If you had to be the henchman of a Batman villain who would you work for? I'd work for either Harley or Penguin

she got so fucking wet

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How he treats the hench who spat gum at his mother’s funeral vs the one who cried at it

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Was she getting wet or can the artist not draw faces?

It's not Batman's but I'd work for Black Manta.

>EMT Paramedic.

Triggered. That like saying "PA Physician".

I was asking about the other part of that statement, everyone knows Penguin is a great boss.

I want to fuck classic Harley but there's not enough porn of her

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Scarecrow and only Scarecrow. I have a very inconvenient crush on him - though he doesn't seem to have henchpeople very often.

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He doesn't have any henchmen because he's more of a up close psychological kind of guy although if he were I wonder what he would use them for

Mostly for set up, Fear is often a matter of Atmosphere, so he'd mostly have you making sure the room is just dark enough, lights are flickering properly, you're basically making a Haunted House.
Or testing out his fear gas on you, by surprise.

If I had to guess, they probably end up guinea pigs one way or another.

Have fun being his lab rat I guess.

>Care about your well being
>Help you lynch niggers, muties and inferior races
>Has actual future vision beside I PUNCH THIS
>Good dental plan
>Will probably help you spot at gym

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Not a bat villian, but close to one of them

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If I say "Killer Croc," will I get savior of the homeless KC or maybe The Batman's professional heistmaker KC or just like big dumb cannibal KC?

go back to fucking her ex Boyfriend batman

What comic is this from? Love when someone can actually get penguin right.

He's the hero we don't have

Penguin without a doubt. He has a short temper but if you don't piss him off and remain loyal, you are set for life

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Penguin: Pain and Prejudice. Easily his best series ever

Probably Riddler. He seems to treat his henchmen pretty good

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Sometimes it's worth it working for a stable narcissist. He's even good on occasion, so sometimes you can actually file your 1040.

Penguin recently made one of his henchmen kill himself.

Yes

She got wet, just check her pose in the last panel waaaaaay into it.

The version you want

And Joker once saved a little girl from an abusive home in a deathstroke comic. Doesn’t mean it’s the norm.

This, really the best place to call home as an organised criminal.

Like ordered to kill himself or just bullied into it?

meant for this

He told him to do it and he did. It was so revealed he fucks his Penguins.

Henching for a female villain would probably be ridiculous. She'd blow a chunk of the money on bath bombs. All the food in the hideout is now keto friendly,even though you're doing the paleo thing.

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Somebody post the henching for Ridder/Freeze greentexts

Ivy maybe I'll get superpowers

>if you don't piss him off
Pretty big ask. The Penguin systematically ruined a chef's life and drove him to suicide just because he may have laughed at him (but probably was just laughing at something completely unrelated in the background).

Bane.
He rescued his men before.
Penguin isn't the original decent guy - he's be written as "le edgy Cockney man which'll kill you for annoying him"

Bane is legitimately the only one who gives a fuck about his cronies.

So, full disclosure: I've never seen this episode (which I'm guessing is from The New Batman Adventures or whatever because Nightwing is there), but did Harley really have Captain Clown, Miriam and the lady robot from HARDAK as henchmen? Because that's awesome.
Re:Thread topic, Penguin or Magpie. Be respectful, be professional at all times, and don't make earthly attachments to stuff that's shiny.

I’d also pick the Riddler, I’m not that smart so it probably wouldn’t end to well for me, but I’d be honest and tell him if he asked why I picked him? If I’m gonna be a grunt I’d like to be a grunt for the smartest guy I know, maybe I’ll even learn something by the end of it. I’d probably get put in one of his death traps but I don’t see me doing much better working for someone else. Maybe Great White Shark but probably not, I know he’s nuts I just like him.

>or Magpie
>Be respectful, be professional at all times, and don't make earthly attachments to stuff that's shiny

Are you retard? She is biggest psycho in DC.

