The Happytime Murders

What went wrong?

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twitter.com/AnonBabble

They thought Avenue Q succeeded because raunchy puppets rather than the underlying theme of "let's teach young adults in their twenties the same way we taught little kids about life".

God where do you even start with this

Can I say everything? Because it's pretty much everything

I was unironically really excited for this until I heard Melissa McCarthy was in it. And I don't HATE her, buuuutttt...

Chinese backers tried to figure out what Americans liked.

>Le puppets doing things puppets shouldn't be doing XD

No puppet tits.

This. You can't just make things adult and then give no real story or underlying theme to it.

Melissa McCarthy acted more like a wacky cartoon character than the actual puppets, who for the most part were played pretty straight. She had no chemistry with Phil.

They waste a bunch of time by making most of the plot be taken up by an extremely convoluted plan that involves Phil accidentally being caught on the crime scene of every murder.

They mostly drop the human vs. puppet prejudice angle after the first act.

They spend so much time introducing a huge cast of characters only to kill them five minutes later.

It didn't lean enough on being a noir detective film.

The puppet sex was explicit enough

Unless you're making porn. Which I would have preferred honestly.

Wasn't:

I wish puppetry was more popular as a medium.

This was supposed to launch an adult muppet studio and revitalize the Jim Henson Company.

I think they tried to make it for 10 years and finally got it by outting the puppeteer for Kermit for giving notes on what he thought Kermit might say/do differently.

It's okay user. Nobody likes Melissa McCarthy.

>You can't just make things adult and then give no real story or underlying theme to it.
From your lips to DC Editorial's ears, user.

I do. Just because I don't want to fuck her doesn't mean she can't do solid work. Spy is legit funny and if you dont think so you're a shitty humorless idiot. She was ok in Happytime Murders too, if not actually good.

They spent like 180 seconds having the MC jizz silly string around his office. What would have satisfied you? Actual fully erect puppet dong shooting confetti cum?

>Which I would have preferred honestly.
Woodrocket: The Puppet Inside Me
Seriously, mugga.

Greg the Bunny did the whole puppets and humans living together better than this film did

Hot take: all the lead actresses in Ghostbusters were great, but saddled with a shitty script and a fucking terrible director. They did what they could, but there was no saving that stinker.

Wasn't there an earlier script or something that was more a straightforward crime story but it's just all done with talking puppets, or am I remembering wrong?

It's big in Taiwan apparently. Different kind of puppets, but still.

>Spy is legit funny and if you dont think so you're a shitty humorless idiot
Sure thing, kid. Feig humor, just as american humor is so amazing, it is universally liked.
The fat broad and the unfunny hack should be praised and rised to the level of Chaplin and Keaton.

>I think they tried to make it for 10 years and finally got it by outting the puppeteer for Kermit for giving notes on what he thought Kermit might say/do differently.
I firmly believe Disney gave the Henson company money to shit talk Steve Whitmire, money which they then used to finish the movie. There's years worth of interviews with the Henson kids praising Whitmire for keeping Kermit alive after Jim's passing, but after Whitmire criticized Kermit's characterization in ABC's The Muppets, the Mouse needed to make an example of him. Also didn't help that one of the Henson daughters had a public hate-boner for Steve and was probably the first one in line to take that money from Disney.

I know, but I mean good puppet porn.

>Hurr hurr i am calling you a kid because i am so much older and wiser and here is my counter argument: NO U HAHA GOT EM
This was a good talk we had.

>They mostly drop the human vs. puppet prejudice angle after the first act.
The way they bring things up never gets resolved. Homeless puppet dancing Phil "hey we don't need to do that anymore."
Homeless puppet "but I like to dance." Brings in the point that some puppet like how it was before, again never get's address again.
Then Phil's brother trying to be more human, but he gets killed by a dog and no real sense of irony or lesson learned.

