Why are there no good video games about the bible?

Castlevania

Same reason there are no good koran or torah games. People take this shit too seriously. You can't make God of War type bullshit about modern religions without people strapping bombs to themselves and blowing shit up or killing you with boycotts. Plus everyone would just call you an edgelord.

Every piece of Christian media is complete garbage because they fail to make compelling or remotely relatable because they're too focused on how great God is without actually having competent writing. There's some good stories in the Bible for people to make games or movies about (like how Samson killed a lion with a jawbone, which just sounds somewhat like an angry doomguy) too. It sucks we haven't actually gotten any good media yet

this, it even exposes Y*hweh for the evil demon he is.

SMT is more of a a celebration/awareness of the spiritual nature of humanity and the the thoughtforms they've created with their power.

There’s Noah. Looks pretty fast for an old guy.

I have an idea for a Christian game:

You come into existance as a demon right at the beggining of creation after Adam sins for the first time.
You can make your own demon character based around one of the 7 deadly sins.
And then you through the game you go through the most famous Bible stories cronologically, but with a twist that the player is there to mess shit up

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my bad i mixed up samson with another story. Samson does though take on an army of one thousand men with a jawbone and kills every single one of them though

Religion is a low intellect form of philosophy. There are a lot of ideas in Christianity that can be dissected and analyzed, but no just listen and believe goyim.

Noah's Ultimate Zoo Keeper and Space Management Simulator

Fuck off with that 14-year old cringe shit.

Dante's Inferno for the game
Prince of Egypt for movie
Brothers Karamazov for book

APOLOGIZE

Fight of Gods

Fuck off fag my idea is legit kino

> dantes inferno

He said good games.

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The neverhood is great

christians aren't supposed to like videogames. they promote

>violence
>murder
>gore
>animal abuse
>cock fighting
>furryshit
>pedoshit
>sexual abuse
>gacha
>loot boxes
>gambling
>killing and opposing God
>alcohol abuse
>giving alcohol to minors
>stealing
>breaking into people's houses
>breaking someone else's property
>breaking local laws
>promoting anarchy against governments and religion
>graffiti
>vandalism

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Play Xenogear

What are some good games based on the Quran?

does this count

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What's the problem exactly?

shin megami tensei

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>Why are there no good video games about the bible?
Are you saying Doom is a bad game?

El shaddai for the 360/ps3

>implying it isn't
>good combat system with multiple weapons that have nice movesets
>locations and enemies based on the circles of hell
>story of using the power and forgiveness of God to pull yourself out of hell and be redeemed
It's a great soulful adaption with an original story, and takes the best descriptive parts and characters from the real Dante's Inferno.

Theres many games that take inspiration from the bible and other religions. What are you talking about? Are you really asking for a game that is about Jesus?

TempleOS games

I've been summoned.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

>chick tracts
Into the trash.

>people recommending games with spiritual or religious themes instead of bible games
There's only one kino bible game:
store.steampowered.com/app/977200/Bible_Test/

i don't think i said there was a problem other than give the wrong story on accident. what do you mean?

Yeah they could adapt the fight with the tribe of Benjamin after they raped that girl to death and the guy butchered her corpse and sent the pieces across Israel to send a message.
That would be a nice Christian game I’d let my kids play.

>implying mdickie's The You Testament doesn't exist

>the following symbols are satanic in nature, please destroy them
>except not this page obviously
kek
Why's the Cross of St. Peter a satanic symbol, anyway? Is it one of those things where satanists just started using it without knowing what it was, and Christians just went along with it?

I agree. I think main character could look something like pic related.

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Where is the screencap of that one user actually buying this?

Funny, lot let sodom and gommorah do something similar to his own daughter and god still calls him pure.

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Not quite. He offered but the town was too gay to want to. The same daughters later get their dad drunk and rape him.

Huh, it's on sale too.
And if you buy the bundle, you get a DOUBLE sale. That's some good Christian charity right there.

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last bible

Bible Test.

>LOTR
Pretty sure Tolkien was catholic

To be fair, God only saved Lot because he was related to Abraham and Abraham was God’s homie.

I think Jack Chick is some kind of protestant.

A) Jack Chick was more than a bit crazy, and B) a lot of Christians just assume that any symbol aside from their favorite ancient torture device or the Jesus fish are automatically satanic and will refuse the learn any context surrounding them lest it invite Satan to invade their butthole while they're asleep.

