This book does not exist

>invent a book title
>next user writes a summary for it
haven't done this in a while. reply to previous posters before posting your own titles

I'll start
>the nine-way intersection
>starch
>but what happens when the moon goes out?
>the door that never closes

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The Improbable Adventures of Willo the Monkey and His Brother Lamallo

Prince of Twin Hearts
Sherlock Holmes ripoff where it's all animals instead of humans. Willo is Sherlock and Lamallo is Watson.

Willo is expunged from the typewriter experiment as he kept screwing up the results by typing original prose instead of random symbols or Shakespeare. His brother sees an opportunity to use the texts in commercial publishing, but upon entering the industry makes a horrific discovery: the monkey experiment output is directly utilised by publishers.
he sets out to persuade the other monkeys to file the unlikeliest lawsuit in history.

minute variations in the level of the sea

Decolonising the Anglo-Saxons

The Clouds Will Never Come Down

a group of kids in a seaside village notice some very odd tidal markings on the shore. they monitor it together for a few days, and finally ask an old fisherman if those abnormal patterns are a sort of seasonal phenomena.
his face stiffens, and he agrees to tell them the real cause of those minute variations in the level of the sea.

Epigenic scifi about creating a pure Anglo breed and a pure Saxon breed. They become moral enemies** in the sequel.

(**or gay lovers, the drafts are still with the editors)

A boy and his uncle try to remove every trace of French from the English language, favoring Anglish instead. They are depressed due to the fact that the French raped the English hundreds of years ago and left their endless mark in the language. In the novel, French is seen as a language of colonizers while Anglish is the language of the oppressed.

Infinite Chest

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that could slap

The Danish Sailor

Three brides in Utah

"Whoa, mate, chill, breathe out!" his buddy said jokingly.
"Huh? Out?" a man says in perplexion, realising he's only ever breathed in. In, and in, his ribcage never falling, drawing the air ever in.

>The comedic story of a Danish sailor in a Swedish vessel, unable to be understood by his fellow seamen. Relying on linguistic humour and the author's deep knowledge of Nordic languages, it presents the Danish (spoken) language for what it truly is: gibberish.

swede hands typed this.

could be a Danish ship with a crew from Copenhagen with the eponymous sailor being from some random place in Jutland and the book would end up the same way.

Some Oprah's book club tier fiction about Mormon wives in a polygamous household. Big dramatic finale is one of them committing suicide.

Mine:
Trivolity

My Penis and Other Short Stories

that's fair. i really could use some maritime geoethnic comedy

The Purpose Of A System Is What it Achieves

checked
an ontology of phallic comedy and penisual tropes

Generated automatically by NovelAI's Krake V2 model:

>Title: An Ontology Of Phallic Comedy and Penisual Tropes
>Summary: This paper explores the extent to which phallic comedy can be seen as a sub-genre of penisulism. The paper suggests that this is best understood not through an investigation of its most famous works, but by considering how it has been treated in more recent criticism, especially since the 1970s when feminist critics began looking for alternative readings of such works, beyond those provided by sexologists or psychoanalysts who had written on them earlier. It goes on to examine some other notable examples where we find 'penis' playing a prominent role within both text and context (for example, Chaucer's Canterbury Tales), arguing that there are certain themes, plots, tropes and language use typical of what might loosely be called "phallic comedy" across the genres explored here. In addition, the essay considers the way in which penisularity functions differently according to gender, showing us why male characters tend to receive the lion's share of attention from contemporary commentators while female characters appear as objects of ridicule or titillation rather than heroes, heroines or comic foils. Finally, it draws our attention to certain key features common to all the texts discussed: the importance of spectacle, excess, ritualised violence, madness, mistaken identity, transgression, satire and misogyny – though often with quite different emphases according to authorial gender and literary genre.
>Keywords: penisulism, phallic comedy, feminism, rape, medieval literature, humour, tragedy, comedy
>The term penisulism is derived from Greek. Literally meaning 'penis play', the word was first used by Freud in his Three Essays on Sexuality (1905).

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Cookie Dough

the Kafkaesque tale of someone working for a big social media company who is also banned from their services
a sassy, joyous, feminist collection of satirical stories about modern love
YA about cancer

Neptune's Lament

>Cookie Dough
An attempted usurpation in Mussolinis Italy gone awry; political intrigue novel

Apples to apples

Naturalism inspired overtly serious story about an inner city baker and his day to day until his eventual death in an explosion after his neighbour tries to cheat the insurance company.

