Can someone explain to a person who knows absolutely nothing about Hellboy what exactly went wrong?

>Could've kept Ron Perlman to boot
Endless YO LIL DONNIE posts.

Ron Perlman is an elderly liberal faggoot and a race traitor

the scene where hellboy dabs on one of the dead giants was a particular low-point for me.

Absolutely perfect for Hellboy then? He's not big on destiny fixed by your birth and being a nazi.

even for a racist you're an idiot

>entire premise of the film was Hellboy entertaining the idea that maybe monsters aren't all bad
>Never mind monsters are evil because being a monster means you are bad because monsters are bad
>Monsters clear allegory for right wing politics
>Also Hellboy should be ashamed for being brought to life by Nazis even though they had nothing to do with his conception, creation or upbringing

I think Ron would have been perfect.

The part where Nimue summons her army is what did it for me.

>Nimue stands overlooking a moonlit vista, beckoning them to come to her
>the hoards of evil swarm, they go up the hill toward her
>a hag walks forward from the crowd, kneels before Queen Nimue and says
>PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT

It was too Lit AF for the Yea Forums audience. Smh, these fuccbois don't even understand that even demons have demons™

>Ron Perlman is an elderly liberal faggoot and a race traitor
Perlman is Jewish though.

I don't know, the part when the Baba Yaga told Hellboy to subscribe to Pewdiepie was pretty atmospheric.

Yeah but he was /our/ Jew.

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>race traitor

have sex

The producers botched it. They wanted another Deadpool.

You don’t need to know about hellboy to know what went wrong

I can tell you from just seeing the trailers alone, tried too hard to fallow deadpool edge lord violence while attempting to be serious but quickly cancelling it out with annoying quips and having the last word like an annoying kid. All the gore in the fighting looked off putting , some strange style of cgi or just bad cgi, i don't know.

No charisma or likable character traits to be seen, I like Milla but there was nothing about her that made her stand out from any other of her roles. The other supporting actors were hardly present and give me no reason to care about them.

Again from the trailers, nothing seemed new or interesting, It felt like that series of Hellboy movies were over, and this movie just didnt have enough to regain my interest with a shady looking reboot were a bunch of beloved characters were gone. People will always hate change and they did a poor job in showing the world it could stand up to he other films.

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>some strange style of cgi or just bad cgi, i don't know

It was pretty bad CGI for quite a few things, like Daimo’s transformation, the giants, and the creatures of the night. It stood out really bad, and even the motion shots didn’t cover it up.

except then it would "Fuck Drumph" the movie

Shit now I love Perlman even more.

They tried to adapt like 4 different stories, along with their characters, their own plot, the mythos, all while making every character straight up not like they were in the comic.

But how does that make him a race traitor?

>Hellboy: Sword of Storms being developed
>initial animations so close to Mignolas style he had them change it

Why would he do this? His style is beautiful. I could only imagine animating it with all the shadows cast.

Hellboy is also a race traitor though.

iirc Mignola hates seeing people try to translate his art style into animation. He doesn't like how it looks.
I think this is part of what sunk the screw on head adaptation as well.
No, I don't understand it either.

You're retarded, but I did lose all respect for Perlman when he told the Weinstein story.

You're among the many who know what a piece of shit he is, but instead of doing anything that might hurt your career you pissed on your hand and make him touch it.

You wait for others to come forward so you'll be totally safe before telling your story of childish cowardice and expect to be praised.

Worthless fucking scumbag.

It wasn't directed by del Toro

Based Ron

Is this Hellboy movie related in anyway to the first one?

Have sex

No

>what exactly went wrong?

It doesn't have the moe fish husbando.

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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I didn't know about this and now I'm annoyed.

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it doesn't.

save hex

>Ron Perlman is an elderly liberal faggoot
This is true, but so are most actors, artists, and film makers. I've just learn to ignore their retarded opinions so long as it doesn't cause any quantifiable harm. If I had to ignore every piece of media where someone helping produce it had a shitty political opinions then I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything. Learn to remove the artist from the art man it'll make you way happier.

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Which makes him perfect for the role.

GOOD.

Now swallow a bullet, child murderer.

Good, fuck you.

