How to Crouch your Hidden Dragon 3

Imagine the guano

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Did Astrid accidently luck into the best ending?

no luck involved
She's committed to a good relationship

I keep seeing this astrid pig porn shit being mentioned for like 5 years now but noone has yet to link any so I have never seen it.

But think about how fucking good hiccup turned out.

The pursuit of getting laid is a major motivation. It used to be that a man had to be respectable (like becoming a productive member of society) in order to have a good chance of attracting a woman into a long-term relationship. But nowadays with hookup culture and apps, that's going to the wayside.

This is what happens when you take things on a case by case basis instead of blindly following the pack. You end up with best boy.

Some of us that have given up on human contact altogether

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Getting married is a responsibility

>start dating town weirdo
>he's a bit of a looser, but way better than the alternatives
>figure you can polish him up a bit
>years pass
>matures like fine wine

I don't get the Netflix joke

Also the chief's son.

Even if he wasn't, being the blacksmith's apprentice puts him way ahead of everyone else since you always need a blacksmith and they always have work/demand. Actually, Hiccup should be fucking ripped working at a smithy for that long.

He should also be pretty agile and flexible from all the aerial acrobatics.

They always make terrible live action versions of stuff.

Why would a 20-something know the rigors their grandfather went through to court a mate?

Death Note

Im so pumped for Avatar

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Cause he's good with his hands

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I mean, Astrid wore her kransen (Viking maiden band) the whole series, so I don't think they were fooling around. Then again, she's wearing it again in the epilogue after she's been married, so it might just be a headband and she and Hiccup have already made the sex

Some dude named Momo comissioned tens of thousands of dollars of Astrid pig porn from an artist named Polyle.

Not just Polyle - dozens of artists. No one's been able to come up with a full estimate (not surprising considering doing so would require combing through gigs of guro). It's fucking baffling though - some rich prick spent tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars just to ruin one Yea Forums flavor of the month, simply because they could.

Wasn't Shadman one of the few to refuse?

Has he finally got bored of it, or have I just got better at ignoring it?

I dunno, but thankfully so far (knock on wood) there hasn't been a sudden appearance of more torture porn since the third film came out like there was with the second.

Hopefully he went bankrupt.

Now let's never speak of him again and go back to posting wholesome Hiccstrid family stuff

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There's always pig contact..

yeah, bizarro world.

Agreed

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I'll fuck yer mum

I thought it was wonderbread guy he told to fuck off, never heard about him saying no to astrid/pigs
It's right up his alley

To be fair, he barely knows her and he spent most of his life thinking she was dead.

Too many feels

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Astrid is 5' 9"?
Superior nordic genes.

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wait, is this film out now?

Where have you been?

>superior nordic genes
A bit redundant isn't it?

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>5' 9"
>Is she a womanlet?

No, but they eventually did after a proper marriage. Their kids are adorbs.

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>>Try to find comfy smutty fanfiction of these two
>>Find literally thousands

Feels good man

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Agreed. There's tons of it.

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>mfw grandfather likes telling the story of how he met grandmother

Apparently, she dropped a penny. He picked it up for her.

It is, depending on who is telling the story, affectionately described as either the worst penny ever picked up, or the best.

Do they have names?

Someone called the daughter Zephyr, which is deviantart OC-tier but if true the son is most likely named Shadow or Sephiroth.

Jesus that's retarded. Even completely random Scandinavian names would be better.

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Obviously Toothless and Astrid can get their revenge by cucking their former partners with each other, like in the lemon I'm writing.

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That's fucking adorable user. Made my day.

My grandparents were childhood sweethearts. My GREATgrandparents met at a murder trial. GG-Pa was a juror. GG-Ma was a witness. GG-Pa met her after the trial and asked her why she kept staring at him. She thought his bolo tie was the stupidest thing she'd ever saw, and asked him out for a soda.

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Does anyone already ship them?

Berkian tradition holds that stupid names scare awsy trolls. Hence a girl named after the wind, and a boy named Nothing.

Go away Twinpines

This art is cooler than the movie

Really wish there was more art of them hanging out as a family. They look wholesome as fuck

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I hope so too.