More from the AI:

>Title: Neptune's Lament
>Summary: A series of murders on a moon orbiting Saturn leads to the discovery that an alien intelligence is using human criminals as weapons against society. In order to bring down the culprits, they must find and destroy the brain-implanted criminal mastermind behind it all, but will need the help of a rogue artificial intelligence ("Neptune") in doing so. Philosophically, this story questions whether humankind can survive without a moral code. The philosophical point being made here could be considered the same question posed in Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, who asks if man has free will or was created entirely by other forces. It also draws from Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four where Winston Smith struggles with the idea of there being no good or evil.
>Keywords: Science Fiction, Murder Mystery, Artificial Intelligence, Transhumanism, Philosophy

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Kino.

>NovelAI's
ive been meaning to check it out, i think they have a free trial by now. how do you find it? do you just use it for lulz and leisure or genuine work too? enlighten me

the post is very solid, i enjoyed & checked

The free trial unfortunately doesn't feature their Krake model, which is what I've been using exclusively now that they released v2, otherwise it's wonderful.
I use it for leisure, school, and I plan on using it professionally soon. Pic related is an original piece that it wrote without without a prompt, if you're interested on seeing more output.

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most quality delivery itt

>cookie dough
a sebald-style essay that starts from contemplating the cookie dough and branches off in all directions - first, people willing to take risks (salmonella) for tge satisfaction of senses, secondly, the phenomena of uncooked dough being more desirable than the intended product, then the way food habits had become too sterile since raw eggs should be fine for you, then also - how exemplary it is of the consumerist spirit to sell premade cookie dough, subtracting the pleasure of making it and sneaking spoonfuls before you bake it! - then some remark on the cultural history of cookies and food safety, a meditation on the iconic status of certain foods and tastes; a tale on the etymology and spellinh of "dough" is a given. it ends with the smoke of those cookies i forgot in the oven while writing this.

it looks amazing. ive been fooling with ai dungeon on and off, but naturally i hate the censorship and the drawbacks of their inferior free model

>Apples to apples
a tale of an autistic chef who invents dishes catering to his picky irrational palate. as a child he believed religiously in "an apple a day keeps a doctor away" since he had a phobia of health professionals. he later teams up with the man who cultivates rare apple varieties to open the world's first apple-centric diner.

AI dungeon from what I understand is really bad, NovelAI doesn't have censorship and is much more feature-rich. I wasn't there for the controversy but I believe its community is where most AID users fled to.

Philosophies of Minecraft

King of the Chameleons

>Trivolity
a simpleton solves an insanely hard scientific problem by chance as he had an unbiased clear outlooks. and again. and again. academics worldwide go mad, self-inflicting head injuries and abusing substances to give themselves brain damage. cognitive minimalism is the new craze, with pedantism and erudition bashed, downies revered as prophets, and thus began the Endimnment Era.

Another AI-generated summary:

>Title: King of the Chameleons
>Summary: A man's life is turned upside down when he gets a magical tattoo that changes his skin to match whatever it touches. After living as a leper for ten years, and becoming a popular actor with his new look, he falls in love with the daughter of a powerful politician who wants him dead. He tries to escape his new life, but the Tattoo has altered him so much that he no longer recognizes himself, and instead becomes a fugitive on the run from both sides of an escalating war between the men who control him and the supernatural forces hunting him.
>Keywords: drama, low fantasy, political thriller, magic, romance

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Kakaschrunti

Supremely cozy

an ode to old school games that could offer near infinite possibilities on a humble file size, followed by a meditation on the degeneration of gaming and teenage interests. the distinction between minecraft and overwatch is the definition of early vs late zoomer mind.

i have a whole cover, pls do this one broskis

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>Prince of Twin Hearts
The highest rated doctor who episode

Really interesting concept.

>The Door that Never Closes
A homeless guy just barely meets the prerequisites to join the Army. While there, he meets other guys who were in similar desperate situations but they all experience humanitarian tragedies and some realize that they'd rather just have wasted away on the street than work for the government. In the end, the first guy, the only one to have hung on by a thread, becomes a recruitment officer hoping that future generations will not have to serve the same way he did.

I got a few

Gains In A Vat

Where Did Fido Go?