>They spend so much time introducing a huge cast of characters only to kill them five minutes later.
This would have been okay, if they followed with the original plot instead of doing the twist on Phil.
>It didn't lean enough on being a noir detective film.
Again my main problem with the movie. A detective movie with a twist of puppets could've been okay. Any Melissa McCarthy movie goes for the easy joke, which just makes it more of a dumpster fire.

>The fat broad and the unfunny hack should be praised

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>Most of the Internet: Over-the-top adult crude humor is terrible. Stop doing it.
>STX: Hey, why don't we make an over-the-top adult crude comedy with puppets?
>Internet: Fuck

>I mean good puppet porn
Well ... there's Meet The Feebles, but that's just Hard-R.

It was in the middle in a bad way.
Most people would find it too weird/niche of an idea so they didn't want to see it so no blockbuster bucks.
And niche audiences who love the weird wouldn't have found it weird enough to praise it so no cult following.

The best part of the movie was showing how they did the puppetry in the credits.
It couldn't even compete with Meet The Feebles in weirdness, which really is the bar they would have had to reach.

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IT didn't make any fuckin sense, as a movie. The fact you are doing a comedy doesn't mean you can skip basic things.
The timeline is messed up, the puppet goes in the run just because the FBI wants to talk to him, is as if they took every cop movie trope and droped it there without really bothering in if it made sense there. If at least the tropes were dumped there as a parody in a way that was funny like in naked gun it would be reasonable, but the way they did it was terrbie.
Also, it wasn't very funny overall, a couple of scenes that could take you a smile, but most part of the time was boring as fuck.

I like it, if only because it seems too rare to see a female comedian doing physical comedy. I mean sure it's probably easier to fake physical comedy these days but it's still good to see someone willing to go for it.

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Imho, the thing that limits puppetry is the lack of puppeteers and not the lack of popularity. I really can't blame entertainers for not picking up puppetry since it's stupidly hard. Not only do you have to know how to work with your puppet, you also have to know voiceacting and improvisation comedy.

Her* not it. Whoops

Already seen it. It's a dry well, I know.

Sheeeeit I remember watching Greg the Bunny late at night on IFC. Not because I had good taste as an 11 year old, I just knew it was the French Nudity Channel

Meet The Feebles was done 20 years ago and was a good movie that lived up to its premise.

The concept art for this looks like they wanted to do an actual crime film but with puppets at some point, but that all got thrown out the window when Melissa McCarthy and her husband got on board the project.

30 years ago, user

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ironically she had the best joke

she had a puppet liver meaning she was addicted to sugar

It wasn't bad, but needed to be a netflix movie. I liked it.

the funniest part was the blooper real and the look of "oh fuck this isn't going well" on the puppeteer's face as he sprayed everything with silly string/puppet jizz.

Fuck this, post good puppet media.
youtube.com/watch?v=LhjMOtaBqVc

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Everything

Virtually nothing spiked nobodys interest.
Oh! Puppets saying a bad word! UuuUUuh...so? The same Goes for that food party movie or whatever that was called. Is this people aware the internet exist for over two decades? Everything in the universe has been corrupted by remixes, re-dubs, Photoshop etc
Don't believe me? Search for "the puppet rapist" on YouTube literally over 10 years Ago.

"The Life of Ernest Hemingway" and "The Gumtree Shelf" are probably the best parts.

Sing it with me now.

THE LAND IS CLOAKED IN DEEPEST BLUE

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youtube.com/watch?v=SVxGh5GpP0Q
Also a better use of the "puppets are doing adult things" concept.

>This would have been okay, if they followed with the original plot instead of doing the twist on Phil.

My preference would have been that instead of murdering EVERY cast member, they just murdered Phil's brother and made Phil a suspect from the get go.

Forgot this one. I love it too.
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Just finished watching The Puppet Inside Me. I dunno, Brian could've taken the film to another level, imho. Why not? The movie has been in development hell for the last decade.

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>That actress.
>Muppets.
Pick one.