A man of taste I see

He also tweeted trying to sound like he was some ghetto thug nigga in response to smirkgate. Then deleted it.

What? I am irritated and itchy now!

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Imagine if they did a Sandman movie and the whole thing was just a two hour adaptation of The Wake reimagined as some burning man type super party in the dreaming, like a comedy of errors with supporting characters that never got set up and poorly executed fan service.

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too much hell, not enough boys

>C3PO Abe
Not even worth having him in it if they gonna do that again.

No one that isn't insane cares, /pol/

>Kept Perlman

"AAYOO! I SHIT MYSELF AND TASTED IT! BET YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG DUM DUM ABOUT MY STINKY OL' BUM BUM!

I wonder if an Abe with a proper nose could work?

Correct.

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Can someone explain this Ron Pearlman meme to me?

He makes a lot of insane sounding tweets directed at Donald Trump. I think one of them was about finding out a friend of his voted for Trump, so Pearlman wanted to invite him over for dinner and shit on his plate.

so i guess I’m on team Pearlman now, dope

Me too.

Grinding Nemo sucked

The hysterical way Americans speak about Trump is out of this world.

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Let us compare trailers.

Hellboy 2004
youtube.com/watch?v=kA9vtXbbhVs

Hellboy 2019
youtube.com/watch?v=ZsBO4b3tyZg

YO LIL user

Honestly, if Baba Yaga told me to do that I'd kind of have to.

Nice bloodbath of the literal sort.

I'm sure plenty of women went to see it as they fantasized about fucking a fish monster as much as men would with Zora/Mipha. My only complaint is fucking for Hollywood by not catering to my monster girl fetish as they do for women with their taming of the Beast fetish.

Does anyone have the one where he posts a selfie from Hell saying "NOW I'M A REAL HELLBOY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?"

I think Mignola hates his art style as much as so many people love it.

>Grinding Nemo

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A girl I know had changed her profile banner to the fish guy when the movie came out.

why even illustrate his comics at all if he hates his own art-style so much? I don't get it. it's a cool style.

On some level, I think he probably feels pissed for how much shit fans gave him when he started drawing like that (while he was still in the big two, I think the first "mignolese" work by him I can think of are Triumph & Torment and Cosmic Odyssey) only for people to start copying him now that it's safe.
I think he's too anally retentive about it (yeah nigga you're just drawing "simple Kirby" then blacking everything out so jot that artistry down) but I kinda understand him.
Now that I think of it, a lot of the comics quality (and eventual downfall) can probably be traced to that, Mignola proved the readers wrong by making this very succesful and weird looking book and now he probably feels like he knows best (which might be the case when we're dealing with "Where should I insert a panel with a ominous bird", but not with "How much control should I give those executives" or whatever)

Fuck I hate to think about it but that "mignola is liefeld for pretentious faggots" might be on to something.
Granted, I really don't care about being a pretentious faggot, I kinda revel in it, so I guess life goes on as usual.

Nearly everything went wrong.

No Ron either.

This board could do with more pretentious faggots t-b-h - or better still - the world.

a woman romancing a beast dude who isn't even shown to be sapient is "romantic" and oscar-worthy, but a dude romancing a monster girl is awful and degenerate and probably offensive.

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>Studios still can't figure out that animation works best for Hellboy
I would kill to see a hellboy movie that looked like this

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oh fuck, anything animated with this?
this would be so sweet

Fuck you, his characterization in the movies was adorable.

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are you a scaley, user?

Honestly, it's the interesting and weird side characters that made the original movies work. Hellboy by himself is just boring.

Only for Abe. The Shape of Water fish does nothing for me.

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Not in cel-shading.
Not unless it's done properly, like in some parts of Spider-Verse.
3d is hard to deliver and i'd love it if they used classic 2d like this instead: youtube.com/watch?v=XbsDvGtTRWU&t=369s

>If I had to ignore every piece of media where someone helping produce it had a shitty political opinions then I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything.
>enjoy anything.
user, enjoyment isn't exclusive to American media and shitty pop culture products.

I whole series in this style would be amazing. Shame it's never going to happen though.

you're my kind of pretentious faggot my dude

I wouldn't call it for pretentious faggots. I'd call it for people in denial

i wasn't expecting you to admit it, but that's, uh well, okay.