>oh fuck Im such an incompetent retard in every aspect of life
>surely this is proof that there is no greater intelligence than humans in the universe because they would not allow me to suffer so

then on the other side

>we know what this higher being wants and not that other group even though none of us ever had any interaction with a god or really any idea at all besides a bunch of old books that may or may not be true
Humans crack me up

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Catholicism is evil and run by demons tho

saint peter's cross is kino tho

>tfw you'll never wander around as Moses slaughtering tribes and taking their virgin daughters as sex slaves

The tract claims only in 3D do the symbols have any power. Does that mean getting them tattooed on your body is harmless? Asking for a friend.

>game where you need to explore the cum-encrusted streets of Sodom and Gomorrah, hiding from the rape gangs, hoping to find at least ten good people so that God doesn't destroy the cities
It'd make a fun survival horror.

I had Bible Adventures as a kid.

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What does that have to do with video games though?

Well, Joshua, but I get what you’re saying.
Moses just got to wander the desert with a nation of whiners for 40 years then die on a mountain alone instead of going into the promised land cause he ticked God off once.

Lmao
>The Divine Comedy
>Ordet
>The Passion of Joan of Arc
>Paradise Lost
>the fucking Sistine Chapel
>The Pilgrim's Progress
>the King James Bible itself, where even Richard Dawkins called it a great work of literature, said it should be in every school and said that any English speaker who hasn't read it is basically a pleb
Source: theguardian.com/science/2012/may/19/richard-dawkins-king-james-bible
t. agnostic atheist

because it's the reason why there will never be a good video game about religion.
humans are emotional pussies.

Wooow, the great and genius Richard Dawkins said it!? Come on retard, read some Plato or Cicero and you'll see how fucking lame and dry the bible is, even early Christians thought so.

>>the King James Bible itself, where even Richard Dawkins called it a great work of literature, said it should be in every school and said that any English speaker who hasn't read it is basically a pleb
won't lie you dunked on me i actually forgot about pilgrim's progress. also i thought it was implied i wasn't referring to the kjv bible itself but it is what it is.

t. religious cuck

ha.

>t. agnostic atheist

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Most devs are atheists.

>Tips crucifix

because of the jews

But there is, at least the FUN version of the bible

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Citation needed.

>agnostic
>atheist
pic one and only one because both terms are incompatible between themselves

My point is that you don't have to be a Christian for the KJV to be worth reading, using Dawkins, someone who is a complete meme because he is a huge figure in the Reddit atheism movement, as an example.

>Nowhere in the bible does it say that 666 is the number of the beast
>Making it the easiest way to spot a retard
Based.

they'd just bitch about them

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Another thing really amazing about noah is that he can run so fast that he can actually outrun the screen.

This game was fun as fuck, i liked how the bosses would come at you seemingly out of nowhere and if you died then you had to wait to fight them again right? The combat could have used more depth but it was pretty sweet.

Take it up with the guy that claimed to be one, then.

She was raped and cut into pieces when he offered her to the town in order to spare the strangers.

>Moses climbs a mountain to receive some commandments from God
>as soon as his back is turned all the other jews start worshipping a statue, because why the fuck not, who cares if the Lord God just saved them from slavery in Egypt
>Moses is so shocked that he drops the stone tablets God gave him
>has to go back up the mountain to ask for more tablets
Chosen people.

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>bastardize the source material
>people don't like it
Why should they?

The problem is that's not a video game yet. All of Samson's adventures would make for a great video game.

he was memeing like a motherfucker
because agnostics(believe in higher beings but not in concrete ones) can't be atheists(do not believe in higher beings)

Real question is why isn't there a game based on the Iliad and Odyssey? That would be cool as fuck.

Can't he also pick up multiple oxen and maintain his speed?

NGL, I'd play this.

Age of Mythology, you bastard

agnostics don't have a belief one way or the other

But there is one.
Binding of Isaac

The made a whole console based on the Odyssey . What more do you need?

yeah.

Holy kek
I'm sad I missed this

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But the Book of Revelation literally says that. Chapter 13, verse 18.

It’s in Revelation chapter 13.
Sorry to ruin your dreams.