Can co recommend me some good puppet kino? Best muppet series/season? Favorite fraggle rock episodes? I wanna get nostalgic

Peewee Herman's playhouse, Mr. Rogers, and Farscape. Any 80's movie with puppets almost, too. Their puppetry, animatronics, writing, and make up were at a peak during that time due to less uptight standards and no CG yet.

>kino
I recommend you killing yourself.

Yeah it honestly would've won more people over by being more of a legacy movie than a complete reboot and doing something interesting with the villain and overall plot.

I want another Henson Alternative talk show. NYSU was great, and I think it's probably the best use of the company pushing adult content with puppets without it feeling forced.
youtube.com/watch?v=50_GE0Z0QEg

>Melissa McCarthy

There's your answer.

youtube.com/watch?v=CnALEIur_gM

Dark Crystal still holds up, and recently had a 4k restoration so probably really good rips out there now.
Also there have been tons of recent comics related to the series.

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needed more than the premise

FPBP
It didn't help that the people involved didn't have the storytelling chops to go with the technical know how. The puppetry in the movie was pretty good but it was wasted on toilet humor and a plot that didn't know if it wanted to Noir, a buddy cop comedy, or drama.

All of Jacksons older movies are so charming in their own way. Ill always have a special place in my heart for feebles

Jim Henson's Dinosaurs. Heartwarming ending

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Melissa McCarthy's character felt like an after thought put in a later draft when they needed more star power.
Phil is the main character yet there are scenes focused on McCarthy doing fuck all or wasting time on the being part puppet shit. Oh, wow she's addicted to maple syrup, that adds a huge layer to Phil's story.

Different kind of puppets than what you're probably asking for, but if you're looking for some real puppet kino.

youtube.com/watch?v=1muOeJ4fBps

You should all watch "Can You Ever Forgive Me?"

youtube.com/watch?v=_6BqPMv4aHM

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Went to see this because I fucking love puppets and noir, and it did get a few laughs from me.McCarthy wasn't nearly as bad as she's been in other films, she was fairly well reigned in and it kind of worked to have an unfuckable woman play that role.
I think the worst parts were the tonal confusion, scattered/overblown plot, poor writing, and under-utilization of puppets as a medium.
For god's sakes, they couldn't change expressions. Just soften up the facial mechanics and let puppeteers act. That's part of the magic of puppets.

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You've posted a gif Aidy Bryant though.
She's better than McCarthy because she plays her straights straighter and plays her falls harder.

Not enough hot puppet girls.

Not enough puppets doing stuff. I like how the advertisements are better than the actual movie. Not a high bar to reach, but still. The movie didn't have to be DoA.
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puppeteers can't act you retard

See this Instagram video by @blarkandson instagram.com/p/BvpZPsLnhYa/?utm_source=ig_web_button_native_share

Alright then
youtube.com/watch?v=-4TG1vPE1So

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>I don't HATE her
I do

Would this have worked better with Will Ferrell?

I enjoy that show, it's a mix of comfy and spooky.

>Can co recommend me some good puppet kino?
31 minutos

The hell is this supposed to mean?

Team america style. Besides they showed that puppet bush.

There aren't enough sexy puppets.

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>What if puppets were naughty and said the f-word a lot

No wonder this shit film was on the black list.

The We Hate Movies podcast did a terrific riffing on the film.

>Brian Henson was involved heavily
Thats the big issue. That aside, the movie was probably going to be serious but the studio demanded more humor fearing the noir/detective idea wouldn't work with audiences [remember kids, hollywood doesn't want experimental flicks, they want award winners or seat filler flicks] so they chose to go with "adult humor". You can even tell too that its a studio producer pushing this, all the jokes are low brow and immature.

Puppets are so creepy.

Melissa McCarthy

The Chinese.

Chinese have nothing to do with this picture you idiot

Melissa M is box office poison. The film was nothing but shitty sex jokes.

Two Chinese media companies are the main producers. There are others, but pretending otherwise makes you seem foolish.

what?
WHAT?
cancellin the download NOW

Puppet vag is a plot point though.