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In denial of of what?

I'm not in denial, if I wake up yesterday, pick up a Youngblood comic and enjoy it, I will keep on.
While personally I do think Mignola is one of the greatest cartoonists ever, I'm not gonna pretend it's much more than "devil is sad because he punches things in chiaroscuro". Things don't need to be much more than that to be very good.

Mike has a neat style and he certainly knows how to panel a page and tell a story, but Hellboy wouldn't be considered as masterful without Dave Stewart.

Look at that crown, that's bad imagery, peoplenot downwith evil looking dudes no more

Fair. I also enjoy action stuff. I think some Hellboy fans had the wrong impression of where the guy's strengths were. I retract my post

What about non-humanoid fish?

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As expected of a man who's played multiple parts requiring furry make-up.

Wait, it came out already? And failed?

It was pretty good, comicbookesque movie. Too fast storytelling is only problem.

Yeah, it was a car crash. I only went to see it out of morbid curiosity. Even then it was worse than I imagined

Released between Shazam/Captain Marvel and Endgame. Despite being R-rated, it's mostly competing for the same audiences.

Also Hellboy looks ugly af. Not that the point of Hellboy is to be attractive, but Perlman Hellboy looked badass to most people, this one is just... ugly.

that's so dumb. not only am i gonna unplug his refrigerator, I'm gonna rearrange the contents of his pantry and hide the coffee

context?

How bad was it?

I liked Abe more when I didn't know he used to a human
finding out he used to be a white boi occultist ruined him for me

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user please, it's not worth it. Just think about your family. You're better than this

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Imagine Suicide Squad with constant unnecessary swearing and gore, and with some really bad acting.

Sorry to say it user, but The Shape of Water is probably the closest we’re gonna get to a live action western adaptation of Monster Musume

Was it that bad

Is that from the comics?

yeah, in fact it was MOTHERFUCKING BADASS \m/-_-\m/

Ew, no. Either go Abe or go home.

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so suicide squad, then

I remember some old movie. If i remember correctly, Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills.

>Hellboy has all the monster husbandos you could ever want
>all the women in it look like normal women

It's not fair.

But it also have monster gilf with nude tiddies, user.

>read the comic it's based on.
>didn't read any previous ones but it's easy to understand thanks to expository dialogue
>starts interesting, a group of people making a tradition to hunt Giants that rise from the dead and stuff
>Oh shit! The Wild Hunt betrayed Hellboy! What a twist!
>end of issue 1
>what will happen next? Will they hunt Hellboy now? What about the Giants? Will Hellboy try to get revenge? Was the betrayal done just for a mansion or is there more to it?
>get excited af and read the rest
>instead of actually exploring the questions above they throw random shit after random shit and deux ex machina after deux ex machina
>the Giants are dealt with off-screen
>The Wild Hunt doesn't even reappear and that intresting plot-line is completely dropped in favor of having a world-destroying super-villainess instead
What a load of shit. Hellboy being considered good can only be explained by comic-readers having no critical-sense whatsoever.

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>Hellboy has all the monster husbandos you could ever want

Speaking of which, full suited Kroenen is hot. Wish he was in the new movie.

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>didn't read any previous ones
>but it's easy to understand thanks to expository dialogue

You clearly didn't understand, pal.

The fangirls agree

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Doesn't help that the majority of dudes out there don't care for that and would rather have cosplay tier girls.

that's some neat s&m shit.

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He have a cameo in flashback

He is a masochist if I recall correctly. Kind of reminds me of a less creepy and flamboyant Voldo from Soul Caliber.

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kek

You read just the one comic?

1. girls are already the equivalent of owning a dog that u can fugg
2. girls only appreciate when u lie to them
3. They dislike the truth of #1 most of all

In conclusion, they end up lying to themselves and say that ‘man is the one I tame with my pucci’

TL;dr: go get laid

Have sex.

I'm not into humans anymore

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If u stop jacking off to cartoon ponies for a few weeks and go get some regular exercise, u might just find a way to change ur own mind

Someone thought: lets have Hellboy cuss and have a bunch of gore for no reason at all, ppl will love it, just like Deadpool.

you're boring

That costume looks like it was made for tv or at least a web series with a budget

and they were correct.

