Superman #9 Storytime

>no Kyle
its shit

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>Sook gets top artist billing for the first Bendis Action TP by being part of the DC MASTER CLASS

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>starting out with a random dream/nightmare
Okay?

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>Jersey City Version Of My Dad

Well somebody's bitter that Kamala made more of an impact in the Marvel Universe than his Donut Steels

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Is Ultraman Irish now? Fuck Bendis

a bit harsh on Bizzaro boy

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At least he remembered E3 Lois is Superwoman.

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Man this book is shit. At least Action is readable.

Be dis would be better if he didn’t touch the family and just did his own detective Superman book. Or even better, they gave him his own elseworld like they did with Max Landis.

Thanks for reading. Support the Official Release at your Local Comic Shop.

Grim Knight:

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Are we sure Buckley didn't ghostwrite this issue?

This was absolutely terrible to read. It really is one of the worst books on the market right now. How it keeps getting published is beyond me. Even if you ignore all the blatant continuity errors, it still doesn't make the book remotely better.

Uuh why did Lois make that face? WTF?

what the fuck is that expression supposed to convey? Lois suddenly farted?

I’ll give Liefeld some credit, this cover is much better than his last one (although Superman’s face looks weird)

This is some kind of prank page. Gotta be.

>Or even better, they gave him his own elseworld like they did with Max Landis.

This is what I've been saying since they announced Bendis would be writing at DC. Bendis would be better off developing an Elseworld where Superman deals with street level stuff (it'd be sort of a callback to the early Golden Age Superman).

Bendis this is fucking horrible why did you do this?

>im not going to hit something im saving it

motherfucker, you went and hit something last issue. Does Bendis have fucking Alzheimers or something?

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Isn't Jon still ten in his flashbacks, why does he already look 14?

Awful

Bendis is a lazy faggot for using the crime syndicate this early in his run

This dialogue is shit

Yeah he at least puts some effort in Action Comics even if it isn't that good of a comic. In Superman it's the same as his GotG comic which is him just fucking wasting time and getting from point A to point B with a bunch of filler.

wall of text that cover other wall of text..Bendis fetish.

Surprisingly this isn't the most forgetful thing he's written, that goes to Civil War II #1, these happened not between issues, but within a few pages.

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Sorry, Bendis. But you can’t outdo Tom King, the new King of WORDSWORDSWORDS.

yes time to /ss/ to the death
I love it this is prime doujin material

Borderline feels like rape, not just because of Ultraman being an abusive creepy fuck but I too feel violated after having read this.

Honey Bendis not giving a fuck

No he's asking like a drug addict would. I mean there's a lot to criticize, but he really wants that Kryptonite.

post yfw you finished reading this issue.

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No, read it again he says to Jon that there's no sun in there and that's why Ultraman feels amazing.

>lets have a ten-year-old boy physically and mentally tortured for several years
Jeez, DC really is obsessed with giving everyone PSTD. Whose next? Captain Carrot and the Zoo crew?

>imagine a Superman/Batman crossover 4 parter with King/Bendis outdoing eachother and Janin/Mack not needing to trace as much as usual

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Last time I saw ultraman and superwoman he was broken and she gave birth to darkseid I think? What happened after that? How’d they get back? Or was that done away with with rebirth

The Crime syndicate died in Forever Evil, Superwoman is supposed to be in jail and yes, her baby got hijacked by Darkseid's persona.
Bendis just ignores the fact that Green Lantern has to be dead for Jessica to exist.

I think the perfect explanation is that Jon got wormholed to the past on Earth 3, before Forever Evil happened.

Jon was in a traumatic situation but he feels like he's holding up OK but I attribute that to Bendis being a lazy writer.

But you bet your ass Tom King will do something with this if he ever gets his hands on Jon and we'll all hate it.

Owlman and Power Ring were dead too. Bendis don't give a shit about continuity.

that's also why Ultraman says one day, he's gonna make Superman's Earth his

That doesn't make sense either since it's established that Earth-3 invading Earth-Prime was the first time it occurred in the N52 timeline.

This just feels wrong.

It's part of the merging between Superbro and Superman that happened during Rebirth.
It restored even Ultraman's memories

>complains about Ultraman talking too much with an even bigger wall of text
Really, Bendis?

My best hope there's more time travel than we think is going on here and the young Jon is still in space in main universe and will be rescued from Jor-El preventing this mess from happening.

In fairnessI think they time traveled to earth 3 before any of this happened.

There has to be some time bullshit going on.

So, uh, do they address the fact that all these characters and this entire earth died pretty inequivocally just a few years ago?

Being a Marvelfag, as much as I enjoy a friendly rivalry with the DCucks, not even you deserve this. I hope you manage to contain Bendis to his OCs as soon as possible, so you can delete them in the next reboot.

First he has one daughter in one reality that Krypton was saved and now in this dream.. another beautiful daughter?

Stop doing this DC.. I always wanted one superman daughter.. But when you made the son you made that impossible..