I only watched the trailer but the chick wasn't funny and the raunchy puppet stuff came off as trying too hard.

now all they do is make anti vaping commercials

i didnt know they dubbed wulin warriors into moon

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

Melissa McCarthy was involved in it.
It was a dumb gimmick that came out about 20-30 years too late.

>were at a peak during that time due to less uptight standards and no CG yet.
Also the fact that Jim Henson was still alive. If you look at any of the great puppetry from that decade, his name is probably attached.

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>shittiest puppeteer with no respect for his craft
>great puppetry

It aired on IFC? I thought it was Fox and later MTV

youtube.com/watch?v=pguhbmHKFl0

All they had to do was make a variety show.

it was originally fox

>patsy may
Excellent taste, user.

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youtube.com/watch?v=VXwzZoxgzjI

This is amazing! Thank you so much!

anything by the brothers chaps.

fuck I miss Homestar Runner.

There isn't even a new April Fool's short

I appreciate the puppeteer work more than the movie

The script was just weak

This puppet is too sexy.

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Agreed.

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when will Brian Henson stop being a massive fag and drop the shit we've been waiting for for over a decade? fuckin fraggle rock movie and labyrinth 2. actually why doesn't the asshole do much with his properties?

Shit taste.

When you step outside your father's shadow, then completely miss the step.

Sounds like someone's asking for more Patsy.

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Shadows of eagle cross the moon

youtube.com/watch?v=xl_NWjNpvM0💯

Is there an updated version of this? How come there's so little behind the scenes puppetry documentaries?
youtube.com/watch?v=1QOqk8RR_dY

youtu.be/cqU1asG__cY

Where would one get a torrent of this show?

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Anywhere animu torrents are found.

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>tfw I will never watch the TBS Puppet Up show
>mfw I have no face
How do I cope with lost media? Is it too late to kill myself?

You could have yourself taxidermied and turned into a human corpse puppet, paraded around and posthumously humiliated for your crimes against puppetry.

Or you could just continue to live your life. That's an option.

How does one even impregnate a puppet?

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If wood rocket taught me anything, puppet sex is and will always be a one sided pleasure. It really is just an overcomplicated hand job.

No point in Labyrinth 2 when Bowie is dead

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

Check out Blark and Son.
Also dabchick is based.

No idea, it was fucking great.

Everything

The problem was this film is it didn't know whether it wanted to be Meet the Feebles (or Let My Puppets Come), The Long Goodbye (or any Phillip Marlowe movie really) or Lethal Weapon but surprise it's really an unofficial sequel to The Heat sans Feig and Bullock so it kinda felt all over the place. I did like it somewhat tho despite that. Maybe without McCarthy it would've been better.

grand moff tarkin

>What went wrong?

They digitally edited the cumshot so that none of it got on the female puppet. If you buy a ticket for a puppet movie there had SURE AS FUCK BETTER be a puppet cumshot.

The actors are responisble for that mess. It was adlibed and they just decided to fill everything with dialog.

Melissa McCarthy can be a good actress but she's never been good for over the top humor like roles but almost no one is.

Diasgree. The script and director were garbage, but McCarthy was the only servicable actress in that group of losers.

>cool wine aunt
>screaming gorilla woman
>lol lesbian with the wackiy faces

These are not comedians. They are garbage.

Executive Meddling

Greg the Bunny handled puppets in the real world better over a decade ago.

Meet the Feebles handled raunchiness better years before that.

I think that's less a talent issue and more a studio one.

Melissa McCarthy keeps getting given the same kind of roles Chris Farley and Jack Black did, and Fat Person Falls Down movies are just a lot worse than they used to be, because everything is louder and goofier over time.

unfunny fat woman

Should've been a Netflix series.

They went with being dirty over being funny, same thing that American humour often does wrong.

I think she's pretty talented, but she needs to stop picking roles where the joke is that she's fat and unfuckable.

