Get a handjob in 5.2

Do you think Toby'll let him live in his basement?

>the gay
>dampen
watch jeapardy and maybe you'll learn something

>Vriska is an [dolphin sound]

I don't know what you're trying to say here. Whatever conflicts and development Kanaya had before she hooked up with Rose were lost, and she just became the dull attendant for the Mattiorb. Remember her weapon, chainsaws/lipstick? When was the last time she used that, or it was relevant to her character?

you shouldn't say gay relationships were what made it wrong, it's how she was written
you can use a chainsaw and still be gay...

In Game Over? In Collide?

What are you trying to say exactly?

I'm saying her relationship is precisely what did it, because at that point she became Rose's satellite and rarely interacted with anyone else. And when with Rose she acted more like a cardboard cutout. It was written poorly sure, but she had more to her character before Rose consumed it. Only a little more sure, but still more.

quiz off and enjoy the gay, there's nothing more beautiful than two women kissing because 1+1=2

When it's one girl kissing a walking photograph of another girl shit's boring. There was no conflict, no drive, no nothing. She didn't intervene when Rose was a drunk, and her own blood addiction is played for laughs instead of an actual problem. There's very few facets to her character, and we already saw them all by then.

>saying a vampire being addicted to blood is a problem
>saying being an enabler is a bad thing when choices that only affect yourself are ok

yee

what about karkat
or dave
or jane
or meenah

hell, people love to meme thios but if you check it she has some of the least amount of logs with rose after they got together

Kanaya is just an idiotic, more prententious variation of Rose.

>saying a vampire being addicted to blood is a problem
But this was never a problem. Maybe if she actually attacked people at random sure, but she became a glorified flashlight that asked politely and bandaged wounds.
>saying being an enabler is a bad thing when choices that only affect yourself are ok
She wasn't even an enabler because she didn't know how to react and the problem was solved by Vriska, not her.

>what about Karkat
Went from mc to a fucking sidekick/cocksleeve for another character. Literally fucking cucked himself out of the story and even Sollux and Aradia make fun of him for only mattering in an irrelevant universe. Just l8l.
>Dave
Still a beloved character, but now has hetero and gay Dave fans waging war at each other. I think Davekat and Davejade both suck and none of them are his soulmates or some stupid shit.
>Jane
Hussie has no clue what to write about her and just turns her into a Trump/Hitler parody. Will probably be redeemed and learn a life lesson to fix herself again.
>Meenah
Probably grows up to be Condy again after Candy Karkat passes away and we get another Alternia. A simple character.

thats not what i meant but thanks for the quick rundown

my point was that funnily enough kanaya interacts with them just as much or more than with rose (on screen)

Kanaya was interesting prior to Cascade because she was the Space player of her session with a tumultuous situation regarding the friends she had and the love interest she focused on. Kanaya wanted Vriska badly, to the point she did anything for her including making the fairy costume that later was used by Vriska to make her moves on Tavros. The perpetuation of her species relies ENTIRELY on her and is also a cornerstone of her motivations. Kanaya admits she gets close to 'dangerous girls' as a want to temper their dangerous attributes.

This is why she's attracted to Rose initially, because Rose was not only competent but also a patented badass Kanaya built up in her head. Rose was about breaking Sburb and giving the big fat finger to fate. She withheld information of what she was doing to her friends and proactively dabbled with insidious dark creatures that eventually sent her babbling mad.

Rose meanwhile was snarky, distrustful of things aligned with the game (including Jade, who was the herald of it and the one who presented the game to the circle of friends). She had a complicated relationship with her mother, ascribing her doting attitude as a passive aggressive sleight on her that she returned with furious energy. She clearly has issue with authority and thinks she's smarter than everyone in the room with her overly verbose nature, and as long as someone says what she wants to hear she'll give them the time of day (even mysterious white text people who she trusts to some insane degree).

These two gravitate towards each other with a series of text logs that bounce off each other well. Rose being snarky and verbally sparring with Kanaya, and Kanaya fussing over Rose and vocally calling into question her dangerous choices. It's a fun dynamic, actually, and if it were carried through it could have been great. Unfortunately it all falls to the wayside after the 3 year skip.