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is it me or does he look like an old Luke?
>Great Grampa edition

I can see it

the fucks a human?

I'd like to have sex some day. Everyone"s making such a big deal of it. I would like to know what it's like

It's the bees knees, user.

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It's pretty cool. It's infinitely better if you care about the person you're with. There's a big difference between random bullshit and true love-making.

As long as you keep trying and don't fall into the incel mindset, it's statistically extremely likely to happen.

I thought that was the after credits scene showing the elderly Hiccup.

so has anyone addressed race mixing? or are people still laughing over the heterosexual agenda thing from last year.

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>or are people still laughing over the heterosexual agenda thing from last year.
>heterosexual agenda
Did I miss something?

>so has anyone addressed race mixing
It's not that big a deal since Toothless is the last Night Fury and there are plenty of Light Furies.

imagine pic related but 25x more backlash

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You can breed a horse with a donkey and get a mule, a superior, but sterile, animal.

If I was the last man on earth but I was gay, I'd still try to save my species. Even if all I do is beat off into a cup.

There are gay pandas who refuse to breed, and everybody hates them.

I kind of remember it. It was so fucking stupid.

nah Nuffink will end up having a long and complicated relationship with Fishlegs & Ruffnut's oldest daughter, that will eventually culminate in Snu-Snu

You mean Fishlegs and Heather, right?

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It was an alt right message movie. Different races have to live apart, and you should get married and have lots of kids.

>If I was the last man on earth but I was gay,
What would be the point if there were no other men to be gay with?

They have to teach incels somehow

there will be after the new generation is born, if you dont mind an age gap

I'm not attracted to women? The idea of having a harem literally the size of a planet wouldn't appeal to me in the slightest. At best it would be grim duty. At worst a nightmare.

just got to paheal
its full of that shit.

Was "Race to the Edge" canon, though?

I just checked, and came to the realisation that the psychotic fuck has been at it for nearly a decade.

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According to DeBois, mostly.

I don't know why Hiccup was treated like shit in the first movie. I'm guessing the Vikings had a honour system where it was considered cowardly to shot down a dragon at a safe distance, instead of risking life and limb by attacking one head one.

Also why the fuck did people disrespect the chiefs son?

IIRC, it was because most of his inventions just didn't work, and tended to fuck something up in the process. He also tended to fuck up publicly enough that Stoick couldn't brush it off.

Even Shadman has standards. I remember he told one commissioner to fuck off because his commission involved a bunch of starving people being worked to death. Nothing sexual about it.

It had a bread theme to it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I think there's a screencap.

His inventions could only be hastily tested during raids and couldn't really be set up properly.

The ending made it extremely obvious that little blond boy and mostly white dragon are going to have an arranged marriage to unite the Empire of Man and the Kingdom of Dragons at long last. Yes.

>Also why the fuck did people disrespect the chiefs son?
Are you huge and heavily bearded?
No?
Then fuck off.
>20 thousand years later
7ft behemoths rampaging all over the joint

That's actually pretty good user, i'm 6'1, but i don't like to date a girl with my same height,i prefer girls around 5'7 or 5'8 and most tall guys i know tell me the same

We must secure the existence of our people, and a future for viking children.

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dindu nuffink

Viking Meritocracy. Being the Chief's son doesn't make you a prince. Hiccup was also a scrawny coward

Murrlogic

isn't it tradition in his family to call every other son hiccup and stoick?

Hiccup just had a different mentality to the rest of the viking idiots on Berk. The dragons were slowly winning as well, so in the end his different approach to things saved them.

What a fucking legend

Well it doesn’t do anything super daring and uses its ending arc to tie everything up to work into the movie.
Besides the implication that Valka’s
Bewilderbeast isn’t much older than a year or so by the time of the movie it mostly works

>Hiccup was also a scrawny coward

Hiccup wanted to kill dragons with the rest of the teens, no one wanted to entertain his unorthodox methods.

>It had a bread theme to it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
No, but I'm instantly reminded of a fapfic I read on /d/ years ago about a guy using bread to blackmail a girl into sex.