Not enough Sandra.
youtube.com/watch?v=Rbl9TrahsQk
So much deleted shit, we'll never know. Like they intentionally gave her hard nips in this scene. Why? Who knows, probably had something to do with her high libido.
youtube.com/watch?v=hehKVcU5Sk4

You can tell just by the pose she's unfunny.

>DUDE MY HYMEN LMAO

Fox was the sitcom with Seth Green, IFC was the series of movie parodies, and MTV was the Warren the Ape spinoff.

Was there any actual puppet nudity? Tits specifically.

>funny as hell
>creative
>vegan
I love Randy but him shoving his vegan bullshit into the show dragged it way down for me. I get that as a vegan he literally can not help mentioning it at least once an hour, but fuck man.

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My mom does for some bizarre reason. Even owns Tammy on Bluray.

...

But then you'd just be bitching about how they ripped of Team America.

Do you really want Team America-style puppet sex? Or do you just want something to bitch about?

Brian is a hack. Whaddasurprise!!

>solid work
>every joke is "lol I'm fat"

Holy shit, now that I think about it, there's isn't any nudity whatsoever. Not even an nipple. Brian is shit.

With their dick, duh

Bet you weren't bitching when Paul Blart mania was sweeping the nation. Its ok to not want to fuck an actress. It's liberating in a way. Just pretend she's a dude if that'll help, faggot

The humor was bad and the story was boring

>screaming gorilla woman
I think I might be the only one here who actually enjoys Leslie Jones kicking through walls and ooga booga-ing a path of terror through things. It's funny to me. Also kind of novel to have modern humor use "scary black person" as an honest punchline.

>Firefighter and Dalmatian
>Debatable, but Sandra's perky, puppet nips
>A purple bag appears on screen.

we were promised a hard boiled detective noir story with puppets and in the end what we got was seth green level writer writing a detective movie with puppets that wasn't even the funny level of a decent robot chicken sketch

This would've worked better as an Adult Swim special. Unfortunately those dummies so desperately wanted to see puppet legs.

I’ll go with the obvious Coraline/ParaNorman/Kubo

You act like this is the first time you’ve seen someone use kino you faggot. Get over it

Yes I was retard, fuck off. King of Queens also blew.

No you weren't. I was there.

Watching you.

Hm, unfortunate.

Plus unlike Happytime, Puppet Rapist is actually hilarious.

youtube.com/watch?v=-DD0pBgotC0&list=PL382D7CF8DBA0512B

Melissa McCarthy

Well obviously a noid can't get a puppet pregnant.

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I wish I could still 'like' posts.

the fucking clown generation that believes its epic to still buy legos at 35

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(Eyes widen)
Jesus, user, you're not suggesting we STEAL the Legos, are you?

But Happytime Murders was a bust.
Manchildren didn't like it either, grandpa.

Can it be sexy puppet time now?

Puppets aren't for sexy.

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Then... why'd you post that sexy puppet?

Don't lewd princess.

Elmo is a fetus?

I feel like this is an attempt at reverse psychology.

Nah, he's a abortion that survived.

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Elmo definitely has legs.

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There's puppet cum but no puppet tits? Even Crank Yankers had puppet tits.

Even Howard the Duck had tits.

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If you ARE going to do raunchy puppets you gotta go to the other extreme with it like Team America: World Police (Which is hella dated now lol). It's absolutely absurd and unapologetically so, so it works.

>Spy is legit funny
You got one marginally ok movie versus an entire career of exceedingly shitty movies. She's essentially a female Kevin James.

>but saddled with a shitty script
Wasn't most of it improv though?

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Did someone say "Skeeter?"

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Hmm, black on orange? This'll be like Halloween.

Favorite puppeteer? Post some of their works.
youtube.com/watch?v=SeT7Li_Nm98

I'm thinking the porn industry. Here me out, RP would be god like. Brian needs to cash in on those fuckable puppets, stat.

Skeeter? I hardly know her!

i cant believe dingdong punched veronica and moved to new york!

Both versions. This movie was trying to rip off GtheB and Meet The Feebles hard, and in the end, had no idea what it was trying to do besides that.