before prom too. Was a girl I had a crush on since elementary school who lived nearby. She asked me out like two or so months before hand. I was shocked she wanted to go with me. Turns out she just wanted to make her ex jealous.

High school was suffering.

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Ironically the hardest part of my high schooling was the academics itself (I'm aspie and it made homework really tough to focus on for subjects I wasn't interested in), I got lucky in the genetic lottery and plenty of girls were interested in me, I just didn't take them up on the offer because I was too self-conscious to think I deserved another person's affection yet.
Little did I know that due to events outside of my control I'd end up being an incomeless loser at 22 without any shot in the dating pool.. I've still had my dick in 3 pussies, but never as part of a lasting relationship

My life.

>implying batman isn't a huge mary sue