He's history's greatest monster!

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this is the only kiss they have out of the entire series?

That's from the series? I thought it was someone's shitty SFM vid.

>I'm instantly reminded of a fapfic I read on /d/ years ago about a guy using bread to blackmail a girl into sex
What is wrong with people???

link?

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I'll hide my dragon in her, if you know what I mean.

It's from the CN series, which was kinda cheap. The Netflix one is better

Zephyr (the girl) and Nuffink (the boy).

No, Hiccup is how you call the runt of the family in their culture, the series says there was another Hiccup in their family line that just like him was the weakest in streght

technically there were two Hiccups before our Hiccup, since Hiccup is the third person in his family with the name

You're right, i suppose there always a runt every few generations, same way, a giant like Stoick is born

The people of japan need to see this film.

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I've heard that in Japan only the first film was realeased in theaters and it did so bad, that the sequels were direct to DVD only.
It was in one of those westaboo thread.

I wonder why. Artstyle too unique? Bad dub?

If it is not Disney, they won't watch it.

>Blocks your argument

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that's not really fair. the japs fucking love spiderman. it hits every fucking button for them.

pastebin.com/01unPkp2

Which ones?

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I work at a movie theater and two days ago some dude got caught jerking off watching how to train your dragon 3.

I wasn't there that day, so I don't know if it was the movie, or if he is just a more ordinary pervert.

pic unrelated

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I love how this is done right after a guy fucking fell into a volcano, someone that Hiccup had more of a relationship with then 'flat out evil'

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well the race mixing thing was kinda the only option Toothless had. I feel bad cause most of his night fury traits are probs gonna disappear within 3 or 4 generations, if the kids are even fertile.

Nothing particularly sexy in the movie. Guy probably got off on doing it in the open around children.

Also based Chac. Got into Mayan/Aztec myth through the Vampire Plagues books. If anything, Camazotz was toned down.

No? The Movie writers said they consider none of the TV show canon. Its never mentioned in their movies, even if it is technically canon cause corporate says so.

wouldn't have been winning for long if the dragon hunting empire had started moving without Hiccup and Toothless. Its amazing to me that all these dragon trappers and literally thousand-ship fleets as we see in race ot the edge all exist and still there are dragon problems. I mean they do say that Berk is extremely isolated compared to most of the world, but in 400 years you'd expect outside politics to have affected them somewhat, no?

Does it matter?

This, in the last episode he develops the crush he has on Ruffnut in the movie and seemingly forgets all about Heather

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Who needs an Astrid when you have a Toothless, Hiccup is worse off at the end of the third movie

Pregnant Astrid pics when?
Cute, not lewd

>not calling his first son Stoick
What a shit son

I fucking hate it when characters in fiction name their kids after people they've lost. Harry Potter was the breaking point and now I can't stand it at all.

thinking of getting into this franchise, only the netflix seasons are streaming anywhere? is it ok to just watch them or do I need to watch the first 2 seasons

Just watch Race to the Edge, you won't miss anything. First two seasons were even lower budget than RttE and had pretty formulaic plotlines. RttE at least has some absolute madman villains and pretty good character moments.

>Be rich and successful
>Do degenerate shit online
What were you expecting? Its like that successful Korean surgery doctor who just commissions star fox porn all day.

Spiderman literally was the first and created the entire sentai genre for Japan. Every kamen rider/power ranger is technically a spiderman knockoff.

>6 seasons

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Don't despair user. The season intros and finales are a must, but just pick and choose episodes that interest you in between.
Also fair warning: there is a musical episode.

Thanks for your advice mate.

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/d/ is fucking weird

>ruffnut cuts her hair a little over half way through season two
>her hair is back to normal in the next episode

Not cool, CN.

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Don't name your children after dead loved ones. Makes you sad every time you look at them. Named my boy after my brother, and after a year we decided on a nickname instead.

Ah yes. "White dragon, black dragon kryptonite."