This. Manta autist, but good in business. Marauding is bad, but other vilalins far worst from that, even Cold.

>All the food in the hideout is now keto friendly,even though you're doing the paleo thing.
While both retarded, neither are at odds with one another. You can do paleo with keto foods and keto with paleo foods.
Both would be kinda shit for strength gains though, so you'd better learn how to handle a gun.

More likely you'll become plant food.

I would pick Warren as my 2nd choice too. Way better choice if your gonna work with a crime lord like Penguin and Black Mask

I'd honestly think Harley would live in utter filth most of the time, she's dense like that.

That's why I said ''Maybe''

Penguin gets pushed at random as this super brutal edgelord to make him stand out so that wouldn't be a good idea. Harley is batshit crazy and is too close to the Joker. Bane is unironically really nice to his companions. Bane is truly based

Condiment King or some other Jobber, just time our heists right so there is always some bigger shit going on and keep a low profile, easy money

That version, yes, but he's not usually depicted as being that demented/malicious. He's usually too pissed at the heroes to care about punishing his henchmen, unlike others.

Bane.

ok.

it's been said freeze gives you health insurance,i'm going with freeze

Either one of the absolute no namers like the Carpenter or Condiment king. Who are weak and stupid enough that a random normie could conceivably win against them.

Or someone saneish enough to not off people on a whim. Modern Penguin is probably the closest to this.

Harley is nuts and have a even nuttier boyfriend. She is right out.

Modern Penguin kills his henchmen all the time though

when she not dating joker she's a better person.

She was on her lonesome when she bombed a bunch kids a few years back.

Sure she might be better when the Joker is not around. But he is around pretty often and not as bad is still very very bad.

Well health insurance is always great.

bane's more of a do-it-yourself kind of guy. don't think he'd have any henchmen. maybe a helper.

I always read the expression as being very "I fucked up"

From the Batman & Harley Quinn movie. Harley's singing in a nightclub for some reason and they thought it'd be funny to throw in cameos from minor B:TAS characters.

>be regular guy living alone in Gotham City
>no family, only a few distant friends
>no qualifications or references, have to settle for temp work wherever I can get it
>utterly sick of eating rice for dinner every night but can't risk missing another rent payment or I'm sleeping rough
>occasionally get recommended some moonlighting, low-level enforcer stuff like watching doors
>feel really uncomfortable but I need the money so badly I can't say no
>spend my time idly dreaming about what it would be like to enjoy financial security
>one night a really fancy car rolls up to the place I was told to go to
>small guy with a top-hat and monocle gets out, surrounded by a contingent of bodyguards
>no idea who he is but he's way above my pay grade
>lucky bastard
>shoots me a glance as I walk in
>can't quite place why but a shiver runs down my spine
>Tommy, the other guy working the door, tells me that's Oswald Cobblepot
>engagepanicmode.jpg
>heard the stories about him, read a few articles in the paper
>apparently killed people for looking at him the wrong way
>visible terror begins to show, must be looking like the most worthless doorman ever
>scared shitless he's going to order me dead because I didn't greet him politely or because I forgot some sort of social protocol
Continued

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>next several days consist of nothing but worry and sleeplessness
>dark rings appear under my eyes, losing what little weight I have
>can't afford to take any time off and relax
>back moonlighting again and Cobblepot rolls up to the joint, all decked out in fancy threads and looking like a million bucks
>me, looking like absolute shit in comparison
>as he's passing by, stand tall and give him a curt "Sir"
>never served in the military but imagine that's what grunts would do in this situation
>night passes uneventfully, manage to bum a few smokes
>door opens up and I'm told to come inside
>never told to come inside before, very uncertain about what to do
>other doorman gives me a nod that says 'do whatever you're told and be quick about it'
>swiftly bound inside
>place is pretty desolate and not very well lit, think there's a few other guys around but it's hard to tell
>see a table and a couple of chairs around
>figure some sort of meeting was happening but don't give it too much thought
>told to sit down and sit down
>Cobblepot appears
>ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod
>he takes a seat opposite me
>stiffen like a board
>"Mr. user A. Anonymous isn't it?"
>nod yes like a moron
>"Do you believe it's acceptable for somebody in my employ to appear so disheveled?"
>struggle to find a response, wasn't expecting to face what feels like a life-or-death interrogation
>"What seems to be the problem?"
>sense of dread intensifies, sweating profusely, feel like I'm close to passing out
>it's as if somebody's reaching inside my gut and grabbing hold of my insides with an icy grip
>can't decide whether to lie and try to give him the answer he wants or be truthful and risk giving him an answer that might displease him
>might displease him anyway if he sees that I'm lying
>can't resolve this dilemma
>see that his demeanor hasn't changed but imagine he must be getting impatient
Continued