Just cause girls hurt ur feelings with those two little words (and phrases like ‘your annoying’, ‘what do u want?’, and ‘please leave’) doesn’t actually mean that they have any effect on strangers.

He clearly can't, didn't you read his post?

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Why the fuck did they make him so fucking ugly?

You literally only exist because a woman gave you life, you ungrateful faggot.

because he's supposed to look HECKIN' BADASS.

U think I’m ungrateful to my mom cause the majority of women I have had contact with are useless as stand ins for piles of dogshit?

Ur bait is the bait of a nooblord9001. But here is a reply anyways. Break ur computer and never come on the internet again.

All of that shit gets answered, which you would have known if you actually read the comic.

You type like a 15 year old dumbass from the Philippines.

I think it was actually surgical addiction. He fixed himself until there was hardly any of himself left.

It was a massive bomb and a critical failure so I'm having a hard time seeing your logic here.

was kroenen played by Jones too? don't remember seeing him and Abe onscreen at the same time
wild how they managed to take him from rando ugly scientist who only appears once or twice to fangirl bait

Del Toro knows exactly what the ladies want in their monster husbandos.

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>probably feels pissed for how much shit fans gave him when he started drawing like that
I read about how people were mad when Jack Kirby came back to Marvel because they thought his style was "dated"
Comic book readers are a weird lot

He certainly does know how to make the ladies wet

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it was just a little too high-brow for the unwashed masses.

People actually gave him shit for drawing like that? Holy shit, what absolute plebs.

Comic Hellboy is oddly adorbs tbqh, lthough I suppose the look is too hard to translate into real-life. But yeah, the reboot one is particularly gnarly.

youtube.com/watch?v=4fR9e58jCZ4

That's a horrifying image you just gave there bearanon.

>tfw this will never get properly funded

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That's oddly specific. Are we known for typing like that to an international userbase?

This is really cool.

>those big anime eyes
>those shy mannerisms

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So I heard the series finally ended and figured it's the best time to catch up. Decided to re-read it from the beginning again and downloaded all 12 volumes but do I need to get the BRPD stuff too or does Hellboy's main arc end with those twelve books? I figure I'd read the BRPD stuff later.

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It ends with the final BPRD one.

That's because the Hollywood standard of beauty for women is very strict like how every time theres a female version of a monster ie a werewolf it's just a sexy lady with dog ears or smn.

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thanks mate

CARLOOOOS!

>stereotypical hot chicks with tails and ears
>monster

Too busy getting human pussy and winning best picture.

I feel that came down to pretty much being sucker punched by people he had his guard down around. Then being shocked by enough electricity while standing in that body of water which amplified it. While the fights with the giants he was prepared for and had his guard up after being sucker punched. But I agree with the last part I was really hoping for more out of the last hell demons.

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The Wild Hunt is part two of a 3 part long-form trilogy narrative that is built off the backs of previous stories stretching back years.

You're complaining about seeing things not resolved because you didn't continue reading to see things resolved.

They had shit all for budget (50 mil vs. 2004's 65 mil in 2004 money) and their prosthetics team was a hell of a lot fucking worse than Del Toro's. You literally see the prosthetics falling off David Harbour's face at times. It was just the result of them being shit at their job. You can kinda tell this as well in how Hellboy's hair is set up, covering a ton of his face and head where or when the shit is sloppily applied or looks bad. Which is a lot.

Hellboy can be read on it's own and is entirely enjoyable all the way through Hellboy in Hell without touching BPRD.

BPRD is also great and should be read on it's own merits as it's own thing, that does get Hellboy involved again at the very tail end, but for the largest part is John Arcudi and a lot of great artists working together.

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Nah, this nigga wishes he was as cute as Abe.

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Fuckin' right fucking on user!

Just watched it tonight, and while it had direct nods to some of my favorite stories in the comics (Hellboy in Mexico) - I wish it were a better movie, and that Hellboy weren't shouting every line all the time.

Cool send off

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You sure about that?

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Check out the Amazing Screw-On-Head pilot if you want to see some Mignola in motion. Absolutley amazing, we been robbed.

What am I looking at here?

Well, it catered to my female masturbation fetish from the get go, so I don't judge

>what exactly went wrong?