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this

the reason rose/kanaya becomes boring after they get together is not because they only interact with each other, but because they interact less and even those fall flat

What's awful is this doesn't even have to be anything and at least with Game Over's timeline there could have been some explorations with the characters. Kanaya clearly was losing interest with Rose and her sad sack of shit state, always drunk as hell and not at all what she paid into when they first started dating. Rose meanwhile was vaguely aware she was fucking up but never really vocalizes to anyone, especially Kanaya, just what her damn problem was.

Here's a kicker: Rose saw her mother's corpse and that on top of being tricked by Doc Scratch made her come to the realization she isn't as smart as she thinks she is. She got played like a goddamn fiddle. And, what's worse, she can't SEE anything which is indicative that there is no path that leads to victory. A fact which is absolute bullshit since Terezi, a non-Godtier Seer, is capable of sussing out a victorious route. Rose fails in many aspects, as a Seer, as a girlfriend, as a friend, and a daughter. All of this failing for her is good fucking shit but nothing gets dragged to the surface. Even note the fact that she played this game originally to bring her cat back to life and notice after the meetups she doesn't bother with Jaspersprite anymore, which could be interesting as a marker of her personal guilt in the monkey's paw of trading life between her mother and her damn cat.

And all this complex shit aside Kanaya has her own shit on her shoulders. The implication that it was the 'right time' to take her Matriorb out of her Sylladex only for it to be destroyed would be a disconcerting thing, and lead into the whole villain that inevitability and fate presents in Homestuck. There's also the irony that the destroyer of the Matriorb was in part her creation, as she was the one who made the White Wand for Eridan prior to his flip out. She bears responsibility for her greatest loss and the biggest loss of her kind and it never seems to be a big damn deal to her.

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in rose's defense terezi was only able to figure out a victorious path once shes made aware of johns retcon powers

before that the two path she was able to see was bec killing everyone and the one leading to game over

igger

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>Rose's defense
A non-Godtier outperformed her. Rose was given keys to the kingdom and fucked it up because of her unwillingness to do anything she should do like play the goddamn rain. Rose fails as a Seer even when she's made to be a god. She's easily the most worthless and pathetic god of all the humans when it comes to using their powers (and yes this even includes Jake).

>A non-Godtier outperformed her

again: only after she met john, by which point rose was dead

im not saying youre wrong in her never using her powers right but outperforming a dead girl is not that big of an achievement

After reading the epilogue, I’m glad they were mostly left untouched
I’ll take boring over tumblrized any day

Kanaya got everything she wanted as a character. A dangerous girl who was beholden to her and controllable, revenge on her enemies, a safe relationship where she was basically in charge because Rose has mommy issues visible from space.

Then nothing happens. They hold hands and love each other very much. There's no look at the misconceptions and lies that formed the foundation of the relationship, how Kanaya deals with Rose succumbing to despair and Seer-itis, how she deals with her own quest failing and utter lack of will to do anything about it until Roxy inexplicably decides to save the species that ruined her planet for fun.

What changes if Kanaya dies during murderstick besides Rose having to interact with other characters instead of being shunted off to the side? She gets every shallow, petty thing she wants and gives very little back to the story. That's what 'get a handjob' means.

Nothing went wrong, just the opposite in fact, she completed her arc. Then the flailing retards took center stage to try and complete theirs.

Karkat isn't a flailing retard!

Sometimes you get off on fucking with people. It's a deliberate callback to Doc Scratch's uncomfortable uncle thing and Rose being a fucking sucker for that kind of setup.

It's okay instead of really dealing with grief or her relationship being a lie or even the relief of being unhooked from a horse that was dragged into the ground Kanaya got righteously angry and will kill Dirk because that's what Kanaya does.

>if you’re not constantly the center of attention, something has gone wrong
Vriska thread?

Shipping was a mistake

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What's bizarre is even in the retcon timeline a big wrench in their dynamic is Vriska's existence. How did Kanaya gravitate towards Rose again when Vriska is being Vriska? There's even a moment during Kanaya's final rushdown when she socked Vriska that she was momentarily aroused, something that kind of passes without much fanfare and even seemed to be forgotten by Vriskagram.

You'd think it'd be the scene with Meenah ditching (Vriska) all over again, with Kanaya lingering on Vriska being a dangerous rude bitch that's oodles hotter to her than quiet mopey Rose.

>love eridan ampora with every fiber of my being
>despise erisol with every fiber of my being
>its pretty much the only thing 80% of the fandom associates eridan with
just fucking end it

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I can’t believe she got her designer skirt all covered in mother grub slurry

>That's what 'get a handjob' means.
oh...I thought it was a tentabulge joke

haha

I never want to read that word again.