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>decide to answer truthfully - tell him that I didn't even know I was working for him
>verbal diarrhea ensues
>before long I'm blathering on about my entire pathetic life situation
>tears in my eyes, so close to breaking down
>apologize profusely the entire time, know that he probably doesn't care in the least
>realize that I could well be a dead man
>sudden realization dawns on me that at least I wouldn't have to eat any more goddamn rice dinners
>break down fully, hating myself beyond measure
>feel a tap on my shoulder, somebody hands me a tissue
>try to compose myself, still apologizing for what it's worth
>"This situation is untenable Mr. Anonymous"
>take a deep breath, expect to wind up looking down the barrel of a gun
>strange sense of calm washes over me
>maybe this is what they mean by acceptance
>instead Mr. Cobblepot takes out a chequebook and starts writing
>hands me a slip of paper from across the table
>take one look at it and go wide-eyed
>it has more money written on it than I've earned in my whole life
>"When I see you next, I expect you to have your affairs in order and to be of proper demeanor"
>with this much money I could get my own apartment, no rent or mortgage
>buy months of non-perishable food in advance, not have to worry about groceries
>have plenty for bills and enough left over to spend on some luxury items
>can't remember the last time I had nice things like new clothes and holidays
>next shift at work, be told I'm working full-time
>can hardly believe I'm gainfully employed
>next time I see Mr. Cobblepot I'm dressed in a suit with a full stomach and feeling rested for the first time in what feels like an eternity
>offer him a warm smile and a nod
>"Good evening Mr. Cobblepot. Are you well tonight?"
>"Yes. And yourself Mr. Anonymous?"
>"Never better sir. Never better"
You guys can say whatever you want about any of the other bosses in Gotham but I will not hear a word against Mr. Oswald Cobblepot

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Thanks for putting this back in my head, OP.
youtube.com/watch?v=baWC7buWmDA

OK that's epic.

Gotta go with The Mouse. Quiet, nerdy chicks are desperate to be adopted by an extroverted guy; plus she's so rarely active I'd only have to work like twice a year.

That was some damn good green

Penguin, riddler, ah ghul, calendar girl

Someone that isn't likely to attack me.

How about Two-Face?

If I piss him off at least I got a 50 percent chance he'll let me live.

Yeah but if you impress him there's a 50 percent chance he'll skin you

there's also a 50% chance he'll betray you and team with batman

>most of the thread chooses Penguin
Good taste.
I'm not a huge fan of how pointlessly murderous and cruel they make him in modern comics, it's bad for business and it's something a common thug does, not a gentleman, and Oswald is all about trying to be a gentleman.

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I really liked these guys as well as the idea of the Riddler surrounding himself with a band of friendly goons who are all much stupider than he is, but who genuinely like and support him.

I prefer Query and Echo but I wouldn't be opposed to these guys showing up in canon, as long as it's not with that shitty Riddler we've been stuck with for a while now.

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The normal mob. No certified nutcase boss to kill you on a whim and batman is usually too busy beating up metahumans and the joker to notice the mob.

Riddler or Killer moth

My grandfather and father were in the mob. It is not that fun.