It's a non-DC/Marvel comic book movie adapted from material only actual comic nerds read and Endgame is literally around the corner and people want to see that and not some bullshit like this

The Screw-on Head pilot was just too fucking good

>Get me... The astounding snap-on cock.

Shit save me the willies.

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>only actual comic nerds
It's a monthly action series that got dragged out for 20 years with the promise of ending with an apocalypse. It lost steam the same way as any battleshonen, as well as having a ton of boring spinoffs.
Hellboy isn't a hot property the way people thought, and autists couldn't get over GDT not coming back when capeshitters get AU adaptations all the time and give them a chance at least.

Without knowing anything about the comics, the movie felt rushed, and the message felt confusing. Was I supposed to root for Hellboy to not go evil? Because in the short span of a few minutes, he goes from being a hero hunting evil giants with a group of good humans, to being attacked by his allies, and to finally being attacked by the giants as well. That didn't help in making it more clear why Hellboy would chose to stick with humans instead of being evil. The movie made me root for him to go evil and kill off humanity, maybe change the world to being a better movie while he is at it.

How about anthropomorphic creatures with human faces? I really wish BBC will do spin-off about Vastra and her team.

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Literally just becaude he insulted Trump on twitter. Remember you can't say a bad word about their cuck emperor to those sissy faggots without them going apeshit.

Turning Hellboy to a Superhero. He's not, he a government working 9-5 day job who handles bullshit on a daily basis. He's more of a pulp character. That's why I like him. It's like Judge Dredd (He's a sci-fi pulp character not a super heroe). He'll save your life from dying but put you in handcuffs in a heartbeat for a small law breaking regulatation. Hellboy is actually a chill dude.

[2/2]
Hellboy is the type of person to do his Government job and saving lives from mystical horrors but will go in the office demanding a good pay raise for his salary or a vacation lol.

boring ass monster movie that lacked any unique style or tone

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They dropped everything that made the other two sleeper, more cult hits in favour of a hard R rating, a washed out, nonsense script and generally lost the soul that made the del toro films even a little bit special

really great art but the direction and of course the horrible voice acting is really holding it back

The way Abe fucks around and acts like a hormonal teenager kind of justifies the way Devon treated him.

The thing looks like a fat Jeb Bush.

Does Kroenen not do much in the comics?

Mignola's only comment I've heard for Screw on Head is that he only ever intended it to be a one-shot and never wanted a series. Also David Hyde Peirce stole the fucking show and made it far better than it could of been. He was also pissed when he found out he was overdubbing Doug Jones in the 2004 film. He refused to be listed in the credits whatsoever

could have or could've. How anyone could mistake it with of is beyond me.

what is this klingon shit

oh user you're so cute

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Kraus design is so fucking cool

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Sillurians from "Doctor Who" are reptilian race living in the hollow earth.

he tweets in this guido accent, so it's gold

>a person who knows absolutely nothing about Hellboy
Apparently they hired someone like you to make a movie based on him.

they picked the most confusing hellboy story and then mashed in several more stories to make it even more jumbled.
then they gave hellboy daddy issues, trevor burtenholm is a hard ass father and hellsing like slayer now who is constantly berating hellboy. in the comics trevor like dies in the first page.
and then they added a shitload of gore. there is barely any gore in hellboy, its so stylized you can't really pull it off.
deltoro's hellboy 1 is literally just the first comic but just padded out, except for wild hunt and other stories near the end hellboy is pretty straight and simple which makes it perfect for adapting.

they should have adapted the conqueror worm instead of wild hunt as conquer worm is peak hellboy.
he was. but he wasn't a gasmask ninja like the del toro version but just a silent rasputin fan club member.

Read the comics then.

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>bprd or any spinoff comic

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I'm not sure what that reaction image is supposed to convey but most of the spinoffs are pretty good, often better the later Hellboy stories.

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>and director stated Hellboy can't have sex with mortals.

Did he give a reason?

Maybe to avoid that weird shit in Golden Army when Liz was pregnant with the helltwins.

>Did he give a reason?
>Maybe to avoid ...

He didn't give a reason then.

K E K

the last page from the last issue.

You probably shouldn’t see Hellboy then.

