Crappy super powers you wouldn't mind having

That's a pretty good one, but you could potentially use it to save babies from the ledges of skyscrapers, which would make you a hero, so it might not count.

The ability to throw a miniature version of myself as a projectile.

The ability to create green-screen tier explosion effects. They wouldn't hurt of anything, they'd just look silly.

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>she

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The Ability to eyeball measurements with complete accuracy, like being able to tell how much a half teaspoon of basil is just by looking at it

The ability to fly at an average running speed while no one can see me

I wanna be able to duplicate things

The ability to instantly teleport any nearby trash to the nearest dumpster.

I want to have a self cleaning anus, I mean just think of how much time you waste wiping that shit, you could pretty much add a few years to your life (metaphorically speaking of course)

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Knowing exactly when to take my headphones off and get dressed right before a courier is going to ring my doorbell and not having the slightest concern about the package until the exact moment when I answer the door.

Always being absolutely aware of whether my coffee cup is empty or not.

that is an amazing power because the definitions of trash and dumpster can be modified.If you think that criminals are trash and prisons dumpsters, you can teleport any wrongdoer into prison.

I'd love to be able to be fluent in any and every language. Including programming. I may not be able to fight crime, but I'll have great job prospects.

>This power in the hands of a blackpill

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Ability to never sleep yet feel good.

Being able to sleep for the exact right amount of time on command.

The power to be mentally and physically healthy.

>Never wanting to dream again
Sorry user, but trips beat dubs

I had a linguistics professor who pretty much had this, including a bunch of dead languages. One time someone asked her some technical question and she casually wrote Sanskrit, Aramaic and some other obscure ass language on the whiteboard to make cross examples.

Being able to die on mind command

I had absolutely crazy, narratively consistent and plot-driven dreams in my teens, now I just have regular dreams. I would do anything to get my spooky crazy dreams back.

Everlasting pocket change. All the cash I spend returns back to my pockets in coins and 1 dollar bills.

Your dreams probably never had a consistent narrative or plot user, they were disjointed menageries of your memories and imagination playing out at random intervals, when you woke up though your waking mind desired structure and continuity so you subconscious rearranged things, added and took away a few bits, essentially you created your "dream" when you were awake from scraps and remnants of your actual dream.
I used to think I had structure plot like dreams too until for a few months I just tried a dream journal for shits and giggles, wrote whatever I could in pretty much a half awake state the second I was lucid enough to before usually falling asleep again minutes later, the end result was always a completely disjointed mess of mundane or absolute bizarre scenarios.

Basically, dreams are some crazy shit mang.

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I want the ability where I can open doors even if they're locked, they just open whenever I touch the doorknob, the handle, etc. as long as it's a form of a door. Vaults are affected too...

Noise projection. Able to mimic any noise up to a certain loudness from any point of origin.

I'd use it like an impromptu PA system, or fuck with people and spook 'em.
But most of all I'd just have rubber-duck squeek noises everywhere. And have my own background music

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The ability to teleport dust into open spaces.

user I have a draft of a novel based on a series of dreams. Of course the plot wasn't super coherent right off the bat but it was clearly picking up from one place to the next.

Also I had recurring nightmares that revolved around the same theme with recurring characters and a sort of progression and it was like being in a strange alternate world.

Indestructible eyes and 20/20 vision. Immunity to eye strain or damage.

I can hold my eyes open indefinitely, and can see the beauty in this world as intended.I can produce infinite content as an artist without any need for breaks, and can watch any number of tutorials I want to improve my skills or learn other skills entirely to pursue an infinite amount of careers, and can consume as much information as humanly possible with sleep being the only limitation (I already fucking don't).

seeing people naked of course
also knowing how many dicks girl sucked/fucked

Senor Cleanfist

I mean, if it's good enough for Charles Montgomery Burns, it's good enough for me.
youtube.com/watch?v=DnBtoOAhba4

Seeing number above people's heads representing how much they like or dislike me

Also making animals come into a house and singing songs with you

The power to control bugs

Ability to call to dance chellenge anyone. He/she can't refuse and have to defeat me in dance either one on one or group vs group.

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The ability to power any electronic just by touching them

I want the superpower to make the Simpsons good again

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Theme music. Everyone can hear it.

The ability of being able to savour the taste of any food/beverage on will.