I don't give a shit about his OC's like that Naomi girl, I just want Jon de-aged and reset. Another reboot would likely wipe Jon from existence entirely.

Jon can have a younger sister. And I want her to be named Cir-El.

Bendis and King pounding those nails into DC Comics's coffin ....Dan ' The Giggler" DiDio needs to get dragged out of the business

Well, that's exactly how someone speaks while having their head crushed.

So Bendis self insert is Ultra Man?

WTF is up with rule 63 Jay Garrick?

>Support the Official Release
Never

We know it was just a dream sequence, but apparently it was also just a tease to fuck with fans. Because baiting fans of other characters will make this trash heap of a story better...

This cover sucks just because of what's on it.

This looks even worse full size than in the thumbnail.

What's going on here?

this art is not up to Reis' usual ability

What the fuck is even happening?

Would you really feel the need to give it your 100% for a fucking Bendis story?

This page is literally describing Bendis' writing style.

So, this confirms what we've suspected all along, right? That Bendis has literally ZERO self-awareness?

THIS IS THE ONLY POST NEEDED IN THE ENTIRE THREAD

LITERALLY /THREAD

Oh hey, she finally called him Smallville. Bendis does listen.

Why does Liefeld get varient cover work?

By all accounts he's a really nice guy. There's also the fact that he cofounded Image with Jim Lee, so I'd guess Lee hooks him up with DC work from time to time.

Post Crisis Earth 3 Ultraman never met Superman

Superwoman was vaporized by Grail

Ultra man points out that he wants to kick Superman ass

It's really unattractive art and it doesn't matter if it's Bendis, his name will go on it, if he had any self-respect, he should care for that reason alone.

Di Dio is stupid but won't sign his check until he turns a script in?

Garrick is trans now

I think he was supposed to age in the volcano, but someone messed up so he aged between issues.

Nah, Bendis is outright ignoring that story. Note that Ultraman talks about facing Superman many times, something that never happened in the New 52. Superman also doesn't seem surprised by them being alive.

He watched the cartoon and decided Ultraman should have a Jersey accent.

Fuck off Ennis.

I feel like my brain is melting from the sheer stupidity of the writing. I need to take a break to get rid of the metaphysical brain freeze.

to be fair earth 3 has died and comeback before, any competent writer can take up this mess and fix it later once Bendis had his fun.

spiderverse made Miles way more popular than Kamala ever was, not that Bendis had anything to do with it though.

Er... what?

Fuck off Lois you had Mazahs' bastard kid

Oh man

>finally get shirtless Jon
>it's in this shitty comic

What the crap?

Why did he say "Jimmy" after the dream?

With each issue DC inches closer to an early grave, and fan hatred of Bendis grows.

Fuck this, where’s the Wonder Twin story time?

What is that image about. I haven't had my cofffee yet and can't figure it out

He's made fun of his own writing style (or at least people making fun of it) before. It's not that he has zero self awareness. It's that he doesn't give a shit. This is him taunting you.

Yeah Earth-3 is supposed to be destroyed by the Anti-Monitor. I don't think it's weird that it would have reformed after Metal, but they shouldn't have re-used the New 52 designs if this wasn't a continuation of their Forever Evil - Darkseid War story. It was kinda obvious before but this means that the DW cliffhanger with the Moebius chair on the moon will never be followed up. Cross that one off the Rebirth checklist I guess.

I thought she was Mary Marvel.

That's just the Crisis on 2 Earths movie. This is the dominatrix Lois Lane

Bendis really is a cunt, isn’t he? Even more than Slott it seems, who openly shat on Spider-Man at Ben’s bachelor party in the F4 wedding issue because Spencer is doing well.

So first Clark and Lois ditch Jon with his unhinged grandpa. Then his grandpa ditches him with his alternate evil parents. And Jon spends the remainder of his childhood being tortured in solitary confinement in a volcano.....how does this kid not hate his parents and shouldn’t he have a bunch of abandonment issues? Man remember when stories about the Kents had heart? Now they are all shells of their former selves.

Maybe it’s a dream?

Jersey always got shat on

>Uh Lois sorry, I'm ok, I'm just gonna exposition you shit you already know in a way that takes more time than it looks like

last thread I said Jon was gonna probably get raped by Superwoman (his mom). Now looks like from his dad too

Holy Shit

This is Bendis.jpg

Bendis just described his entire career for us

Did I miss an issue between them talking on the rooftop in front of the janitors and them ending up in the Fortress?

This is the worst page that I've ever read and you can't change my mind

There was an issue between those but it didn't do anything with the janitors who saw them if you're wondering about that.

Reis still tracing DAZ models I see

>when the best part of this issue was a Liefeld variant cover

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let's be honest, we dont come these threads for bendis fine craft, we come to see eachother react to it

>Bendis just described his entire career for us
Bendis is just gloating at this point. He's raping the Superman fandom while softly whispering in their ear about how good it is.

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Between the New 52 and this, he's apparently unable to draw about a dozen issues per year.

What the fuck is happening in the last panel?

>gonna
>superdude
>yer
>ya
>like
Why does Ultraman talk like a teenage girl?