That's not true, though. It's literally just "There *might* be something resembling a god out there, but until I get some evidence I'm leaning towards "No."

super mario odyssey

>no video game or movie based on revelation
There are some good bible movies but most people hate them since it disagrees with their viewpoint on religion or god so a majority of stuff that deals with religion.

No. She wasn’t. I read the entire Bible every year.
You’re mixing the woman raped by the tribe of Benjamin with lot and his daughters.

Play Xenosaga
>Jesus shows up
>main protagonist is the reincarnation of one of Jesus Christ's followers
>the second main protagonist is an android housing Mary Magdalene's soul
>one of the villains is an bio-mechanical android made out of Mary Magdalene's corpse
>all taking place 1000s of years in the future in space
>all sorts of Christian symbolism, parallels and names

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>Best bible game ever made
> made by japs
What did they mean by this?

Divine harmony.

most Christians either wouldn't appreciate an accurate setting of biblical times (at least enough to drives sales), or they would view it as sacrilegious
biblical society was almost alien compared to today, and it would be really interesting...but in order to avoid glorifying violence or sin everything is completely sanitized
just as an example: despite being greatly outnumbered the disciple Peter immediately tries to decapitate someone when Jesus is being arrested
what kind of man was Peter?
he sounds like the sort of person you would like to have in a fight
there's almost no further elaboration though anywhere
if you want to make a good bible video game you would have to make it an allegory

I can even pick the lion up and it doesn't care.

I swear to god it's in there. He offered on of her to the town and they raped and murdered her before coming after the two men he was keeping inside. He even says "please don't do this" right before offering her.

That’s the tribe of Benjamin raping the maid servant. Lot offers his daughters to Sodom cause they wanna have sex with the angels staying with him. They refuse, and say they want the angels. The angels blind the crowd and Lot, his wife and daughters slip out before the town is destroyed.
Lot’s wife looks back at the town and becomes a pillar of salt, and Lot and his daughters flee to the mountains where his daughters get him drunk and daterape him.

They're hilarious to read

So why is Christianity "more correct" than the predecessor and the successor?

It was 616 originally.

>they refuse
Not in the version I read. They gang rape her and murder her and then come after the angels again.

Genesis 19:1-11
They leave unharmed.

>successor
Islam is an alternative answer and challenge to judaism.

>peace sign is forbidden
But isn't nuclear disarmament what Jesus would do?

because there no longer exists people who can simultaneously give enough of a shit about the bible and get by in a modern day society

idk what happened

I'm so sick of ironic reactionary nu-christian larp

You read somethung that wasn’t the Bible then.
Read Genesis 19. I have it open in front of me. I’m looking right at it. They leave as a family. You are seriously thinking the tribe of Benjamin. I can find that passage for you too if you give me a sec.

images like this make gnosticism seem ever more reasonable

Best WWE game out there, with the most complex and convoluted gameplay. Also best cast of characters and it even has MAGIC just like All Stars. Btw its free

Not MURRICAN Jesus, aka the real Jesus

Found it. Judges 19.
That’s the passage with the Benjaminites rape and butchering of a woman.

well fuck. I guess you're right. Doesn't change the fact that he still offered them though.

youtube.com/watch?v=KOw7cemhV58

There's a song for that

>user has a Bible translation with uncensored rape scenes
Fucking link it

Cope

Diehard Christians think any depiction of God or Jesus in a form of entertainment is a no no
Besides what is there to even do with a game about Christianity? I could think a DOOM style game about Jesus fighting in the rapture but that's about it

Not necessarily.

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Yeah, that definitely wasn’t cool.

he said games about the bible

This. Also there's the problem that most Christians don't really understand their own religion to begin with. The artists that make real biblical shit thematically get in trouble for not making it christian superficially. See Noah.

>white jesus

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All SMT games can be bible games if you follow the correct route.

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based jesus

>Jesus fighting in the Rapture
He'd be the end boss though.

buddy, TempleOS has plenty of games

what about Noah

I know you aren't heavily invested in this debate but that quote was taken so far out of context in your usage. He's trying to illustrated the concept of the word as a cognitive weapon, not endorse wars in the name of god or belief systems.

That's a different story, dude.
Yeah, you'd think he'd just say "Screw it, I'll just order a different group of people to chop their dick-skins off" after they pissed him off for like the 10th time.