>and hide the coffee

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In the comics he's a scientist, not a steampunk cyborg ninja. He's still cool tho despite appearing only a few times.

The best part in this is that John Byrne isn't listed

this just made me realize sex is strangely absent from Hellboy's life. As far as we know, he only lost his virginity in his 70s and died like a week later (or maybe I'm forgetting or skipped some love interest before Alice?)

Hellboy is so pure that lilies grow from his shed blood

This film suffers heavily, almost exclusively actually, from the mentality that they should 'adapt' cool/iconic/fan favourite moments with none of the buildup or associated payoff.

Almost every scene if this film is a chinese knockoff of an original moment that plays out better in the comics. When you adapt something with fan service like that, you need to maintain the tone and feel of it so that it actually feels like fan service. At the moment it's like this weird halfway house between what they think a modern audience wants and what a potential Hellboy fan audience wants. Ultimately rather than pleasing either it just makes for a very frustrating viewing experience in both camps.

Someone who knows nothing about Hellboy is going to get a confusing mess of a film that makes no sense. Someone that knows a lot about Hellboy is going to get a half assed, tonally inconsistent and soulless feeling film. This film doesn't understand it's audience at all and that's the essential reason it fails so hard. It doesn't even come close to good precisely because it genuinely doesn't even know where it should be aiming to hit the mark in the first place.

I didn't know it came out until this thread.
>50 million budget
>25 million boxoffice
>"Bereft of the imaginative flair that made earlier Hellboys so enjoyable, this soulless reboot suggests Dante may have left a tenth circle out of his Inferno."
Ouch
I was at a Sam Goody and saw they had BPRD shirts and thought that was cool and didn't remember they were making a reboot with the guy who played the cop in Stranger Things.
I'll probably get one of those shirts if they go on sale which is probably pretty likely.

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Hellboy already had two animated movies released featuring the cast of the Del Toro movies. I can't see what else can be done aside from some more direct-to-video animated movies.

I don't think him and Alice even had sex. He just sat by her bed as she slept.

>see trailer
>looks pretty good
>get seed of destruction tpb
>holy shit the tone of the book is the polar opposite of the tone of the trailer

I gathered from the trailer that it was gonna be a comedy and the book was really serious (with a few funny moments)

Now I don't wanna see it

He lost his v-card in Mexico and had a few major girlfriends before Alice

>Now I don't wanna see it

that's for the best. i over-dosed in cringe while watching it.

hey remember when this happened

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what is it?

She was legit the best character though.

Some crossover comic I saved of hellboy and beasts of burden on Yea Forums a few years agi

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>hide the coffee

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question: in the final issue, did hellboy become a part of hecate, like a male angler fish does when it joins to a female, or did he just die for real?

bampu~

That was actually a great little one shot. Still have it in floppy. Jill Thompson is good at her job.

No one knows.

TWISTED

FUCKING

PSYCHOPATH

not to rag on him because hes got a right to his opinion but that nigga sounded crazy af when he posted those insults. the selfies dont help either.

That honestly just weird old people stuff imo. A lot of them do the most baffling things online because they didn't grow-up with it. I have a 72 year old uncle who behaves similarly on FB. Embarrassing yet hilarious.

Well to be fair electing him has made our political system that much more of a joke. I think Americans cant come to terms with being global laughingstocks

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Why is he always so crabby in movies?

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because it's more relatable to the intended audience: teenage boys.

He's just a scientist in the comics. The only thing that set him apart from the others in Ragna Rok is his cool mask. I don't think they really even give a reason for the mask, it's just there.

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They could've just opened with Wake the Devil. It has more of a unique tone than Seed of Destruction, and they could've introduced Roger. If that did well they could've adapted Conqueror Worm next, then done the Wild Hunt /Storm and the Fury as the last film.

K E K
E
K

Fuck you I liked it

One of the most appealing things about him is he's the every-man despite being a big red demon guy

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the wildest thing is the fact that it's true.

Even Mignola doesn't know.

Nice.

hey since this thread is kinda slow i'm gonna just dump what I have of this comic
foreword im literally just screencapping the pages since I dont want to research a way to just get the full pages out

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just lemme know if anyone is reading

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This seems cute.

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It didnt have Ron Pissman in it

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and the bonus pages

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Reading. Thanks btw.