But then you deal with the police

Id want to work with Ivy. I do bioligy stuff and am crazy about redheads. If I could figure out the antivenom thing Im pretty sure I could fuck the gay outta that girl. Also, Ivy+HQ threesome opportunities

won't work user, she'd drug you and make you confess everything then turn you into fertilizer for her garden
Ivy is bad news, stick with the Riddler or Penguin, even Black Mask isn't that bad of an option as long as you don't fail or stare at him

They just don't let you in on anything fun because you're a cartoon loving manchild and evidently also a filthy rat who tells strangers on the internet that your family is in the mob.

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Yeah but then the clown comes around to get her back and ropes you into his bullshit. Not worth.

Too many buildings collapse in al-ghul’s plans. Don’t wanna be anywhere near that guy.

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All the A and B listers, male and female, have been shown to callously disregard their henchmen's lives.

Maybe I could go for someone small-time relatively sane enough like Sable Lady and become her beta orbiter until she finally takes pity on me and fucks me.

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Both of them are dead and I have no siblings. The cartoon manchild thing is accurate though

She is a man hating lesbian who also used to be a pedo. So unless you are a little girl you are fucked

Black Mask sadistically tortures his henchmen for fun.

what the fuck you massive faggot, you can't stop there. Who the fuck posts 5 pages of a storytime, IM INVESTED DAMN IT

Not a Batman villain but I'd work for the Fisherman. He seems like a fun dude and he'd be the least likely to kill me for shits and giggles.

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I don't get that. i like the evolution of the character but i don't want her being a hero. Catwoman does good things because she doesn't want people to die. Harley does good things because she feels like it. Catwoman more of a moral code than Harley and Harley should be able to go back to Joker for a story but the more divorced she is from the her original versions, the less likely that's happening

Kite Man, hell yeah.

How about this one?

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Wew I needed that user very good stuff

any of the d/e/f listers really.. i'd probably be able to help them pull it off and like another user earlier said plan our jobs around times other big stuff is going down (assuming we get on the in and hear rumors). only problem is combat.. I doubt I could land a punch on ol batsy

I would pick the sexy one
Penguin.

Does anyone know what this comic is called? I wanna finish it, i'm 'trigued.

Are you a man? You know what, fuck it, you're human. You don't work for Ivy, you feed her children.

kek

It’s in Batman Adventures. Spoiler: Riddler gets his happy ending after all

Reminder of that time Penguin bought out a legitimate business just so all his former thugs could get real, paying jobs after he heard their prison sentences went onto their records.

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Storytime?

>Henchman
>Harley Quinn
From what I recall, she's a henchman herself. And when Quinzel isn't a henchman she's an antihero like Kyle. Picking her is just a weird way of saying you work for The Joker.

If I remember right, Batman only catches Riddler because his theft had attracted other criminals. When he finds out that Batman failed to solve his riddle, Riddler happily skips and sings all the way back to Arkham.

well now im more mad that the user stopped posting it halfway through. FURIOUS, even

It’s a 40s comic, I doubt many of you guys will bother reading it. Here’s the important page.

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readcomiconline.to/Comic/The-Batman-Adventures/Issue-10?id=57796 Here’s a link, fag

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Tom King's a great writer huh?

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Thanks man.

Fuck. Now I want to work for him.

But Harley is NOT a villain.

kek and based

The
>BZZZZZZZZZZ
wasn't the saw.

Well it is the most efficient way to become a plastic man.

I think in the old comics he had some of his psychology students as his henchman

Ivy, maybe, since I'm cool with taking care of plants and all that - assuming it's not full "gas the meatbags" Ivy, of course.
Otherwise, I'm in agreement with on taking the easy life.

>climb stupid fucking tower
>jesus christ I'm scared of heights
>and it's so fucking windy and cold up here
>At least I only have to place this ugly ass trophy and then I'm done for the night

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wait Harley is jokers henchwoman

occasionally