>third-person brawler about Jesus driving moneylenders out of the Temple of Jerusalem
>gay survival horror in Sodom/Gomorrah like suggested
>Samson Beats Up Everyone: The Movie: The Game

The movie. It got blasted by christian interest groups for not being a 1:1 of king james picture bible. Lots of critics faulted it for being "too old testament" and it's one of the only mainstream movies that gets the bible right thematically.

most people haven't actually read the bible so pointing it out is pointless

Just make it "I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!" the game.

I think it's more about scope: it would be too hard to make something based on the Bible verbatim; however many video games are partly based on the Bible. Revelations, in particular, are a favorite source of inspiration for a big chunk of fiction; and many characters sort-of based on Jesus Christ.

(You)

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b9

>Luke 12:49
I just really like taking bible quotes out of context.

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My understanding is that he was using it as an analogy for conflict in general, since he follows it up with talking about diving family against family.

>old world catholics from Rennaissance Europe circa 500 years ago excuses the "art" that Protestants have shit out for the last 150 years
ahahahahahahahahaa
no

Is that true?

Your understanding isn't wrong per se, but i do question your understanding of the WORDS of your understanding. Nothing you said conflicts with what I said. The whole point is that he's talking about the word as a cognitive tool. He's not endorsing physical violence regardless of the motivation of the speech.

there is
it's called after egypt, made by tarry a davis

but thats not bible? thats just some oldfag's self insert fantasy while he condemned all the guys he didn't like

I see. I hadn't really considered it that way. Also I'm not the guy you were arguing with before.

God Hand was good.

xenosaga is so based

Literature-wise the Bible is just shitty boomer fanfiction anthology though. Scientists probably should stick to their field of expertise.

>Brothers Karamazov
>good

cyka blyat, just fuck off before I throw an inkpot at you.

it's philosophy through analogy and story telling. Sorry your adhd ridden brain couldn't understand it.

dunno
but one slightly related note besides kotor 2 what character creator let's you make a jesus looking character

>.I hadn't really considered it

Not sure where you are from but here in America they don't teach people to digest anything but false dichotomies. The stuff I was saying is standard christian apologist knowledge though.

I'm not a christian in the first place and it's been years since I've even touched a bible.

You're confusing boomer American Protestants with Christianity in general. There are countless great works of art inspired by Christianity. And then there's God's (Not) Dead 2.

Atheism is SPECIFICALLY a lack of belief in gods. They can still believe in "higher beings" as long as said higher beings aren't gods.

I'm still mad that they killed off half of the Biracial Pastoral Bromance in GND 3.

>it's philosophy through analogy and story telling

Just like every shitty Sonic or Kpop fanfic there is. For fuck's sake, the Bible ends with disjointed Erowid copypasta, literally DUDE LMAOH JESUS RODE FROM HEAVENS TO KILL PEOPLE IN SOME DESERT AND THERE WAS SOME BEAST AND UH ANOTHER BEAST AND HE ALSO WAS SATAN AND ALL THE WATERS TURNED INTO BLOOD AND THERE WERE HUGE MONSTERS AND YEAH WATERS BECAME BLOOD ONCE AGAIN. Such deep philosophy, even Gnostic Gospels are less laughable.

They can if they are ignorant enough though, and it's usually pretty easy for the sort of people who tend to call themselves agnostics.

Better idea. You are an angel who fought on the side of Lucifer during the War in Heaven. After Lucifer's side lost, you were among the survivors who were forever banished from Heaven, and now you walk the earth as an immortal demihuman. You travel the world throughout various time periods encountering other other mythological figures like Thor, Hercules, Ra, Amaterasu, Brahma and Sun Wukong. Eventually you meet Lucifer again in the modern era after he's already taken over Hell.

Depending on the choices you made throughout the game, you can either join him again, redeem yourself in the eyes of the Lord or just say fuck it altogether and continue life as a herculean Highlander.

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There are more than you realize but they dressed up as something completely different.

it's okay to admit you didn't get it libtard.

Tfw no revlations game about michael casting satan out of heaven

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Better idea. You're a hardboiled demon detective hired by a gorgeous succubus to find her missing pet sinner. Eventually you uncover the giant conspiracy; turns out Hell actually won the war and Heavens are just a ruse maintained by Beelzebub, Lord of Lies.