Bump!

Don't worry, user. I liked it, too. Wasn't a fan of the humor but it was a fun and dumb action movie I could enjoy. If I want something that captures the feel of the comic books, I'll read the comic books. Maybe the animated movies as well.

I wish I could just enjoy things for what they are.

It's okay, man. You're you and I'm me. Let's just both enjoy the things that we like.

Yeah, I suppose...

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Is it possible to fuck this guy? Because I want to.

Years ago, some user on /co helped me close the gaps in my digital Hellboy collection by storytiming Hellboy vs the Aztec Mummy. Let’s read it again now!

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Why?

Nice, user, very nice.

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Based user

Sorry I can’t go any faster

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I personally love when Mignola adds decoration to the backgrounds. He really got bored of this before he started HiH

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Dave Stewart is a god.

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And that’s it!

Good night, my friends. Sorry the movie sucks.

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Hellboy probably had sex with his demon wife while drunk and possibly Anastasia Bransfield in the 70s

Same. It's one of the things that drew me to his work in the first place.

he had a demon wife? i'm a noob, so pardon my slowness.

Kraus is kute!

No problem. Yeah, while he was in Mexico on a drunken bender he got tricked into marrying a demon/possible vampire woman like a Las Vegas wedding kinda thing.

>Hellboy cant have sex with mortals

Not that that isnt retarded, but it always bothered me somewhat that HB's love interest in the comics was the baby he saved.

It doesnt really bother me in and of itself, but it seemed uncharacteristic for the big guy. Like something that would really get under his skin and make him uncomfortable. Especially considering that he hasn't really been alive long enough for his agelessness to dull him to that sort of thing.

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It is kinda weird but part their relationship also has to be that they both don't age the same way as real humans. It's probably hard for Alice to find people to date too with all the fae shit she got up to.

aww he left the pug

Thanks user

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Angler fish are weird.

Hellboy was fully grown by the time he was nine

He doesn't think about these things the way regular people would

This makes me wonder if Kraus has any sexuality at all.

The new movie was so bad that even John Myers was a better character than literally all the side characters in the new one.

He's the best in the biz.

>movie Abe
>nerd bitch nigga
>comics Abe
>tactical operator operating tactically in the operation area (And also a bro able to beat the fuck out of giant monsters with his bare hands and take a beating almost on par with Hellboy)

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And yet he died like an absolute bitch with no one in universe even caring that he's gone and has nowhere near the fangirls of movie Abe.

Face it, user, moe twink Abe is best Abe.

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>this soulless reboot suggests Dante may have left a tenth circle out of his Inferno

fuck that is harsh

You kidding? The guy is a full on hedonistic horny bastard.
He just doesn't have a cock.

He'll have one of those religions with billions of followers thanking him for their lives.
Like that south american god that gave his life to fire up the sun.

>No fish
>No wholesome bubble-boy.

gott in himmel

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You know I've noticed a trend, people that try to act superior to people that like monster girls by flexing how much more into xeno/monster girls they are always seem to still be total plebs when it comes to that.
It's always like "Oh you want to fug xenomorphs? How pathetic! meanwhile I want to fuck greys or turians!" all three of which are basically the same shit and none are any more exotic than a fucking twilek.

Abe is dead? What story?

Why is he so cute, bros?

Meanwhile, this Abe will go on being alive and cute.

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*im

>this thread

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What did user mean by this?

The director was a pushover and let some of the actors (David Harbour, Ian McShane, etc.) rewrite the script as they went along.

I could potentially storytime another short this afternoon if anybody wants. If the thread survives.

Any requests?

The wasn't anyone LEFT to miss him besides Hellboy and Liz, and they were busy.

Hellboy and Liz very much cared but it was neither the time nor the place. But yeah he went out like a bitch.

Gruagach were great. I liked Daimio too. Really I liked everybody but Harbour's performance and the daddy issues.

I went in with really low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. The way the through plot adapted different stories hurt the pacing and felt disjointed but I liked seeing the actual comics on screen, and I liked the effects and the fights.

>Dave Stewart is a god.
This is the damn truth. Mignola is a great storyteller but these books wouldn't be considered the masterpieces they are without Dave Stewart's colors.