Maximum cleanliness aura. Play in mud? Swim in sewage? Expose to radiation? No contamination anywhere on me and whatever personal belongings I was carrying. Perfect health due to the inability to get sick is a result of this. Can still be cripppled, killed, and die of old age.

Power to chew and eat anyrhing. Wood, soil, concrete, steel etc

even the whole ass?

That’s different from digestion. Actually shallow any of those might potentially be harmful.

A pocket dimension where I can easily store and retrieve all of my belongings.

The ability to selectively mute sounds but only for me. Like I could be at a party and I can just mute the music but everyone can still hear it but me and I can still hear everything else but the music.

buy house to drown your enemies in a pool of coins and bills

ok, then digest them too. also transform them into nutrients

I want the power to instantly know the IP address of anything I look at on the internet.

Not too useful but I'd be able to identify astroturfing shills.

I'd take a hearthstone from WoW. At least then I could come home from work without pleblic transport. I could also go on Holiday and not pay a return flight. I could also do dangerous stuff and as long as there's a 12 second buffer I could zip out of there.

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The ability to turn off my nose whenever i want to

Super slow mo

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Shit dawg, sign me up for some desaturation.

If 1 second super strength is once a day, and not just once ever, then it's incredibly useful.

The ability to never tire or need sleep. I'm just always awake and alert.

Revive bugs. Then I go and find some Arthropleura fossils and revive them.

I already have abnormal hairgrowth and bad luck luck absorption

I want to make soup

Gwen Grayson's technopathy
At least I can use that power to build a monster of a gaming laptop that would make the supercomputers of the Pentagon and NASA look like potatoes by comparison.
Said gaming laptop will also be perfectly compatible with every game from the DOS era to the newest releases.
And I can even upgrade it with my mind to support features such as ray-tracing and HDR.
It will be so powerful that it can render current-Disney/Pixar levels of CGI in real time, in 8K, VR, and in very high framerates.

Also, I can also go full Senator Armstrong and implant nanomachines into myself to 1UP my already high intelligence and strength (yes, I am very strong and intelligent IRL) and basically make myself even stronger, smarter and faster.
I can also extend my lifespan and keep my looks youthful with said nanomachines.
I can even save the ones I love from death with said nanomachines.

One of the very first things I would probably do is look for a quadruple amputee and give him/her a full set of super strong bionic limbs.
I won't give myself bionic limbs since my nanomachines are probably already just as powerful as bionic limbs, if not stronger.

And finally, since our world is slowly but surely turning into a cyberpunk future, I can control most (if not all) technology basically making my "crappy" superpower OP.

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Yeah.
I think the power to control technology with your mind is a lame superpower but if you can build a ridiculously overpowered laptop, it's already a great superpower for me.
But inserting nanomachines into yourself? Now that's awesome!

That is absolutely a superhero power
Imagine, you press your police buzzer to bring them towards you
Then you confront a pack of thugs and unleash your challenge. They desperately try to keep up with you, knowing the timer is ticking. Can they handle the heat? Can they handle your moves?

The ability to make anyone laugh, genuinely.
I'd like that.
I could've made Mom laugh one more time.

I wish I couldn't get drunk because then I wouldn't be such a raging alcoholic.

Merely Ok Human Physical Condition.

You can effortlessly stay in shape. Not a Captain America, but you will never be fat and can do a full day's heavy yard work.

The power to remove/insert myself into images (even paintings and drawings) and videos. Imagine the spooky shit you could pull off.
>put a pattern of yourself into late night tv just to fuck with crazy/sleepy people.

75% levitation, that way I can just slide around.

free facelift every day.

>I'd love to be able to be fluent in any and every language. Including programming. I may not be able to fight crime, but I'll have great job prospects.

There was an X-Man/New Mutant named Cypher who that power. They dragged him along on missions so he could translate for them and, surprise surprise, he got shot and died like a bitch.

They brought him back years later, but interpreted his translating powers as "the ability to read body language" and made him a master martial artist, then went Full Retard with it and made so he could "read the language of the universe" or some crazy overpowered shit.

So your power request is denied by the qualifiers of this thread, sorry.

Thats a really fucking good power

Think of all the jellybean counting contests you could win at county fairs.

Literally Matter Eater Lad

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