How would you finish the simpsons?

Bart realizes he's not getting older. No one is. He can remember missing several of Lisa's birthdays, but she's still eight. No one else he talks to finds this odd.

He starts having an epic freak-out until he gets to Ned, who manages to calm him down enough to listen to all of his observations. Ned doesn't tell him he's just imagining things, that he's crazy, or that he needs help.

Bart stops rambling when he notices Flanders isn't shocked.

"You've known." Bart says calmly. "You've always known."

"Bart, you've heard me talk about sin so much it's probably coming out the other ear. But it's not just some abstract concept. Human flaws need to be purged before we can move on, and the best way to do that is to make it so that people suffer from their own vices. You have to be uncomfortable with your flaws before you can move on."

Bart cracks up laughing. "So, wait, wait... Springfield is hell? I knew it!"

"Purgatory."

"Wha?"

"Springfield is purgatory. Every place you've been to outside of here was just a little fragmentary pocket to create the illusion you could get away, but... you always wind up right back here. Back to disrespecting teachers and pulling mean-spirited pranks. Back to a family with so many flaws you'd think it'd fall apart, but it doesn't. A barely but perfectly stabilized house of people digging into each other."

"...so Maude..."

"When a person is ready to move on, they die here. It's painless, however bad it looks on this end." Ned sighs. "I really do miss her. I really do."

And we call that "The Aristocrats"!

>Homer is fired again and needs a job
>He gets an email from Hank Scorpio, inviting him to the Scorpian republic of the East Coast
>After arriving, Hank finds out that Homer needs a job, so he asks him to help him out with something (if he succeeds, he'll pay Homer) Homer accepts
>Turns out the something is taking over the United States
>Thanks to Homer's stupidity Hank succeeds on taking over
>It ends with the Simpsons ruling over Springfield as benevolentish dictators

End it with a movie, should definitely involve hank Scorpio. Beautiful part of this is, if the movie is good you transition the franchise entirely to film. This in theory gives you more time to make each entry quality.

With Sneed.

"But then why are you and Rodd and Todd here? I mean, if anyone should move on, it's you!"

Ned smiles sadly. "Bart, long ago I made a very big mistake. I got mad at my father. I taught people to do horrible things. Before I knew it, they were building off of that, doing even worse. I thought..." Ned sighs. "I thought if I went away, then all the bad would too. It didn't work."

Bart's eyes go wide.

"Last person you'd expect, right? He offered me forgiveness, but..." Ned sighs. "I owe it to you. I owe it to you to make the purging process uncomfortable, but not horrible, so that when you're actually ready to go, you're really ready to go."

Bart takes a look around at the ultra-Christian, super-sanitized house. "...this is all so Rodd and Todd can move on quicker?" Ned just nods.

"So why tell me all this?"

"Because you're ready to start getting ready. You've realized nothing here is changing. You've realized nothing is getting worse, but it's not getting better. And finally you're starting to get uncomfortable. When nothing around you changes, it's time to change yourself."

Bart looks down at the floor, at his hands, mouth slightly open. "...so how do I get ready?" he asks quietly.

"Go and sin no more."

Cue montage of Bart doing more responsible things, refraining from pranks, being nicer to his parents and sister, at set to Bastille's Pompeii. Barney Gumble runs over Bart while drunk-driving, with Bart's soul flying up and looking down as his body lays on the road. He looks up to a light as the screen fades to white.

As the part of "Oh where do we begin?" starts, we see the funeral and aftermath of Bart's death. Barney Gumble's hand shakes as he reaches for another beer, then, in a fit of rage, he smashes all of them and pours several large bottles of liquor down the sink. He see other little changes in the Springfield residents. Homer stops going to the bar. Lisa stops nagging and being a sjw. Nelson helps a kid up instead of pushing him down.

The last scene is Ned driving down the empty streets of Springfield, looking around. There's no one to be seen. He heads to the Krusty Burger.

There, at one table, is a Mr. Rogers look alike. He's sipping a chocolate shake. There's one for Ned.

"No newcomers. No one left." Ned says as he sits down.

"Yeah, well, all things come to an end. I know you wanted to make things right, and you did, but we can't have you paying the price forever."

"I appreciate that." Cut to a view facing them and the window looking out onto Springfield. Things are beginning to disintegration into a white void.

"So, what are the plans for the next project?" Ned asks as everything but the table and themselves beings to fade.

"Oh, I have so many ideas... let me show you."

Fade to white.

Sneed gets an elephant

It just ends. It doesn't deserve closure or an ending that changes the characters in any way since they haven't felt like those characters for almost 2 decades now.

didn't hank scorpio only appear in like one episode?

this reminds me of the user who wrote the spongebob ending and said "patrick finally does prove mayonaise is an instrument" even though it was just a gag in one episode

this kind of stuff triggers my autism

Ned Flanders wakes up in bed, and hears the shower is on in the bathroom. As he enters, he finds Maude is alive and well.
Everything from seasons 11 onwards was all a dream.

Since simpsons can't meaningfully "finish" I would just do a super special episodes celebrating the entire Simpsons history
Now, after 30+ seasons it would be quite hard to pick the best moments to reference though.
Eventually writers should settle for referencing the first season, bringing up stuff that isn't being referenced anymore.
Except the stuff that got shitcanned or retconned, maybe bring Apu back for the one last time?
Disregarding what you think about zombie simpsons, it at least deserves to go out with giant final episode of every simpson character meeting in a single event.

fuck this got me

Finish?

Do we need to repeat the song again?

as far as I'm concerned, Behind the Laughter was the end.