Looking forward to getting some deleted scenes with the bluray, the third movie severely lacked runtime for the separation

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Fuck that, I need a deleted scene that salvages the villain. Separation was two minutes of underwhelming shit, but the villain made the entire plot pants on head retarded with his incompetence. He never even figured out there existed a giant cave full of dragons. Shit son, for someone who supposedly keikaku'd everything dude was completely clueless.

How was he supposed to know if you sailed off the edge of the world you’d find dragons.

I dunno man, maybe interrogate his prisoner?
He died fully believing the migration route was what it was because herp derp Night Furies don't like cold. What kind of hunter pays this little attention to what the prey is doing?

Well they can’t all be masterminds as brilliant as Viggo Grimborn, the arch nemesis so worthy Hiccup honored his memory by redesigning inferno to look more like his sword.

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Is that a long lost member of In Extremo?

But seriously, think about it for a second. Grimmel only managed to find them through blind luck. Had the edge of the world not been to the west, he would have lost track of them by the end of day two, because he was tracking them with nothing but wild guesses, that actually happened to be all wrong. And even with his luck he would have lost them if Valka didn't go flying into his camp, and Ruffnut wasn't left behind to show him where to find New Berk.

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So Grimmel was Anti-Hiccup from what I saw?

Are those the thing with two legs?

hhhnnnngggggg

so has literally every villain past the first movie

>so has literally every villain past the first movie
True

>there is a musical episode
Is it any good? I love a good musical.
But I also enjoy the pain of a bad musical, as long as I'm watching alone. Which is always.

>son looks like mom, daughter looks like dad

I don't know why but I love this trope

It's not really a musical, they find a dragon that uses songs to communicate and there's just a short sequence of them trying to sing different songs to calm it down

What kind of dragon is the best? Inb4 Nightfury

Damn, I want this so bad bros...

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It was satire on the complaints people make about gays in media

I really like the Timberjack
Dat wing to body ratio

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Oh dats hot

He looks massive

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All these years I lived a lie.

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I enjoyed the Skrill, just a great big stun-gun asshole of a dragon.

Patch from Dawn of New Riders.

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Aw... damn. He too smol to ride

Do people actually think that the pig Astrid guy doesn't waifu Astrid? You guys don't understand the mind of a sadist fetishist.

That's no way to treat your own waifu mate

Hello ladies.

Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me.
Sadly, he isn't me.
But if he stopped all of... *this*... and started acting like a viking he could *seem* like he's me.

Look down, back up, where are you?
You're on a longboat with the viking your man could be like.

What's that in your hand, back at me, I have it.
It's a battleaxe, forged from the finest steel.
Look again, the axe is now a cup of bracing yaknog.

Anything is possible when your man's a viking and not *that*.

I'm on a Thunder Drum.

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Dragons poop diamonds though.

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Do you understand sadism? No fetishist, artist or patron, will waste money and time on a girl they don't like. Period.

I think if I hated a character, I would want to ruin the character for other people
A lot of people are super into interracial, so we'd just get a bunch of BLACKED or even FURIED memes

But guro and bestiality is another thing I legit forget if some of its guro, I might be making that up

A ridiculous amount of it is guro.

No, you literally have no idea how fetishes work. It's you're all a bunch of dumbass sheltered babies.

This is literally how mind break, rape, vore, guro and literally every single fetish you can think of works.

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shes nordic, shell leave him for a nigger

me too. it fucking hurts man, im too autistic to find love.

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Thank you user. I hope you have a nice day.

No problem

I want to bang a white dragon.

Ruffnut's hairy legs

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>Fishlegs' face

could someone post links to this shit, cause theres a lot of hype but I can't find it anywhere

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To be honest, I would actually watch the Netflix version, I like axolotls.

Well he end up marrying her

Just Google rule 34 astrid you lazy newfag

Don't give up compadré. Get some confidence, wash your balls everyday, and treat the opposite sex like they're a human being. You'll find love eventually. Just have realistic standards. That 8/10 babe is only gonna be hot for another 10 years, but her personality will still be shit. That chubby cashier at Gamestop with the pokemon earrings is single.

It really felt like there was a good bit cut, or bits of old drafts left in.