The Sexual Politics Of Microplastics

Hunting For Compliments

Who Killed Roger Rabbit?

Twink Markets Versus Bear Markets

300 Days In Israel

Whats It Like To Be A Bat-Mitzvah

Transformers In The Post-Modern Era

Imma be real with you chief only like two of these are gonna be responded to

ok that's alright

These threads are for people who don't read.

booba

>The Improbable Adventures of Willo the Monkey and His Brother Lamallo
Children's book about Willo and Lamallo, monkeys who go into a human town.
>Prince of Twin Hearts
Trashy vampire romance book, don't know or care.
>minute variations in the level of the sea
It'll be one of those 100 page novels where the title and the story don't have anything to do with each other. Probably a Mishima-esque novel about teenagers falling in love or suicide or something.
>Decolonising the Anglo-Saxons
Oxford University Press book from a female history professor introducing a "fresh new" side of English history.
>The Clouds Will Never Come Down
7/10 sci-fi novel my coworker Max would like, he reads a lot of Philip K. Dick. Government plots, government experiments, artificial intelligence, rogue AI, human consciousness, ends with everyone dead.
>Infinite Chest
booba. Or some dumb fuck actor or journalist's memoir.
>The Danish Sailor
Book for elementary and middle school age readers about a young Danish boy who goes on adventures around the world. Maybe it's set during the viking era, but sanitized to be kid friendly.
>Three brides in Utah
Historical fiction about early Mormon polygamy.>Trivolity
Not a book but an award winning Broadway musical, something gay but still good because it's well made.
>My Penis and Other Short Stories
Le wacky humor book for boomers and wine aunts.
>The Purpose Of A System Is What it Achieves
Trashy spy thriller like that Janet Evanovich bitch or whoever.
>Cookie Dough
Memoir of a woman whose experiences as a child shaped her, very tragic, beautiful prose.
>Neptune's Lament
Maybe there's a Roman myth about Neptune where he fucked up, and that situation somehow applies to this 1950s novel, with the main character being an allegory to that myth. I don't know Roman myth so I can't give you an example.
>Apples to apples
Love story about two seemingly different people who are more alike than they thought. Idk I can't think of anything
>Philosophies of Minecraft
Pop science shit about how video game and play is children's way of creating a world of their own imagination, capital d Drama, Peterson shit.
>King of the Chameleons
Chameleon = people who blend in with society, the king of the chameleons is the literally me protagonist who does this Patrick Bateman style. White cover, red text.
>Kakaschrunti
Frankenstein, Utopia, The Time Machine story about natives on an island.
>White Noise Navigation Handbook
Literally me protagonist is bogged down by all the noise of the city and leaves to the countryside to learn to find what's signal and what's noise, returns to the city after having found what he was looking for.

I don't read and I am not creative.

The Gods Demand A Sacrifice
Neurological Collapse
Brutality of the Soul
The Great Hyperorgasmic Suknfuk Feeding-frenzy

Amber Spleen

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solid one, brutal realitypill.
cultured pic

>The Sexual Politics Of Microplastics
a guy spends his life digging deep into the microplastic and chemtrail affairs, believing they are the reason he never felt sexual attraction. at one point he realised he's hypersensitive, overly empathetic, timid even - and spent his years researching the causes of why men are so feminised.
he made several important discoveries of scientific nature, enraged certain figures, gained high controversy and swarms of both admirers and haters.
when he dies, he's somewhat surprised to find himself at the gates of Heaven. "I wanted you to be a monk and a charity brother," said a voice, "but you did enough good either way."

in a dusty Iranian city, on a buzzing and booming bazaar, one day appears a merchant of fantastic fabrics.
that gauze entraps cool air, these silks make you fast as a horse, this cotton restores your youth, the gemstones embroided make people like you, the printed design will attract you a sweetheart.
- And this, sahib? - asks a street boy, enticed and restless, pointing to a basket of sewing attire.
- These threads are for people who don't read.
Perplexed, he takes one, and then...

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At least it isn't one of the same 10 threads about the same 50 books

got more

When You Wish Upon A Tsar

Semen Of The Immortals

The Mechanic's Engineer

Killing The Last Human On Earth

The Poisonous Picnic

Have You Ever Looked In The Mirror, Mr. President?

The Loneliest Theory in the World

Taking It All Back

Tealing

The Scratch

As Tall as Power Lines