>I think Davekat and Davejade both suck
Good taste, user.

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That’s just how much she loves her xenogirlfrond

maybe this means once you get what you want means you have nothing to strive for anymore?

aka dirk did nothing wrong

Do you prefer Cocknaya instead?

That seemed like a theme of Candy to me. What happens when immature, immortal gods get bored?

my brain isn’t broken in a way that allows me to enjoy futa so unfortunately no

it makes me fucking livid how despite the epilogue have valid issues everyone is mostly butthurt about it because their favourite ship didnt go the way they wanted to

Andrew? Andrew Hussie? Is that you?

Andrew, I can't and won't make this any simpler for you.

You failed at life. You failed. When one thinks of what man is capable of, pushing himself to the limits physically, mentally and emotionally to achieve heights of success never before mentioned, your name will not be whispered in the same, reverent fashion that others have.

Nobody will remember Andrew Hussie. You aren't even a header or a footer in the career of someone else. You are nobody. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

In short, you are an enormous failure.

Andrew, being that you're about 35 years old and your brain has probably hard-wired itself to accept such failures by now and write off such criticism by being "flippant", really suggests that you've passed beyond the proverbial breaking-point. There's no turning back. This is your career, this is what defines you and this is what you'll defend to the end.

The abhorrent failure that is MS Paint Comics, Andrew Hussie, that is your legacy.

Maybe I'm over-reaching, however. Who knows? People CAN change. Maybe you'll read this, Andrew, and think long and hard about what a wasteful life you've led. Maybe you'll think, "wow. It's incredible just how abysmal and pathetic I really AM!" Maybe you'll lift some weights in the morning. Maybe you'll take a self-help class.

Maybe in a couple of years, Andrew, you'll have learned from this failure. I doubt it, though.

I genuinely doubt it.

Now excuse me, I have to work on Undertale 2. My accountant estimates over sixty million dollars in sales.

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>DaveJade
Shippers miss that Dave's coolkid thing is a front and Jade constantly feeds into that, she's too socially oblivious to tell what his issues are and her energy completely overwhelms him.

Dave's problem consistently is identity, for Jade her closeness revolved around Davesprite and their breakup happened because of Davesprite's hangups of not being 'the real Dave'. Dave meanwhile was a bit of an asshole to Jade in the game, he let himself be killed (by her redirected bullets even!) and scrapped with Rose to do a suicide mission. Dave never wants to be the hero and he never really is, he's a narcissistic douche absorbed with his own bullshit involving his Bro.

Ever notice Davesprite and Davepeta don't say shit about Bro? Davesprite even fought alongside Bro, he saw him die even. I swear Bro is just a retarded scapegoat for Dave to slough off responsibility and parade about Bro as some kind of inhuman monster.

>he's a narcissistic douche absorbed with his own bullshit
which makes him perfect for the fishcock

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Based

>Karkat gets all the attention for his cuck adventure in the meteor during Act 6
>"wooow vriska is such an attention whore"

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>its a 'vriskafriend gets upset people criticize the character' episode

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seething clownfucker

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Hussie said they're both cut from the same cloth. I'm not sure they'd work 100% but they probably would find common ground about 'bein a kid is hard and nobody understands' schtick. At least they'd be stylish motherfuckers?

Oh yeah, they're both narcissist douchebags but in their own ways. Dave is more of the "2cool" type while Eridan is just a pretentious cunt. But I like that about the pair.

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Based Tobyposter

>How did Kanaya gravitate towards Rose again when Vriska is being Vriska?

Because Rose is also a light player.

I spent the last night reading meowrails fics for hours. Ah shit here we go again...

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Because she vas over Vriska and done with her shit even by the time their session got fucked over by Bec and had to hide on the meteor.

If oyu look back, she starts to act the same way towards Rose originally as well. It's only after they brought up enough rapport and their chemistry starting to show (and Rose acting somewhat competent without being a bitch about it like Vriska) that she lowers her guard, and even then it was not her who initiated the relationship.

She even wanted to stay at the green sun originally with Aradia and Sollux before Rose (and the others) convinced hers. I'm not saying she never liked Rose, but she was never head over heels into her before like some people make it out to be.

>Andrew, being that you're about 35 years old
He'll hit 40 this year.

do you think he’ll have a birthday party at Olive Garden?