>Stoick know Grimmel
>Grimmel implied a history with Berk when the village was abandoned

>Night furies can't stand the cold
>The climax has them flying between icebergs for one scene then suddenly they're back at berk

>Villain says he's going to take it slow
>His next attack is almost immediate

I don't get it.

She wants the BHC

He's probably just a regular pervert. I worked at a movie theater in high school. The ushers would catch people having sex all the time. We'd also find used condoms all the time when we were cleaning the theaters afterwards.

Watched a guy finger his wife next to their kids at a showing of Toy Story 3. People do nasty shit when they think they can get away with it

akchukly I'm only lazy

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Yeah, I'm willing to bet they spent a ton of time on that extra bit of run time. I'm kinda glad they did cause the movie was fast enough without being 15 minutes shorter.

>women used to be forced to get with betabux like myself now I'm mad that they can earn a wage and continue to fuck chad
Git gud son

This

Genetics are a race to breed. If you wanna sit on your ass and whine about the game not being fair, your only legacy will be as a fossil

What happens after the third movie's epilogue? Do Hiccup and Toothless keep visiting or was that a last flight?

Sinner! did a good one.

Maybe the world was finally ready for dragons. it only took 10 years

I don't see any reason why visits can't start picking up, though I also don't see the need for a 10 year break. Or them separating at all really.

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Sinner does fucking amazing work, it's just a shame he's into so many fucking weird ass fetishes.

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The director wanted bittersweet for the sake of bittersweet so I wouldn't be surprised if he declared that their last flight was a final goodbye. I already find it very out of character that they don't at least try to visit less often than once a year.

Same. The faces are adorable, but I'm not into fisting, bdsm, anal, or cuckshit

On a scale of 1-10 how good was Gobber as a homosexual character

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Wasn't there a porn webcomic about an evil dominatrix training Astrid or am I remembering it wrong?

There are various comics like that. You're probably thinking about one that is like a big crossover thing, also featuring Korra and other girls.

If I had Momo money I'd comission a Between Friends style epic from Sinner with Astrid and Hiccup. Just wholesome lovemaking.

9/10

Yep. He's not loud and proud, but it's still part of who he is. Loved him putting the moves on Eret son of Eret

Fuck, why would you even put that idea out there?? Just tormenting us with something wonderful we'll never happen.

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It was about willing to bear a guy's children. Or more fulfilling thr natural union of man and woman. That is more than a simple impregnater/impregnatee relationahip but the partnership and interplay between a man and his wife. Astrid is obviously a stronger will than hiccup but willing goes into the subservient role because she loves him and knows he is a good leader if held back by his own doubt. Same with toothless learning how nightfuries do.

Its a surprise it wasn't decried for promoting such conservstive values as monogomy being a bigger concept then who you screw.

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unbearably cute

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y'know I never noticed he was gay until someone mentioned it on here. I always thought he was referring to the fact he had no dick. I mean the line was ad lib I think so it might have been at an earlier stage.

Yep. And it's historically accurate. Vikings were cool with gays and really big on personal hygiene

I think some of Freyr's sons were born of manass

well, no shit. they have two kids in the epilogue didn't they?

also, wtf is up with the daughter looking like father/son looking like mother trope that this film has going on?

Hey that's a good trope

b u m p

Assuming Berk is in the real world and not it's own setting, what historically relevant group would benefit the most from dragons?

I'm thinking Roman Empire

>All previous Alphas shown in the movies have been absolute units like bewilderbeast and red death
>Toothless goes to the hidden world for the first time, following Lightfury who has either never been there or been away for an unspecified amount of time
>Suddenly the two are royalty/alphas in the hidden world, even absolute unit dragon bends the knee
God this movie was rushed

Considering in the novels there's one book where the Roman Empire actually invades Berk, it would be a shame if they didn't try to adapt it considering the wealth of potential.

so did snotlout fuck his mom or....

Dragon aerial supremacy renders castle walls useless. A big one can drop a battalion right in the courtyard. Air-based trade routes. Dragon mail. Dragon skin armor.

nah, probably found some other widow