Someone must live in the same state as Bendis, you don't have to kill him, just break his hands and jaw

I live in the same city, but seeing as how you got such delight out of Marvel's misguided adventures in SJW, I'd give him the thumbs up if I saw the old bastard.
Between Zack's work and this, we just might get the answer to "Gentlemen, how do we kill Superman".

this isn't even social justice, it's just awful, awful writing.

Louis shows signs of aging but Superman remains the same

Wait to moment?! The fucking Legion??

why does Superman look Asian

Is he ever going to explain how the Crime Syndicate is still alive?

Nope, just Bendis waving his dick around.

Holy fuck. He has to know.

Wtf was this issue man

Hey kid got any crack

Was Ultraman projecting

I thought the actual human Lois Lane was killed and the amazon who killed her just took her identity.

Wtf

did someone shove a finger in Lois's ass?

I die inside every time I read this. I didn't think it was possible to kill what's already dead, however, this is so awful, I can't stop reading this trainwreck.

Jesus Christ poor Jon
Fucking pedos

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Jimmy and Talia.
Bendis will make Jimmy fuck Talia, isn't he?
It’s hilarious to me how Bendis has passed himself off as a feminist writer.... because there are many hints in his writing that claim otherwise.

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>meet and greet with some kid who can see the future, maybe, nobody can tell if it's truly genuine or not
>the future vision gets rhodey and shulk killed when they go to fight thanos from it, carol wants to use it even when it's proved unreliable and gotten friends killed, tony doesn't want to go full minority report and goes fucking apeshit
>also I guess Thanos is just in prison now

That's Brandon Peterson

You sure?

First page: Tony is warning Carol that Ulysses might see that a fellow hero, like Carol, might be a danger in the future.

Second page: Tony says that he warned Carol about how listening to Ulysses would get one of them killed, even though that wasn't what he warned about in the first page.

mfw i didn't knew Superwoman was Earth 3 lois-lane
So much for female hero/vilain.

How many issues did that take?

Just wait until some future writer makes Jon trans

>makes Jon trans
Nah, they'll make him gay instead.

Please no.. I am tired of those RobinxSuperkid fanboys. Like Damian I desire him good luck with girls in the future..
Are you sure that she is Talia? Superman "daughter" reminds me Talia even more..

Oh Bendis

It’s a dream/vision, Bendis is paralleling what happened with Zod.

Heh I actually like Bendis Ultraman.

They very much combined all earth 3 into one and restored it post superman returns.

No sun eh?

If you guys ever make it to DC, marry Bendis' OC to Snapper Carr or make Snapper Carr the greatest character ever. Bendis hates him.

No joke, I think they actually did something like that a while back.

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Now I get it, it's the story about how Jon lost his virginity

Why the fuck isn't Clark's response "I'm going to rescue you once you tell me how far back in time I need to go"?

If I ewas Clar thats exactly what I'd do. Get the Leage Travel back in time seven-six years hop over the dimensional-vibrational barrier, and save my son.

Is Clark a fucking idiot?

They did with the original Lor-Zod, also known as Chris Kent. Born in the Phantom Zone, which made him immune to its effects, he was tortured and abused by Zod, Ursa, and other prisoners for all of his adolescence, and when he became around nine he escaped. Superman adopted him and treated him like a legitimate son, and was genuinely distraught when he was forced back into the Phantom Zone after a fight with Zod.
He later came back about 10-20 issues later much older during the New Krypton arc and World Without Superman as the new version of Krypton's hero, Nightwing.

DC bringing in Jon wasn't an awful idea, but in doing so, they deliberately eliminated Chris from ever existing, acting like the only other Superchild was Kara. Making it worse by bringing in the new Lor-Zod, which is just a shitty antagonist to parallel the who Super-Family dynamic but with villains. They ruined a decent character who hated his family and only wanted to do what's right, What Superman Would Do, and made him into Zod Jr. for Jon.

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mfw

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Because he’s NOT a fucking idiot like you are? That would completely fuck up the timestream.

Saving his son Jon from years of hell is more important. If I was in his place and didn't try I'd be a bad father. And What's the worst that could happen?

>Bendis
>Liefeld
Who's next? Quesada? Land?

I mean if Bruce and Selina could one day have Helena she's gonna need her own homoerotic kryptonian buddy too

>It's okay when Barry does it

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Flashpoint makes no sense as an alternate timeline story as there's no way Barry's mom can account for all the divergences.

And Jon being on Earth 3 itself is a divergence in the timeline as he's not suppose to chronologically be there. Here's my plan.

>Time jump six years ago
>Dimension jump over to earth 3
>Grab Jon
> Dimension Jump back to main earth
>Time jump back to just a few seconds after you left to rescue Jon

How much of a bad father do you have to be to not save your chronological displaced ten year-old son from a living hell?

1) Nice guy, check out his twitter sometime
2) Variant artists are used to push books, so they hire people who consistently sell to the type of comic fan who buys variants. Liefeld appeals to that market

Superbump