If you were a comic publisher what are pitches/ideas you'd dismiss thoroughly?

"there's a girl on twitter that looks JUST like RiRi Willia--"

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>So why do you wanna kill off this character?
>I wanna show how lethal this new guy is.

And

>Why do you want to kill off this character?
>Because they're fucking lame, lol. It'd be hilarious

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I think for something to be propaganda, it has to be sponsored by the government. Otherwise it's just commentary.

edgy kid gets superpowers and becomes edgelord the feels hunter fighting his will to live and sometimes bad guys

NOOOO, secret origins are based. I can't consider some of these weird ass silver age origins canon.

Legacy characters and mutant extinction events

Any scene with characters talking in a coffee shop or talking about food in a Superhero comic.

Weird fetish episodes. I want to end this once and for all.

>status quo must be maintained
>hurr it's de woild outsyde ur window
>characters getting 'killed" and resurrected
>except for godlike, super or transhuman ones, characters not aging in realtime

>See, I want to take CLASSIC HERO and have him fight against OTHER CLASSIC HERO when...
>Slow down buckaroo. Will each of them job to one another, realize there is a third party no one has ever heard of manipulating them and then they unite to defeat this literal who cares?
>Uhhh....
>Get the fuck out of my office.

Article 13.

>I want to bring back Captain Nazi to do commentary on the present day United States
>Will you be subtle and create a story that can stand the test of time, so that even though it deals with contemporary events it can be read and appreciated at other times in human history?
>No,Captain Nazi is going to look like Trump and want to build a wall.
>Get the fuck out of my office

I would read a good story that deals with present day nationalism issues in a way that addresses right wing fears in a meaningful way.

>But sir, I am legally bound to not detract from either character, and toe exploit their respective fandoms for easy money. In fact, if you don't greenlight this project, you'll get fired and this will be my office.

>I want to do something about a [describes existing underutilised character nobody touched in years] ...
No, you will use the one we already have!

"Well , I don't have the ending but-"

>I want to bring back X character who's been dead for decades

Looking at you, Barry Allen.

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Capes

Anything supporting feminism, sodomy, the Negro rights movement, etc.

>croceeds to describe giant crisis scenario with big who-dun-it that will be almost impossible to resolve satisfactorily without changing the entire universe in ways fans won't accept

Let's get some obvious stuff out of the way
>It's clearly just the writer's fetish
>It's clearly just the writer's power fantasy
>It's clearly just the writer's pissing contest against something or someone else
>It's clearly just the writer's IP safety net
>It's clearly just the writer's movie pitch
>It's vaguely a series of ideas the writer has stolen from others and can't elaborate on but want to secure an official publishing just to prevent others from profiting from it
And given where I'm already going with this I'mma beat you to the chase and make the quip about shutting down due to not being able to publish anything from the modern day.

>sci fi/cosmic shit
>satire/deconstruction of superheroes im okay with realistic portrayals of superheroes but not grimdark edgy shit
>lgbt stuff

i just wanna see charlton characters doing whacky shit in a realistic situation

Did you hate secret empire user?

>"Let's include a rape scene. Rape always raises the stakes."
>"I want to have LGBT representation, but there are too many male main characters in comics, so I made the main lead a badass lesbian."
>"I wanted to make a commentary on recent politics..."
>"The main character is half-demon vampire, which lets him be violent and moody while remaining morally ambiguous and edgy."
>"Here's a list of weapons I want the main character to wield. I really like the concept of the Punisher, but I think I could do better."
>"Picture fifty pages of ultraviolence and cheesecake. Nobody buys comics for the writing anyways."

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That last one sounds a lot less common in the industry than the rest of them

I want to fondle peej's prominent big two

>It's a commentary on immigration/racism/xenophobia/nationalism/class inequality/feminism/sexism/corporatism/drugs/sexual assault/slavery/climate change/colonialism/wildlife conservation/homophobia/

Retcons
Reboots
Decostrutions
Changes to existing characters (not including lore expansion or character developement, obviously)
Muh realism / muh it would make more sense / muh not for kids anymore
Below idealized bodies for males and females (unless it serves some purpose)

>it's tits or character
I just want both

Barry died as a hero during the most memorable event of the DCU and stayed dead.
Resurrecting him really cheapened the entire universe.

I'd forbid writing a character that you didn't create withoit original author supervision.

>Any and all forms of capecancer. It deserves to die.
>Capes
If I was given a billion dollars to start my own comic book company I would have one rule and one rule only.

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Faggotery

>Trying to actively make old popular characters irrelevant
On that note writers can fuck off with "haha this old villain who used to be a threat is so lame, let's make him a butt of all jokes".
You either find a way to make them a threat again or don't use them at all.

Are you talking about shit like the "no kill rule", having the characters be dressed in extremely colorful costumes, and the continuous resurrection of characters that do manage to get killed, among other issues?

>"I always wondered what it would be like if superheroes existed in the real world...."
I'd actually like to see this one, but I probably wouldn't write it like most comic writers, and I think that the "superheroes" in such a story would be drastically different from what would occur in your typical "cape comic".

I would be sure to block any even slightly political content. Then all the bullshit secret origin stories, retcons of retcons of retcons. And of course directing every single capeshit at 10 year olds max, making all the comics drawn by artists doing those books for 3yo kids, with stories on par with peppa the pig. It's not out of spite, but because capeshit literally wrecks the minds of people.

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Anything not involving crime or horror shit to counter-balance all the retards here who want to regress entire genres to Silver Age-era garbage.

What happened in the silver age? Are you talking about all the anons wanting politics removed?

Capshit comics as a whole

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Last thing that really pissed me off was Iron Man’s parents’ retcon. Well, general origin/past retcons unless they’re so good and clever they blow my fucking mind.

I also do not allow
>hero vs hero events for anything that involves characters becoming functionally retarded/completely black and white in order to have en excuse to fight
>Bendis has to be watched carefully
>hamfisted allegory without any thought or nuance