What would House think of Steven?

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He’s got a whole martyr thing going on

Bump

He'd try and Steal Steven's spit for his leg and/or to Cure Wison's cancer

>Refuses to just ask steven for some healing spit because Pride
>Wacky shenanigans ensue as House tries to steal Steven's spit

“What a delightful, cheery child.
I hate him.
Patient appears to have a foreign body lodged in his abdomen, cheap quartz I’d say.
Why haven’t one of you idiots scheduled surgery?
Am I the only god damn doctor in this building?Immediate extraction, general anaesthetic.
soon as possible,
I don’t want to hear another fucking song.
I’ll be over here frowning and Prescribing myself enough painkillers to down a fully grown bull walrus.”
Something like that I’d say.

Ah the time it really was lupus was great

Given house's obsession with finding any way to treat his leg pain he would probably be fairly interested in Steven's healing power. It would also greatly irritate House that an annoying child has a power that would invalidate his entire career, and all the power has been used for is to heal some lesbian rocks, some kid's eye sight, and a broken leg.

Steven is really kind of fucked up. He's been raised as both coddled and neglected by three aliens who want to keep him in perpetual childhood. And because of how his universe works, Steven is never forced to confront and overcome his childish notions.

Really, what the gems do to him is pretty fucked up.

Christ, when you put it like that it is fucked. How can your raise a kid to be both completely sheltered and in near constant danger.

A kid. Who is way too happy from a broken home. A deadbeat dad who isn't around to supervise him.
Lives with his dead mom's friends who claim to be aliens, and convinced him he's an alien with a piece of plastic super glued to his stomach.
I want someone, I don't care who, to investigate where he lives. Scan his head for a tumor. I'll be in my office avoiding the rest of you.

How was he coddled? Did they not make him do his chores? Seems like being put in danger is the exact opposite of coddling.

They treated him like a baby, kept him away from normal human institutions, kept him away from Greg, etc.

Emotionally coddled, physically endangered... literally the worst possible combination. They created a teenager who acts like a child and who is also constantly in danger.

You can’t send a hybrid alien to school, people would find out he is half alien. And he went out regularly enough to know the townspeople

>You can’t send a hybrid alien to school, people would find out he is half alien
It's not like it's a secret.

To a small town full of people who couldn’t care less whether he’s an alien, put him in a government institution, well you get the government involved

Crystallization within his body that would ultimately pierce his innards

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And yet HE has a GF. What's your excuse?

sounds like the premise of a KC Green comic

>kept him away from normal human institutions, kept him away from Greg, etc.
And yet he has total freedom to associate. He sees his dad all the time, and has meaningful social relations with the townies.

Does Beach City even have a school?

What about Cox? If Steven was an intern under his guidance, he would probably use him a machine gun to save people, Kelso would charge an enormous amount for Steven's spit

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Cox would destroy Steven's ego, Kelso would manipulate him.

Um, sweetie, Connie is just a friend. Women and men can be friends.

One near the town at least, Connie goes to school and manages to spend a lot of time with Steven

Are you trying to recreate that time some guy said that Steven will lead an army and the people complaining won't only for everyone to point out Steven's a cartoon character?

Season 1 was basically about building that up and slowly shattering it over time. By the fourth season he's pretty much fed up with their coddling shit and calls them out on it. Most recent season is them functioning as a proper, equal family.

And friends develop romantic feelings for each other which steven and connie clearly have.

probably try to get him to heal people

He might like Steven’s musical skills, kid’s kind of a savant

>A kid was admitted to the emergency room for severe emotional stress and hallucinations
>he likes rocks, and has an extensive rock collection in his room; even had a gem lodged in his belly button at the time of admission
>Despite being fourteen his physical and mental growth has been stunted to that of a ten year old
>Lives in a house with a deadbeat dad and three unknown women who are usually away for long periods of time or locked In their rooms the mother split during child birth
The kid is borderline diabetic maybe he has a neurological disorder that is affecting his glands?
>but that doesn't explain the stunted growth...
>It's a case of metal/lead poisoning, kids love putting things in their mouth, especially as a way of coping with daddy splitting up with mommy; and with this kids extensive collection he's probably sucked down enough lead/mercury to put a Chinese toy company out of buisness
>run some blood tests on him and see what you find out.

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Steven is an even bigger pussy than JD, he wouldn't survive one season.

Reading this in his voice made me amused and giggle, honestly.

I wonder how house will stand up against pearls nagging

Let me put it to you this way: Imagine the Cat Fingers incident, but with a school full of screaming children. That's what you risk by sending Steven to school.

autism (the second worst kind)
adhd
hints of psychopathy (prioritizing trivial and superficial things over lives and etc)
genuine inability to comprehend the concepts of responsibility and self control

his physical condition, ie being part (((gem))) has no connotations here whatsoever there fore its 100% a behavioral and mental problem.

also, absentee father dead real mom who is also himself and 3 gay moms. one of which is obsessed with his mom/himself

that boy just wont grow up right,i tell you hwat

>that time steven was getting old and didn't know what was going on
That'd be a great one for House.

gimme an honest opinion doc, is it terminal?

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That's a good question, like you never see any of the show's kids going to school except for Connie. I dont think any of them in Beach city go to school, they all work at their family stores, which I'm sure is breaking some child labor laws with Peedee operating a deep fryer at his age.
Jesus, the people of this town are asking for lawsuits.

Only sexist ship Steven and Connie, besides, I’m sure Connie is a lesbian and Steven is gay. :3

Probably insert a few bird jokes then maybe a cold remark about her love for Rose

>I don't have magical lesbian rock powers and mind control?
Let's face it, Connie stuck with Steven in the first place because her life was mind-numbingly boring. If Steven wasn't GemJesus with his 3+ apostles, Connie wouldn't have given Steven the time of day. She even threw a shitfit that she couldn't go on a magical space journey because she doesn't see Steven as a true friend/boyfriend, he's just a tool for her wanderlust/rebellious streak to piss off her parents (especially her mom with her Tiger parent bs).

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Better question, instead of Greg Universe, Greg House is Steven’s dad, what exactly changes?

lapis